"Hey, can you come over?" His voice is smooth,
"I- I suppose I can." Mine is not so much.
It was late afternoon, I haven't slept well because of Jace and now Andrew, I stared at the letter all afternoon. Analyzing how maybe I could be wrong and Andrew doesn't have feelings for me. Didn't I want this? Didn't I want Andrew to like me, well that was before Jace… I wrap my arms around myself and sigh, why had I been so immature last night? Why did I say all those horrible things? Why did I even ask that stupid question? I shake my head allowing loose curls to escape in front of me. Emily— I just wish Emily didn't see Jace and I kiss. And that was our first kiss too. I walked over to the mirror, my eyes shook in fright, I looked like a ghost. I was surprised by how tired I looked. My eyes looked so flat and soulless, my cheeks didn't have colour in them like they usually did. I attempted to put on some makeup to liven myself up… or at least look like it, but it wasn't good enough, I still look…
I swallow, and I still look lifeless.
I walk down the block to Andrew's house, it isn't that far but I still have my moon boot and I shouldn't be walking on it but how else would I get there? It takes some time before I get there and I ring the doorbell.
This time a man answers. He looks down at me.
"Hi there, my daughter isn't here." He says answers warmly.
"No dad, she's here for me." Andrew smiles at his father as he emerges from the kitchen side, his father gives him a small smile. "She's very beautiful." He compliments me and takes a call.
I feel a bit awkward about the compliment, as I rarely do take them well.
Andrew shrugs with his hands in his pockets as he leans against the doorway, "He's a very busy person, my dad is the best but he's always busy..." He mentions as he looks distant in his thoughts.
"Come in." He gestures, as he snaps back to reality.
I walk into his home and I see that it looks very different from how I first saw it.
"My mom is an interior designer so she has the itch to change our furniture every once in a while," Andrew explains, noticing my confusion.
"Is it okay if we talk in my room?" he asks, "I don't want to be forward but my abuela is here and she is a bit of a big mouth, she hears one thing and my whole family back in Miami knows about it." Andrew makes a face.
I nod. "It's okay." I smile shyly.
Andrew studies me for a while, "Unless you want to go out for some coffee?" He raises a question.
My heart saddens as I recall Jace asking me out to coffee before, I just shake my head. "I don't mind staying."
I then walk up the stairs one leg at a time.
When we get to Andrew's room. I swallow. I'm suddenly nervous.
I look at Andrew who follows behind me. I might not have feelings for him but I must admit, he is very attractive.
He lengthens his arm out that brushes my shoulder, he opens his door, and he smells of soap and a hint of rosewood. He has a delightful smell.
My eyes widened at how big his room is, what did I expect? Of course, his room is gigantic, he has a bookshelf and a trophy case. Pictures on the shelf and medals that are hung up.
His room is painted a soft blue, and he has white hardwood floors that make a sound when I walk. He has a fairly tidy room, with a few books stacked on top of each other on the floor and a few loose jackets thrown on his beanbag chair.
"You can sit over there." Andrew motions to his desk.
I nod and walk over to it. I then see a picture of him and a blonde girl with green eyes.
She is stunning.
"Caroline." He walks over and looks at the picture.
"She's really beautiful." I smile at him.
"She was… she's my best friend." He looks down at me.
"Was?" I ask.
"She's… gone now." He says with a painful look on his face.
He faces away from me and clears his throat. He walks over to his bed and looks over at his medals and trophies. The picture of him and her in his soccer t-shirt probably after a game. "She was my biggest fan." He turns back to face me, looking sullen.
I study him, with my eyes full of sympathy.
I heave a small sigh, I need to rip off this bandaid. I need to tell him that I don't see him in that way, not after I am still upset with my actions with what happened with Jace. I am such an idiot. I can't blame Emily, after they feed and clothe me and she hasn't asked me for anything before. It wouldn't be fair to him.
"I loved your poem," I tell him.
There's a silence between us for a moment.
"But not enough?" He tilts his head, desperate to hear my answer.
"Why do you suddenly like me?" I ask him.
"It's not sudden." He stares at me, his expression heavy on his soft features, "I– I couldn't get you out of my head Lucy. " his gaze fixed on mine. "since you stumbled in my house. I mean I saw you try to run away from me, so why were you in my house that day?" His honey voice sounds earnest. Too severe for me not to believe that he speaks every word truthfully.
"I don't believe in chance." he shakes his head.
"So why were you so insensitive to me?" I ask.
"I simply tried to push you away," he replies in a heartbeat.
He then frowns, looking years older with that sullen look on his face. "It's because it's unthinkable to be with you– when Jace came into the picture I knew I was fighting a losing battle. Day one I already lost." He lets out a hoarse laugh.
"I can't believe that history repeated itself."
"What do you mean?" I match his facial expression.
"It's not the first time Jace and I liked the same girl you know," Andrew admits as he sits down on his bed.
I look over at the picture, and everything is starting to make sense. "She's the girl– the girl that Jace blames for her death?" I swallow.
Andrew's facial expression grows darker. "He told you about her?" Andrew slowly turns away," How much do you know?" he queries.
He stands up in disbelief. "So you know what Jace did?" he asked im disgust, "And you still choose him?"
"I don't know everything, Andrew." I shake my head, "I believe there is more to the story."
"With all of my being, I loved her." He glares down at me from across the room. His brown eyes are glassy. "I would have given her everything," Andrew says softly.
"Why were you with Jace yesterday?" He asks.
"I like Jace," I confess, surpising myself.
"Why?" He asks. He then walks over to me. He takes my hand. I look up at him, he brushes the curls from my face and tucks it neatly behind my ear. "Why can't it be me?"
My heart contracts, "I–"
"If you let me…kiss you, and if you feel nothing then I'll give up." Andrew stares at me.
I think about it for a while, while I stare into Andrews's brown eyes. "Just a peck," I tell him.
He nods and tilts his head, his warm soft lips meet mine for a brief moment causing my stomach to have a surge of butterflies, he then pulls away.
He raised his hand to my cheek and he arched his brow, "Nothing?" he asks.
I shake my head suddenly feeling extremely confused.
"Tell me– tell me the full story. Tell me what Jace did." I half beg.
Andrew nods in acknowledgement. But he doesn't seem present anymore. He offers a smile, a forced one. "It's not my place Lucy."
"Then make it your place," I tell him, his eyes shaking in uncertainty.
"Please," I beg.
He sighs, "I don't want to meddle, doing that I think only messes things and people up." Andrew says with no emotion as if he is processing everything.
"But why? Why him?" he looks me in the eye, eyes unwavering.
"I– I don't know why there's just–"
"Something about him?" Andrew finishes my sentence, he sounds dazed… almost as if he is in a trance, maybe he's recalling something or someone.
I nod.
He lets out a sharp laugh. "Caroline said the exact same thing." Andrew sounds hurt. "I'll tell you what ypu need to know Lucy." He agrees, he looks at a picture of two kids playing in the beach sand. "Our mothers were best friends since high school, so that automatically made us best friends. We used to do everything together, ride bikes, she had this pink bike with a white basket, we use to swim for hours and force our parents to take us to the beach, Disneyland, and camping trips, we went everywhere together. We were inseparable, until Jace that is. The new guy at our school he was from London and he was a model not aspiring, he was already a well known model. All the girls were obsessed with him but not Caroline. I think he noticed that. So he sat next to her. Almost like he chose her. I had feelings for Caroline, but I was too afraid to tell her because I didn't want to ruin what we had. So Jace got around to asking her out before I had the guts to. She was happy, which made me happy, I had to give her up but I never stopped loving her. I was a coward so I had no reason to hate Jace. At some point we even became friends, and the more I knew him the more fucked up he became. I started to get scared for Caroline. Jace did some hard drugs, fuck he probably still does them now. I remember he called me and he got so fucked I had to drive him home. I asked him, I begged him to pull himself together and he asked me 'what for' and I said 'for Caroline.' Jace looked at me and he was expressionless, I swore he looked so sober at that moment, his eyes looked black when he told me that he was trying to break up with Caroline,
'Can you tell her that it isn't working, Drew?' he said drunkenly.
I stared at him in complete shock.
'Jace, what the fuck man?' I asked him.
He turned away from me and said. 'I hate myself, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.' he tells me his voice sounded so much older, he was in pain.
'I can't be a good guy to her.' he elaborated.
'Then tell her this.' I told him.
He shook his head, 'She doesn't want to end things with me– I told her I'm addicted to coke and that my life is beyond fucked up, but she thinks that she can fix me.'
'You're addicted to it?' I frown.
'Look mate, just do me this one favour.' He then just got out of my jeep.
I wasn't just scared for Caroline, I was scared for him too. I knew that something was going on in his home, his older brother left for England suddenly. Jace's grandfather was doing something to him… I don't know what was going down in that house but the next day he went to this party and that's when he OD.'"
My heart sinks.
"He was in a coma, Caroline didn't sleep or eat. She didn't go to school, she spent day in, day out at his bedside. When he woke up it was as if something switched inside of him. He became unrecognizable to me. He distanced himself from me and Caroline and that made her change too."
Andrew sits on his bed. I walk over to him and sit next to him. All I can do is hug him. I pull away. "I'm sorry."
He shakes his head. "Please be careful Lucy." He warns.
Theres a pause between us. Silence stirred the room.
"I felt something," I tell him.
His eyes stare at me and he then leans forward. "I will make you choose me." He smiles, a genuine one.
"Let me take you home." Andrew stands up i nod, he then starts to make his way to the door.
He opens it and I follow him out, he stands still for a moment.
"Don't get upset." He tells that person. I frown. Who could it be?
I make my way out of his room to see who it is.
Melody's eyes widened at me. "You bitch."