Strong content containing s*icide please be advised
Andrew probably came to his senses, I'm not dating material. I'll understand why he wouldn't call me. I sigh and plump on my bed. It's a relief. I don't have to pretend to be someone that I am not, I don't fit in with his group, and when school starts it's best if I just keep my head down.
My mind wanders to Jace… how he only left the moment I was walking to Andrew's car. Was it a coincidence or did he just want a smoke? I shake my head… no, thinking like that could only make me develop feelings for someone out of my reach. I noticed that sometimes I tie my emotions to men to keep my mind from wandering. Maybe this is what I'm doing with Jace… maybe Andrew too. But it's silly to want to be desired by unobtainable people. I whip out my phone to look at Jace's profile on social media… because I like the torture. I look at this one particular picture, and I notice how different he appears– still handsome, but only these thousands of likes will never realize how he behaves. Pictures do a poor job of capturing his beauty. They forget to include the shine in his eyes and the pink in his lips. It's certainly challenging to not be infatuated with someone so beautiful.
My heart drops when I see who is calling, was he thinking about me too? I swipe up.
"Let me take you somewhere." He says in a low voice.
"M– me?" I stammer.
"This is Lucy speaking?" He mocks, I slam my forehead with the palm of my hand, feeling incredibly embarrassed, I get off my bed and choose to pace this antsy feeling away.
"Of course," I reply, in an attempt to play it cool. "But are you going to tell me where you're taking me?" I query as my head floats over to Jace's room light with him standing in the distance, his figure staring at me. I grow anxious.
"Meet me in five?" He says in a deep voice.
I walk outside the gate to find Jace waiting next to his motorcycle.
He passes me a helmet. I loosely put on as he puts his one on, looking mysterious.
"Here." He says, accent sounding thicker as he helps me with the helmet strap I look up at him. He then takes the leather jacket that rests on his bike, "Here– put it on." He orders and I nod sheepishly.
I put the jacket around me and it smells like Jace, sweet vanilla and soap mixed in with a fresh musky scent. I zip it up. His scent makes my stomach turn with loose nerves.
"Have you ever been on one of these things?" He questions.
I shake my head, "I haven't." I say mesmerized by this situation. It feels almost surreal as if I'm about to wake up after a warm dream.
He smoothly puts his leg on the motorcycle, then turns to me with his hand reaching out to me, I take it and clumsily get on behind him.
I then gulp dryly as I question whether or not should I wrap my arms around him.
"You might want to hold on Lucy… the ride is going to be pretty fast."
He starts the engine, and in fright, I fling my arms around his torso. He turns to me while revving the engine. "Don't be shy, hold on to me as tight as you need to." He says in a deep voice, that it smooths as honey causing my heart to contract.
He then starts moving off, which does cause me to hold him in a squeeze.
We reach the highway and his bike is moving so fast causing the hard cold wind to move through me, but the adrenalin rushing through me makes me feel alive.
It's strange how being in a death trap makes you feel more alive than you've ever felt before. Gripping onto Jace's body has to be the best feeling I've ever experienced. It makes me realize that there isn't a place that I wouldn't go with him. I feel surprisingly safe… maybe safer than I have ever felt.
We go through a tunnel then, and I smell the strong scent of salt… we're close to the beach. We then submerge from the tunnel and there I see it, glistering in the moonlight, dark almost black water.
He parks in the parking area.
He clears his throat and then takes off his helmet. I then release my grip from him so he can climb off of the motorcycle. He then helps me off with the grip of his hand.
"Thanks," I say eyes fixed on his. But then I break away as his gaze makes me boil up with nerves.
"I want to show you something." Jace says in a low tone.
Okay, this is how I'm going to die… Jace could be a serial killer now that I think about it.
He walks off and then turns to me standing there, I'm baffled as to what he is doing. "Are you coming?" He questions.
I nod and follow after him, he leads me to a cliff. I can hear the salty waves wash alongside it.
He comes to a halt. "Do you think that I'm a bad person?" Jace asks, turning to me. "Do you think I'm heartless for what I did?"
"What did you do?" I query and his eyes widen.
"Andrew… he didn't tell you?" He says taken aback as the wind ruffles his black hair.
"Tell me what?" I question.
Jace blinks, "F*ck." He sighs.
"What's going on?" I step closer.
"Never mind." He shakes his head in regret.
"Do you want me to call Andrew and ask?" My voice cracks in a desperate attempt to make sense of all of this.
He pauses for a short moment to reveal something that causes my stomach to drop. "I'm the reason why my ex-girlfriend killed herself."