I drove home Monday noon from Betty's place feeling shattered, shamed and and afflicted beyond the marrow of my bones.
I pulled into my house and cupped the stirring of my wheels with my arms and chest.
"Ah Lord! I do not worry for myself but daddy please, forgive me and have mercy on me for the shame I have caused your name" I prayed silently filling aches in my spirit and soul.
My phone began to ring and I ignored it. It rang for the second time and checking through, it was Pastor Donald calling. I stared at it and dropped the phone, returning back to my formal posture but the call persisted until I could no longer turn off from it.
I answered the call faintly trying my best not to sound afflicted.
"Hello Papa! good afternoon sir?" Pastor Donald said panting in his voice.
"Good after Pastor Donald, how are you doing?" I asked
"Daddy I am fine but my Spirit is bothered."
"What is it pastor Donald. Please speak to me. Is everything alright with you, your family and the ministry?" I asked becoming tensed
"Ah, daddy, my wife slept this after and had a terrible vision of you falling into a ditch. She narrated it to me and we started praying for you when sister Ogechi called that she dreamed of you being fed by mud beside a river by unknown hands. We intensified prayer and it became a serious burden as we prayed on for you. We just rounded up praying and I decided to call to know if you are in sound health."
"This is serious!" I remarked in response knowing fully, the details of what the visions were all about.
It was so intriguing that none close to me except my spiritual parents had come to the knowledge of what I was going through.
I couldn't fathom it myself.
"This is what happens to us the frontiers. There are many bullets we are receiving without those following us knowing. This is because they only see our backs and not our front. Behind the back, we are well polished and gallantly appeared, but our chests have been hit by swords, bullets, knives and missiles. May God help every of his minister out there." This words flashed through my heart and I heard them well within the twinkling of a second
"Pastor Donald!" I called to him almost breaking down in tears over the phone. I wanted to break the news to him but I held myself back from doing so.
"Thank you for praying for me. I am so blessed having you and your wife as well as the entire ministry in my life. It is an opportunity I won't take for granted. Please continue to pray for me. This hour is crucial." I told him
From my voice, he could depict that all was not okay with me. He wanted to push further but I believe he thought it wise to make some findings in person, the time for which I didn't know.
"Papa, will you be in church for the workforce prayer meeting?" He asked me
I paused for a while, swiftly searching for the best answer. If I should be in church, certainly my countenance would weigh down that of others no matter how I would try to adjust it. This would then raise questions on the heart of many, creating a lukewarm spirit among the brethren. The best is for me at the hour to be absent in the meeting and try sorting out myself.
"I won't be around today pastor Donald for some important reasons, I answered him."
"Papa, you have never missed the workforce prayer meeting before. The issue must be important." He said worriedly.
"I assure you it is well Pastor Donald, meanwhile I will be booking a meeting with you on the later. Take care and bye for now."
I said this so that it could mandate me to at least begin the journey of opening up for me in order to pave a nice path when I shall appear before the elders of the church.
I ended the call regrettably. why? The effects of my sins were now taking me away from my calling and ministry.
Since the coming of Betty into my life, there has been a broadened distance between me and my calling on a daily basis.
My prayer altar was no longer having the usual fire. My absence in church had become worrisome to my members
I was now spending the largest part of my time supposed to invest into the calling of God upon my life to thinking of how I was going to come out of the mess I had encountered with Betty.
Once again, I regretted the day I mate Betty.
I stepped out of my car weak and dejected.
Entering the house, I felt terrible. I went into the bedroom and dropped on the bed.
Just then, the thought of Abigail floated into my mind so strong.
I thought of calling her but I decamped the thought on the consideration that I didn't wanted to appear emotional before her.
I tried resisting the move but finally I couldn't tell when I dialed her number.
Hearing her voice would for sure make me calm and hopeful.
I called her and blessed enough, she responded on time.
"Hello, Abigail."
"Hello Papa, good evening sir" She responded
We spoke for some few minutes though only on elementary things. I cleaned my throat and ensured that I sounded well on the phone. Finally we ended the call.
I couldn't really fathom if Abigail had noticed my attachment towards her but I didn't think it so as she felt so free with me wishing that such sexual attachment would never be between us considering our portfolios.
After my call with her, I felt so blessed and better. It was obvious I couldn't deny it that Abigail had gained the throne of my heart.
The Lord had told me to plug out the eye, Betty. But how I was going to do it was the big question. I was trying my best and asking for his help. If not for the pregnancy, my relationship with Betty would have been long dissolved but the pregnancy had held me as a trap. There was nothing I would do than to accept marrying her unless God intervened.
That intervention was what I yearned and panted for with all of my heart.
"Ok, this pregnancy is what is trapping me. Oh no, what if truly Betty knowing fully well that this is the only means to trap me is using this to hold me to herself?" This question stroke my heart and for the first time I could see into what my spiritual father had suggested.
Like water gushing from its falls, i reached for my phone and dialed Betty's number.
"First thing Wednesday, meet me at Okadric junction. I will pick you from there."
"Why not the house?"
"I don't want you to near my house. I will pick you at Okadric junction." I thundered and silent the call.
I turned to Dr Mike's number and dialed it.
"Hello doctor, please our appointment on Wednesday as I informed you two hours earlier is very important. Please ensure you are around." I pleaded
"No problem Apostle sir. Everything is set for the pregnancy test to be carried out sophisticatedly to avoid error. Whatever we are given you is genuine."
"Fake! did you just say fake?" I questioned him.
"No sir!" I said genuine test result.
"Well, maybe it was a slip of tongue, because I heard fake. God bless you Dr." I said and ended the call.
My mind was now convinced that Betty was faking her pregnancy. I became more optimistic that the result would come up negative trusting on the reliability of where we were going for the lab test.
"But what if she is truly pregnant?" Another thought registered on my mind and I began to do a plan B, should this be the case.
As I was thinking, I fell asleep. I'm my sleep, I saw my angel sitting beside my bed with his face turned to the wall. He began to tell me the story of the Israelites;
"When the Lord brought His people out of the land of captivity, he would have led them through the easy path, but he took them through the wilderness so as to train them for war. David! The battle ahead is fierce and the Lord is training your hands to war." He rounded and was out of aight.
I woke up and sat on bed enumerating on the dream; "David! The Lord is training your hands to war." I repeated this words to myself and tried to gain understanding.
None the less, this visitation meant a lot to me as I became fully aware that I was not alone.
As slow as a snail, the long awaited Wednesday arrived and I droved some minutes earlier to wait on Betty where I was to pick her.
She joined me in and we drove to Dr. Mike's medical laboratory and diagnostic center.
We arrived and he was happy to have us around, we greeted and he took me to his personal office to avoid me raising questions from those who may have known me.
I sat in his office waiting while a lady took Betty into a separate room.
I waited for some few minutes and Betty returned with the lady.
"Please hold on a bit sir for the print out of the result. "
"Oh, that's fine." I said with eagerness
I was glaring my eyes left and right while waiting for the result.
"Sir, the result is ready and here it is." A voice said behind me and turning, it was the same lady. She handed me a brown file and I said goodbye to Dr. Mike, then moved out with Betty.
We drove some distance away and I pulled by the road side, brought out the test result and it was verified that Betty was two months and three weeks pregnant.
"I think now you are satisfied. I don't know why you believed that I could lie to you." Betty said
"You are pregnant that's fine. we will talk on phone."
I handed her some cash and asked her to come out of the car. She unwillingly came out of the car and I drove off promising that we would speak on phone.
"Sometimes we wonder why we go through somethings - it is confusing and bothering, but no matter how we try, we may never get it right until the end of the matter before we are able to see what God was working out which we never knew." I heard this words spoken in my heart as I drove on