Hard work upon a field, something Amon never thought he would be so grateful to do, for it muffled his conflicting thoughts. Each time the shovel struck the ground, a thought was pushed aside. A child deserves to with its mother even if the mother out of fear made the mistake of abandoning him. Even so if she comes back then all should be forgiven.
The bond would only strengthen after tasting such regret. A regret Amon knew all too well, a regret that would come back to him if he lets Little One go.
" But this time he would be with his real mother and it's because Little One wants it to be so... shouldn't I be happy for him then?"
Amon wondered within his heart as sweat rolled down like tears upon his face. With such overwhelming conflicting feelings, Amon wouldn't be surprised if they were tears. Never before had he ever felt such uneasiness from just the thought of not knowing Little One's well being. A well being that he knew wasn't in Little One's hands but in the hands of the helper that he or Philomel had picked to deliver Little One back to his mother. A mother that might or might not be waiting there even if so there was always Emma but then it wasn't want Amon wanted.
Amon's shovel struck the dirt hard and hit roots.
" Does it matter what I want?"
Amon whispered as he paused for a moment.
" Good evening Mr Amon!"
Gale chimed with a waving hand while carrying Little One in the other. The three other boys all turned to him, juggling their picnic items in hand. Little One with clear blue eyes and a babbling mouth waved at Amon as well. Just that and suddenly all uneasiness fades away, replaced by happiness and temporary relief that Little One was ok and had fun.
" Little One wanted to return before you finished, he didn't want to miss you."
Gale informed when he noticed Amon looked exhausted and questioned Amon's ability to register what was happening through the dizzying haze and heavy breaths of exhaustion.
" Well then! That's all the reason anyone needs to be quitting early! Wash up new bee! You have a kid waiting on you!"
Hazel ordered as she tossed a wet towel at Amon's face. Amon reflexes didn't kick in, he only managed to catch the towel after it hit his face. Even then his mind could only register how cooling it felt and after wiping his face in it, did he process Hazel's words. Shuffling his body like a zombie, he walks up to the bucket of water that Hazel had prepared for him which rested on the rim of the well. Leaving the shovel leaning against the well, he wipe his hands clean and drank before dumping the whole bucket over his head. Relishing the cooling water against his skin, feeling refreshed, he squeezed the wet towel, drying himself quick and dashing up to Gale's gang.
" How was it?! Did you have much fun Little One?"
Amon joyfully questioned as he lifts Little One up from Gale's arms and onto his shoulder.
" Squ - eaky!"
Little One chimed with his hands spread out wide and instantly wrapped his arms around Amon's neck, hugging Amon as soon as he was close enough to do so.
"* Laughs* That's great to hear! Did you make some new friends?"
Amon asked through a grin but turned his gaze from Little One to Gale.
" Oh! Yes! Plenty! We played with all the other younger children in the barn before the Raven brothers invited us along to their picnic. He did have a nap after eating and woke up like an hour ago. Pretty sure he has become part of our gang now. Everyone is looking forward to playing with him tomorrow. "
Gale informed much to Amon's suprise. Amon couldn't help but wonder if it was because child make friends easily or they all had taken charm to Little One's squeaking just like Gale had.
" That's wonderful to hear! Good job Little One."
Amon rubbed Little One's back as he praised causing Little One to squeal in delight.
" Well I best get going, Dr Storm is going to wake up soon and the Raven brothers wanted to check his doctor skills out after hearing the discovery of yesterday. They are pretty sure it's shaman magic and there's no other way I can convince them."
Gale laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"*Laughing* Good luck with that. It's hard to tell apart magic without its glowing sparks but not all magic users have enough mana to pull off such a feat. "
Amon reminded as he patted Gale on the shoulder.
" Gale! Hurry up! We gotta catch him before he's drunk!"
One of the Raven brothers called him from a short distance away.
" Ah! See you later at the inn Mr Amon!"
Gale waved as he quickly caught up with the Raven brothers.
" Cya soon!"
Amon waved back before turning to look at Little One. Little One with his cheek laying against Amon's shoulder, silently studying Amon's face. His clear blue eyes against the orange light of a sun setting was such a peaceful sight. Amon silently took in the sight, engraving every detail into his heart. With a small smile Amon rubs Little One's back and sat down on the nearby porch of the tool shed.
Looking around the field, feeling the sense of tranquility and peace. He noticed Hazel in the distant carrying buckets of tomatoes and storing those away in the cabin sized food shed.
" Little One?"
" Squ?"
" There's something I have to tell you."
Amon continue without looking at the child as he watched the breeze sweep through the field.
" You might be too young to even understand what I'm saying which is why I'm taking advantage of this and telling you now."
Amon softly says with a scoff.
" Yeah, I know I'm a coward for doing so but I do not know if I'll ever have another chance in the future. For what I'm about to tell you, will change everything. You probably won't remember this but I realised that this is more towards my decision than yours or Philomel's.
The truth is... I and Philomel didn't find you abandoned along our travels. We stole you from your crib at a temple. Back then our goal was the miracle child the Messiah but we didn't know you would be sharing a crib with him. We couldn't tell which was who and stole you. Thinking... believing you were the Messiah.
I even made a promise as well as made you promise me something. I promised to do all I can to raise you as a dark elf, a beast of darkness. In hopes that you'll see that we aren't all bad just because we allow Demon's to live within us, doesn't make us evil. We did so to save our people... to save all elves during the God war. Little did we know the ones we saved, saw us as monsters and cast us out. That was the sacrifice of my ancestors, a decision they made...
Even though it's unfair here I am centuries later paying the price of a decision I never made but those before me did. I never been asked to be born a dark elf if there was a way to become back a light elf... If there was a choice for peace within the elf kind... I would gladly take it... Unfortunately there isn't...
But that doesn't mean I wanna die in the name of peace and allow light elves to purge me and my people... I don't want to be born just to die paying a price for a choice I didn't make. I want to experience all the world has to offer just like everyone else. For that... for survival and a slightly longer future...
Even if you aren't the Messiah, it doesn't change that you're a light elf and I want to uphold my promise to you. To raise you in the way of a dark elf but... your true place isn't with me... it isn't with me or Philomel... A light elf living amongst dark elves especially when none are understanding... is probably the worse than any curse in the world... Being treated like an outcast and bullied... your whole life... that's not a life I want you to have...
Your true place is with your mother if she will have you or at least with Emma who lives with other light elves. At least then you wouldn't feel so.... different, know where you come from and the tradition of your people.
I understand and know how important this all is for you but it doesn't change what I want...
Forgive me for being selfish but I can't let you go... I don't have the will nor the courage to... Even if it's just for a little longer, let me hold on to you until this mission is over and I'll personally see you to your mother. In the event she won't take you then I'll see you back to Emma. Do not doubt but of course I'll try to turn you into a beast of darkness every step of the way even though it's impossible to become one without being born into it or signing a contract with a demon. Even so, it doesn't mean I won't try. "
Amon says the last line with a small laugh before pausing for a moment and watching the clouds drift by.
" No matter how much time has passed... I will forever hold you to your promise even if it's extremely shallow of me. Out of every, I truly wish you'll always know... always remember that you are one of us... I pray for it to be so... hopefully there's a god up there willing to accept the prayer of a dark elf.
If only..."
Amon trailed off for a moment, he turns to look at Little One clinging to his shirt. The same eyes studying Amon's face.
" If only I was more greedy and selfish to have the heart to keep you all to myself."
Amon softly whispered as he nuzzled Little One's cheek.
If only
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