I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I could feel something creeping up and down my body. No—It wasn't something—It was somethings.
I shrieked and looked down in a panicked attempt to see what was fondling me so confidently, only to realize that I couldn't see anything. To be more specific, I was stuck in some sort of infinite blackness. 'Darkness' wasn't enough to describe just how devoid of light this space was.
When I say I could see 'nothing', I could quite literally see nothing. I couldn't see my own nose, hands, any part of my body.
The terror finally kicked in. Somehow a very feminine yelp came out of my body. Obviously that couldn't have been possible with my very masculine and testosterone filled body. I swear some sort of banshee possessed me.
It took me a bit of time to come to my senses. Well, maybe it did. I'm not exactly sure. I was currently having some trouble trying to figure out how fast time was passing in this blackness.
The somethings having their way with my body kept giving me slight pinches, as though I was a victim of some serial acupuncturist. It honestly really fucking hurt. It would be an understatement to say it really fucking hurt.
The 'slight' pinches on my body were more akin to bus-sized crab pincers digging into my flesh. It hurt to the point where I didn't even have the energy to scream. I just sorta—gave up. I was like a newborn fawn caught by a brown bear. The prey who had accepted its fate.
I scratched my head in disbelief. Well, metaphorically of course. My arms were in no position to move as of yet. It just felt like it was necessary.
Right about now there should be a very young-looking 1000 year old goddess coming to greet me. At least that was how it went in all those isekai.
She should be here offering me a chance at a new life, naturally spawning in with my own harem and OP ability. The sole condition being able to defeat the demon king.
I waited. And I kept waiting. I waited a little while longer until I was forced to throw away that idea.
'Perhaps I'm in hell.'
It was certainly possible. The words 'eternal damnation and suffering' felt extremely real to me right now.
It suddenly occurred to me that four out of my five senses was extremely sharp at the moment. I could smell the hot pocket I had for dinner two nights ago coming out of the hole in my stomach.
I could feel the pain of the serial acupuncturist digging his way into my body way more than necessary. The sounds of my guts being flipped around and yanked at rang violently into my ear. The taste of the roof of my mouth and teeth were both extremely overbearing.
For some reason, although I could feel this unfathomable pain all over my body, my body wasn't making me react uncontrollably. It was like holding your hand onto a hot stove and not being forced to take it off. Of course it still hurt, but there was no instinctual drive to pull it away.
Apart from being in extreme pain, I was also bored out of my mind. Forcing myself to feel the pain of each and every nerve across my body screaming at me, I finally managed to stand up and look around.
Nope—still seem to be stuck in the infinite blackness. 'What a bummer, I still had to catch up on so many light novels and manga.'
I sighed and began walking around for the slightest sign of hope. I walked in excruciating pain for what seemed like hours until a single point of light in that vast blackness.
It wasn't exactly light per se, it was more of a point of less black than usual. Either way, that was the first thing I'd seen since I came to this strange place.
I kept walking towards the less-than-light-but-more-than-dark point until I began to see a giant circular white door come into the near distance.
I excitedly ran, ignoring the pain flaring across every inch of my body. I ran and ran until I got right up next to this giant circular white door. Right next to this door was a beautifully handcrafted mahogany desk. It felt as if 1000 master carpenters had put in their hardest work to complete this desk.
The desk was more like a mosaic than a place to do homework. The carvings on the face of the desk depicted an extremely pretty lady holding a human brain in her hand.
Her eyes seemed to follow me as I did laps around the desk. As creepy as it looked, the confident gaze of this lady staring straight into my eyes was kind of turning me on.
I laughed at my own thought process and decided to take my pants off anyway. I looked down for the first time since being able to see light, only to discover that I was not in possession of any legs.
More specifically, I was not in possession of a 'human' body. I looked at myself from what seemed like a 3rd person view. I recognized a nucleus, a mitochondria, cytoplasm, and a cell membrane.
My metaphorical jaw dropped. 'What the actual fuck'. I somehow spoke without a mouth.
All of a sudden, I heard the heavy desk sliding across the ground. I looked up to see the pretty lady that was supposed to be inside the desk, standing upright with the brain in her hand.
She appeared next to me. I was staring straight at her and I didn't even see her move. She grabbed onto my cell membrane and shoved the brain into my 'body'.
Rather than feeling scared I could feel myself start to blush. 'Could've at least taken me to dinner first.' I thought I kept that to myself, but it seems like the lady heard it anyway, as she chuckled and pointed towards the white door.
[You're a cute one.]
I could feel my body temperature rise as I hid behind the desk and thought inwardly.
'Just because you praise me doesn't mean it'll make me happy!' I sounded a lot like one of my favorite fictional reindeers.
She laughed once again and pointed to the door.
[Make sure to use your brain. All of it, hehe.]
I was about to ask her what she meant when a giant eyeball appeared on the great white door in a violent fashion. It stared at me for a quick second before turning on some OP vacuum force that sucked me deep into the white door.
I bright light penetrated my eyes, so much that I couldn't see for multiple minutes. All of a sudden, I heard a door open quietly, followed by a message from a soft voice.
"Good morning, Lord Altair."