"Remind me why you gave me the trouble to go out here in the first place?"
"It's a surprise, that's why I never told you the details in the note."
"You could have at least texted me."
"Exactly, that is why we're here."
We stopped by the barrow. Thus, we entered.
We killed every bandit squatting in this place, not to mention the dangers behind the shadows. Such as the eldritch undead creatures beyond mortal comprehension, that once attacked, a part of your sanity will be lost. That is why my sire, Voltaire, taught me how to create a potion he calls Laudanum, an elixir that is potent for creating a psychoactive effect in the mind to ease insanity. He says that the scholar from the central region in the city of Shanksville was kidnapped by a bunch of bandits, and he somehow took the bounty to bring him back.
Thank the Celestials that this is the first time he will not kill random innocent civilians for no apparent reason. Then, once we finally found him, the robe-hooded old man that stood before me was the court wizard himself from the city halls.
"Delvin, it's been a while." Voltaire speaks to him.
"Oh, thank the Celestials! I am to be rescued!"
"Not quite exactly. The bounty was just information, I had no intention of rescuing you, in fact, I do need your help with my Internet Service back in the Underworld. So, we're going to kidnap you."
"WHAT THE INFERNO ARE YOU DOING, VOLTAIRE?!"
"Silence, my little lamb. Come, now."
"I hope you have a good reason for this. Sometimes you are so unpredictable, every time we are out adventuring, you always do something crazy."
"And every time I do such 'crazy' things, do they all have a good cause?"
"Well… yes."
"Then I might be chaotic good, unlike you for being too neutral for your own good. Which is why everybody likes you. If someone is out of the nine personality alignments other than true neutral, some people will love that person, some people will hate that person, but if you become in between everyone will agree with you. Just like how some poetic authors keep themselves anonymous, because if they are this certain race, some people will love them, some will hate. If they are this certain gender, some people will hate them, some of them will love. That is why so many people like you. No one even knows your gender, your race, or your alignment. You are the TRUE NEUTRAL!"
"What the bloody inferno are you even talking about? You know what, let's just go. Fine, kidnap that person for infernal I care. Just please have a good reason for it."
"No problemo~, no come! Let us go! FORWARD MY HORSE! HEE-YAH! NEIGH MY HORSE! NEIGH!"
"There is no horse… we are still inside the dungeon, sire. You are taking too much laudanum. Maybe I should be the good city guard and you're the bad city guard. Come, Delvin. I'll take care of you. I promise to take you back home, he's just had too many sanity elixirs and it is giving him the opposite effect due to overdose. We just need your help."
"Oh, good cop bad cop, huh?" says Voltaire seductively.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you! With whatever you need, I shall help! I could not take down a kind adventurer's request for saving me!" says Delvin, the court wizard.
"I, ugh… I am not kind. I just do what I do. It is what it is. For whatever reason, I have none. I just do what I do. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't care about rewards. Now come with us. I promise that Voltaire is kind at heart, he helped me help him save the world once."
"You are so kind, young lad. If there's anything more that I could do than help with your internet service, I am at your service with other more things! I am at your disposal." Delvin bows elegantly.
Then, we headed our ways to the underworld where Voltaire belongs. Somehow, the court wizard Delvin already fixed it better than Voltaire could. Wow!
That was fast.
"All you had to do was to unplug and plug it back on." Advised Delvin.
"Oh! How could I forget that is the only solution?! Back then, that was the most common solution." Exclaimed Voltaire, realizing his utter stupidity and ignorance.
"What?" expresses Delvin in puzzled confusion.
"Oh, nothing! Nothing! Thank you! My dear child, come! Take this man home, and the bounty reward is yours, you can have it. This is all I ever needed!"
"Wait, so without the internet service, we cannot message?"
"Exactly, that is why I sent you a note. Twice actually. The first one was back when you were in the eastern world."
"I don't need the payment; I just want to help. I just do what I do. That's enough for me, I guess?"
"Well, in the case…." Voltaire says in a malicious tone with a smirk. His blood boiled to exploding, showing his metamorphosis form into the ultimate vampire. Then, he devoured Delvin entirely within one bite.
"Why the FUCK would you do that?!"
Then, he reverted to normal and spoke to me, saying, "I'm glad you are finally getting used to me by speaking in my slang language."
"I'm going home."
Then, every day, Voltaire would text me, begging for more adventures, which was getting annoying. I went to visit him, shouted at him, and told him I didn't want to be around him anymore. We do these wild adventures every day when I just want to retire from all these. Then, he spoke to me as he wept sorrowful tears.
"You know, I had an enjoyable time with you. You see, back in the ancient era when technology used to exist everywhere, it was dark, and everyone hated me, I had no friends, my family hated me, everyone rejected and abandoned me, threw me away locked up in a psychiatric ward and was tortured every single day. Then, since the nuclear war happened, everyone died except me. I've felt lonely for centuries until I finally meet a kindred spirit that I never thought could be my first true friend. I'm sorry I got attached to you. From now on, we will be no more. I'm sorry, I deeply am sincerely apologizing for the cruel and vile evil things I've done to those poor people. And for me being an absolute nuisance to you. Everyone saw me as a villain back then when I wanted to be kind to everyone. Every time I meet a new good friend, I would easily lose them because of my unpredictable actions. But now, I am going to lose you, this… easily…."
I felt terrible for him as I sighed. But I made the neutral approach of saying everyone needs space once in a while. I promise I will go out to adventure with him another time if the day is appropriate.