Those words repeated themselves to Theodore tirelessly.
He thought Gabriel would act like Nicolas. Questioning what might have happened, or else he'd be so worried that want to take care of your wounds. Only Gabriel had been simple. He had only chased away the wave of excessive worry and let him go.
He had been slightly saddened, he admitted, by the apparent lack of interest of his classmate. When night had come the MSN chat window had risen, making the blonde omega jump out of bed even in pain.
Sitting in the chair of his study table, he found the name of Gabriel shining on the screen wishing him good night. Quickly the blonde responds to him the greeting, anxiously awaiting his response.
"Gabriel says:
How are you feeling? Does it hurt somewhere?"
Theodore had covered his face with his hands muffling the joyful and euphoric laughter. Peeking between his fingers, he took a deep breath to answer him.
"Theodore says:
It hurts a little in the belly and back, but nothing worrying.
Gabriel says:
I was scared when I saw your bruises
Can I ask what happened or do I have to fake dementia?
Theodore says:
Why do you want to know?
Gabriel says:
I'm worried about my friend, come on."
— Friend? ― Theodore sighs pulling the pillow to his lap, hugging him while looking at the screen of his computer. ― Looks like I got dumped before I confessed.
Forming a beak on his lips, he had returned to typing hastily.
"Theodore says:
I spent the weekend at my dad's house, and this guy kind of hit on me. Anyway... he hit on me.
Gabriel is typing in...
Gabriel says:
Some guy hit on you?"
Theodore had pressed his pillow, pondering whether to tell Gabriel the truth, or just summarize the story by hiding the biggest problems that the weekend had yielded. He was just curious about Gabriel's reaction, seeing as him hadn't seen it in the morning.
"Theodore says:
I don't know what his intent was, but I resisted the advances and that must have pissed the guy off. So this happened...
Gabriel is typing in..."
Watching the screen, Theodore was surprised at Gabriel's delay in answering him. Leaning his chin over the pillow, the blonde had minimized the chat screen to spy the Orkut. He had rolled the screen without getting too caught up in the news, until he found a school community.
Curiosity had won and Theodore turned the topics of the community around.
― What? I thought it was more serious, but it just seems like widespread gossip...
Reading the topic titles, his eyes fell on one that had gained his attention. The Mckenzie family name had always been a gimmick for gossip, that would probably be one more. Yet the damned curiosity led Theodore to click on the title and open the topic to read.
"The party brought Mckenzie!
Fabi's party paid off! I had gone just to drink a little and try to catch some kitten, but I ended up seeing the wheel of Mckenzie having so much fun... I wanted to be together"
Theodore was startled by the sound of the chat, opening the window with Gabriel's name with some anxiety.
"Gabriel says:
I thought of a thousand things to tell you, but none of them seemed enough."
Strangely, Theodore had crossed his arms over the pillow. Then he had returned to typing quickly.
"Theodore says:
Good enough for what?
No need to worry about me, everything is already being solved =)
And soon the pain will pass.
Gabriel says:
I was just worried, that's all."
― What a fool... you needn't worry.
The smile did not leave Theodore's lips, even his poor heart was joyfully racing to know that Gabriel cared about him. What could be happier than knowing that your crush cares about you? Isn't that a sign that you care enough?
That's why Theodore couldn't contain his smile.
But before answering the boy, Theodore had read the community thread again in an attempt to contain his euphoria. He was too happy to be afraid to answer something he shouldn't.
He had no intention of confessing to Gabriel. Being friends was enough for now.
Rolling the topic page, Theodore continued to read about the so-called party. Until a picture was published and the whole world of blonde omega had collapsed.
It didn't blink. It didn't keep scrolling the page. He couldn't look away from that image that seemed to throw his feelings on the floor and step on them.
Theodore knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. He had always known. From the first day of school when he saw the omega girl directing her smiles to the transferred student. Besides being warned by his best friend that it would not be good.
Gabriel's chat screen had suddenly risen, shaking to gain his attention. Swallowing hard, Theodore remembered not having answered his friend. Stretching his fingers over the keyboard, he did not know what to type.
What should he say?
Would you pretend you hadn't seen it? Or ask about the photo?
Leaning back on the chair, Theodore threw his head back staring at the ceiling. He had no right to question Gabriel about his love life. If he were dating Sadie, it would be his problem! He just didn't want to play mean games with him...
"Gabriel says:
Hey! ls it there yet?
Theodore..."
The blond boy had closed his eyes for a moment before re-reading the chat. Sighing heavy, the thin tear trickled down his face. A lonely, silent tear.
Taking a deep breath the boy had then chosen to question.
"Theodore says:
Sorry, I got distracted reading about a party
Gabriel says:
Party?
Theodore says:
They're talking about a party that happened last Friday
In that school community
Gabriel says:
Did you see that?
Theodore says:
...
I didn't know you were dating Sadie
Gabriel says:
I'm not
It was actually a Milles challenge. We were playing truth or dare, and he wanted to challenge me to prove I wasn't gay."
― Oh no... Neither do you, Gabriel.
The blond man shook his head as he wiped his face from the flowing tears. Biting his lower lip, he had typed again.
"Theodore says:
I understand... being my friend hurt your manhood?
Gabriel says:
That's not what I said, Theodore.
It was just a joke from the guys, no big deal.
Theodore says:
Very cool your joke =)
Gabriel says:
Are you mad at me?
Theodore says:
Well, why would I be mad at you? We're friends, and your friends thought because of that you'd be gay too, and then you had to "prove" that I, I don't know, contaminated you?
Didn't know I had some kind of virus that dangerous
Gabriel says:
Theodore, you don't have to be mad about something like this
You know these guys don't think straight
Theodore says:
But I expected you to be different"
Closing the chat, Theodore averted his gaze to the wall of his room trying to contain the tears. His feelings felt like thorns around his heart, hurting him as they pressed and sank.
He had fallen in love with Gabriel, his gentle smile and the words that seemed to go against the world. His classmate was willing to be his independent friend of the unscrupulous rumours about him.
It was wrong of him to let your heart dream of Gabriel's touch and kiss. He allowed himself to dive into those feelings, even though he knew it would never happen.
Leaving MSN and Orkut, Theodore leaned his chin over his palm and elbow on the table, giving time for his sadness to come out. He would let the silent and painful tears run out, to recover later.
― Big brother!
Raising his head immediately, Theodore turns the little girl standing at the door holding a small pot in her tiny hands. The moment she saw the boy crying, Lisa widened her eyes and ran to him throwing herself on his leg.
― Does it hurt a lot big brother?
Leaving the pillow on the bed, Theodore took his sister and sat her on his lap. He had outlined the best smile he could in order to worry the little girl.
― Does Lisa need anything?
The little girl had lowered her head to the little pot she was holding, and then extended to her brother.
― Have ice cream with big brother. Mom left.
― Oh, then we should have ice cream since Mom left.
Even if he smiled and tried to contain his tears, the little girl was not deceived. Lisa stretched her tiny hand on the older man's face touching his tears and wiping them gently. And then, surprisingly, the little girl put her ear to Theodore's chest, hugging him as tight as she could.
― What is it, Lisa?
With a sly beak, the little girl had looked up without coming off her big brother.
― It hurts, right big brother? Lisa heals big brother.
What could he do in front of those bright little eyes and that beak? Theodore had covered his face with his hands hiding the shame and joy that his little sister could provide him.
— That's a low blow, Lisa. ― Murmured Theodore, then lowering his hands to hug his sister stroking her hair ― But thank you, big brother will now be fine. Shall we have ice cream?
― Come on!
Ignoring the computer that had brought sadness to his heart, Theodore stood up with his sister in his lap leaving his room to devote himself to a sweet moment.
In mind he knew very well that he was being cowardly in not facing his sadness. He would solve that at another time.