I just turned normal I ate up my feelings again it was like poison and it felt very I can't just describe that feeling but it is there.
I restarted evrything I talked as if nothing happened yesterday ,solo apologized to me for yesterday I was touched no one ever apologized to me till now. I gave him a hug and said it was not his fault . Well Adam didn't and I also didn't push the thing but I deserved it but yet reality is the same.
I had a workshop so I took the last 3 periods off and went.
It was getting slow and slow for me my surroundings getting blur to all my sense and the burn that took hold of my heart it took a powerful push to stop an outbursts from spilling out .
It was like acid burning yet unfelt.
Over a few days I somehow I got used to it but yet something was lost .
2
I went for my shoots and fortunately it was a sad scene and I could let out all my frustrations and everything properly and it was so genuine that it was accepted in first take only .But I didnt share that with the people around .
My feelings were numb and everything else was just as unfelt than it should be .
My love ,pride ,smile and everything that made me , me was gone i was beyond myself . my character was stripped and bare like a new canvas and i was gonna paint two colours on it .