chapter fifteen
"*sigh*…so, now what?" I asked, turning my head to find that he was already looking at me.
"ahem…" he cleared his throat and turned his face away, I did the same. "what was it like…living the life of a villain…" he asked me.
"tiring…" I answered him. With the simplest word I could describe it in.
"tiring?"
"yeah…well, at some point it was okay, but the other half was hell. But I thinking having to live under the same roof with my father contributed the most…"
"…what's he like?"
"hmmm…a total control freak is how anyone would describe him. He always believed that I would be the key to his agenda of taking over the world…" my mind drifted off into the past for a brief moment as I blankly stare up at the ceiling. "…since the first day I could successfully run on my own, my training began. Intense hand to hand combat training, weapon handling, stealth, stamina, strength,All of which I learnt from a very tender age. I trained with my mother too. She thought me both offence and defence, were my father only wanted me to learn offence, strike first and strike hard, he always said…" I took a brief pause as I felt my emotions starting to build up. Once I felt calm again, I continued.
"…if you think I'm a badass, then my mom would be a literal Norse god, that's how good she was, still is. Before we left, my mother was the top assassin, the best if I might add. She might have done a lot of dirty deeds for the Lamont empire, she still had a kind heart. She put all that behind her, a clean slate for both she and i. it was her idea to put me here, while she opened a flower shop…" I unconsciously smile at the thought of my mother tending to the flowers, as though they were her own children.
"…that's something. And I thought I had family issues…" he made a joke to lighten up the mood and the smile on my face grew.
"who doesn't have family issues…"
"haha, yeah"
"well, I don't think Charlie can relate anyways. Her family is perfect, between you and me, I kind of envy that…" I bit my bottom lip as I revealed that to him. Subconsciously waiting for some sort of rebuking from him, but that didn't happen.
"I feel you…my old man left when I was five I think…and my mom…I think she blamed me for him leaving" xerxes revealed something about himself and I was surprised.
"I'm sorry to hear that " I don't know why I was apologizing. Maybe because of how I was going on and on about how great my mother was.
"don't be, he's the one that's going to be sorry once he sees how close I am to being a pro hero…both of them. Besides, it's good that you have such a kind mother" his words were filled with confidence when he spoke, but I could tell there was a part of him that was still hurting.
"…I believe in you…"
"mmm"
"*sigh*…he used to punish me whenever I misbehaved…" I could hear my own terrified screams ringing in the back of my head as I remembered those memories.
"what do you mean by punish…"
I sat up and held the hem of my night shirt, my hands froze for a moment because of what I was about to do. Since I have already told him this, this one shouldn't shock him too much, right?
"what are you doing?" he averted his gaze the moment my shirt came off.
"he would absorb my strength and powers, then beat me till I couldn't feel the blood flowing through my veins anymore…" there was a dazed look in my eyes as I spoke, almost robotic.
Xerxes gasped once he saw the ugly scars and discolored skin on my back…whenever he took of hid gloves, I knew what would come. It didn't matter how much I cried or begged, he would still hit me. I eventually turned numb to the pain, but the scars and trauma still haunt my nightmares. It doesn't matter if he is close or not, but once I close my eyes…he would be there, those gloved hands reaching out to grab me from the darkness…" I'd lost count of how many times I screamed out of agony, till it just went…numb.
"ivy…"
Xerxes' hand hovered over my back; I could feel his gaze trailing every corner of my back, before I brought down my shirt down.
"Sometimes I wondered if he really was my father…" I let out a dry chuckle as I lay back on the bed with my eyes closed.
"I'm sorry to hear that…"
"…it's not your fault. If anything, I should thank him…"
"why?"
"for marrying my mother; bless her soul, who knows what would have happened if I didn't have her by my side"
"hm" hummed xerxes. Things would have really been worst for me if my mother hadn't been in the picture, the only light in my dark world.
I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand, accompanied with the warmth of another. My eyes opened to meet his eyes looking back at me and I sat up, not breaking eye contact. His lips parted and he said
"everything will be fine…"
Why did my heart suddenly skip a beat, my feet turned cold and my throat turned dry? As if on impulse my free hand shot up to to face and my lips connected to his.
What was I doing? Did I suddenly let my guard down after our conversation? Fuck! I ruined the moment!
"s…sorry" I stammered as I broke the kiss, retrieving my hands back. Just as I was about to get out of the bed, his strong grip held me back.
"you should be; I wanted to do that first"
I honestly thought things would get estranged between us after I kissed him. But him kissing me back changed all of that; unlike my kiss which was short, his was deep, his free hand circled round my waist and pulled me closer to him and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He bit and pulled on my bottom lip, sucking on it till it became tender. I could feel the tension build up in my stomach as my heart picked up its pace, thundering in its cage, I could also feel how his heart had changed in rhythm as I placed my hand on his chest, matching with mine.
Xerxes pried my mouth open with his tongue as he slipped it in, which I gladly accepted with little to no resistance.
When he finally pulled back, I was panting for oxygen, as he had stolen my breath, literally. I stared back at him with a dazed look; his red eyes seemed to sparkle under the light from the study lamp.
"why did it take you so long?" his voice was low and alluring in my ears. I was still partly out of focus, trying to process what had just happened.
"huh?" he hadn't just stolen my breath, but also my voice. There was a playful smirk hanging off his lips as he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. It was an innocent act, but I couldn't help but blush. He chuckled, repeating his question to me.
"why did it take so long for you to catch up with my feelings for you?"
I stared long and hard at him, piecing the words in my mind puzzle. Did he just indirectly admit his had feelings for me all this while? And again my face turned red.
"i…" I couldn't find the words to put the things I was feeling. Did I actually like him back or did I kiss him on impulse? I questioned myself. Xerxes leaned in and stole another kiss, answering my questions.
"it's fine…I already have my answer…" he said confidently, with an equally confident smile on his face.
"when did you realized that you liked me?" I questioned him back and his eyes lit up.
"the day you kicked my ass at the entrance exams. A girl who could easily take me on without breaking a sweat? I felt something come alive in me and that was also the day I promised myself to never let you best me at anything again…" there was a satisfied look on his face. But wait that means his liked me for nearly three years and I didn't figure it out. He was extremely good at keeping things secret, I didn't know if I should be scared.
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, bringing me back to the present.
"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked him. My brows furrowed.
Xerxes sighed as he lay back on the bed with his arms crossed under his head and his eyes closed.
"I didn't want this to get weird if you rejected my feelings. I do not take rejection well…" he confessed to me and I smiled as I looked at him.
"I'm glad you liked me…" I said as I laid down facing him, using my hands as pillow…he turned his body so that he could face me. The smile that had been on my face fell down.
"What's the matter?"
"I have so much blood on my hands…doesn't that bother you? What if I end up like my father or worst" I brought my hand forward, staring at it, remembering how I used to slaughter people on whim with these hands, the darkness and pleasure that filled me up whenever I did it... Xerxes wrapped his hand on mine and I looked into his eyes.
"then let me hold your hands and make all your worries mine…you won't end up like him"
I had to confess, I really like this part of xerxes.
"hah, you're so cheesy…" I laughed and he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.
"I know…as long as I'm here, I won't let anything happen to you, Leah…" the way he called my name made my heart skip a few beats and I smiled.
"..Ivy, call me, Ivy…" I corrected him and he nodded.
"you should get some rest…" he added and I complied. Turning around so my back would face him, I closed my eyes as I was really sleepy.
I felt xerxes arm snake its way under my arm and pulled me closer to him, making my back press up on his chest.
"Goodnight…" he whispered in my ear as he turned off the light with his tendril.
"Good…night" I wished him back as we laid in the darkness. His soft breathing tickled the nape of my neck and I sighed softly, closing my eyes.
Being cuddled to sleep by xerxes was strange, but…in a good way. I couldn't help but cuddle in closer to him.
"if you keep moving around like that, I'll think you want something else…" he said groggy and I blushed, apologizing to him.
"mm…" he hummed and tightened his grip around me and I fell asleep.