He saw the look she gave, it was pure disgust in her eyes and it kept on replaying in his head disturbing his fucking peace. He shouldn't have cared what she thought, shouldn't have given a damn after all he was a selfish man who did what he wanted when he wanted without caring for anybody else.
But hell he cared, and that was what bothered him the most. If she was like the other women he had come across, he wouldn't have minded but she was different too different. He finally reached a point where he became completely drunk and out of his mind, he threw his glass over to the wall were it broke and shattered into a thousand pieces as he watched the remaining content spill on his expensive floors.
He groggily stood up and led himself out of his study down the stairs and into his painting room. It was dark and dusty as it was a long time since he or anyone came down there, he had not painted anyone else after her and he liked to keep it that way. There wasn't even a candle burning in the room but he still managed to find his way to the center of the room were his last work was put on display, the canvas was neatly covered with a clean white clothe to keep it from getting dirty, so much effort he thought.
He pulled they clothe off the canvas to stare at the painting. To stare at her, the painting was done two years ago but time did nothing to hinder its beauty or diminish it quality, it was still breath taking, she was still breath taking, but all he could feel after looking at her was hate and disgust, yet he couldn't get rid of the painting. He couldn't get rid of her thoughts and most of all he couldn't get rid of his feeling for her; he would always be consumed by hatred for her.
...…
Madison cried herself to sleep the previous night. She felt desperate and frustrate and most of all hesitant. She simply lay on her bed all morning refusing to come down for breakfast or to even freshen up; she was sure that if she didn't see Ronnie by the end of the week she would have aged into a wall flower.
She heard a knock on her door and groaned not wanting to see anyone except Ronnie "go away" she barked hoping that whoever the person was he or she will retreat and she was glad when she didn't hear any more noise but that was short lived as the person continued banging on the door now with full force. Pulling the sheets off her head she stood up with murder in her eyes ready to deliver a bashing insult to whoever it was, but upon opening the door she saw mademoiselle hands hanging up in the air.
She quietly moved aside not saying a word as mademoiselle found her way in, she casually settled down on her bed and patted the space beside her, not saying a word she obliged and followed suit. "Jen told me what happened" she squeezed the sheet in her palms feeling her knuckles turn white, it was suppose to be a secrete between the both of them "she only meant well" mademoiselle continued seeing her expression "she was worried and nervous and I force her to spill it out"
"I suppose this is when you stare me down and tell me what a fool I am" she said looking down, not wanting to see the disappointment in her face, she felt embarrassed for her state but she never regretted, even once falling in love with him.
Time ticked by slowly as they both sat down there quietly, sighting heavily she looked up to see that mademoiselle wasn't looking at her but she was gazing sadly at the window "you are not a fool Madison" her eyes snapped to look at her and what Madison saw broke her heart, her eyes looked like two pools of sorrow. "You can't ever be a fool" a drop of tear rolled down her cheeks and she didn't bother to clean it.
"You know there was once a time when I was young, beautiful, Full of spirit and in love" she swallowed the lump of tears in her throat after saying the last word. "I knew it wasn't meant to be, he was a duke and I was just a missus, his family had arranged a marriage for him but he didn't agree, he fought for us back then but I had given up all hope."
"I knew it was impossible for us to be together but I secretly held on to that small piece of anticipation that maybe, it might be. But his parents threaten him with his inheritance, and I guess I was all that it took for him to leave me but I didn't blame him. I never got married after that because I couldn't never get over him" "first I thought with time it will go, they feeling will fade but it never did he was my one true love and it forever remained so until his last breath". She released a shaking breath grasping hold of both Madison's hand.
"Times are different and in as much your family won't agree I urge you to go after him" Madison could not believe her ears, was this mademoiselle saying all this? "I always wanted you to be happy and that is why I thought it will be best if you married someone above not below your ranks and satus but I also know that this pain won't go away any time soon, in fact it will continue to consume you whole, it may be different for the both of you dear so I want you to do what your heart tell you, I will always support you."
........
Madison sat on her dresser playing with a loose strand of her hair. It had been two weeks since that night and she had followed mademoiselle advice and had written to Ronnie, she knew it will take some time for it to reach him but she could wait, after all she wasn't in a rush and in the meantime she will look for other things to do.
Few men had visited calling on her but she had told mademoiselle to kindly send them away claiming she wasn't of good health and with time they had stop all together, more invitations to balls had reached their door step but she had one story or the other when it was time for attendance. In all honesty she preferred staying in the house all day than going out but today she felt rather happy and had decided that stepping out of the house for a little while couldn't hurt anyone, and when she told mademoiselle and Jen they were both extremely delighted.
She took one last look at herself, tucking the stray strand behind her ears and straightening her gown, she carefully walked down the stairs afraid not to trip from her long gown. She and mademoiselle had gone together as Jen left earlier with a so called Stephen.
After her arriving to the ball Madison couldn't help but feel weird, she had noticed a few stare when she entered but had brushed it off as nothing, but now that she stood alone in the dance floor as nobody had asked her for a dance she felt quite strange. It was new to her because after he debut men were always falling on their knees for her. there was no party she was invited to that she didn't dance all through the night, she had a charming way of putting the men at ease which made most of them declared their undying love for her but she never took it serious.
So now that not even a single soul had asked her for a dance or even approach her for a nice chat she felt a bit awkward she noticed the smiles and smirks young ladies which she was acquainted to before kept giving her as they passed her way but she decided not to think too much of it.
AUTHOR NOTE:check out latest chapters at Only you:always and forever.
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