In order to read a letter written on paper, you need light. However, a message on the phone can be read in darkness without any issue. Even a message from Asamura-kun could stay hidden from anybody else as long as I cover my head with my blanket. It doesn't attract another person's curiosity. As for how I look at other people from the outside—I wasn't thinking about that at all.
The very first thing I did after waking up was grab my smartphone and pull my blanket over my face, checking my LINE app… However, there was no reply. Well, it's still 6 am. Breakfast is at 7, so he might still be asleep. Maybe he's telling his group that he wants to walk around alone today. The answer might come any second. There's no need to rush.
"Puwah!"
I pushed the blanket off my head and sighed. Next to my bed, Maaya was busy combing her hair, as our eyes met.
"Oh, Saki. Were you doing some blanket diving championship?"
I don't think a championship like that exists.
"It's pretty hot, huh?"
"…I wonder why," Maaya gave me a cold stare.
I was aware that I must have looked like an idiot. That's why I shrugged it off completely. I put on my clothes, ate breakfast at the cafeteria, and checked my phone again, but there was still no response. I started growing worried, thinking that maybe I shouldn't have asked him. Maybe I should send him another message? But I don't want him to think that I'm being clingy. And while I hesitated, we prepared to head off. Then again, we're going to the same place, so while we're together as a group, we should be able to see each other once or twice, right? There's no need to panic… or so I made excuse after excuse as we departed.
Sentosa Island is a small island located to the south of Singapore itself. It was well-known as a leisure resort that had a lot of popular tourist spots, such as Universal Studios Singapore, Mega Adventure Park, and Palawan Beach. We can't enter them, but there are casinos, too. It was connected to the main island of Singapore by a large bridge, which could be traversed by car, bus, taxi, foot, monorail, cable car, and so on. However, you had to pay an entrance fee for entering. Our group chose the bus. There were four lines on the bridge just for one side, as we were focused entirely on the wide blue ocean to the left and right of us. Just looking at the bridge connecting the islands, it wasn't much different from the Tokyo Bay Aqua-Line—Actually, that's not true. There are four car lanes for just one side here, and the color of the ocean felt more… southern? Everyone was excited as they stared out of the window, but as for me, I was staring at my phone. I sent Asamura-kun a message.
'Let me know when you can make some time.'
Of course, after we made it to the island. Right now, all of us students should be traveling to the island. Maybe… I looked up and gazed out of the window. There were several cars lined up next to ours, but I didn't see another bus. Maybe he already made it onto the island, or maybe he's only just now making his way there. I sighed yet another time as my phone vibrated, bringing me back to reality. I hurriedly stared down at my phone.
'Sorry for the late reply! I'll make sure to slip out this afternoon, so we can meet then!'
It was a relatively brief response, but it made me feel relieved. Thank goodness. He's trying to make it so that we can be together, at least. But he still hasn't told his group? Well, Maaya already knows about my relationship with Asamura-kun, so I've got her full support as the group leader. However, the same can't be said for Asamura-kun. Even if he told them that he wanted to walk around the island alone, they might just get angry at him for being a lone wolf. Since he said he wanted to make it out this afternoon, I should just trust him.
He probably wants to stay with his group at least for the morning. I don't want to get in the way of his friendships, and if we get to see each other this afternoon, then I have to be happy with that. I can't be greedy. And I realized that this exchange sounded oddly familiar to me. It felt like a heavy stone landed deep inside my stomach. I was reminded of the regular exchanges between my father and Mom. She works at a certain bar in Shibuya as a bartender, coming home late every day.
This was all job-related, so it couldn't really be helped, and my father should have known that. Yet when he was robbed of his company and lost his trust in other people, he only viewed others with doubt and distrust. Each and every single day, he would complain. "Late again?" he'd ask Mom. His angry voice made me curl up in fear, and I felt genuine terror as a child. Wondering how he could say these things and be mad at Mom. Back then, he was the unreasonable one. The root of all evil. I wanted him to stop blaming Mom for everything. And Mom just took it all in silence. She probably realized that talking back at him wouldn't get us anywhere. Because it wasn't based on logic. It was all centered around his feelings.
I looked at my phone again. Asamura-kun hadn't responded. But he had his own friendships and relationships, and we were still on a school field trip, so he didn't have unlimited free time. I'm just being selfish for expecting an immediate response. I understand I shouldn't feel this way. It's not fair to be annoyed that he couldn't make time for me yet. I don't want to be like my father who just blurted out whatever nasty thought crossed his mind. I ran my fingers along my phone screen, typing a new message.
'You don't have to force yourself to make time. Just let me know when it's best for you.'
After sending that message, I raised my head.
"Hey, Maaya."
"What's up, my darling? Need to go to the toilet?"
"W-Will you shut up?"
We're surrounded by people. What potty mouth is saying these rude things, huh?
"Fwaf fwurfs!"
"I hope it hurts! No more joking around, okay?"
Ofay ofay, fwof fwuwing!"
I stopped pulling on her cheeks and cleared my throat to get back on track.
"I was just wondering if your tummy hurt because you had such a stern expression. Ah, are you congested?"
"…I will pull your cheeks again."
"I'm sorry!"
"Enough with the jokes. I was just wondering what our plan of action is once we get to the island."
"Ah, right. As long as we meet up at the right place at the right time, they'll let us do pretty much whatever we want. But that leaves us with too many options to choose from, so I looked up a few recommended spots and added them to the notes on LINE."
"Oooh!" The other members of our group let out a groan of admiration.
Satou-san even joined in. "That's a huge help! Wow," she muttered. And she's right. Since we were given this much freedom, she could have very well just slacked off. And yet she considered every possibility. This is the sort of thing that makes her such a reliable person.
"The Universal Studios is right after we get off the bridge. And a bit further west, there's the Mega Adventure Park."
"Hm. Which do you think would be better?" I asked, and Maaya crossed her arms and started thinking.
"No matter which we go with, there's way too much to see in just the one day we have. Unless you guys have a specific attraction you'd like to check out."
"I see."
"And we'll be taking the same bus home later, so we'll be on a relatively tight schedule. If anything happens, be sure to stay in contact. Everywhere around here has free wifi, at least as far as I know."
All of us group members said 'Okaaay!' in unison, like little children after having listened to a safety instruction. It was clear we all had great trust in our group leader. Then again, I was the same.
"But in theory, we should start with the one furthest away. Walking around with souvenirs after buying them too early would be a drag."
Everyone nodded. Soon after, we got off the bus, and after careful consideration, the boys decided to head to the Mega Adventure Park, whereas we three girls would meet up with Satou-san's friend Mio-chan midway, and then we'd all head to Universal Studios Singapore together. I guess the boys couldn't win against the charm of 'Adventure' as the name said.
"Not to mention that it isn't just any regular adventure! It's mega!" or so they said, but I didn't know what was so great about that or why they'd even make such a big deal out of it. Maaya said that boys like terms such as 'mega' or 'giga.' And considering she had multiple younger brothers, that argument sounded even more convincing. We girls started walking to the ticket gate for the Universal Studios building. It was relatively easy to see, as the front was decorated with a large blue globe that had 'Universal' written in alphabetical letters on it. But when we got closer to it, Maaya gently whispered into my ear.
"Are you sure about coming with us? I don't think you'll be able to leave quickly after entering."
She probably was asking me about my rendezvous with Asamura-kun. However, I haven't gotten a response since we got off the bus, either. Just standing around doing nothing would only make me restless.
"It's fine. Let's just have fun."
That's what I needed the most right now. I can just think about the rest once Asamura-kun actually messages me. He should be walking around somewhere himself. It's fine. He said he'll let me know. We bought the tickets and then entered through the front entrance.
The sun had reached its zenith. The sunlight felt even stronger than yesterday, and the temperature had risen accordingly. It made me forget that we were still only halfway through February. We were told that it could rain practically any day because Singapore was currently going through its rainy season, but there was no cloud in sight. I just hoped that my sunscreen worked as we walked around inside the theme park. Until now, we had just been having fun. I think I could relax a bit more since it was just us girls. What surprised me the most was the fact that Satou-san of all people had the most fun on the rollercoaster. She wanted to ride it several times, so I took shelter under a roof and sent off the girls who wanted to enjoy the rides some more. My semicircular canals aren't going to survive at this rate. I get dizzy even when playing 3D games on a big screen. And… I'm really scared, too.
I welcomed back the girls and we decided to eat something at the park's restaurant. I figured we'd then check out some more attractions in the afternoon, but Maaya said she wanted to do some more sightseeing. With that decided, we headed to Palawan Beach. At around 3 pm, after the sun had begun moving west, the sunlight grew a bit weaker. I pretended to check the time on my phone but instead looked at my messages. I think I've been doing that a lot more frequently as soon as noon passed. And yet no message came in.
Granted, we could rely on the free wifi sponsored by the government, but I didn't know when it'd just randomly cut off, so I booted up LINE and sent Asamura-kun another message.
'We're heading to Palawan Beach right now.'
Time-wise, the best we can do is probably shop for souvenirs later. And if we wanted to make some memories together, the beach is the best place, too. I was scared that maybe we'd pass by each other without noticing. It wasn't that huge of an issue, but it's one I wanted to avoid. I waited a minute, but he didn't even read my message. I grew a bit concerned, wondering if something may have happened.
'I'll be waiting there, and I'll let you know if we move.'
I really hope my messages reach him…
"All right, let's move!"
When Maaya said that, I stood up. And then we started moving toward our last spot of the day.
Sentosa Island was shaped like an inverted triangle, with the southern area sticking out, although that could be hard to see on the map. And the Palawan Beach in question was located in the southwestern area (stretching from top left to bottom right). On a map, it looks like a shore in the shape of a 3. And from Universal Studios, the beach was a distance of 2km away, which was roughly a 30-minute walk. We saw that it was a distance we could travel by foot, so we immediately started our journey. We might as well enjoy the scenery on the way.
"If we get lost, we can just have Saki ask someone for directions."
"Me?!"
"You're the most proficient English speaker out of all of us, after all," Maaya said and Satou-san nodded.
I-I'm not that good… or so I wanted to say, but thinking back on it, I was the only one who actually talked with Melissa yesterday. We made our way towards the beach walking behind the Universal Studios we had just come out from. The exit we used was like a shopping mall with lots of restaurants. Though since we had already eaten lunch, we didn't have any intentions of checking that out, but we could still hear cheers coming from the attractions.
We left the area and walked down the path that was probably the main road. We could once again see the clear blue sky above us. The sunlight was definitely less intense than before, but it was still plenty strong, which made my eyes hurt when I looked up, and sweat started building up on my skin. The temperature's gone up, too.
"With weather like this, I'd love to have an umbrella," Maaya said and Satou-san nodded once more.
Yeah, this weather definitely brought the risk of heatstroke. Especially since we were just walking alongside the road like this. To our left and right were forests, and it felt like we were walking through a jungle, with no stores or other resting areas in sight.
"I heard there's a giant hotel across the forest here," Maaya said.
She must be talking about the five-star hotel that we could see on the map itself. Though the trees are blocking the view right now. And amongst the rows of trees were palm trees growing as if they had always been there since the start, just mixing in.
"Ah, the sea…"
When I heard Satou-san's voice, I quickly turned my head to look straight ahead. In the distance, I could see a different color of blue, and waves crashing against a beach periodically.
"Wow!" Maaya gasped.
"It's the sea! Should we start running towards it and then jump at the same time?"
"Please don't. You'll just hurt yourself."
The scary part about Maaya is that she'll actually do things like that if you don't tell her off quickly enough.
"It'd feel very youth-like, though."
"And what would all the residents and tourists think if they saw a young girl screaming something in a foreign language as she ran down the street?"
"How peaceful it is, probably?"
"I won't deny that, but still…"
"Narasaka-san, you shouldn't—"
"C'mon now, Ryou-chan, you can call me Maaya already."
"…Maaya-san. That's something you do when setting foot on the sandy beach, right?"
"Oh, right! Ryou-chan, you're a genius!"
Maaya created a peace sign with her fingers and held it out toward Satou-san. Satou-san's friend mentioned that she'd never seen her open up this quickly and that she was almost a bit jealous.
"Let's start a cheerleading dance on the sandy beach with our shoulders together!" Maaya suddenly came up with another of her weird ideas.
"Not gonna happen."
"If you stretch your leg up and snap a pic, I bet your brother will be quite happy, too."
"No way!"
…Ah, I didn't mean to scream like that.
"So you do have an older brother, Ayase-san? Or is this… more talk about having the little-sister attribute?" Satou-san said.
"Well, um… I do have one."
"How nice. I'm an only child, so I've always wanted siblings."
"And she reaaally likes her brother."
"I'm a bit jealous."
"This has nothing to do with anything!" I protested and tried to end the conversation, but Maaya grinned at me.
"…He hasn't contacted you yet, eh?"
"Ugh…" I faintly nodded.
She really sees through everything. The more we walked, the bigger the sea began to look. The scent began drifting over toward us, too, and it tickled my nose. Whenever you're in a southern country, you always get this rocky scent. Then again, that makes sense. It's connected to the sea, after all. Finally, the beach spread out to our left and right.
"Wow! It's pure white!" Satou-san said with admiration.
Beyond the beach were the blue sea and the blue sky. And diagonally to the right, we spotted a small island.
"That's Palawan Island. You can even see the famous suspension bridge."
There was a small and narrow bridge connecting our side to the island. It looked to be… around 50 meters long. It also was barely hanging above the water's surface.
"Is it famous?"
"Well, there's always pictures of it, no matter if you check the guidebook, pamphlet, or the Palawan Beach website."
"That bridge… doesn't look too reliable."
"It's no problem, Ryou-chan. It's barely one meter deep there, and there are ropes on both sides to make sure you don't fall, either."
Just as Maaya said, there were rope-like nets on both sides that looked like a guide rail.
"I… see?"
I guess she's got a point.
"Anyway, let's go! Since Palawan Island is so small, we should be able to take a quick tour and then walk back!"
"O-Okay."
But are we really going to walk across that bridge? After we walked the path along the sandy beach, we reached a billboard with rules and listened to the guide there. The tall gate in front of us then opened, as we walked along the green pathway, reaching the beginning of the bridge. This sudden reveal made my heart skip a beat. Was it built like this on purpose?
"Running down here could be dangerous, so let's take our time, okay?"
Should you really be saying that, Maaya? You're the person who keeps running ahead. But she's not wrong. Each time a person made a step on the bridge, it gently shook left and right. To me, this entire ordeal was a lot more terrifying than any rollercoaster I had ridden today. When passing someone who came back from the island one had to either lean to the left or right to avoid them, which made the bridge shake even more. And you'd even bump into them from time to time. I could feel my heart racing painfully fast, and even though I knew I couldn't fall, I really didn't like this sort of thrill. Eventually, we finally reached the shore, and having solid ground beneath my feet caused me to sigh in relief. As we walked along that shore, we could already see the sea on the opposite side.
"This sure is a small island!"
Maaya was right. It was honestly pretty underwhelming. Just walking around the whole island shouldn't take too long, at least. We went on our way, grabbing some sand from the sandy beach, and we spent some time gazing at the waves with the breeze blowing against us. The heat had receded a bit, but I was exhausted so I sat down on a random chair that happened to be sitting around.
"We're already going home tomorrow, huh…?" Maaya said.
"It almost feels surreal. But we're definitely traveling outside of Japan," Satou-san said as she took a picture of a large boat traveling down the open sea.
She seemed a bit disappointed that the light from the sun wasn't quite enough to reflect everything properly.
"We didn't even get to see very many places either, right? I'd love to come again!"
"Would we really be able to?"
"If the traveling costs weren't that big of a problem, we could come every week. But it's a great place. It's beautiful and safe, but it really hurts when you suck at English."
"Which you don't, right? You just can't hold a proper conversation," I retorted to Maaya.
"I'll just have to employ the services of a guide."
"You're not referring to me, are you?"
"Say, Saki, do you want to have your honeymoon here in Singapore?"
"You'd better not be using someone else's honeymoon as a reason to come with them for a trip."
What even are these ideas she's brewing? After a quick break, we decided to head back to the main island. After reaching the beach, I turned around one more time. The sun had begun sinking beneath the horizon, but the sky was still blue. In Japan, it'd be slowly turning dusk right about now.
"Still bright out, huh?"
"Even after 7 pm, the sun's still high up."
"I heard that sunset in Singapore happens at around 7:20pm," Satou-san told us.
"Hm? Ryou-chan, did you look that up online?"
"Yes."
"Oh, you're right! We've got wifi here… Ah!" Maaya suddenly looked like she remembered something and turned toward me. "You wanna stay here?"
"Huh?"
What's she talking about?
"There's one bus stop from here to the meeting point, so can we go on ahead? We'll wait at the souvenir shop."
Maaya's words made me remember the messages I had sent to Asamura-kun.
'We're heading to Palawan Beach right now.'
'I'll be waiting there, and I'll let you know if we move.'
I said I'd let him know if we move again. But on Palawan Island, we were out of reach of the free wifi. If I don't let him know now, I'd have to wait here the entire time.
"I think this is probably the last place we'll get to see with such great scenery."
"Ah, are you planning on meeting someone?" Satou-san's words caused my heart to skip a beat.
"How did you…""
"Well, you've been restless this whole time."
Maaya burst out laughing when she heard that.
"I guess it's time to drop your 'Dry girl' act, Saki!"
Dry… What kind of nickname is that? I never saw myself as a dry or distant person. I just tried to live my life the way I wanted without being shaken left and right.
"There's still some sunlight left. You'll be able to spot them easily if you stay here. But be sure to be back in time for the meet-up."
"And I'd like to buy some souvenirs, too," said Satou-san.
"We can do that, no biggie! Anyway… we'll catch you later, Saki."
"Have fun."
"…Huh? Are you sure?"
Before I could even say a thing, the two walked away, with Maaya giving me a thumbs-up and moving her mouth saying: "Good luck." I swear, she couldn't be any more forceful… Watching the two walk towards the main road, I sighed and took out my phone. She was right, I still had a wifi connection. But I didn't get any calls or messages. I looked around me and then went back to the suspension bridge again. Upon reaching the center, I stopped.
The sun was moving down the sky and towards the horizon. It began to look smaller and smaller. And as I stood in the center of the bridge, surrounded by nothing but water, it felt like I had entered a world of my own. I could hear the sounds of the birds flying way above my head, the waves crashing against each other, and the wind hissing through the bridge's net. From time to time, I could hear a whistle from a boat in the distance.
Time-wise, it seemed like most tourists had made their way home for the day, and no one else came to walk across the bridge, allowing me to focus solely on the sounds around me. When I looked over at the beach, I saw that there were still groups of people loitering about. And then I heard voices approaching. A man and woman came from Palawan Island, so I hurriedly made some space for them. It must be a newlywed couple. They were holding hands as they smiled at each other, passing me by with a quick "Excuse me." When they passed me, I caught a quick glance at them again, as they looked at the setting sun in admiration.
With the sea on both sides, seeing the sunset at the horizon definitely was a rare sight. I'm sure that'll be a great memory for them. And after they walked a few steps, they looked to the west like I had before. The man moved over to tightly embrace the woman's shoulders, as they looked at each other, and—I realized I was staring too much and frantically averted my gaze.
It's not very polite to stare like that. Eventually, the two of them separated and walked further down the bridge, causing me to sigh in relief. They didn't even seem to care that I was there. It made me realize that I had come a long way from Japan. Is this because we're overseas? Or because the two of them were so absorbed with each other? Maybe my sense of values is just old-fashioned?
"How nice."
I realized what I'd just said and quickly covered my mouth in shock. And I looked around frantically to see if anybody heard me. A balance between desires and reason—no matter the time and period, it almost always ended up as two parallel lines.
Shirakawa no kiyoki ni gyo mo sumikanete
Moto no nigori no Tanuma koishiki1
I remembered a bit of superficial knowledge I had picked up during Japanese history class. When I think of people like that doing as they please in front of others, I'm also reminded that humans are animals too and that it's their instinct. Compared to that, I'm still hesitant when it comes to Asamura-kun. I'm afraid that I'm too forward with my desires… No, that's not it. I'm scared of simply revealing what my own desires really are. Even though we said how important it was to adjust to each other.
And for that to be possible, I need to openly reveal my hand from the very start. It's okay if other people start to dislike me. I have to reveal my own desires. What comes after… I'll worry about that later. I'm getting ahead of myself. I clenched my phone and walked down the bridge. Upon reaching the beach, I made sure I still had a wifi connection.
'I'm waiting on the suspension bridge at Palawan Beach. Please come.'
I made our meeting spot as obvious as possible. But instead of simply saying 'I'll wait here,' I decided to be more assertive and asked him to come. Right afterward, I got a read notification on my message.
'Sorry for making you wait. I'm on my way right now.'
…What? I quickly raised my head, but I couldn't see him in the distance. Right now… When will that be? Worried, I rushed back to the suspension bridge. I could see my shadow from the sun as it slowly disappeared behind the horizon. It felt like the darkness of night was slowly creeping up on me. Agitation and narrow-mindedness were part of it.
Then, the suspension bridge shook slightly. Footsteps were approaching. I looked away from the setting sun and turned around. I spotted a boy running towards me, gasping for air, and my chest tightened. I could tell who it was just by his silhouette alone. Breathing heavily, drenched in sweat, Asamura-kun ran towards me and spoke up.
"Sorry… It took me so long…"
Seeing him filled me with relief, and all the anxiety and worries filling me were blown away. What happened that caused him to take this long? Why did he end up getting here this late? There were countless questions filling my head even though I knew Asamura-kun must have had a valid reason for it to be this way. Logic dictated this thought. However, I realized that just holding back all the time will leave things not conveyed. I can't just erase the agitation and narrow-mindedness that just filled me. And all these feelings… my father just blamed Mom for. He clashed with her, threw tantrums at her, and put her down. And that's how everything ended.
"I waited a long time," I said, and Asamura-kun's expression grew stiff in regret.
I could see my mother's facial expression from all those years ago in his. That's why I continued.
"You came for me, so…" I told him and remembered that there was something even more important that I needed to say.
I walked up to him and embraced him with both my arms.
"I'm happy that we get to see each other."
And just as the setting sun's color melted into the sky above us, our silhouettes turned into one.