When it comes to feelings, who can stand being suddenly thrown into an unfamiliar world as soon as she's made peace with death? If she was told she would live once more to take responsibility for a deed she didn't do at all, she would without a doubt sincerely reject it.
If asked if she can adapt well or not, she will say yes, she can. She is strong enough to reconstruct her heart and strengthen her belief, that whatever has been given to her is a gift. Even if it was another painful life she needed to live.
How did she get here? If she looked back at everything that had happened, she was also at a loss for what to say. When a mother has given birth to a child and raised it until that child is the parent of another child, she cannot look back to recap it all and wonder how she got to where she is now. That is exactly what she felt now.
When people have dreams and hopes, the world has reality and despair.
If she had known things would turn out this way, she would not have wanted to be revived and continue the suffering and despair of others.
-0-
As usual, the day moved on without waiting for anyone. The sun rises and sets without thinking there is a human on earth who does not want the arrival of a new day. To be sure, that person wasn't Kirsi no matter how much she didn't want to go to the palace fall hunting event. After spending her first-week adjusting, Kirsi still couldn't tolerate how bad her health was. It wasn't just her strange and disorderly appetite, even her immune system was so bad that she almost got frustrated.
Along with Alruna, 4 other ladies-in-waiting always run between the bathroom and her room to bring warm water and wipe her as long as she can't move her body. No, not because she was seriously ill. It was just that she was so lazy that even breathing became an uphill task. Cedric laughed at her and didn't say much about it. Alruna didn't mind either. With motherly affection, she continued to deal with Kirsi's childish behaviour for several days.
On the outside, no one seemed to mind that. But other people's thoughts are beyond our control. Who knows what the senior ladies-in-waiting who were sent by the palace in an honourable manner to serve the residents of the crown prince, who suddenly had to be expelled in such a disgraceful manner the other day simply because of the incompetence of their young mistress, felt about Kirsi.
A few days after Kirsi's hurricane of laziness passed, people's behaviour grew colder towards her even after she doubled their fall allowance. But, yeah. Cedric had said at the outset that people's sympathy was something money couldn't buy. With Kirsi acting stupid and impulsive like this, all she got was a look of disdain from others. It's a shame that Kirsi is a young girl who has become accustomed to being in the corner of other people's eyes as a stain, alienation and cold shoulder of others is her daily diet in her past life.
At first, the professional maids never crossed the line and were just playing around a bit when Kirsi called them. They came as requested, but it really took a long time for it, as if their journey was carried out while building a new civilization. Not just once, it happened many times. Worse yet, there are many times when Kirsi needs some things and they will bring different things. Just as Kirsi was about to explode with anger, the harsh reality reminded her that there was no good result from being angry, so she swallowed back her anger. Kirsi didn't have enough face to report this to Cedric, and the maids who knew about it purposely made fun of her only when Cedric wasn't home, or Alruna wasn't around to report to Cedric.
Stirring the sweet chamomile tea with her irritating grin, Kirsi enjoyed her tea time by Cedric's fishing pond. Kirsi understood very well that she was not the daughter-in-law the Emperor wanted. Already since Kirsi was close to the third prince, the Emperor didn't take much interest in her, considering that all Kirsi could do was create trouble and trouble. With such bad sentiments, the Emperor still sent a large number of professional maids to this residence. Kirsi wasn't stupid enough not to get the point. From the start the people in this house had reasons not to like her, and in addition to the incident of the sudden dismission the other day, the impression dropped even more.
Alruna was busy checking the things to bring for the fall hunting event the day after tomorrow, and left her post next to Kirsi. Her position was temporarily replaced by Laura and 3 other maids to serve. They were quite young senior servants. Apart from being from a branch of the capital's noble family, their arrogant attitude also stems from their feeling of superiority over Kirsi. The Crown Prince was very likely to ascend the throne and become the Emperor in the future, but the Crown Princess was just a mate that could be replaced at any time. With that in mind, there was no reason for them to treat this troubled young madam well.
Today not only is the tea too sweet, but many parts of the charred cake are covered with cream and served to eat. They probably expected an angry Kirsi to explode and prepare to spread the news as bad rumours. Unfortunately, even if Kirsi had been a picky eater for the past few days, she was basically a girl who used to eat barely stale food out of the fridge. For semi-scorched food like this, it wasn't a big deal for her.
Ignoring people's uncomfortable gazes, Kirsi swallowed her food. If she fell ill from the whole dish this afternoon, then the people who would be blamed would be them. It was impossible to let this matter go unnoticed by Cedric. Knowing that, the ladies-in-waiting could only move uncomfortably.
"Gosh, I forgot. Don't we need umbrellas here? It's so hot. Laura, get me an umbrella." The sky above was overcast, but the madam at the crown prince's residence waved her hands in front of her face as if it was hot summer.
Laura might be able to take the wrong things and arrive late when called, but no matter how high her position as a senior servant in the palace was, she was still a servant. The employer's order is the rule for her. Laura smiled kindly and said, "Yes, madam." She went off alone and took a poor-quality umbrella from the soup kitchen.
When Laura returned, Kirsi said in shock, "Laura, my goodness, who would dare to give you such an ugly umbrella? Wouldn't that be tantamount to humiliating the wife of the owner of this residence right in front of her face?"
Kirsi dramatically slammed her hands on the table and put on a concerned look. Even though in normal circumstances she wasn't very good at controlling her facial expressions, if she really meant to, it wasn't a difficult thing to fabricate one. She continued her bullshit, saying, "Tell me where did you get it? This venerable one won't let them off the hook."
Laura was so scared that she was sweating profusely in this cool fall. She immediately bowed to apologize seriously, and with her face still professional, she rebutted, "Madam, it is this humble servant's fault in choosing her umbrella. Please punish this lowly person!" if the soup kitchen were to be punished for it, then the most hated person in this residence would be her.
Kirsi put on a sad face and said, "There is no other choice then. Justice must be served, just laws must be applied from above as an example. Isn't that right, Laura?"
The story reached Cedric's desk while he was enjoying his bottle of rice wine alone. The 14 m² room is filled with various bookshelves and room decorations that emphasize intellectual impressions such as globes, half-meter-wide map frames, flower vases, and much more.
The glass bottle clinked as it gently collided with the obsidian stone-covered tabletop. It rained several times in the tenth month. The maple leaves around the palace had already turned red. Cedric watched through the glass window with his clear deep blue eyes, like a sapphire pool stretching for thousands of kilometres. No one could guess what was in his mind just by taking a spoonful of water from the ocean.
As he poured his next glass of wine, Cedric noticed how the strings of words formed sentences that independently wrote themselves on the surface of the paper on his tea table. When his 14-year-old servant boy wrote in his little book about his little wife's progress, what he wrote would automatically reach Cedric's desk in real-time.
There was no particular expression on his face as he read all the messages quietly, while occasionally sipping his wine glass. Cedric averted his gaze as the word -done- appeared on the surface of the paper. He turned his gaze out the window once more, finding the tip of a tree branch slightly frozen.
The atmosphere in the palace is quite conducive. The Emperor's annual sickness had improved somewhat after the arrival of autumn, as if he was looking forward to this year's hunting event. Even though the Emperor was old, he had always been the most eager to calculate other people's bounty. When one of his 3 sons manages to bring in the most bounty, he won't hesitate to give them a basket of compliments combined with a proud pat on the head. It was no secret that the imperial family wouldn't be as harmonious as an ordinary family who couldn't even provide 3 meals a day in their house. Conspiracies will always continue.
The Emperor's affection is like an anthology of clouds in the sky that can leave as easily as they come. When the Emperor praised the princes with sparkling eyes, not a single one of them really took it to heart. However, their mothers were different. A child's greatest achievement is when their parents are proud. For the women who gave birth to and raised children for the Emperor, their comfortable court life was nothing more than a tight knot and had to endure how painful it was. Just like the instability of the Emperor's affections, Mother's love in the imperial harem is as easy to change as the seasons. Because of that, none of the people from the imperial clan was really looking forward to the autumn hunting event except for the Emperor himself.
According to tradition, everyone who joins the hunt must at least bring one member of his family to the hunting ground. Cedric's mother had died since he was still unable to count, and his father was not someone who could fit into the category of the closest people in his life. Last year, Cedric always took Alruna as the only family member he could bring. But this year was a bit different because he was married. Cedric didn't experience a flurry of feelings between joy and agog. He was just kind of looking forward to seeing that slight change firsthand. This year's hunting ground was held at the foot of Mount Ataraxia which was close to the palace.
Opposite Cedric, there was a bronze mirror half the height of a man hanging in front of the bookcase. When Cedric looked over there, his very reflection was looking back with a sinister look. The reflection said, [Isn't it too early to start the party alone, Alexander?]
Cedric didn't answer. There was silence for a while, before his rosy lips parted open, saying something, "Bring Black here."
[Aye-aye.]
Cedric snapped his fingers. A transparent veil immediately came out and silenced this room, isolating it from the outside world.
The mirror's shiny surface seemed to distort for a moment before revealing a different figure. It was a man with easily forgotten physical features. His entire facial composition was in such a perfect ratio that it felt a little creepy. That person stretched out his hand and pierced through the mirror, in an instant his whole body came out of the mirror, stepping into another world through a patch of a slit. When he came out, he immediately went before Cedric, and wordlessly sat across from him.
Cedric snapped his fingers once again, a golden portal appeared near his hand, and a small glass cup fell from it. Cedric caught it and gave it to Black who immediately poured himself some wine.
Cedric today is wearing his official uniform, jet black with medallions along his left chest, vibrating several times following the symphony of his heartbeat. On the outside of his uniform was a brick-red morning audience robe with a golden fleece border, thick enough to ward off the cold. Cedric crossed his legs, leaned lazily on the sofa, and raised his eyebrows high as he commented, "Whose face are you wearing this time?"
"Newspaper boy. I met him and wondered how a face with the right arrangement could look so ordinary and unattractive? Out of curiosity, I wore it." With a serious face, Black gave the reason. This newspaper boy's brows are neat with nice round almond eyes. His nose was small and pointed, and his lips were carved with the right proportions. But as soon as all these perfections are combined, all the other beauties that stand-alone seem to overpower the other.
Cedric chuckled, his canines showing at the corners of his lips. "Now that you're wearing it in front of me, I can't help but start thinking too."
Black drank his glass of wine in one gulp, asking, "Aren't you busy preparing for this year's hunt, Your Majesty?"
Cedric explained, "I may be the superior of the imperial guard, but I am nothing more than the mascot of the army. The main task will still come from the supreme commander. What can I do?" he gave a small chuckle at the end of his sentence, continuing, "Rather than that, Black, how about what I asked for?"
"Verdant's situation isn't very good either. After the withdrawal of the Grand Marshal's core troops at the western border command, Prince Evigheden was also withdrawn from the Verdant border. We can still remain calm as we enter autumn, but who knows what the successor will be?"
Cedric bit his finger, his small habit when digging through his memories. "Marquis Wing was stationed in the position of Grand Marshal there, right? But why should Marchioness Scarlett also be stationed there?"
Black gave a blank laugh, "Isn't that obvious? It's because Marquis Wing is useless."
"No. He is indeed useless, but if you have to withdraw a General from another frontier garrison, why bother placing an armchair general there in the first place? Not to mention, Marchioness Scarlett has a bad record with Marquis Wing."
Talking about that, Black was reminded of the sugar sales war a while ago. The safest way to trade to the Elysian region sails was via the Eastern route, but since the collapse of the Eastern region a few years ago, the safe route was moved to the Northern border controlled by Marchioness Scarlett. Marquis Wing who had the same title as the woman felt quite humiliated because if Marchioness Scarlett got her Marchioness title together with the jurisdiction under her name, Marquis Wing got the Marquis title just as an empty award. He does not have a special position, let alone his own autonomous region.
And the situation escalated further when the Marchioness raised a high price for escorting the Wing family's sugar sales expedition. After thinking about it again, Black had a thought. He said, "Although the Emperor is sometimes a simple person, he is a man who managed to secure his throne for decades. There must be something behind this absurd placement."
Cedric nodded, "This is just a hypothesis, but I think the Grand Marshal's troop withdrawal and the deployment of Marquis Wing in the West must have something to do with it. I suspect that there is something the Emperor is looking for there that neither the Grand Marshal nor Marchioness Scarlett should know about, especially if this two people already established a familial relationship through the marriage of the Grand Marshal's younger sister to Marchioness Scarlett's son. And the placement of Marchioness Scarlett in the west has to be done because Marquis Wing will be busy with other things and won't be able to protect the borders to the fullest."
"What is the Emperor looking for huh... To take the risk of abandoning the Northern borders and offending the Grand Marshal and Maxima's naval base, there must be something big that the Emperor is after. If it really does exist though. Military coups are indeed the thing that any leader fears the most, and the Grand Marshal is the most promising person in this country even more than the Emperor himself, if we look at his merits. It is natural for the Emperor to fear and be wary of him. However, for someone who has watched over the Grand Marshal for such a long time, I can assure you that the Grand Marshal even if he die would never rebel. That man has a clearer vision than anyone. As his uncle, the Emperor should understand that."
"Hahaha, what kind of shit are you talking about." Cedric laughed until his stomach cramped. His face was full of pure antics and ridicule. Upon seeing it, Black remembered that let alone his nephew, the Emperor didn't even know his very son at all.
"But, Alexander, isn't it strange for Verdant to withdraw Prince Evigheden from his post? If the Grand Marshal leaves his post and is replaced by an armchair general, wouldn't that be a golden opportunity for them? Even if Marchioness Scarlett was there, the northern snow wolves wouldn't move in the lion's western desert, would they? As great as Marchioness Scarlett was in the North, she couldn't be compared to a Grand Marshal who had been raised in the West and knew his intricacies like his own hands. "
Cedric was silent. His gaze seemed to wander. The thick and lush white eyelashes cast dense shadows in his eyes. The bright blue eyes seemed to glow coldly. "If we can't find out through the Emperor, let's find out through the little Prince. After all, Verdant can't stay quiet for too long. Winter is coming soon, and a country that is two-thirds of its area covered by snow plains must inevitably move to a warmer place to fill the barn."
Black frowned, "You will attract Prince Evigheden? To where?"
"Northern Border. Let's see if the Marchioness will show us a little mercy. If she agrees, I will reopen the Suerius-Walherich dam and help her guard the Northern border for the time being. We must get there before the little Prince arrives."
Black raised his eyebrows, "Are you crazy? You just got married and already want to leave your wife alone in the capital?"