Reality did hit this morning. First I thought it was a dream. Then I thought I just drank way too much. Then I thought it was a nightmare. And now I am staring at Kenzie with a million questions running through my head. I don't believe there is a chance in hell that what Kenzie said is true. How could my whole life be a lie? How could such a big part of my family's life be hidden from me for so long? And really for what reason?
I try to not take it out on Kenzie, I understand the situation she was in. We spent years staying up at night with her mom, who we thought was just off her rocker sad about Kenzie's dad passing. She told us intricate details of the lives of werewolves, but we thought they were just stories. Just a fantasy a poor grieving woman lived in to cope. I guess Kenzie just got a ticket into the world a lot sooner than I did. And under the orders of her Alpha, she wasn't allowed to share it with me.
As I look into her eyes, I see the regret and hurt the situation put her through, and she knows I forgive her. My family on the other hand, will have a force to reckon with. Further down that rabbit hole of anger, I began to question Nick. If he is a werewolf as well, that means he has a mate. He has a mate somewhere out there, and chose to forge love with me. I feel sorry for the unlucky girl who finds him as her mate one day, or maybe that will cause him to change. I doubt it though.
I am lost in my thoughts for quite some time. Processing and relating each experience I have had in life, both here and at home, to the stories Kenzie's mom Angela told us. It makes sense, it lines up quite perfectly, and I become embarrassed of how naive I had been all those years. It is not my fault though. And I guess this is a much easier transition than I would have had if those stories weren't implanted in my head since a young age.
Kenzie has fallen asleep next to me, I'm sure a mixture of exhaustion from the night and the worry of telling me the truth has gotten to her. I feel exhausted as well, my whole world has taken a turn. I feel as if everyone I spent my life trusting has been the least deserving of it. There is one person however that has been looking over me since the moment we met... Carter.
I will be forever thankful for the patience he has given me once discovering I am his mate. From both Angela and Kenzie, I have heard that the desire and drive to be with your mate hits you like a truck you never saw coming. Yet he stayed back, and let me approach him. He fought every instinct he had to make sure I was not scared.
But with this new found life I have been dropped into there is still so much I do not know. I want to know Carter for who he is within his pack, and within himself. I don't want him to hold back anymore. And I know I will have to be the one to tell him that.
With that I get up off of the bed, on a mission to find Carter. To my surprise, he is sitting on the couch in the living room, as if he was waiting for me. I send him a smile, which he immediately returns making my heart flutter. I walk up to couch and sit with my legs crossed facing him. Without a word, he turns towards me giving me his full attention.
"Hi" I say, I can already feel the blush rising to my cheeks.
"Hello Princess," he responds. That does it for me, I am flushed with red. He laughs and reaches up placing his hand on my cheek.
"What are you doing today?" I ask.
"Well I have already done my pack duties this morning. So the question is what are we going to do today?"
I smile again, not that it ever truly left my face. The feeling just his presence brings me is everything I have ever wanted in a relationship. It almost makes me feel as if this is why I always felt my relationship with Nick was so wrong. Somehow deep inside I knew there was someone out there who I was really supposed to be with. Someone who would treat me the way I deserve.
"How about we go get some food, and then take Denver out to run around?" Carter says.
"That sounds amazing" I respond, "let me go get changed really quick." As I stand up off of the couch, he grabs onto my waist and pulls me onto his lap. I look at him questioningly, and he leans forward planting his lips on mine. What he may have wanted to be an innocent peck, turned into a heated kiss much like the one from the kitchen before.
I have to pull back from him, both of us attempting to catch out breath. One more minute, and I would have ripped his clothes off of him. I'm not sure he wants to go that far yet. I think about asking him, but I am too embarrassed. We haven't even been on our first date yet. Mate or not, I don't want him thinking I'm a whore.
I give him just a peck on the lips this time and he runs his fingers back through his hair. Totally not helping my situation. I feel the warm pool form in my core, and I know he can smell it now. I get up and run back into my room where Kenzie is sleeping, and quickly changed my clothes. But I take a minute, standing with my back pressed up against the door and my eyes closed. The ability for him to do one thing, not even entirely sexual, and for me to be so turned on is quite embarrassing for me. I know it's normal for mates, but until last night, I just thought I was the most incredibly horny person on the planet.
Just let it all happen naturally. Be yourself, your true self, not any version another person has brought out of you all of these years. I say to myself. That's exactly what I have to do.