"If you find yourself at a gambling table with a Pascian, you've already been scammed."
Vol 1. Lessons from a life of Gambling by Finicky the everlosing of Ashanti
2 hours ago -
The stage was set a while ago by the two lead performers. On one hand, was the fat count. Looking mighty fine in his richly decorated velvet pantaloons and white tights while walking on his gem-covered poulains. His round belly was covered by a large red coat of fur and a white cotton shirt. His Bandholz style facial hair did quite a spectacular job of hiding his ever-growing double chin. His crooked nose led into a resolute and powerful pair of black eyes, his black hair wild and cascading down to his broad shoulders. On his back were 8 large wings of the purest of white, indicating his status as a member of the royal house, albeit a lower one.
This was going to be his moment of triumph, his moment of glory. For he would beat the queen of Gunnulf. Where she was, he had no idea. He knew of their barely defended headquarters, but he had yet to lay eyes on that woman, that vile pest that was sowing chaos in the Holy land of Cerviel. The land of HIS family and his lineage, and would he dare to say it, his future kingdom.
For he was of the royal line of Cerviel, a proud and noble lineage dating back countless millenia's. He was relied upon to defend the sacred land and border that was the land of the count of Oleoso, an area rich in its production of sub-standard olive oil. But he would not cower in his land, that would not do, not for a man like him. He took HIS army and invaded the Kingdom of Gunnulf, laying waste to the city of Jakriborg. Alas, the populace had long since fled the city and took all the precious resources it had, but no matter. He found his prey.
"Aldonza, Donadei and Gilo. I want all three of you to take command of the army and charge the army of that vile little bitch. Aldonza, you're in command of the infantry, Donadei takes command of the left cavalry, and Gilo you take command of the mage and range division" His deep and authoritative voice gave the orders to the men on their knees in front of him.
"By your command, my lord" came the response from Aldonza and Donadei. While those two replied without hesitation and were seemingly eager to take up their positions of command, Gilo had his reservations. "My lord, I don't think it is wise to recklessly charge into the army of Gunnulf. If you take a close look, you can see that they're clearly quite relaxed and some are even playing cards and betting. I suggest we withdraw slowly and regroup at fort Batería de Aspiroz."
"YOU would have the great Altamira retreat before these lowly plebeians? I WILL HEAR NO MORE. Officers, disarm and dishonor that man. Shave his mustache and beard and throw him in jail."
"Aldonza and Donadei, the army is yours. Dispose of these barbarians and bring me that vile bitch that killed my uncle 30 years ago.
"By your command!"
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"Oh, would you look at that, they're finally charging" came a sleepy voice from the line of infantry of the Gunnulf army. "I really want to go back to my bed and embrace my lovely wife."
"Björn, you call that thing a wife? I would be more inclined to call her a Thorkal, rather than a lovely wife" came a cheerful and mischievous voice next to Björn. Their conversation was heard along the line of their infantry squad and caused quite a few chuckles.
"What's wrong with a little bit of cushion for the pushing Einarr? Is your prick too small to reach that sweet holy land? I'll have you know, my wife can withstand quite the fight. I bet your small wife can't even handle a bit of pushing before she breaks." Björn replied while indicating the size of Einarr rod with his hands, growing ever smaller the closer the enemy came with a large smile on his face.
"You piece of sh" as Einarr was cursing and moving his sword to strike at Björn before he got rudely interrupted by a command from behind.
"Whoever those two were, shut up and report to the headquarters after the battle. We got an army of a royal piss boy of Cerviel to kill, I would appreciate some focus from you bloody morons," an elegant and loud voice ordered from behind.
"Jeez, her voice does not match the words she says at all. I bet her parents were laughing throughout her entire childhood at that obvious mismatch." Björn quietly murmured to himself while preparing himself to handle the enemy's charge.
"I can still hear you even if you whisper, you bloody muppet. I will find you after this battle and make you pay. Perhaps I'll show your wife what a real woman can do for her."
"Ah, shit" Björn quietly chuckled alongside the rest of the army as they all had tuned in when they heard the order.
"Well, let's get this over with Björn. I am looking forward to watching you receive your punishment. This is going to be good." Einarr laughed as he pats Björn on the back to show his condolences.
"You with the small prick, don't think I forgot about you." Einarr's face fell and turned white as the entire army roared with laughter.
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"So, what do we have here? A genuine member of the royal family of Cerviel. I genuinely thought you were faking it till you made it, but these wings are bloody real." a tone of genuine surprise by an elegant voice was heard from the woman hovering over the fat count as she tugged on one of the wings.
She was tall, extremely so, hovering around the 2 meters 40 cm range. She had a square-shaped face, yellow lips, a small upturned nose, and dark yellow eyes that got brought to the forefront due to the tanned skin. Her dark brown hair was placed back behind her ears. She was wearing a traditional sleeveless monk attire that went all the way to her knees. Her feet were bare and rough, indicating a life lived without the comfort of shoes. Her muscled back and arms were on clear display on a bulky frame.
"Thyra, please show some proper respect to a member of the royal family of Ceviel. We're royals, how we act and what we say reflects not only us as individuals, but also our nation. I've been trying to teach you this for over 200 years now, but it seems you never learn," a tired and sighing voice could be heard from behind Thyra.
The woman was so small that she disappeared behind Thyra. She had a diamond-shaped face with dark lips and pearly white teeth. Her nose was straight and led to upturned ocean-blue eyes. Her dark skin was hidden beneath a sand-colored sleeveless robe that even covered her feet. She wore a brown belt that held on to a large brown pouch, likely containing healing herbs or vials. Her shoulders were hidden by a cloak of white fur that was meant to keep her somewhat warm. In her left hand, she was holding onto a small crystalline staff that was covered by a red gem, likely a ruby. In her right hand, she was holding onto a book that she hugged to her body, a book covered in various ancient glyphs.
"Oh c'mon Chipmunk, you know I never cared for traditions. Besides, we're not throwing him in jail to anguish over his fate, so I say we're providing him enough hospitality as is." A seemingly well-practiced rebuke, quite clearly showcasing that they had this back and forth many times over.
"Call me Adina Gunnulf when in the company of people not part of our family," an instant reply came from Adina as she raised her staff and gave a light smack at the back of Thyra's head. A smack that was shrugged off like it was nothing.
"Good day, Sir Altamira, as you've likely picked up from the conversation with my lovely family member, I am Adina Gunnulf, the heart of the Gunnulf Royal family. I wish to express my genuine apology for the way Thyra Gunnulf handled and talked about you. I've sent orders for a rider to be dispatched to your family's royal palace with a message of your actions. Till we receive word from your family, I would like to offer you the hospitality of the Gunnulf Royal palace. We will provide you with all the luxuries and accommodations worthy of your stature." She bowed as she maintained a neutral and respectful tone.
"You've insulted me and now you wish to offer me hospitality? Do you think I will accept them from a heart? That is an insult in and of itself, I expect at bare minimum to receive them from the ace or anchor of your family, and I much prefer them from the vil.. queen herself. I demand a meeting with her, as a member of the Altamira royal family." The fat count stood up and looked down upon Adine with his tall and large frame.
"She is currently unavailable, but I think she will be back soon. Follow me to the headquarters and we will have some maids provide a warm bath for you while we wait upon her return. This is all I can offer you at the moment." she bowed once again while maintaining the same neutral and respectful tone. Once she finished bowing, she turned towards the guards surrounding the fat count.
"Cut loose all his restraints but the one for his wings," she ordered and walked ahead to the headquarters while the fat count followed when his restraints were swiftly cut loose.
Once at the headquarters she ordered several of the maids to prepare a warm bath and a fresh set of clothes for the fat count, an order the count gladly followed as he followed the maids, his eyes roaming over their figures. While the fat count was taking his time bathing, Adina and Thyra went inside the headquarters tent to get caught up on the state of the battlefield and prepare for the return of Ase.
"Svend, how is the situation on the battlefield? I assume you've already finished the headcount of the soldiers and confirmed the number of casualties both on our side and that on the side of Cerviel?" Adina questioned, looking at one of the five people that stayed inside the tent when she went to Thyra to save the fat count.
Svend was a tall, muscular white man born in the Theocracy of Thal, a country in the far south-west of the world. He had a heart-shaped face, with a straight nose that led into deep-set emerald-colored eyes. His chin was covered by a thick unruly brown beard that went to the base of his neck. His hair was cut short and styled into a wavy pattern on the top of his head. He was wearing full silver plate armor alongside a tabard that proudly displayed the heraldry of house Havard. On his back was a large two-handed sword and at his leather belts hung a shortsword that he would use if he was fighting in a formation.
"According to the headcount done by General Andor, General Halvar, and General Abasi, the casualties stand at 20 step 1 and around 10 step 2's. We have lost 0 from step 3 and higher. The enemy casualties stand around 5000 and we have imprisoned around 40.000. A rough estimate of 20 to 30 thousand quickly fled back to the Cerviel Holy land when they saw the good Sir Altamira captured by Thyra." Svend replied in a deep and downcast voice. The loss of soldiers of any step is a loss of capital and time, not even mentioning about the families they left behind.
"I still don't understand why they charged at us with hardly any step warriors. I've heard tales of the fat count, whose name I think is Ferrando, but his vanity, and let us call it tendency to misjudge, doesn't do the rumors any justice. It is far worse than I've heard. Perhaps he realized his family sent him away to the far corners of their kingdom to prevent the reputational damage he would inflict on them in their capital?" a quiet and thoughtful voice was heard from next to Svend.
She was the final member of the Gunnulf Family alongside Svend, namely Bodil Havard. She had the same features as Svend. A heart-shaped face, with a straight nose and deep-set ruby-colored eyes. Her light-blonde hair was tied up into a long ponytail that almost reached her waist, and by god was she tall. She stood almost as tall as Svend himself, while Svend cleared the 2 meters 20, she was just shy of it by 5 cm, coming in at a height of 215 cm. She wore a dark blue mage robe that was protected by crystal armor at her hips, shoulders, chest, and hands. She wore leather boots that disappeared beneath the robe. At her waist was a leather belt with a bright blue gem embedded into the middle. In her hands, she was cradling a sleeping baby, wrapped in blue cloth.
A tall married couple that the Gunnulf family met around 50 years ago, when they were campaigning around the northern part of their territory after an uprising of a powerful Jarl. They met them when they were recruiting volunteers for the battle of Sundsvall. During the campaign, they hit it off quite well, and eventually, they asked to be taken into service. During the negotiations, Ase decided to give them her last two scrolls of Lordship, bringing them into their family and copying a portion of their power to Ase.
"What the bloody idiot did matters not, we won the battle. We're in the process of stripping away the armor, weapons, and any other type of battle equipment from their forces. I doubt we will be able to hold onto the sword that Mr fancy pants had, but we can at least negotiate a price for his release and weapon. Bloody idiot, not gathering the proper intel on the enemy's forces and just charging in blind. I wonder how he managed to live that long." Thyra wondered out loud as she shifted her gaze to the tent the Cerviel royal family member was taking a bath in.
"I doubt he went to the Academy of war. He strikes me more as the person who stayed inside the royal palace all his life feasting on banquets and timid maids.. or butlers if he is into that. Regardless, Ase should be back soon and we can then discuss the next set of plans. The rider I sent out should arrive at their capital in around a month. But I highly doubt they will come for his release soon, from the intel Hui-Ying gave me, they are currently at war with the Hupomenó kingdom. So expect around 4-5 years of having to provide for him" Adina sighed as she looked at the map in the center of the table. She had been given overall command of the battlefield, but she delegated the actual war to Thyra, Svend, and the other generals in the army.
"It doesn't matter, I found something far more interesting on their side of the border," a gentle and authoritative voice was heard while the tent flaps were opened.
"Welcome back Ase/My Queen!" Everyone greeted as Ase went inside the tent.
"At ease generals, please exit the headquarters. Take every soldier around the headquarters and make sure a radius of 200 meters with the tent at the center is clear of people." Ase commanded, sat down, and placed something hidden by a cloak on the table.
What it was, the generals could not tell, but they knew their queen better than most and didn't linger to ask questions. While the generals were exiting the tent; Hui-Ying, Astrid and Gunhilf entered the tent as well and took their place around the center table.
"What did you find, Ase? It was not like you to suddenly run off without informing us of the reason why." Adina inquired curiously, she loved unraveling mysteries and she wholeheartedly believed that one-day curiosity would be her downfall.
While everyone was gathering around the table, Ase quickly scanned the surroundings and saw the generals finished their job of clearing the area. Several gasps were heard when she slowly removed the cloak and revealed the sleeping baby in the cradle. Some were louder than others, especially the ones from Thyra and Adina, for they quickly saw the same resemblance to Aros that Ase, Hui-Ying, Gunhilf, and Astrid saw. Even tears started to flow slowly down their faces.
"As you can see, I sensed a Lord Child. One that looks just like Aros, our husband that died 250 years ago. He, just like Aros, came down from the river that flows from Mt. Sannindi." Ase explained as she checked once more to see if the child was still sleeping, which the child was.
"Why would anyone abandon a Lord Child? That makes no sense, even if you're poor, you can guarantee yourself a life of plenty if you bring your child to a royal family or high-ranking nobility." Adina contemplated as she slowly sat down.
"Especially one like this, take a closer look at the scrolls. I see three divine-level scrolls, three gold scrolls, and one silver scroll. Even Aros and I only had a single divine-level scroll, but three is quite unheard of. Any royal family would kill for this child, ourselves included. If properly cared for, he can become a tremendous shield for any kingdom or empire, let alone a source of future lords" Ase continued from Adina's contemplation and drew everyone's attention to the scrolls.
"We had a conversation while traveling back to the headquarters about adopting him into our family. Astrid, Hui-Ying, Gunhilf, and I are in favor of it, but I would like to hear the opinion of you four as well. Adina, Thyra, Svend, and Bodil, your opinions, please?" Ase inquired as she looked across the four of them. She already knew the answers of Adina and Thyra, this was their chance to relive their memories of Aros. The ones in question were Svend and Bodil. They never met Aros, but she knew they were kindhearted and would gladly adopt the boy into their family if the Gunnulf family didn't.
"YES!" came the quick and emotional reply from Adina and Thyra, the tears swelling and falling down their faces as a large smile started to form on their face.
"I obviously can't say no if all of you are starting to cry, have mercy on my soul please." Svend laughed and gave his approval and turned to his wife who was silent and contemplating. His laughter died down quickly and was noticed by everyone else as they all turned towards Bodil, who slowly started to show a dangerous smile and a glint in her eyes. This was bad news, Svend knew this from all those years of being together, he knew he knew.. that Ase would pay for this.
"Oh lovely, I would gladly give my approval, but my dear Ase, can you tell me who will nurse him? I hope you don't have me in mind. I have my hands full with feeding Estrid, I can't take care of another mischievous child." Bodil asked as she slowly turned her head towards Ase and a smile that threatened to break her lips started to show.
"Why are you like this.... Bodil? I will gladly pay whatever you have in mind. But let's leave that conversation for later when we get back to our home." Ase sighed and made the quick decision to just agree with the devilish woman. Where Svend found her and how he survived being with her for over 50 years, she didn't want to know.
"Is everyone okay if I name the child?" she asked as she stood up and looked everyone in the eyes. She turned towards the baby who was waking up and smiled.
"Go ahead Ase, we all know what his name is going to be" the entire Gunnulf family answered. They knew what this meant to Ase, as she was the only one who got pregnant by Aros just before they went to the Mt. of Sannindi.
Ase's smile turned even bigger and nodded to thank everyone. She slowly moved her right hand to the baby's face and cradled him just before her chest area.
"Welcome to the family, Erik Gunnulf" as she slowly kissed his forehead and let loose a few tears that fell on the baby.