"Unfortunately for you, that is where that ends." 'it' says, however as he says all reality is as if it were paused. "What?" I say. Funky ass dream. "It's not a dream. Rather, a vision of a past only your body knows."
"So, why am I knowing it now?"
"A severe excess of a particular material agent - that we now call Vril after past occult or fiction works in the 20th century - had blown your mind apart and mended it back together, at least last time. This time, we seek to inform you the path you are taking will lead to ruin. The true path is left. You won't remember all this but we demand you know of paths, you have a path."
"Wait, don't care to explain more?"
"Nope." I imagine myself flamboyantly snapping my fingers before I rise back to the surface, violently. As if I crashed I feel some sort of pressure as I am forced by some sort of gravitational pull to sit up. Ren is still there and is somewhat startled.
"Something I do wrong?"
"No, nothing." I think to myself a bit about my dream, I definitely remembered way more than I thought. "Well, before you woke up I am pretty sure I got done so I'll be on my way then." Ren says after I spaced off for a bit. "Alright." I respond and he leaves. I am reminded of this 'path' - would staying with these Hospitallers be a bad idea then? Though, Armel seemed to be one - given it's known by my 'body' does that mean he is like… did my heroin personify? No… definitely not something as dumb as that. Maybe like an ancestor or something. Maybe the answer to the right path would be in those memories? In any case, as I am healed I can return to training again though maybe I should just leave this place.
Upon some deliberation, I decided this all is enough for me. In a lot of ways, this is it's own comfort and that much is good enough. The decisions of dreams do not matter. I'm my own man, aren't I? So, to finalize this I decide to request permission to be a proper disciple of Paxton. I'd be fine with the order but I can't really convince myself to be forgiven or anything. What would I need to be forgiven for anyway? I've done nothing wrong.
That night I went to train with Paxton and the others, our "curriculum" could be said to primarily consist of weapons training - primarily firearms but also closer and more personal weapons like knives but also swords, axes and what not which are much easier to put Vril into compared to guns as well as Judo esque takedowns, some principles of striking and submissions. Though of course, ideally we'd kill. "Maiming a Vampire can often end up with you discovering some heal way faster than you!" he said during that practice. I can feel it in the air, soon the Hospitallers are going to war.
After training I stayed behind, but so did a few others who wanted to ask questions to improve their technique. I stayed longer than them because I felt mine was the most time consuming and I wouldn't want to get even worse relations with potential comrades. Such a thought hit me, I haven't felt so unclouded in some time. I remember earlier when I would still get cold sweats and think constantly by escaping but perhaps thanks to the clearing of my body I was not mad enough to just run into the desert trying to get back to such a pathetic existence.
"What is it Uzi?" Paxton asked for me, evidently I drove off in my mind. "Uh, yes. Paxton, I would like to become one of your disciples." in response he rubbed his chin and paced a bit "Yeah, sure. Ready to get into combat?" I didn't answer immediately because I was a bit shocked by how quick he accepted it. "Uh, no maybe not but I would like to be." I said, kind of embarrassed. "You'll be fine, I can send you with a few of the more experienced men." he snapped his fingers really quick after a few seconds "Oh yeah, Keaton and Ren will be on the same team you'll go with them. Now, see ya and good luck Uzi." he waved to be with that last bit and walked away. I should have asked when we were actually going to 'combat'.
I decided to look around outdoors. The darkness around the Ranch was mesmerizing, I could see shadows dancing around out there in the wild. I wondered if I actually saw anything or if my eyes were just messing with me. I was kind of excited for what was coming, like I can see myself being fulfilled. I thought I was fine before and what nothing really mattered but living life to it's fullest at least in the sense of having fun or just being on heroin. It was a miserable moment, wasn't? I wonder how many years it had been since I left home. Maybe not even one? I think three though, if I am remembering my years right. I should have graduated 3 years before now. Enough reflection, I must steel myself.
Heading back to my sleeping area in the manor with the others, I run into Ren. "Oh, Uziel. I heard you will be with us?"
"That's right, by the way when are we going?"
"We will be heading to our positions just before the night so that we can catch any movement in and out of the areas we suspect important resources are kept or moved from."
"Thanks. By the way, what gear would I bring and all that?"
"I'll just show you before we go."
"Alright, thanks Ren."
"No problem." he walks off and I just continue to bed. The next day will be long.
Once I dose off the bed, I start dreaming of the desert and Armel and of some city, dressed in Saracen rags. I recognize the place as Damascus. For some reason the pathing of this dream is not linear. Cutting back between here, the long desert, I have also been naked and chained, beaten, comforted by a mysterious master. The shining of blades crosses my mind until I am hit in the neck which jolts me awake. I notice the light is coming up so at least I got a decent amount of sleep. It was that day.
When I got up, I was pretty much moved to helping with preparations. Ren showed me their little miniature armory. We certainly don't go in with a whole lot, one might think we should but I guess we don't have that much money to afford more than pistols, a few rifles and old weapons. Paxton encounters me armed with a pistol and a dagger but hands me a katana "I think this'll befit you."
"Why? I've never even used this before."
"It's a left over. Plus, you're shit with guns. Having a dagger as your only effective weapon will limit you if you're trapped."
"Oh... well thanks." kind of a concerning thought. Why would we get trapped? Are there a lot?
Around 5 pm we were finished with everything, had dinner, made sure our gear was up to standard and now we were just waiting to roll out at Master MacMahon. I am in the 2nd team under Marshal Keaton with Ren naturally but five others I hadn't talked to much beyond training; Derek a big guy who was a really good wrestler and surprisingly quick on his feet for striking he seemed to be a good rifleman, a man named Florian who was actually brought over from the Church apparently and was part of the Swiss guard and seems quite skilled with guns but prefers a halberd, Adrian another man straight from the Church was another rifleman who was a good striker, Marcos - a local man - he wasn't that great as far as I could tell probably in the same boat as me and this Japanese guy who just introduced himself as Joseph who like me will be a swordsman who I haven't trained with at all.
The 1st team is headed by Master MacMahon, despite his age his men seem to respect him but I have never seen him in practice. He apparently trains with Paxton individually a lot though. The 3rd with Paxton, the 4th and 5th groups are primarily made up of Hospitallers and the 6th group is made up entire of Paxton's men under a chick whose name I still don't really know.
I was surprised by how many people we had, there weren't so many in training I don't think. Maybe some people only got here today? I must be pretty nervous to not have noticed though.