Teresa was gazing at the main entrance to the chapel. A year and a half since she had looked at it. She had missed a fraction of the services she would have liked. It was early enough but she heard the chapel bell ringing persuading the church attendees to hurry up for the sermon.
As the boisterous signal informed of the start of the sermons many were rushing to keep time. She knew that a couple were pretentious, some genuine and most rushing for a seat at the front. Those were the kind of Christians who thrived in the poor town.
She was an idol before the tumble which made her ever famous but in an unusual way. She was born in the church and raised the same way. That was how futuristic her life has been. Her family belongs to the exact church. She knew they were in there already, they are good at it.
The busy believers strode past her in haste. Maybe they knew the importance of keeping time than she did, is that why they were leading better lives than her? Some were her friends but not anymore, they did not seem to recognize her when they walked past her on their way to the chapel. Who knew you can be forgotten in only a year? That you can be famous and as infamous as anyone else? Was it because she had added pounds on her or were they pretending not to recognize her? Does weight gain change you? Are a year and a half that long?
She was observant, sometimes curious about her surroundings which was an art. She never needed books and bitter teachers to educate her in that, it was inborn. She could see them mumbling to each other and glancing, an indicator of messages being shared. She didn't have to have a victim mentality or either be a narcissist to acknowledge them as talking about her. She didn't have to make it all about herself, because it was unmistakable. She was a fallen angel, a lesson for younger girls to learn and a shame to her family. How she dragged its name in the mud is something that keeps them awake at night. Who knew?
She let them discuss her, it was only fair that the other girls learn something from her plunge as a moral lesson. She was a perfect example of what the church itself did not want girls to turn to. They had always said that in the church there is no judgement and she believed it. Not anymore, if the person in the chapel thinks of her as a failure, a sinner and judged her for it then who is to say that the church does not judge? She was prepared for ridicule since the day she decided to keep her pregnancy, if she didn't maybe they would be nicer to her.
The time was right for her to go in. She had been standing there for a minute but it was more like an hour. The chapel bell was ringing still and so she hurried inside.
There were no bigger changes from when she left, or so she thought. The benches and floor were the same as before. The altar was brighter than she had left and they added screens to reach the people who are far. "That's new", she thought. She sat down on the last bench and to the corner, maybe there she was invincible to human eyes- so she thought.
The chapel was almost full in minutes. Those minutes she took to pray for the far her life had come. She was the kind to pray even when it was bad for her. She was a true believer, not many could say that.
She sat up after her long prayer and found them all standing. It was praise time, the church knew how to keep time. She realised that Charlotte- a girl she knew from her last days in church – was now leading. That used to be her, back in the days when she was a choir leader. She liked her post only that now it repeals towards her. An indicator of change.
She saw her parents. She was not looking for them in the crowd but the front row seats they used to occupy are still theirs. It is almost as if they were destined to occupy them. She could see that her seat was unoccupied, she wondered if that is how it has been or if it had already found a perfect replacement for her.
She never wished to think about her family. They were the worst to her but everyone else sang them like legends. The only member of her family who was at least fair to her was her, young sister. She is far too young and natural to know the evils of the world. To know how fragile the love she was pampered with abundantly was, maybe she could have avoided the family traitor, who was her - Teresa She was yet to cultivate the evils of the world and focus it on her like the rest of the family.
Her young sister is named Chloe. She's six years of age, naïve and innocent as a child can be, the last born in a family of four. Teresa would bet that she was in the chapel with her parents, and her nanny All her older siblings are educated and lead fulfilling lives of their own. Her father never failed to remind her of that.
Their firstborn James is a surgical doctor in the capital saving lives each day. He likes his profession, he was born ready for that. He had a family of his own in the city. He was tolerant of Teresa until he was told otherwise by his parents. They poisoned him, and Teresa saw it coming. She is the failure of the entire family. Chloe had a bright future ahead of her leaving Teresa disappointed. She knew that she was not bright enough to match her siblings, what could she have done to change it? That was how has was, it was written in her star. Lack of scholarly knowledge was not all she needed, she was right in her faith. That was the only way she was better than her siblings because Claire does not believe in God anymore and James is not as committed as she is.
She has a daughter now. Her name is Catherine. She has been told that it is an old lady's name more times than she can keep count on but she doesn't care about that. She chose it before she knew what it meant and was sticking to it.
Teresa is a young girl, only eighteen years of age. She has seen what the world is made up of in just a year. She had been blinded by faith, all her life but no more. She sees it all now. She does not criticize religion but her naïve mind for believing that it was all about good and bad people.
She now knows about the wide range of colours between the black and white world as she had seen it all her life. It would be unfair to blame religion for her misleading. Now she knows how dark and clear the world works and everything in between. How could she be that blind to something right in front of her eyes? Maybe because she needed the motivation to see it, a child maybe.
The service was over in time. She needed every minute she could spare to get home in time. Her daughter was in daycare, it was expensive for her to keep Catherine there daily. Many were days she hung around the house with her. She's ten months old now, growing ever beautiful as her mother, it had been said by people close to her that she would be a movie star. She was her parent's princess before Chloe was born – guess that's how it changes positions.
×××××××××××××××××××
It's two in the evening.
Going to church did bring to her memories she hoped would have stayed hidden. Memories of her life, back when she was a little girl, she used to go on long walks with her parents after church. Now she has to run back to be with her daughter. Those were the days.
She had Catherine on her lap, thanks God she can now feed her. Many are the days she cried out all night long alone in the room.
She was pregnant then with Catherine and having no support was making a hard life harder. She fought for her life even when she was having doubts about living, and never had the thought of abortion has been in her mind. That was the best and bitter part of it all.
Teresa does recall that evening, it is still a fresh memory in her mind. Fresh enough to open her wounded heart, she never will have to forget it. She was talking to her daughter Catherine, a ten-month-old baby. She wanted to remind her how far they have come if she didn't talk with her from time to time she would have been a psycho by now.
She began "Mama has been through a lot dear one, do you want to hear about it? Uhh! I'll tell you a story, one of a brave girl and a braver daughter in her.
The noble girl had a beautiful childhood, a better than you will have my child, she was a loved daughter with two parents. Nice, right? I know", she whispered shaking the young one's fragile hand as she laughed. She was paying attention to what her mother had to say. She had been listening to all her mother, who was born talkative and wanted to communicate with her.
"Her name is Teresa", she resumed," she had two loving parents and a couple of siblings who formed a perfect family.
Once little and innocent, our little girl was growing up, and there were zero problems in her life. She had everything she wanted in life and more, she was introduced to church from young age, isn't she just startling?
She was in choir, loved by the whole church for her angelic voice and strong faith, even when she didn't know what it was. She was an example to the rest of the Church. Everybody who talked to her parents said that they would go far, don't look at me like that, I don't know how far.
It came a time in her life when she made a bad choice, it was nothing more but an impulse. Once a good girl, she slept with a boy she loved and the two cooked something in the oven. A baby girl was being formed in there, a very cute baby girl.
After her period was late for almost a week she had a suspicion about what it was. The pregnancy kit verified her suspicion, she sobbed all day and night but tears never work miracle.
The girl was brave, she hid her secret well and went to look for the responsible lad, guess what? The bastard had already left the small town for the city where his family lives. He was visiting his grandmother, and that is how the little girl knew that her world was crashing down on her. How was she going to take care of the baby? Her parents would kill her if they knew.
Our girl requested his number, she tried calling five times before he picked up. She explained to him in tears, the lad was shocked to death. The next day he sent her money to abort the embryo, which was not all he did, he told her not to call him ever again, the money was enough to buy a car. The boy never wanted her to keep it.
Do you know what the brave girl did? She took the money but with no motive to abort, she knew to the core that she had to keep it. Do you know what happened to the girl and her unborn child? I'll tell you, child, I want you to know that you should not forget it, child, because it is of you as it is of that brave girl", she wrapped up her story to go change the baby, Catherine. She promised to complete it in no time while changing her diapers.