XANDER'S P.O.V
Self-pity, embarrassment and shame override his entire being. What the fuck is wrong with him, his nature? How the fuck did he not know? How the fuck did he not sense it? Why did his body betray him? He literally took suppressants not so long ago, why is this happening now to him? He prayed the Earth have pity on him and swallow him whole.
It is his body, how could he not detect the changes. He has never willingly been intimate with someone before Noah. Perhaps that is why he naturally thought the increase in his sex drive was due to the raging endorphins spurring his hormones. Common he should have known better, he should have been able to treat every changes in his own body as they come. For goodness sake he is the damned doctor. How foolish he has been indulging his uncontrollable, irresponsible, drugged part of him. His been so foolish thinking his being safe, in reality he has been living as if there are no real consequences to his nature.
Okay, breathe Xander. So what, Noah and his mother knows of his nature. He can live with it. He took the suppressants pills three days ago and the signs are supposed to remain dormant for at least seven days, unless. Agh. He is an honest to Godd idiot. He has been with an alpha the entire week including an additional two days with an alpha who happens to be his fated mate. Therefore his body must have naturally responded to his alpha pheromones.
Oh shit. He knows (he internally whines). Now he knows how disgusting he is. What if he brushes him one side just like how omegas are generally mistreated. Will he think the incidents leading to him even being at Moon University was his own doing? Will he even fathom the thought whatever happened to him was well deserved because of his nature? His own mother insinuated it the day she arrived and she witnessed the bruises on his body. He cast aside his dreams, he became closed off until the day he received a phone call accepting the offer for a full scholarship. He felt very privileged to that he can leave his childhood home and try to forget the unforgettable painful memories.
Wait. Did the idiot just mention Toby? At this very moment he knock on the door he mentions the name of another omega. During his well-deserved hysteria Noah dares utter the name of one of his best friends fated! To hell with the fact they are friends in this moment Xander feels like his being driven over the edge. Not to be dramatic but his entire world was falling apart. But no Noah want to mention Toby his 'friend' not caring about the way he would feel. His shield and walls, everything in his life right now was either coming back or crumbling to dust. He mentions Toby. Toby? What the hell does Toby have to do with this? His nature is just revealing itself, it has nothing to do with that perfect omega. Damn, never has he ever despised Toby more than he did today.
Hell. Ending this thing between them, this. Whatever this is would be better than to mention another's name, especially when his upset. Leo's jealousy was totally justifiable now that he is going through the same situation. Perhaps it is just his irrational insecurities fucking him over? Fuming anger accompanied him out of the bathroom but instead of the fury he expected, instead tears escaped. There was just so much going the world refuse to just stop and give him time to breath. Blow after blow, he is tired. He has been tired for so long, he just wanted to be in a ditch somewhere and die. His gone on long enough and it is so hard existing. He cannot breath, his numb, his faint headed. Yes, his hyperventilating now and not being able to breathe hurts. Gabbing his asthma pump, he gulped a lung full.
He is not just having a bad day, he is having a bad life. Heavens angels know he must be the worst sight in this world and existing universes. His so tired. Parker got his number, literally the past does not allow him the bliss of forgetting. His tired, face must be red and depressing to look at. His tired. His father left them and he lived his entire childhood questioning if it was because of him. His tired is tired and his eyes must be puffy. His exhausted. His mother has abandoned him again by giving his tormentor his number and she cut him off financially. He has been abandoned by his mother again and again, it just made him numb. He is somehow beyond broken. No, he is whatever that is below broken. His Armour that has been protecting him for years, now the pieces lay scattered around the room. There is no way a perfect alpha or man would choose to deal with this much brokenness. So, in conclusion this is how it ends. This is the end of their love story, the end of XanderNoah and it even hurt thinking about it.
"Baby..."
"DO NOT TOUCH ME. Just say it I can take it."
He expects Noah to walk out faster than his father did in his life.
"Say what?"
"I don't know. You leaving me for someone like Toby. I deserve my luck."
His tired. Why is this man still here?
"What are you talking about??"
"I don't know anymore. I have worked so hard to hide my nature. I worked on being so invisible, I am literally on the background. Unlike other packs in mine, omega means weakness."
"Xander..."
He interrupts whatever the man wanted to say. Xander felt so numb he did not care anymore, about anything.
"I am a Rouge. I ran away from my previous pack like a coward. I ran away from my birth pack because of what has been haunting me. I wanted to forget it all but this disease I have never wish me to live down. Every second, minute, the touch. I did not deserve what happened to me... Dammit. It was not my fault. I know the hierarchy situations in packs but no alpha have the right to treat anyone below him... or her like that."
This time slow motionless tears flooded his rational mind. Parker was going for the win. Soon emotions of his torture, will be called mating blues and swept under the carpet. How is this fair? How is nothing fair?
"What? Xander just tell me what is bothering you and as your alpha, give me a chance to assist you."
"I do not like how weak I am. At least before my weakness wasn't because of the fact I am omega, now it is and I hate it. I hate I got mad when you mentioned Toby. Although what scared me more than the thought of losing you was the message my mom sent me."
He paused and faced the black television before he started once more.
"I can survive on my own but I believe in science so I have to be realistic. I applied to Moon University, managing to bag a scholarship to study medicine. I wanted to pay her back for everything and not feel obligated to set foot into that broken home again. She said Parker would like to marry an omega like me. As if it is a privilege for me to end up with that monster that broke me. She wants me to visit more and she thinks suffering will make me do so. I will have to make use the suppressants your mom gave me and figure everything out from there. I escaped from that life once and I refuse to go back there again. I simply refuse. I will not."
"Xander!"
His voice boomed, distracting his disinterested self-pity. His frantic wolf just sat like a good boy, their attention directed to the alpha. They did not panic or fear the man wiping his tears away with a warm damp towel.
"You will not be obligated to marry anyone. You are my fated, my gift. To touch you they will have to go through me first. No one will claim you but me. Do you understand? (Xander nods) You are not alone whatever you need ask and it is yours. I am your Alpha I want to take care of you. Not because I think you cannot take care of yourself, cause I know you can. It is just my duty to make sure to catch you before you fall. You have a pack now. Our pack. You are not alone anymore, lean on me and give yourself time to relax."
Shit why is Xander attracted to this side if Noah. Maybe it was his omega hormones speaking. He does find himself oddly attracted to this dominant, possessive side of Noah. Sensing his willingness he felt the larger man engulf and feast on his body as it was his last meal.
.
.
.
NOAH'S P.O.V
"Move in with me and I will respect your wishes and not book sessions for you to speak to mom (his mother is a therapist)."
"Noah. I do not want to make my problems yours."
"Be my mate. Then 'your' problems will be our problems."
He did not want to scare his Xander away but now to prove to him he can depend on him, he went all in.
"Fuck. That sounds hot. But no. I would never bond with you, just to roll in with baggage."
"As my mate you will be inclined to trust me with your 'baggage'."
"Um. Can I move in with you? I promise it will be temporary. Mmm. I can cook, clean and do laundry. I will start taking my suppressants once more to avoid my heats and keep my status unknown."
"I agree with everything but heats usually last for a week, why not give me those."
"My nature, my body, my rules. Let me tell Lucas and Leo first."
"I love you, I just want you close to me. At least with this merge my kitchen will not be deemed depressing, besides that ass is mine."
They laughed and Xander playfully punched him, imaging their perfect future with children. He knows he is thinking ahead of time but he couldn't help it, his alpha is just one of the kind.
"You know. I hated all alphas and if it was not for Lucas, my hatred would have been a cancer, in turn destroying me. Then later I fall for an alpha, many would say it was fate's plan but I calls it destiny. I cannot find it in me to despise all alphas but sometimes it is hard you know, to face and tolerate them. I cannot believe I fell in love with one after everything. Thank you."
"I love you my little mate. Now sleep we finishing the drive home tomorrow."
Mate. Yes Xander is going to make him his alpha mate.