Irene
Irene hated that she could not be with the Alpha family. She had heard that he was awake but that was all she knew. She worried so deeply about him that it ached to even think about it. But there she was thinking about it.
She had seen Jake barge in earlier. A part of her hated him. No, all of her hated him. She hated his guts, his unruly behaviour and his lack of sense of responsibility. She blamed him for what had happened earlier that night.
She believed that if he was present, like he should have been, then his father would not have had to speak. She could tell the man was begging for retirement and it was long overdue. After leading the pack for almost 30 years, the man had earned his rest but his son, Jake, was too self-indulgent to consider anyone else.
Irene waited for news until it felt like torture. She stared at the clock, listened to it tick and tossed and turned on her bed waiting for more. She should not be this worried about the alpha but she was.
She felt like she owed him a lot. Like she had a lot to prove to him and even though he had repeatedly told her that she had nothing to prove, she felt like she had to anyway.
She was the beta. A role she copied because for some reason, the alpha thought it was wise that she copied the position regardless of the fact that she was undertrained, a commoner and widely inexperienced in leadership.
But she had disappointed him yet. She felt like it was only a matter of time before the alpha sees what everyone else sees; an opportunist and someone who should be relegated to the gamma position.
It was a ridiculous position, it was honest work. It was what she had believed to become when her father and mother were killed in the last rogue attack. It was what she had expected. But the alpha looked into her eyes and gave the beta position.
She had always known the alpha to be a wise man but at that moment, she thought he was foolish and she was not ashamed to own that thought. She thought he was foolish for trusting her with such a sensitive position but something in her knew that it was more of a selfish reason than it was a benevolent one.
Jake was a useless son. She had also believed that nothing about him was remotely appealing. He was born into privilege and he assumed that that was how the world worked. He had both parents alive and he used them for his own gain.
She wished he knew that the time he had with them was finite and that the time, the hours and minute that would count as their last was unknown to him and yet he didn't care. He never cared.
She was evidence that parents do not live forever. That leaves a void so deep that it can never be filled by anyone else. That when they eventually leave, you'd miss their touch, their voice, their scent, their words and everything else that made them, them.
And that pain that ached would forever hover around like a shadow especially when there was so much to say and yet nothing was said. Maybe that was why she hated Jake so much. Maybe it was not because of the fact he was a notorious flirt or drunk or rude or wildly inappropriate. Maybe it was because she was jealous of what he had.
Not exactly the possessions or the respect or the honour that came with flow of alpha blood in one's veins but because he had both parents and she had none. She hated him so much for it that it made her mind threaten to break.
Tears pooled in her eyes. She didn't want to let them fall but she could not control them. She could not put the pain at bay anymore. It demanded to be felt, to be recognised and acknowledged and it was being felt.
It was swallowing her whole, drowning her in waves as she sank to the bottom of it and the tear cascaded down her face. She hated this day so much. She hated that Remembrance Day was a thing.
The sorrow that poured into her was magnified on this day because as looked upon the people, she knew. She could see it in her eyes – their sorrow, their pain and still Jake hadn't come to realise that the people that he takes for granted could just as easily no longer exist the next day.
She remembered how she felt when the alpha collapsed. She was certain that life was determined to strip her of every shred of happiness as if she was not worthy of it. She hated Jake so much for looking at the people and yet too blind to see their pain.
Tears continued to pool her eyes as the weight of the night crashed into her shoulders. She hoped that the alpha was fine, that it was just stress and fatigue and nothing else. She knew she would be able to withstand the pain if anything happened to him.
Life had thrown one curveball to another since she was a child. She needs a reprieve. She needs peace or at the very least emotional stability. She felt like life was pushing her to the brink and she was powerless to push back. She felt like no matter how hard she screamed and begged, life would always laugh in her face and throw her yet another curve ball.
She was exhausted. She was spent in ways that seemed inhumane to be considered normal but then again she was a werewolf. She was not normal, at least not like the cities that border her pack.
She cried into the night and she cried hard until her eyes ached and her chest heaved. She had cried silently without as much as a whisper. She had cried alone, in the dark, away from everyone and then she slept in the pool of her pain.
A menacing ache stirred Irene awake. It was as if her head was punishing her for letting her become an emotional mess the night before. She got up, groaning. Her sides burned and her head burned harder.
"I thought good cries were healthy," she whispered to herself as she chuckled through the pain.
She tried to stand but her feet wobbled. She felt liquid like water, unable to support her own weight. If this is what crying myself to sleep does to me, I wonder what would happen if I drank myself to sleep. She thought. Maybe this is why Jake is always so miserable.
She hated herself for thinking that. She did believe that Jake was a miserable individual but she hated that he was the first thought that crossed her mind. She hated that she felt so strongly about him, even though those feelings were nothing pleasant. He should not have a place in her mind at all, especially when the sun was barely up.
She thought about the alpha. No word had come to her but somehow, she knew that was good news. It meant that he was alive, maybe weak and frail but alive.
She did not like the fact that the first thoughts of her day were not ones of appreciation or thanks or anything other than the Corneal family. She felt like her life was orbiting around them but sometimes, she felt like her life was orbiting just around Jake. She hated it.
She got up from her bed and headed for the shower. With the alpha family in a scare, she would have to step up. Under normal circumstances it would be Jake but… Irene, stop thinking about Jake.
The more she fought the thought, the more it poured into her. It was like a tidal wave and it was drowning her. Last night, she had been drowning in tears, now she was drowning in the thoughts of Jake. If there was one thing she seemed to be doing; it was that – drowning.
She groaned. She wondered if these were signs of her being his mate. It was stupid to think about but at the same time, it made sense. She hated him so much it hurt but only hated him because of his inability to step up.
She thought about what would happen if he did; if he stood up to his responsibilities. Maybe then, there would be no basis for the hate she felt towards him. Maybe then...
She caught herself from spiralling out of control. She walked into her shower. She ran the hot water a little hotter than she normally did. The water stung her skin a little but it wasn't too hot to bear. She wanted to burn it all; the thoughts of Jake and his family, her pain, her sorrow. She wanted to burn it all away but her pain seemed etched on her skin like markings on a stone. It refused to burn.
She stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around her chest. Her mind was no longer in a constant battle between thinking of Jake and not thinking of him. It was quiet. Even the hot shower had not exactly taken her sorrow away in its heat; it had somehow melted the thoughts of him.
Her body began to tingle. It felt like electricity was running through her veins, filling her with a yearning. She felt a pull all over her body and then the neck was on fire, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, her core. Everything was on fire with a wicked passion.
She didn't understand what was happening. She was mated yet but the yearning was intense, crippling. She was hungry but for something much more lustful than food.
Her mind was in shambles. She needed to release the tension in her muscles and the nerve that pulsed in her core. It didn't make any sense but she felt it. She was experiencing it and it was the most undoing yet pleasurable thing she had ever felt.
Every wolf had their own experience when they found their mate but she had never heard of something as intense as this and there was no one here but her. But she felt like she was going to explode if she didn't at least do something.
Her hand glided down her thighs as she stood by the bathroom door. She felt the wetness that pooled at her centre. Her fingers played at the south lips, awakening bolts of pleasure. She moaned as she bit her lip, stifling the sound as if she was afraid the walls would hear her.
Her towel bloomed at her ankles as her other hand played with the hardness of her nipples; she teased herself, pushing herself to the brink with each dance of her fingers against her core. A different kind of fire burned into her. It was exhilarating and she wanted more. Her core was insatiable.
Her fingers were drenched in the testament of her need. She pulled her fingers from her core and tasted herself. She liked the taste but she could not quite tell its likeness.
She placed her fingers back and this time she was gentle yet faster. She urged herself over the edge. She felt her muscles tense as she stroked herself to the height of pleasure. She fought the urge to thrust into herself but still she tried to numb the ache.
Her legs shook and tightened as the air in her lungs dried out. She had been trying to be quiet but as she fell off that cliff and into the abyssal pleasure she gasped loudly.
She didn't know where that hunger had come from but it seemed to be quieted. She had undone herself and she was slowly fixing herself back. She smiled as she gazed at herself in the mirror.
She clung to her skin and everything else was a mess but she laughed. She laughed as she gathered at herself but the laughter ceased when someone knocked at the door and swung open.
She froze but was able to hide her dignity in her towel before the intruder could fully enter.
"Irene," the voice called.
The pleasure she had just felt was replaced by a vicious and violent anger as she heard the voice.
Jake.