'I would like to hear it all, whatever bothers you ,everything.' he was all determined to listen up and get to a solution. I looked at him and wondered whether it will be a wise decision to tell him all about me ? will he stay after hearing what i had to tell him or is he going to runaway like others, those on whom I trusted to stay but as they figured out how fragile and vulnerable I was all of them diverged their path .of course, any ordinary person would do so as everyone has thier problems and wouldn't like anyone to just add on to it, consume thier time to get someones frustration out .as i was a kind of person who would never open up to someone very quickly or easily but when i trusted someone i was more like a book to them which is hard to open but easy to read , you need to dicepher the code to get full access .that was indeed dangerous for me , it was like giving someone the key to your lifeline they know where you stand stronger and on what grounds you could be pulled down, but at some point it was my strength too ,since I had nothing to conceal from the person I believed in ...I just respected their prescence in my life ....that's what friends are right, you can share everything with them that you may not be able to share with your family , cause you can't show them that you are not well off by yourself ,they worked head to heel to make you strong ....sometimes it's hard to tell them that you need support or you are jaded.
the experience from my past hovered over my shoulders restricting me to communicate what made my heart heavy with it's weight .time lapsed Ken was waiting patiently with no comparison to any worldly being still i couldn't gather the courage to tell him the truth as I couldn't risk to lose him .'My family is typical family with every decision being taken by the elderly, in case of marriage all they need is that thier children being married to someone who is good in nature ,money , belongs to the same community or atleast to same religion . you fit my first two criteria but last one holds immense improtance to them Ken .'I could say no more thus , tied my lips after what i said .how could i do this even after knowing what things were like I loved someone who was firstly , out of reach and if by chance came nearer then secondly ,my parents would deny .all these thoughts were sickening I felt that dying was more easy than letting my parents down. 'So, what should we do , have some advice? how are we going to take our first step, cause I'm not going any where until you say that i mean nothing to you as well as you owe it too.'Ken mustered out his remark.
After alot of hither n thither we decided to first make a vedio call to my parents and i would inform them about Ken.