"I'm sorry Raven we just can't afford it", that one sentence ruined me.
I'm raven caster 18 year old highschool senior at lancer pasce high and captain of the all girls hockey team.
I just found out that my lovely parents used my college fund to pay for a trip to Hawaii for their 20 year anniversary, because and I quote " your just going to get a full ride anyway" but unfortunately that didn't happen, as it so happens the one college I applied to doesn't have a girls hockey team, most of the colleges I applied to don't.
"don't you understand you ruined me I can't got to school you've taken away the one thing I've wanted my entire life just for a simple pleasure" I all but screamed.
"how dare you speak to me and your father like this its not our fault your getting rejected" mother whined at me, dad just sat there avoiding the conversation all together.
"ugh I can't believe you guys you never care about how your actions effect me" i huffed.
"we do care believe me I mean we raised you didn't we?" she said with tears in her eyes. Mom was so dramatic.
"well no matter what you did you're still the reason I can't go to school" I replied trying hard to keep any tears from coming to my eyes, I turned from them and grabbed my back pack flinging it onto my shoulder and storming out of the house slamming the door for emphasis.
how could they do this to me? There only child, how could they just take the money grandma left for me? and for such a dumb reason, my thoughts are everywhere as I get in my red Ford xl I have to slam the crooked door hard to get it to close, when iput the key in the ignition I'm hoping to god it turns over, my beat up old trusty truck had been through it, but dispite it's age and current condition he roars to life. thank God , I pull out of the driveway barely missing the mailbox I crank the windows down blasting music and singing along to it my favorite song that's been stuck in my head for the last month is by The Smiths the words coming from inside the car and I sing off key to it. I haven't sung this much since middle school I guess the stress makes me want to sing.
the drive to the school wasn't to long about 15 minutes at most without traffic.
I arrive on the road in front of the highschool and park behind some other cars, I step out of the vehicle with my hands in the pockets of my blue jeans and a baggy hoodie zipped up over a yellow tank top. I take the stairs up into the front office where a few of my teammates are waiting.
they all gave me a once over then smirked and whispered something amongst themselves pointing to the big bear of a man hunched over a piece of paper.
"Raven come here man I need help with my math homework" Thomas calls me over.
"sure man lets go". I couldn't help but laugh Thomas never finishes his homework before class starts I like to joke that he's taken to many hits to the head.
" what do you need help with today buddy??" I ask trying to hide a smirk.
" this trig shit is hard bro I just can't get the last two equations" Thomas sighs scratching his head with his pencil.
"here let me see" I jump up and sit next to him on the steps grabbing his homework from his hand and finishing the last two problems for him, it was not a teaching day.
"okay all done I wrote it on scrap paper so you can just copy it on the sheet in your handwriting so Mr. Malcolm doesn't get suspicious" smiling I handed it back to Thomas, but in that exact moment both of us dropped the smile from our faces because standing at the rail just opposite of us was Mr. Malcolm himself.
"Ms caster what a pleasure to see you helping our dear Thomas, can you please come with me?" he spoke through clenched teeth with the most fake smile on his face I was dead.
"yes sir" my voice small with embarrassment.
"and what about me sir do I need to follow you too?" Thomas asked pointing to himself with a clueless expression plastered on his face,
"no please just head to class I'll deal with you later god knows you need that grade let's hope the rest of your work matches" sighed Mr Malcolm running his hand down his face already done with the day.
I watched as Thomas and the others run down the hall to class as I stayed back with the teacher.
he walked down the steps to stand next to me with a disappointed look on his face. Mr Malcolm was only 25 years old and quite a handsome man dark brown hair and blue eyes I would be lying if I said I didn't find him attractive.
"so I'm getting detention aren't I?" I asked sadly,
"oh um actually no.... we need to talk about college I heard what happened" Mr Malcolm patted me gently on the head.
"Thomas needs some help every now and again anyway and I can usually always tell when you do his homework" he laughed
" your a good friend raven"
"oh .... thank you" I could already know my face had to be beet red.
me and Mr Malcolm walked to the other wing of the school to his personal office but not only was he my home room teacher he also helped with college placement and counseling.
we got to his office it was just a bit bigger then a broom closet only his small desk and two chairs could fit barely.
he had a few mounted shelves with file boxes filled to the brim to the point of spilling over.
he had an old box of doughnuts sitting on the side of his desk plus at least 4 disposable coffee cups in various places in the room it made me want to clean and organize but he always told everyone that entered the space that if it was clean he can't focus, he reminds me of a giant teenager sometimes.
" okay raven please take a seat" he offered, I went to sit but crumbs already occupied the seat so I bent down and grabbed his trash can and brushed them into it then returned the trashcan to it's spot and took my seat.
"oh I'm sorry I should have tidied up a bit" Mr Malcolm now had a light red hue on his cheeks.
he coughed in to his hand and then pulled a file down from his death trap of a shelf.
" okay so I heard you didn't get any of the scholarships you applied for? is that right?" he questioned flipping through the papers in the file.
"yes and I can't afford tuition anymore Mr Malcolm I have no idea what I'm about to do I mean I have good grades and I'm an athlete I just don't understand why I can't get excepted" I trailed off at the end feeling my eyes beginning to fill with tears my emotions taking over.
" what happened to the money your grandma had for your college fund wasn't that supposed to be available to you??" he handed me his handkerchief from his shirt pocket without even looking up from his file.
"well that's no longer a choice" that's when I broke
" my mom and dad spent it all over a month ago on a trip to Hawaii" I began to cry silently tears running down my face.
"wait! what! no that's not okay you have to be joking right?!?" Mr Malcolm looked at me with wide eyes.
"n.....no I..I don't know what I'm g...going to do" my voice began to tremble all my emotions came forward, with Mr Malcolm I felt comfortable in his presence to just be myself completely I know he wouldn't judge me.
" shhhhh it's gonna be ok I'll help you figure this all out we have the whole summer to come up with a solution did you apply for any schools with a hockey team?"he asked
" yes b..but they only have an all male team so I got rejected" I sniffled
" also my parents make to much to get a school grant I've done so much research I feel like my whole future is fucked! if I was a boy I would have got in." I exclaimed
" yeah I hate to admit it but a guy would have an easier time...." Mr Malcolm trailed off with an odd look on his face then pulled down one of his file boxes he threw the lid off and began tearing through it tossing files everywhere looking very determined.
"uhh Mr Malcolm?? you okay"
"shhhh quiet I have an idea!!" he all but yelled
"Aha!!!" he shouted
I scooted back a bit when he slammed a file down in front of me with an excited expression,
"This! do you see this???!! this is how we get you in!" he was very excited and I was very confused.
"what is that?" I asked
"this is a student that moved back to Germany earlier this year do you remember hans Clark?"
"um yes he was on the boys hockey team with Thomas he was defense" I remember him his father was a guest lecturer for the university, he was here for the first 4 months of school then went home to finish school in Germany.
"well he got into Ardmore university, a full ride" I didn't understand what that had to do with me.
"that's great for him Mr Malcolm but I don't see how that can help me" confusion noticable in my voice
"you said if you were a boy you would have gotten in well what if you are a boy?" he looked very pleased with his plan but I on the other hand was taken aback at the Ludacris thought,
" Mr Malcolm that's a horrible idea I...I can't how the hell would I even manage to get away with that?!"
" Hans and you look very alike to be honest you may be a bit short but the dean never met him in person, I say we go for it and I'll help" he placed his large hands over mine his eyes pleading but, I could never do it I would be found out immediately I just knew it, I looked way to feminine.
"no I can't do it I'll just see if I can get a job and pay for school somehow" was he crazy??
"um how are you gonna make enough for the tuition in time for enrollment?? The first semester alone is over 100,000?" he asked one eyebrow cocked.
"I'm not sure but I'm gonna try" I whisper, standing up I started to open the door to leave when I felt Mr Malcolm grab my wrist I turn to face him he was right in my face inches away.
he brushes a hair out of my face looking directly into my soul it seemed,
"please raven just think about it please it's a full ride with housing" he said softly with a sad expression on his face.
I couldn't stop myself from blushing he was so close I don't think he even knows what he's doing to me he's just so cute.
"okay Mr Malcolm I'll think about it but I just don't think it's a good idea" I pulled away and headed straight to the Hall bathroom, I opened and shut the door quickly locking it behind me what the hell is he thinking how could I impersonate someone just to get into Ardmore university.