It was Sunday, 7 am.
I found it odd to be bustling around the kitchen at this ungodly hour, when normally I'd still be in bed.
Yawn. I shook off the lingering drowsiness that clung to my mind. Making breakfast wasn't the only reason I was in the kitchen on my morning off, but to make Ayase-san's bento too.
First things first, let's start with the miso soup. The recipe said it took ten minutes to make, but I shouldn't trust that too much. To be fair, it was probably accurate for someone used to making it.
"Cooking really is like chemistry, isn't it?"
I personally think it's like a chemical experiment. One could understand the principles, but knowing and executing it properly were two different things. Like, for instance, if it said to slightly submerge the ladle of miso, it's hard to gauge what "slightly" means. There were times I accidentally dropped the entire scoop of miso into the pot. This time, though, I've managed to get through the first step. Now, it's time for a taste test.
"Yep, just as I thought… maybe I'll add a little more."
I knew Ayase-san preferred her miso soup a tad richer than the recipe I was using. But adding miso by eyeballing it was still a challenge for me. My method was to first follow the recipe, then adjust the flavor by adding a touch more miso as needed.
Today's miso soup ingredient was tofu. I took it out of the fridge, diced it up, and added it to the pot. I heated it up without letting it boil, then switched off the stove.
Now onto the bento.
I opened the fridge and took out the ingredients I bought on my way home from work, including a pack of sausages.
I unlocked my smartphone and pulled up a recipe I'd found the day before. I'd searched for 『Bento』 and 『Microwave』 and looked at the top results. It's not that I particularly wanted to use a microwave, but if I included 『Easy』in the search words, I'd often end up with recipes that are "easy for advanced cooks."
The recipe I'd found was for "Diced German Potatoes."
"Guess I'll start with the potatoes first."
I fetched a few from where they were wrapped in newspaper in a cool, dark spot. After rinsing them off and peeling them, I cut them into roughly one centimeter cubes. The pictures always showed them as perfect cubes, but when slicing a round potato, some pieces inevitably ended up rounded.
But, I couldn't get too caught up in that.
Just because the recipe says one centimeter cubes, it doesn't mean the dimensions have to be precise. That might seem obvious, but beginners tend to get hung up on those kinds of details. Although, it's essential to maintain uniform size so that the heat spreads evenly throughout.
I put them in a heat-resistant container and zapped them in the microwave. That's why it was listed as a microwave recipe online.
While they were heating up, I sliced the sausages to roughly the same size as the potatoes. Combined, it'd make German potatoes. So simple!
Personally, I felt they were good enough to eat as is, but the recipe recommended adding seasoning to the mix. Fair enough. Apparently consommé or salt and pepper were the seasonings of choice. I wondered if black pepper was okay since I preferred the taste.
Well, I'm making this for Ayase-san, not me. I was a bit scared, so I opted to play it safe and just follow the recipe for now. I could experiment when I was just cooking it for myself.
When I was just cooking it for myself. I'd really just thought that. I used to think doing household chores was such a hassle. I won't lie, I'd prefer to spend this time reading. And if Ayase-san wasn't around, I'd probably still be living off convenience store bentos and takeout. Still, I don't find doing stuff like this as annoying as I used to.
The microwave beeped.
I did a little taste test and, finding no issues, I began packing the food into Ayase-san's bento.
Recipes are truly marvelous things. Incidentally, Ayase-san's bento box was smaller than mine, to the point where I wondered if it was big enough to fit everything.
I filled half the box with rice and the remainder with German potatoes. I put salad in a small container and filled the tiny fish-shaped bottle with dressing, the same as she did for me yesterday. Then, I put everything into a lunch bag.
Ayase-san had left both the lunch bag and the box on the table the night before, saying, "Use these."
I probably should have prepared everything myself, honestly, but I was grateful for her help all the same. Since it was my first time, I didn't know where everything was kept.
The lunch bag she gave me was a different color from mine. Mine was red, while hers was pink... Pink?
"Good morning, Yuuta-niisan," Ayase-san's voice rang out as she entered the dining room.
"Good morning, Saki."
"Oh, you've already finished making the bento? That was quick."
"I haven't made breakfast yet, though. How do fried eggs sound?"
"Sounds perfect."
The bento's salad was already made and on the table, and the rice was cooked, so all I had to do was serve it in a bowl. I'd reheat the miso soup later. I took out two eggs from the fridge and threw them in a pan. By the time I had plated them, Ayase-san had already wiped the table down, and served herself rice and miso soup.
"I feel like you had to do a lot."
"You always help me too, Yuuta-niisan. Anyway, let's eat?"
I took my seat at her urging, said "Itadakimasu," and got stuck in.
"I can't wait to try the bento."
"Don't expect too much. But I mean, everything I made should at least be edible."
Ayase-san took a sip of the miso soup. I get nervous every time this moment comes around. Her miso soup is delicious. Letting someone like Ayase-san, who makes such tasty miso soup, drink something a cooking amateur like me made always makes me feel like I'm committing a crime.
"Mmm, this is delicious," she said, her eyes narrowing in satisfaction.
I unconsciously patted my chest in relief.
There's a chance she was just being polite, though.
"I guess I should've made something more Japanese for breakfast. Ah, should I grab some seaweed?"
"Please. But personally, fried eggs with miso soup feels very Japanese to me. Besides…" she said as he picked up the sauce bottle. Doesn't she usually use salt and pepper? I thought as I watched her drizzle soy sauce on her fried egg.
"...See? If you put soy sauce on it, it becomes a proper Japanese dish."
I shot her a wry smile.
"By that logic, pouring soy sauce over anything would make it Japanese."
"Exactly my point."
"You sure about that?"
"I've always believed the essence of a country's cuisine lies in its fermented foods."
"Ah."
Japan's fermented foods include miso, soy sauce, and natto[1]. While they might be off-putting for the uninitiated, their strong, acquired tastes make them deeply nostalgic for those who grew up with them. Well, to be fair, even some Japanese people still can't stand natto.
[Natto is a Japanese dish made from fermented soybeans known for its strong flavor and sticky texture.]
Some even say the air after stepping off a plane at a Japanese airport smelled like soy sauce.
"Besides, I like Western food too, so you don't always have to make Japanese food for me."
Basically you're saying don't worry about it.
"Hate to say it, but your bento today can hardly be called Japanese food either… Oh right, about the lunch bag."
"There a problem with the one I got out?"
"No problem, I just thought it was pretty unusual for you to have something pink."
Ayase-san nodded with an, "Ah," and then went to explain. As she did so, she tore open the pack of seaweed. She picked up a piece with her chopsticks, then put it on her rice, rolling it up like a sushi roll. She brought it to her mouth and munched away thoughtfully.
"You eat it just like that, without seasoning?"
She swallowed and gave me a curious look.
"Huh? The seaweed has its own flavor, doesn't it?"
She said it like it was a no-brainer. Sure, it has its own taste: Seaweed.
"Really? I always put soy sauce on it."
"Doesn't it get too salty?"
"Doesn't your mouth get too dry?"
After that little back and forth, I remembered we had a similar argument in the past. About how Ayase-san just used salt and pepper to season her fried eggs, while I used soy sauce[2]. I said I don't like it because my mouth feels too dry with just salt and pepper.
[These kinds of things are common arguments around the dinner table in Japan. Ketchup or wostcher sauce are also brought up as the superior seasoning.]
Apparently, Ayase-san remembered that convo too. By chance, fried eggs were on the menu today as well.
"I see. So you'd prefer your rice to be a bit moist, Yuuta-niisan."
"I see what you're getting at. Also, Saki, have you always eaten seaweed straight up, without adding any flavoring?"
"Yep. Adding anything else would mask the natural taste. That's a waste, isn't it?"
"It's not something I've really paid attention to before."
I thought about how the little things we do day to day can go unnoticed. I need to pay more attention, or I might miss Ayase-san's preferences.
Note to self: Ayase-san likes her fried eggs with salt and pepper and eats seaweed as is.
"Anyway, back to the lunch bag. It's an old one Mom bought as part of a set. She got them cheap because they were sold in pairs."
"Ah, I see."
So that's why they're the same type. She must have bought them before she remarried, hence why Ayase-san just had red and pink.
"I usually use the red one, and the pink was a backup..."
Now that she mentions it, the red one does suit her better.
"So, the pink one was meant for me?"
"You would've preferred it? I don't really care if it suits me or not, but then people might think you prefer that color, so I figured red would be the safer choice. You don't have many pink things, do you, Asamura-kun?"
"If you're asking whether I like pink, it's not my favorite, but I don't care either way like you."
It's never crossed my mind to judge people based on the color of their possessions. People should just choose whatever colors they like.
"Did I overstep? I mean, I don't know if there'll be a next time, but maybe I should buy a new lunch bag?"
"If you tell me where they sell them, I can buy one myself. Or, if we have some free time, we could go together."
Ayase-san flashed me a smile, but it faded just as quickly, and she pursed her lips.
"Free time, huh? I wonder when we'll have some."
"Being an entrance exam student is tough, huh?"
"I just want it to be over already, but I also don't want the exams to come up too quickly."
Ditto.
I've signed up for more classes at cram school[3], and although I've started to recover from the drop in grades earlier in the spring, I still don't feel I've acquired the academic skills I need.
[Cram schools, known as "juku" (塾) in Japan, are private institutions that provide extra tutoring and exam preparation for students. They help students excel in subjects and competitive entrance exams, focusing on intensive study in small classes. However, they can be expensive and contribute to a culture of academic pressure.]
I'm running out of time. Maybe I should cut back my hours at work.
"Hm?"
A notification flashing up on the smartphone I'd left on the table caught my eye. When I tapped on the screen, I saw the forecast: rain in the afternoon.
"Rain and lightning in the afternoon..."
Ayase-san looked out the window when I mentioned it to her, and I did the same.
An early summer breeze flowed in through the half-open window. The visible stretch of sky outside was clear blue, without a single cloud in sight.
"Rain… doesn't seem like it's going to, though?"
"Forecast says it will. It could be a sudden shower or maybe even torrential rain. It says the probability of rain in the evening is ninety percent. I think you should take an umbrella when you head off to work."
"That's a pretty high probability. Got it. I'll take an umbrella."
"Be careful on your way home. It says there might be lightning too."
"Really? Ah, um… got it."
For a split second, Ayase-san pulled a face as she nodded. But the serious look vanished just as quickly.
I mentally raised an eyebrow.
***
"Wait a sec, Ayase-san."
I stopped her just as she was about to step out the front door.
"What?"
"I'll go with you."
"Yuu—"
Ayase-san, pausing with the door half-open, turned back and seemed to hesitate. Then she opened the door fully and stepped outside into the apartment building's hallway.
"...What, Asamura-kun?"
"You don't have to be so strict about using different names—"
Ayase-san's eyebrows began to droop with each word.
"Ah, no, I'm not blaming you or anything."
Inside the flat, she calls me "Yuuta-niisan," and outside, "Asamura-kun." I got that she was trying to differentiate, but surely it's confusing to do that based on what side of the front entrance her feet were on?
I followed Ayase-san out the door, locked it, and then stood beside her.
"Look, since it's supposed to rain today, I can't ride my bike. So I figured we might as well leave together."
Ayase-san was heading to work, and I was on my way to cram school.
"Maybe I'm a little too inflexible," she muttered as we waited for the elevator to come up.
"Don't get down on yourself. It's pretty common, I think."
She looked at me doubtfully, so I decided to give an example.
"Changing how you refer to things inside and outside of the house is common. During your last year of junior high, did you have mock interviews for entrance exams?"
"I did. I took exams for high schools that had interviews."
"Weren't you taught to refer to your parents as 'father' and 'mother,' instead of 'dad' and 'mom,' for those?"
The elevator arrived with a ding, and we stepped inside. I waited for the doors to close before continuing.
"It took some getting used to, didn't it?"
"Yeah, maybe," Ayase-san murmured. "But for me, Mom's been telling me that since the end of elementary school. Sometimes there were phone calls from her work, and I was supposed to say 'I'll hand it to my mother,' not 'I'll get my Mom.'"
"Fair enough. But at first, you probably just said it the way you always did, right?"
"Probably."
"Now you can naturally switch between the two, right? So, it's just a matter of getting used to it."
"You might be right. Yeah, maybe."
We got off the elevator. As we left the apartment building, I looked up at the sky. The clear blue morning sky was gone, replaced by an oppressive leaden gray. I could smell rain on the wind.
"This... definitely looks like it's gonna rain."
I looked up at the sky, then at Ayase-san next to me. She didn't have an umbrella in her hand.
"Do you have an umbrella?"
"A foldable one, yeah."
"Ah, okay then."
"How 'bout you, Asamura-kun?"
"I have a foldable one in my bag too. It's not very reliable if there's a sudden downpour, but well, even if I had a big one, I'd still get soaked anyway."
"I think I'd take shelter from the rain and before going home if that happens."
We set off, walking side by side.
"But... this feels kinda new."
Ayase-san responded with a small, "Huh?" before turning her face towards me.
"We've gone home together after work heaps of times, but we haven't really walked beside each other from home to the station much, have we?"
She nodded.
"The last time might've been for our school trip."
"Ah… yeah, I remember."
Back then, it was just about dawn with almost no one around. We could only go out at times when no one from school would see us, so we basically avoided being together outside. But, in order to be "closer together outside," I figured we should start leaving the house at the same time, which I'd been spacing out on purpose until now.
I just want to get a little closer to Ayase-san on my end.
We're not holding hands or having a fun conversation. But I get it. I walk a tad slower to keep pace with Ayase-san, and she probably speeds up a bit for me. It's clear we're both thinking about each other, even in these small ways. It's these moments, when we're subtly conscious of each other, that feel comfortable for us right now.
The sky overhead was gray. In stories, an overcast sky often implies future anxieties, but real-life events happen regardless of the weather.
I tried mumbling that observation to Ayase-san.
"Isn't that kinda obvious...? The sky doesn't clear up or get cloudy for our sake, does it?"
"In the world of stories, it's different. Like, a darkening sky might mean the protagonist is in for some bad luck, while a clear sky after the rain might symbolize the end of bad times. And rustling branches behind a woman who's waiting can express her anxious feelings that the person she's waiting for might not come."
That's what they call "indirect expression."
"Really? I mean, now that you mention it, I've seen scenes like that in dramas and such, but I just thought it was windy or something."
"Well, it's all about getting the audience to feel a certain way, like uneasy or optimistic. But interpreting those cues can also be fun."
"That's actually a thing?"
"Yeah. Though, even under a cloudy sky, enjoyable moments happen in real life."
After an, "I see," Ayase-san seemed to lose herself in thought.
"The weather does affect my mood sometimes," she started saying.
It wasn't the case right now, she explained, but the weather being gloomy could bring her down.
"When it's dark outside, I'd feel down. I'd curl up on my bed, rest my chin on my knees, and spend the whole day in a daze. My eyes would also look like a dead fish."
"That sounds... pretty rough..."
"Oh, that was back in the day. Don't tell Mom. She'll just worry."
"Got it."
It was probably around the time her father moved out.
Feeling a bit worried, I glanced at Ayase-san.
"Are you okay now?"
"I'm totally fine. Whenever I feel down, there's someone by my side to lift me up. You said it yourself, right? That lots of good things can happen even under a cloudy sky."
"I did say that."
"I think we're very alike. Yet, you always say things I wouldn't think of, Asamura-kun."
"The same goes for you."
Ayase-san's approach of facing the world head-on was almost blinding to me, as someone who'd become adept at navigating through life's rough waves with a go-with-the-flow attitude.
"That's why, just walking beside you, Asamura-kun, makes me feel like I'm under a cloudless sky," she said, her face breaking into a radiant smile. It reminded me of a sunny day in the middle of the rainy season.
But then, she quickly looked away—
"—Just kidding. That was kinda poetic, wasn't it? So unlike me."
Ayase-san scratched her forehead with her pointer finger, looking embarrassed. I thought it was cute and told her as much, making her blush even harder.
We exited the alley and stepped out onto the main street. Shibuya on a Sunday was overflowing with noise and people. As we got closer to the station, the streets were jam-packed, making it a challenge to walk without bumping into someone.
A young couple was strolling together, arm in arm, in the midst of the crowd. Junior highschoolers by the looks. I mean, if you're that close, it almost seems like you could move as one creature—wait, aren't they hot? It's June, and even with the sky being overcast, it was still near on thirty degrees Celsius. As I watched them with those odd things running through my head, someone who looked like a salaryman passed by the couple. He clicked his tongue loudly in annoyance, despite not actually bumping into them. The young couple, seemingly intimidated, quickly scuttled off to the side of the street.
"They seemed so close, it was nice."
"If you want an arm to hold onto, you can have mine anytime, you know?"
Ayase-san thought about my offer for a second before gently shaking her head.
"Just the fact that we left the house together today is enough for now."
Seeing me act like a stranger to her at school, Ayase-san had felt a distance between us. That led her to seek out excessive physical affection at home, and also caused us to lose sleep. The thing is, the distance between the two of us outside the house was just too great. That's the tricky part.
What's the appropriate distance between us, not just as lovers but also as step siblings...? Maybe I need to be a bit more assertive when we're outside? How close is "close" in this context? How close should I be to avoid nurturing Ayase-san's anxiety?
Enough for now. I hope she truly means it when she says that.
I snuck a glance at her face out of the corner of my eye. She looked calm.
"What?"
"Nothing, uh, Ayase-san."
I got a, "You're weird," before she immediately turned to face straight ahead again.
What face would she make if I whispered, "Nothing, Saki," right next to her ear? I was a little curious to find out.
I had thought that with our parents gone, we'd have more alone time together. After dinner, I half-expected her to ask for another hug, but nothing like that happened. We simply went to our rooms and slept
Looking around, I couldn't help but notice all sorts of couples on the street, each with their own comfort level for PDAs[4]. It didn't even seem to make much difference if couples were similar in age and pairings. Some walked with their arms tightly intertwined, bodies pressed closely together, while others just linked their pinkies. Every couple was different.
[PDA = public display of affection.]
Meanwhile, Ayase-san and I walked just close enough for our shoulders to barely brush against each other. A perfectly balanced distance—close, but not too close.
This was the first time we had walked side by side amidst the midday bustle, and it felt surprisingly comfortable, at least to me.
"By the time I get back from work, our parents will have returned, won't they?"
"Yeah, they will."
While it's a bit sad that our alone time will be over, these two days have been peaceful.
The traffic light at the Scramble Crossing[5] changed. Ayase-san headed off to the bookstore, and I headed to cram school.
[The Scramble Crossing in Shibuya, Tokyo, is a famous intersection outside Shibuya Station where pedestrians can cross in all directions, creating a busy and iconic scene.]
***
I stretched in my seat and got up.
History isn't exactly my strong suit, and just keeping up with the lecture had taken all my mental energy. Maybe because I was so focused on not missing a thing, my body was all stiff now.
2.40 pm. There's a 10-minute break now, and then one more class after that.
I walked down the hallway and headed to the break room. Maybe a can of coffee would help me refresh.
I gave the can I snagged from the vending machine a light shake and headed into the second break room on the same floor. It was a small space, with just four round tables and chairs scattered around. Surprisingly, no one else was in there.
I set my can down on the nearest table and did a few squats.
"Maybe I should exercise more…" I muttered, stretching out my stiff body. I've always been more of an indoor person, and I never really cared much for sports. I only ever watch events like the Olympics.
That's why I kept my distance from sports festivals, where athletic people shine.
Yet, for whatever reason, I'd decided to try basketball. Still, I can't make a basket.
I mean, if I could master in a few days of practice for a sports festival what athletic club members took years to learn, I'd have been recruited to the basketball club a long time ago.
"Like this, right?"
Taking advantage of the empty break room, I pretended to throw an imaginary ball towards a hoop. There was a famous line from a basketball manga[6] that went something like, "The left hand is only for support." Supposedly, if you push the ball with both hands, it's harder to balance the power between the two, causing control issues.
Makes sense. Doing two things at once probably throws off one's balance. It's probably easier to control if you just focus on one thing.
[He's talking about Slam Dunk, a popular Japanese manga and anime series about a high school delinquent who joins a basketball team and transforms into a skilled player. It's celebrated for its impact on basketball's popularity in Japan and its engaging characters and storylines.]
I tried "shooting" the air ball a few more times.
In my mind, the ball always went straight through the net. But in reality, it's never that easy, is it?
"Playing basketball?"
I jumped at the sudden voice.
Spinning around, I saw a tall girl standing at the door of the break room.
"Ah, Fujinami-san."
She was dressed casually in an oversized T-shirt that hid the lines of her body, and jeans. With her cap pulled low over her eyes, her tall frame could easily be mistaken for a guy's.
"I saw you through the window."
"You can see in from the hallway?"
The thought of being seen made my face heat up, but I knew she wasn't the teasing type.
"I didn't expect to see you playing basketball, Asamura-san."
"I got roped into it for the sports festival."
She had a look of understanding on her face.
"Well, you did seem a bit awkward."
"You could tell?"
"I'm tall, so people always tell me to choose basketball for the sports festival. I'm actually pretty good at dribbling and shooting. Well, for an amateur, anyway."
This time it was my turn to nod in understanding.
Given her height, it made sense she'd be the first pick for basketball. It wouldn't be the least bit surprising if she was recruited by the basketball team either. But since the first time I met her was at a golf driving range, it threw me off a bit.
"You were good at basketball?"
"Surprised?"
"Yeah. I always thought you'd prefer solo sports."
"Well, I thought you'd say that. But actually, whenever I got the ball, I just dribbled it and took the shot myself."
Ah, okay, so even in basketball, which was supposed to be a team sport, she'd still end up playing solo. I couldn't hold back a wry smile.
"That means you made it work somehow right?"
"People seemed to like it that way."
Her classmates apparently told her not to worry about being too considerate.
"It wouldn't be a problem if everyone around me was a basketball club member, but in our sports festival, club members weren't allowed to participate in their respective sports. So, in junior high sports festivals, everyone was inexperienced. Even if I thought a team member was open near the goal and passed them the ball, they wouldn't receive it."
"They wouldn't catch it?"
"People were afraid of Fujinami-san's fast and scary passes. They'd say, 'Don't throw it to me!'"
"Ah, I see."
For someone not in the basketball club, it'd be terrifying to have the power of a basketball player's throw flying right at you.
"So, I just kept getting passed the ball, and I couldn't pass it to anyone else."
"Which means you had to run with it on your own."
I could picture her being passed the ball from every which way and charging forward each time.
"Well, I actually preferred it that way."
"If it's a win-win situation for both parties, it's fine, isn't it?"
"Maybe. But when you're running around like that, you start to wonder if it's really okay."
"I guess it depends on whether you play a team sport to enjoy teamwork or choose to play as a team to win."
"It's a school-sponsored sports festival. I feel like doing that is an issue if it's seen as part of education to foster cooperation."
"Then we shouldn't include solo sports in the festival."
"Oh. I hadn't thought of it that way. Still, it's not all about winning in a school sports festival."
"I mean, it's not like we're playing basketball just for fun. The point is to win, especially since it's a tournament format. That said, doing whatever it takes to win might go against the school's educational philosophy."
"That's a bit much, don't you think?"
"Think of it this way: if the class chose to use you as their main attacker, then that's a strategy in its own right, isn't it?"
Fujinami-san looked convinced.
"That's a good way to put it. Makes me feel better too."
After talking for a bit, my conversation with Fujinami-san ended when it was time for class to start. But afterwards, I found myself reflecting on my own change of heart—wanting to participate in team sports even though I wasn't being begged to like Fujinami-san was. So basically, I think I want to get better at teaming up with others—within reasonable limits, of course. Maybe I'm just itching to practice doing things with someone else.
***
When class wrapped up and I stepped outside, sure enough, it started to rain just like the forecast said. I opened my folding umbrella and held it above my head.
"The forecasts you don't want to be accurate are the ones that always are..." I mumbled, staring up at the dark clouds covering the sky and the silver raindrops pouring down.
The world follows Murphy's Law. Bread always falls from the table and lands butter-side down, and the rain falls hardest when you least want it to.
The trip home was hilly, making it hard to walk back when it rained. And to add to that, the umbrella obstructing my view, and the thick rainclouds darkening the sky made it seem much later than 6 pm, when it should've still been bright out.
The apartment building I knew so well, visible beyond the winding alley, looked very different. Its colors had changed because of the rain. And under the bright street lights, the paving stones transformed from a pale to deep green as I stepped on them.
"I'm home," I called out as I opened the front door of our flat. Before stepping on the floor, I peeled off my soaked clothes and socks. I headed straight to the bathroom, tossed them in the laundry basket, then swapped to comfy clothes. I wasn't soaked enough to need a shower.
Neither Ayase-san nor my parents were home yet.
I could tell by the sound of the rain pelting the windows that it was getting a bit stronger.
"Should I heat up the bath?" I thought aloud.
I started preparing dinner. As I hadn't been shopping, I'd need to cook with the ingredients on hand. And obviously, it had to be a recipe I could actually make. Given it's a rainy day, something warm might be nice.
"...Curry, maybe?"
That might be good.
Spicy curry is perfect for seasons that drain your appetite. Plus, pouring warm curry over warm rice should be perfect for warming up a cold body. Just imagining it brings to mind that stimulating aroma. My stomach growled. Ayase-san doesn't like spicy food as much as I do. Since the spiciness can be raised later, I'll make it sweet to suit her taste for now.
I searched for a recipe on my smartphone. This time, I specifically searched for 『quick curry.』
Apparently, you can make curry without even using a stove. All you need to do is chop the vegetables and meat, then heat it up in the microwave. Should I give it a try?
It said to mix just the onions and vegetable oil and heat them up first. Then, add the remaining ingredients. Next came adding water and heating it up slowly. Easy peasy.
As easy as it sounds, you couldn't be careless. The time it takes to make it would definitely be longer than what it said in the recipe, and that's precisely what made a beginner a beginner. Furthermore, for beginners, recipes feel like ancient spell books written in some arcane language. Like, for example, when they say how to chop the vegetables. "Slice the carrots into half-moons." Half-moons? What does that even mean? Ayase-san would probably burst out laughing if she found out I was stumbling over basics like that.
After cutting all the vegetables and meat up, I added water and curry roux before zapping it in the microwave.
At my house, we always have both sweet and spicy curry roux on hand. This time, I used just the sweet roux. I did just as the recipe said, so it should turn out as normal sweet curry.
I gave it a little taste test after it finished heating up. Seems like normal sweet curry to me.
Recipes are truly marvelous. This should suit Ayase-san's taste perfectly. I felt my cheeks relax as I pictured her smiling.
I realized I was smiling too, which gave me a curious feeling. The curry wasn't exactly to my taste, meaning if I made it for myself, I wouldn't be satisfied with it. Yet, I was happy.
It's weird when you think about it, but also makes sense. If you're making something for someone else, you should cater to their preferences. But, always compromising could be stressful.
Regardless of if it's for a loved one, plucking your own feathers to weave cloth would make you thinner day by day. That would just worry the other person, defeating the purpose.
"Maybe it's a good thing that we could find common ground..."
It's probably too sentimental for me to be moved just because I can make something that fits Ayase-san's preference for sweet things.
It had grown completely dark outside, with just the sound of the rain filling the kitchen. Could this rain be the reason why I'm getting emotional over such trivial things?
I snuck a glance at the clock.
A robotic voice announced that the bath was ready. At the same time, I heard the front door open and Ayase-san's voice saying, "I'm home."
"Welcome back. How'd you go with the rain?"
She didn't come in from the entrance right away, so I assumed she was probably soaked.
"Drenched..." a faint voice replied through the door.
"The bath's ready," I called out a bit louder so she could hear me.
"..."
She'd apparently replied to me, but I didn't hear her.
There was no sign of her coming to the kitchen, even after waiting for a bit. I assumed she'd either gone to her room to change or to the bathroom.
I decided to finish making dinner so it'd be ready to eat by the time she got out of the bath.
I went back to the kitchen to prepare the salad and side dishes.
"It smells so good!" Were the first words out of Ayase-san's mouth when she came in from her bath.
"You made curry, huh?"
"I thought it might warm you up."
"Yeah. I'd be grateful."
When I asked her how bad the rain was, Ayase-san stared out the window and bit her lip. She said she'd unfortunately come home when the rain was at its heaviest.
"The rain might get even heavier later on though."
"Yeah, it probably will… But, do you think our parents will be okay?"
Our parents were traveling by car for their trip, so driving in the rain was far from ideal.
Despite appearances, they were actually pretty careful. I trusted them to drive safely, but I still couldn't help feeling a bit worried.
"I think they should be on their way back by no—"
With almost perfect timing, Ayase-san's smartphone vibrated.
"Looks like it's from Mom," she said, glancing at me for permission. When I motioned for her to check it, she peeked at the message and let out a small, almost voiceless, "Huh?"
"What's wrong?"
I figured the news wouldn't be serious. If it had been, I would've gotten a message too.
"They're stuck in traffic. Apparently, they're not moving at all. They said they might be pretty late, and depending on what happens, they might give up and stay another night."
I looked up the traffic info myself. I knew where they were heading, so I searched the relevant routes for any updates.
"Ah… looks like there's been an accident, so there's a traffic jam."
"It's Monday tomorrow, will they be okay?"
"My old man mentioned he had a day off saved up. I don't know about Akiko-san, though."
"Mom doesn't start work until night time anyway. So I guess it's fine even if they come back late."
"He probably took the day off anticipating something like this might happen,"
I suddenly realized our parents wouldn't be home again tonight. Not that it really matters. It was the same deal as last night.
After dinner, we'd figure out who'd have a bath first, then go back to our rooms to study. We'd maintain a comfortable distance, not being too clingy nor too distant.
"The bath…"
"Huh?"
"Why the confused face?"
"Ah, sorry. I was spacing out."
"As I was saying, since I've already taken my bath, you can go in whenever you want, Yuuta-niisan."
"Oh, gotcha."
Since Ayase-san had already taken her bath, I could go in whenever I wanted today. It'd been a while since I had that freedom, so I felt a bit lost when given the choice.
"Oh, by the way, I worked with Kozono-san today."
"Hm? Ah, so you did end up working with her."
The lightning fast change in topic made my head spin, but I quickly caught on that she was talking about the new part-timer, Kozono Erina. She'd been on the same shift as Ayase-san, as I'd thought she would be.
"Guess I'm also helping to train her now. They asked me to teach her a few things."
"It's your first time having a junior, isn't it? She seemed to catch on quick, so she shouldn't be too much of a handful, right?"
"Yeah… that's true."
Her reply was a bit hesitant, as if something was stuck in her back teeth.
Ayase-san tends to be like this when asked about her first impressions of someone. Ayase Saki hates putting people into boxes, so she struggles to summarize her feelings about someone in just a few words. I get that, but I also felt like there was more to it.
"Did something happen?"
"It's not that something happened. She's energetic and honest, so I think she's a good person. But… Sorry, I dunno how to put it into words."
"I actually had the impression she might be similar to Narasaka-san."
Maaya Narasaka-san is probably Ayase-san's closest friend.
It was surprising to see Ayase-san look so shocked.
"Maaya? No, I don't think so. They're completely different."
"Really?"
"They might be complete opposites."
I was even more surprised by that answer.
Opposites? My impression of both Narasaka-san and Kozono-san was that they were both friendly and energetic girls.
"Maaya won't come to you."
"Come to you?"
"Yeah. She's like a sunflower, I guess. Konozo-san is like, um… the sun?"
I didn't understand at all.
But, there was clearly a fundamental difference between the two in Ayase-san's mind. It felt weird for two people to have such different impressions of the same person. But hey, Ayase-san and I are different people ourselves, so I guess we're bound to have different takes on things.
The sound of rain pelting the windows grew louder.
"There's not even a typhoon and it's raining this hard."
The water was flowing down the window as if it was being poured from a bucket.
"...I'll clean up. It was delicious. Thanks for the food."
"Just leave it in the sink, and I'll take care of it."
"Okay, thanks."
After putting the dirty dishes in the sink, Ayase-san retreated to her room.
Yep, same as yesterday, we're heading back to our rooms after eating, maintaining a comfortable distance.
Our parents still weren't home yet.
"Guess I'll study too…"
I went to my room after washing the dishes.
About an hour of concentrated study went by. When I looked up, feeling tired, it was already 11 pm.
I got up, thinking it was about time for a bath. When I opened my door with a change of clothes in hand, I noticed the light was on in the living room. I heard the TV and, curious, peeked in to see Ayase-san sitting on the couch.
"Watching the news?"
"Yeah. Weather news. They say it's a torrential downpour."
When I stepped closer to the TV and looked closely, I saw that the northern part of Kanto was lit up bright red on the screen.
"You think our parents are caught in this? Have they messaged you since?"
"They said they're taking it easy at a service area."
It didn't seem as serious as I thought. They probably took the day off tomorrow, so apparently they didn't want to push themselves.
The wind was still howling unabated outside, and every now and then, there was a bright flash. Apparently, we were getting some lightning now too.
"Oh no. Has it turned into a full-blown storm?"
"Yes..."
Ayase-san, sitting on the couch hugging her knees, was staring intently at the TV screen.
"I think they'll be alright. Don't worry."
"About our parents? Nah, I'm not worried about them."
But her gaze was still firmly fixed on the screen.
"I can make you something to drink if you like."
"I'll be up all night if I have coffee now. Besides, you were about to take a bath, weren't you? Don't worry about me. I can make it myself."
As she finished her sentence and stood up from the couch, it happened.
A flash of lightning turned the window white. BOOM! A deafening sound struck our eardrums.
Everything went dark, and Ayase-san screamed. It was the first time I'd heard her cry out like that.
"Ayase-san!"
I held her shoulder as she crouched down, and asked if she was okay.
A second flash of lightning pierced the pitch black room, followed by a thunderous roar. The room was illuminated for a split second before fading back into darkness. I couldn't help shrinking back myself. Ayase-san clung to me as the thunderclaps came one after the other.
"The lights..."
"Calm down. It's okay. It's just a blackout."
In the darkness, we relied solely on the feel of each other's bodies for comfort. The rumbling of thunder continued close by, but surely being inside a building would protect us from being struck by lightning.
Looking out the window, the lights were out in all the other buildings. More than likely there'd been a power grid failure, affecting the whole area.
I couldn't see Ayase-san's face with it buried in my chest as she clung to me, but I could feel her body trembling.
"It might be a while before the lights come back on, so it might be safer to sit."
"O-okay," she replied, lifting her head.
Just the intermittent flashes of lightning made it hard to see, but her quivering voice gave away how scared she was.
Taking her hand, I gently guided her to the couch, then sat down beside her.
"Look outside. Everything's pitch-black."
"A blackout..."
"Could be a problem with the power plant, substation, or maybe the lines. Given the extent of this, I doubt it'll be fixed quickly."
"T-the lightning is really intense, huh?"
The TV screen had also gone completely dark.
Ayase-san leaned against me for a while, as quiet as a mouse. Maybe it was because she had just taken a bath, but a gentle, pleasant scent brushed past my nose. Feeling her weight leaning against me, she seemed lighter than expected. I was worried I'd break her if I held her too tightly.
It was the first time I'd seen Ayase-san freak out like this. I was more concerned about how to reassure her than about the lightning or blackout. But I knew that panicking would only make things worse.
I tried to keep my voice as calm as I possibly could.
"Is it the lightning you're afraid of? Or the blackout?"
"...Both."
It was news to me that she was afraid of both darkness and lightning.
"I'm really sorry. I'm clinging to you like a kid."
"Everyone has stuff they're afraid of."
Hoping talking would take her mind off it, I kept the conversation going while letting Ayase-san cling to me.
I gave her a gentle squeeze with the arm I'd wrapped around her back.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here with you."
So there's nothing to be afraid of. That's what I tried to convey to her.
Her trembling slowly subsided as my warmth reached her.
"Is there anything you're afraid of, Asamura-kun?"
"Well, yeah. There are some things."
I noted that she'd returned to using my last name, but chose not to point it out.
"Like what?"
"Like, graveyards at night. They're pretty scary, just like anyone else would think."
"Do you believe in ghosts and stuff?"
"No… But don't you feel like something might appear in places where everyone thinks it will? Like, because everyone thinks it, it might actually show up?"
"What're you saying?" She chuckled, and I finally relaxed a bit.
Outside, the sound of thunder gradually faded away. The flashes and booms began to spread out, the noise became fainter, and the wind began to die down.
"Was what I said that funny?" I replied with a deliberately clueless tone, making Ayase-san giggle and her body shake with laughter again.
She let go with the hand that'd been clutching me, and pressed it against my chest. She tilted her face up slightly. Our eyes met.
"So, according to you, ghosts and spirits appear because of the living?"
"Yep, that's about right."
A question mark formed in her eyes, so I explained.
"Don't you think there are more graves than just the ones in graveyards?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, humans have been walking the land in Japan for thousands of years, right?"
"Well, sure. The Jomon period began over 10,000 years ago and lasted for about that long."
"So then, there must be people who died and are buried in places other than graveyards. If ghosts and spirits appear in places where the dead sleep, it wouldn't be strange for them to appear anywhere in Japan."
The fearful look Ayase-san had just moments ago vanished. She scrunched up her brows, deep in thought.
"That's... true, I guess."
"Think about it. There might even be someone buried underneath the building we're in right now."
"Wh-what are you saying?"
"But we don't usually think about it, do we? So it's kinda strange we're only scared of graveyards."
"If that's true, then isn't it weird for you to be scared too, Asamura-kun?"
"A lot of people are scared of them, though. I used to be as a kid. I mean, if so many people are scared, it feels like something spooky is bound to happen."
The rain falls hardest when you least want it to. Maybe I did believe in ghosts after all. One called Murphy, that is.
"...It seems like strange logic to me."
Ayase-san did catch on that I was twisting the narrative mid-way. Well, either way, the chatter was just a distraction, so the logic doesn't really matter.
"It's okay to say something's scary if it is. You don't have to pretend. At least... not in front of me."
"...Yeah. Thanks."
The room was slowly getting muggy as the air-con had stopped. With the chatter from the TV and hum of the air-con gone, I realized how quiet a house could be. Occasionally the wind up and rain picked up, rattling the windows, but that was about it.
The lights were still off. We knew we could get a candle's worth of light from our phones, but just chose to huddle together on the dark living room couch. It brought back memories of a night two months ago when we fell asleep in each other's arms. The warmth of each other's bodies was so comforting that we couldn't resist the pull of sleep.
Ayase-san wasn't trembling anymore.
"The reason I'm scared of the dark is probably because of that incident..."
She stopped speaking after her last two words. I waited patiently for her to continue, not wanting to rush her. After a pause, Ayase-san began recounting a memory from her past.
"I think… It was winter in my third or fourth year of elementary school."
Back then, her mother, biological father, and her all slept together in their small apartment. Though, her parents' relationship was slowly going downhill.
She suddenly woke up in the middle of the night.
"The futon was cold, and Mom, who always slept beside me, was gone. Both Mom and Dad were gone, and I felt left alone in the darkness."
She let out a sigh as she remembered how, as a child, she couldn't understand why she was left behind like that. It felt as if she had been thrown into the dark abyss all alone.
She was struck by an irrational fear that her parents had either died or abandoned her, and she was suddenly the only person left in the world.
"Maybe the fairy tales I read back then had an influence too. It was a story from some northern country or other, I think… The sun gets taken below the horizon, leading to a long, perpetual night. A girl is left behind in the never-ending darkness, and it's so cold that even time seems to freeze. As her heart turns to ice, she loses her humanity and becomes a winter monster or something."
In Ayase-san's young head, she believed she had become a monster in the darkness too. Thrown into the darkness, never to see her parents again…
"By that stage, the relationship between my parents had already grown cold. I had this vague feeling that things would never go back to the way they were. I even thought maybe it was my fault."
"Your fault...?"
"The way Dad looked resentfully at Mom... I felt he looked at me the same way..."
You'll look down on me like your mother does one day, won't you? Yet neither she nor her Mom had ever looked at her biological father in that way.
In hindsight, Ayase-san surmised that her parents probably just went outside. Whenever they had an argument at night, they'd take it to her biological father's car so as to not wake up their daughter in the small apartment.
She didn't know which one suggested taking it outside. It was more in line with her Mom's personality, so it was likely her, but she wanted to believe her biological father must've gone along with it because he didn't want their daughter to see them argue.
But there was no way a kid who'd just turned ten would comprehend all that. So, she burst into tears.
Her Mom came running when she heard her daughter sobbing, but Ayase-san just clung to her, crying almost the entire night. Since then, she hadn't been able to sleep in complete darkness, and always kept a nightlight on.
Ayase-san finally opened up and told me all that.
"Don't you think it's embarrassing for a high schooler to be afraid of the dark?"
"Not at all... So, you're scared of lightning because it might cause a blackout?"
"That's part of it. When blackouts happen, it's often because of lightning, right? Plus, I think the loud noise is scary. You can't control natural phenomena…"
"Everyone has something they're afraid of. It's just that not everyone talks about it."
I, for one, have a fear of heights, which is why I hated the plane ride during our school trip.
"Being able to admit what scares you is actually quite commendable."
"Even though I panicked and clung to you?"
"If it were me, I'd probably stubbornly deny being scared, even if I was terrified."
"That would've been kinda cute."
I'm not sure what to think about the "cute" part.
"Well, luckily for you, I'm not afraid of either the dark or lightning. So, you can always rely on me in times like this."
"Yeah. Thanks."
When I replied with a playful, "You're welcome," Ayase-san smiled faintly, before burying her face in my chest again.
"...I was really happy earlier," she whispered softly.
"Huh?"
"The thing you said. That you wouldn't go anywhere. That you'd stay with me."
"Oh, right…"
It was embarrassing to hear my own words repeated back to me.
"It comforted me."
"Well, I'm glad. It looks like the rain is letting up, so hopefully the power comes back on soon," I said, unlocking my smartphone.
With practice ease, I pulled up the Lofi Hip Hop stream I've listened to more times than I can count. The sound, reminiscent of an old vinyl record, filled the space around us. It had a nostalgic feel to it, a kind of scratchiness that's different from the clarity of modern music.
"Let's forget about the blackout. Don't you think it feels kind of stylish and elegant listening to the rain and this music?"
Ayase-san chuckled quietly in the dark.
"That's a bit pretentious, isn't it?"
"They say even dogs become poets on rainy days."
"Who's 'they?'"
Now, where had I heard that? I felt like I'd read it somewhere. But it was too hard to figure out, so I decided to bluff my way through it instead.
"Asamura Yuuta," I said with a straight face.
She laughed silently, her face buried in my chest. Her shoulders shook with amusement. I guess my attempt at being an impromptu poet had failed. And just as she laughed, I remembered the original phrase: "When in love, even dogs become poets." Alright, that's quite different. Now I felt even more embarrassed, so I decided to just stay silent and go with it.
We felt the warmth of other bodies pressed together. We lost ourselves in silence, listening to the music and the faint sound of rain. The seconds ticked away, and it felt like our body heat had melded together into one.
Suddenly, Ayase-san looked up at me. Her lips moved, as if to say something—
—And the ceiling lights flicked on. The air-con made a single cough-like noise, and started blowing air as it tried to lower the temperature in the room.
Lights blinked on in the buildings outside too. Clearly, the blackout was over.
A LINE notification chimed. Not from my phone, but from Ayase-san's.
"It says 'The rain has stopped, so we're heading home now,' and, 'We'll come as soon as possible.' They might be able to get home before morning."
"That's good."
"It's a shame. Our stylish and elegant moment is over."
"Another time, then."
"Yeah. Well then, goodnight, Yuuta... niisan."
"Goodnight, Saki."
And just like that, the two days without our parents, for me and Ayase Saki, came to an end.