(Julius Argenti POV)
"How have you been Julius?" Umbra came up to me as I sat on the table alone eating steak.
I wanted to speak with my teachers, but Demetrius disliked formal occasions and only told me to meet him at Whitepeak City in a couple of days.
Apparently, if you get a master, you are allowed to take days off if they permit it.
Whitepeak City was a small mountainous city located south of here in the state of Aquartus. It was near the westernmost side of the continent. Whitepeak was extremely cold, being below -20 degrees during the entire year.
When I spoke to Blanche, she said she would follow Demetrius' lead. She had some ideas but she wanted to let the most experienced one go first. She also wanted to learn from him.
After all, despite being on the same level, the gap in age, experience and power was massive.
"I've been fine Mr. Moria."
I redirected my thoughts back to Umbra. I replied to him back to him without looking up from my food.
"Doesn't seem like it." He pulled up a chair and sat opposite me. "You aren't with your friends."
"I've lost interest in them. I don't need them anymore."
Isn't it a bit too late for your emo phase? Tell me the truth. You cannot lie to me. Also brat, you're being too disrespectful." As he said his last sentence, he pressured me with some of his {Haki}.
As I looked at him, I saw his brown eyes boring into me. It sent a shiver down my spine. I had forgotten. This person was a deadly assassin with a kill count that couldn't be numbered.
"Why are you avoiding your friends?" Umbra repeated his question again.
"Because I'm scared. I know my nature. I don't want to hurt them with my selfishness." I hoped I could convince them with those words.
"Continue."
But Umbra wouldn't let me off with only just that.
"What happens if I'm in a life or death situation? I would sacrifice them for my life in an instant. I know I would do this because I nearly have. The thought scares me."
"Well, I expected it was something like that. But your friends won't let you be alone."
"They'll eventually give up."
"It might take a while. I spoke to them before and they are all very stubborn. Also, I noticed Amina's unusual expression whenever you are mentioned. What happened between you two?"
Those last words Umbra spoke were laced with poison.
"She confessed to me. However, I rejected her. But, I believe she's still chasing after me for some reason." I replied nonchalantly.
"Good. If you had accepted, I would've killed you now."
"Overprotective parent much?"
"It's not for the reason you think it is. I don't really care if anyone dates Amina, but the only thing I require from them is that they care for her. Do you?"
"Yes! We're friends. Though I only love her platonically." I put my fork down and stopped eating.
"Really? I guess you could be called friends by the most basic of definitions. But how close is the bond between you two? From the looks of it, Violet and Amina share are closer bond than you two even though you've known each other for longer."
I couldn't respond to that statement. I wanted to deny his words, but I knew deep in my heart it was true. If we were truly friends, I'd be able to put my life on the line for theirs.
"You know, I'd hoped you would change. You were making progress before, but now you regressed backwards, returning even before your starting point."
"What do you mean?" Umbra's words dumbfounded me.
"When I first found you, you were closed off. You have always been distant from others. Whatever relationships you've formed have been shallow. Your interest in someone only existed because they could benefit you."
'No, those are lies.'
But the more I thought about it, the more I realised it was true. I never gave a second thought to my classmates in SUITE after I defeated them all.
I only became friends with Amina because she was powerful and talented. I only cared about people who could help me.
"And are you sure you are staying away from friends because you're scared you don't want to hurt them or because you'll get too attached to them?"
I had no words. Umbra was exposing everything to me, deconstructing my feelings and emotions. Everything about me was being laid bare. I couldn't hide anything from him.
"Why are telling me about this? What are you trying to do?"
"Because I want you to change."
"Isn't my personality and attitude perfect for an assassin? I have little attachment to anything and I will do anything to survive. In fact, your personality seems the opposite of the greatest assassin."
I was a bit pissed, so I unintentionally insulted Umbra.
"Yes, I'm a failure of an assassin, letting my emotions get the better of me. But, I don't regret it."
I was stunned. I didn't think Umbra would actually admit it right in front of me. Umbra wanted to selflessly change me.
Keeping me like this was the best thing for his organisation, but he wanted me to change because he cared for me.
However, I couldn't. The memories of my first death, Carl Ramirez kidnapping me, my near-death experience with the hornets. And my other near-death experience that happened recently.
The fear I experience death was something I didn't want to experience.
If I am ever put in that situation again, I couldn't hesitate because of my friends. I had to live. Otherwise, I would die.
Friends may help me, but in the end, when you die, you'll die alone. I didn't want to die.
"I'm sorry Mr. Moria, but I cannot change. You probably haven't felt the fear I've felt, so you probably don't understand. But loving and caring about someone will only be a weakness. I cannot be weak."
"Haaah, I had a hunch this would be your answer. Well, I tried. And I probably won't stop trying. I also, those last words of yours, loving someone being a weakness. It seems you have experienced something recently related to that. You mind telling me?"
"Wow, I cannot hide anything from you. Sure, I'll tell you."