Is this the mate bond? He had never felt so helpless yet powerful at the same time. He had never felt so scared of losing anything in his life, but he couldn't keep her, it was pure torture on his side. As soon as she starts living with him, she would change him into a completely different person. The fact that seeing her alone brought some feelings he had never planned to have. She was a like a part latched to him that he didn't want, with her problems that will now become his problem if he was with her.
However, even though he couldn't be with her forever, that didn't stop him for having her for just a day, and enjoy the moment of their first meeting. He sent her the dress to see how sexy she would look all dressed up but seeing her in that hoodie, he realized that she was sexy no matter what she put on. She looked so cute and just... breathtaking, she was just divine, a pure masterpiece.
She didn't eat much at lunch, but kendle used that moment to study her. She loved meat, and was obsessed with coffee but hated veggies, typical. She was too petite for his liking, she needed to eat more and increase her weight. He outburst at the table showed she had a temper, matter how calm she looked you should watch yourself, and she also had a sharp mouth.
He had alpha duties to attend to after lunch, if not he would have followed her. He rushed his work and finished earlier than usual. If Kye didn't know his alpha, he would have thought he had something he was looking forward to.
Kendle went to Paige's room to be with her, but she wasn't there. He decided to wait for her by the window while recalling her image in his head. She was so cute, probably seventeen or eighteen. That was the age when humans meet their destined werewolf mate. Silver hair, blue eyes, black hoodie, like a stylized photograph. He loved her her, especially the color, he wanted more than anything to take his hand through it, to feel the strands between hid fingers, and to smell it. He wanted more than to just touch her hair, he wanted to explore her body, to familiarize it with his. Every cell in his body screamed for his mates proximity.
Suddenly he felt uneasy. Like fire ants invaded his chest. He was in so much pain, it was too much to handle. He clutched his chest tightly as he ran like a crazed man, with only o e thought in his head; Paige. He used the pull of the mate bond to find her. He was overwhelmed with the impulse to be by her side.
Kendle had no idea at what point he reached the pool house, he just followed the pull and the pull led him there. By the time he got there, he caught the sight of Paige diving into the pool. All his blood drained from his body and he just froze, his feet was rooted to the floor, his eyes refused to blink, his heart was caught in his throat and only resettled when he saw her upper body emerge from the water.
Paige started to weep. The sound of her wailing filled the room. Today she realized, he didn't care anymore.
And then she realized, he probably never did anyway.
And then she realized the saddest part of it all is that he made her believe he did.
It's not the pain, it's who it comes from.
Her heart is tired, it's exhausted, weak.
Kendle didn't know when he too started to cry. He just felt the hot liquid rolling down his face. He got into the water, spun her around and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her. But it wasn't just a normal hug. No. It was one of those; warm-let-me-cry-on-your-shoulders-for -as-long-as-I- need-to. A hug that can fix your problems and make you feel okay , just for a moment, I just need a hug.
She hates that moment, when her anger turns to tears. "It hurts...it hurts a lot..but I keep it to myself". She said between sobs.
"It's okay to lose your shit sometimes". He comforted her.
"But I keep it all to myself so it won't hurt anyone", Paige said.
"It's okay to be unstable. It's okay hide from the world. It's okay to need help. It's okay not to be okay. Everyone acts like they've got their shit together, but the truth is, it's all pretenses. We are honest with ourselves".
"You don't know pain until you are staring at yourself in the mirror with tears in your eyes, begging yourself to just hold on and be strong".
"Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you, and waiting for everyone to go to fall sleep so you can fall alive, for everything to hurt so bad yo just want it to end. I know exactly how it feels".
Paige raised her head and stared at him in the eyes and that's when she saw it, pain, past hurt. She dabbed her face awkwardly, "you're good at this", she murmured. "At pretending you didn't come across an histerical girl tearing her eyes out in the middle of a pool".
"That was very specific, but... you didn't look histerical. You looked sad and angry. A soul that carries empathy. A soul that has survived enourmous pain".
"Well, am full of ghosts of a the people have lost, so it's to expect". She said, withdrawing from his hold.
"If eyes could show your soul, everyone would cry when they saw you cry. Even strong hearts break".
Paige stared at in disbelief, he says exactly what she's feeling, how she sees things. "Where have you been all my life?" She blurted out. If only she ran into him and not Damon.....Paige thought, that's all they are now 'if onlies'. "I killed my old self but my new self isn't any better".
He moved closer to closer to till there wasn't any space between them. "Tell me darling, who were you before they stole your moon and left you with this dimly lit star". Kendle said, his voice made Paige feel like she was in a daze.
"Once upon a time, I was a nice, sweet, perfectly innocent little girl. Too many people fucked my mind up, and now I'm a heartless, cold, and not a known giver of fucks kinda bitch". She said in one fast dose.
"Then what made you cry?" For some reason she felt compelled to answer his questions. She felt safe. She was in the best place she had ever been in years.
"I had an upsetting phone call".
"Is someone hurt?"
"No one but me, and that's my fault". She stopped, unsure whether to continue. She felt like what she was about to say next would make no sense at all, just to be safe, she asked," have you ever felt that even the ones you think, nah they won't do me like that, who do you like that?"
"Some betrayals really never can be forgiven".
"Exactly!" Paige exclaimed happily. "You really get me, for real".
"And I promise I keep on getting you even if we are out of this water". He said meaningfully.
"Oh, yeah," she finally took notice of her environment. She began to stride out of the water. "You know for a drug lord you're really nice".
He was like this only with her, but she didn't need to know that. "How many drug lords do you know?"
"I don't want to start naming but...." She trailed off.
"Oh, you're are really going to go there." He got out first and brought out his hand to help Paige out but the moment their hands touched, the spark that erupted from it startled Paige. She withdrew her hand quickly and ended up falling back into the water.
"Fuck!" Paige coursed as she wobbled in the water. She helped herself out of the water and made a mental note to ask him about the Sparks. She can't be the only one feeling it or she had finally lost it, Paige laughed at herself inwardly. When you turn you sorrow into comedy and look at it far away it's becomes more bearable.
I just got betrayed by the person I hold dearest in the whole world, she laughed again.
The best mercenary in star city was kidnapped, she also was dumb enough to be in debt, there was a smile on her face as she left the room. She was in a better place now and kendle could feel it, but for how long? He couldn't bear to see her in pain again or worse, have her face it alone and have her diving, no way, he needed to rethink this whole mate thing.....