"Who are you and why did you break into the Underworld?!", Lucifer shouted at me before I could explain the situation.
"Seriously asshole, how about you shut up and let me talk.", I remarked with an irritated tone, "I don't have the patience to deal with idiots. If you had been listening, I said I would explain the situation!"
Taken aback by my tone for a moment, the Devil King quickly recovered and continued to press my buttons. Demanding I pay compensation for disrupting their peace talks and for causing the locals to panic, I asked him if he was done flapping his gums. Watching his face twitch several times from my comment, his civility vanished as his true nature rose to the surface.
"You insolent little cretin!", he hissed, "Do they not have manners where you come from?!"
"Oh we do…but they are reserved for nice people.", I chuckled as I cracked my knuckles, "Another word out of you, and I will send you to Jesus. I happen to have several items in my Pocket Dimension that are highly effective against Demonic Beings of your caliber. Why don't I show you the weaker of the bunch."
"I doubt that. Just because you killed some mildly powerful individuals doesn't make you a threat to us!", he boasted clearly not sensing the gap between us, "Anything you have wouldn't even tickle me!"
Since common sense had clearly not been invented when he was born, I decided to educate him. Reaching into my Pocket Dimension for a Bible I had been given by my grandmother, the Biblical God and Azazel were surprised to see I had one as I pulled it out. Seeing the book in my hand, Lucifer started laughing at me saying something like that wasn't effective at all against him.
"Is that so?", I laughed in a playful tone, "You may want to reevaluate that after this."
"After what-", Lucifer started to ask before I cut him off.
"READ MOTHERFUCKER, READ!!", I shouted hitting his face with the Bible.
In an instant, his head turned to red mist which began covering everyone from his group. Standing there in shock, the other three Devil Kings watched his lifeless body collapse to the ground and begin to twitch. Looking back at me as I wiped my Bible off, I inquired if they needed a reeducation. Shaking their heads rapidly, none of them dared to take their chances with me. Placing the book back in my Pocket Dimension, Azazel fell to the ground laughing his ass off at what had just occurred while God tried his best not to laugh.
"Lilith, it isn't my place to say this but you need to leave this son of a bitch. His arrogance is going to doom all of you, don't be an idiot.", I told her as I cleaned everyone off with a snap of my fingers, "If you don't leave, you will watch as all you built with him crumbles at your feet. I can tell you with absolute certainty…your future is grim if you stay with him."
Looking at me with a confused look, I reached out to her telepathically.
"If you wish for your race to survive, you must stop him from driving you off a cliff. Almost half of your remaining children don't want to continue this war. They are only going along with it because of you four, but their allegiance to you is wearing thin. Over half of your pillars are extinct…are you going to let him continue to ruin everything for his stupid ego?", I stated with a stern tone, "I don't need magic to tell you that your body is falling apart because of him. Stop being his soldier factory, and start making your own decisions. You may be a Devil, but no one deserves this punishment."
Giving me a wide-eyed expression for a moment, she quickly calmed herself down before replying.
"Thank you for your advice, but I choose to follow the man I love.", she answered.
"We both know you don't love him, you love the power he gives you.", I remarked with a sad expression, "You have no idea what awaits you in the future, don't say I didn't warn you. I won't save you when the time comes…"
Seeing the reaction I gave her as I said that, something in her must of clicked. Watching her face go from confused to apprehensive, she inquired what was going to happen to the Devils and her. Severing the connection, instead of answering her question, I turned my attention to Azazel and God. Giving them a second to collect themselves once they were ready, I told them my reason for being here.
"The man I was fighting is a Higher Being that I had a personal grudge with, he was partially responsible for destroying five worlds along with crippling a sixth. As I was trying to say a moment ago, my apologies for breaking into your world…it was not my intention to come here.", I apologized to both of them, "Now then, I should return to the world I was in now."
Snapping my fingers, I resurrected Lucifer as a courtesy before turning to leave. Deciding that Lilith or someone else could tell him what I said for me, I was about to leave when someone called out from the crowd asking me to wait. Looking back to see who it was, Yasaka pushed her way to the front and grabbed my hand. Still as drop dead beautiful as I remembered, my gut instinct was to lay on the charm since she was single at the moment. Recalling that Eri was in tears when we parted nearly thirty minutes ago, my children's happiness came before seducing a woman.
"Please wait, can you please help us?", she pleaded with her tails drooping low, "The ongoing war has decimated my faction even though we are innocent bystanders. We are one hundred percent against this war and have remained neutral through this nightmare. Every day we are caught in the crossfire of a battle, killed off as collateral damage, or dragged off to be experimented on. Just this morning three of my best friends were taken while scavenging around for food!!"
Recalling how bad the smaller factions had it, I knew she had to be very desperate at the moment. Knowing that the Shinto Gods were pretty lazy, from what I recalled, the Youkai were basically being bled dry by them and getting nothing in return. If the Great War didn't stop soon, like it was supposed to, her faction and many others would become ancient history.
"What are you asking of me?", I inquired feinting ignorance, "You do realize I am an Outsider in your world, and have no reason to help you. Why should I give this world a passing thought?"
"We need your protection!", she told me honestly as she pressed her head into the dirt, "Our people don't have much left to give, but I…I will offer my body to you for your aid!"
Glancing over to the Shinto Representative, I could see him eyeing Yasaka like an A5 Wagyu Steak. Having told me this in front of everyone now, if I said no, the Youkai's protection price would skyrocket causing them to have to hand women like her over as a peace offering or lose their protection. Not wanting to see an ugly fat bastard end up with women like her, I decided to involve myself in this world's affairs.
"Your dedication to your people has moved me, very few foreign nobles I have met would go so far for their people.", I told her as she lifted her head, "I will give you my aide, but I refuse to allow you to pay me with your body. Your body should be reserved for whoever wins your heart, don't ever let me hear you offer it up again. That said, for my services, I expect to be paid in 5 Jugs of Sake a month."
"Only five jugs?", she asked in shock, "Surely your services are worth more than-"
"Respectfully, I have the ability to make or take whatever I want.", I laughed with a smile, "The jugs are more of a formality than anything else…and several of my wives happen to like Sake. Will you accept these terms?"
"Absolutely!", she said without hesitation as we shook hands.
Helping her back to her feet, I cleaned her off with a snap of my fingers and gave her a modified smartphone so she could reach me. Show her how to call me whenever she needed help, Yasaka looked at the device with a fascinated expression. Encouraging her to explore the device as time allowed, I decided to give her a parting gift.
"To show that this arrangement has been made, I bestow upon you a small fraction of my power.", I said while trying not to grin, 'I sound like some cheesy deity right now!'
Placing my right index finger on her forehead, I used the Beasts Power to quintuple her magical and spiritual powers while also giving her the ability to wield Purgatory Fire. As a result of this newfound power, several floating orbs of Fox and Purgatory fires began encircling her tails like satellites.
Sensing the newfound power she had as well, many of the other factions present began to panic. She had gone from a negligible threat to them to on par with an Upper Satan Class Devil making her a very real threat to many of them. Even though she was one person, she had an immensely powerful, otherworldly ally backing her up that could potentially create more powerhouses with just a touch. At that moment, the Youkai Faction's position on the international stage had skyrocketed to nearly the same level as the Big Three Factions.
"Now then…", I said turning to the Devils, "I suggest you tell your son Rizevim to hand over the Youkai he's been taking. Only one Devil has the balls to pull a stunt like that on the day a ceasefire is being discussed and that is him. Either have them returned by the end of the negotiations or I will get them myself. If I have to get them…I will kill every Noble Devil that gets in my way, are we clear?"