"Fortunately, the Count will have pulled them away with a nearby distraction."
"And what's that?"
"Another fire."
"That's bright." Flames dance above a nearby residence as we pass by.
"Hopefully, that fire should help cover for this building burning down as well. It'll look like the fire spread or something." I push open the doors to the unguarded warehouse.
"No one's going to believe that. These buildings are too far apart." Inari denies me as she flies out of my pocket, covered in lint.
"Here, let me help get some of the lint off you." I reach out a hand, but she bats it away.
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much." A strong but focused gust of wind easily removes the offending material.
"That was the coolest possible way to dust yourself off."
"Shut up."
"See, here's the problem, I'm nice and funny to you, but you're just mean to me. This isn't a healthy relationship."
"I found the mana stones. We're leaving."
"You're welcome?"
"All you did was walk."
"That was by far the most crucial part of the plan. Were you even paying attention?"
"I thought this was the most important part?" Inari snaps her fingers, and the center of the room bursts into flames.
"I'll give it to you, that's a very important part of the plan, but you wouldn't have been able to do that if I didn't walk you here. You see, what I did was really the crux of the operation. All the moving parts were centered around me properly executing the walk."
"Are you done?" Inari asks as she pours the container of pure mana stones into the magic bag at my side.
"No. I have plenty of complaints that have yet to be raised. First of all, there's no way that my pocket had that much lint in it." I close the doors behind me as the inferno blazes behind me.
"Are you accusing me of secretly planting lint in your pocket?" Inari slides into my recently delinted pocket.
"That's the only possible explanation. And I see what you're doing. You're just trying to detract from how much I nailed that walk to and from the warehouse."
"Either I point out how stupid your argument is, which would in itself be stupid, or I keep my mouth shut, which opens the opportunity for you to say something even stupider. I lose either way."
"And this is the second complaint I have. You're always so rude. It's entirely unnecessary!"
"It's more than necessary. In fact, I'm going out of my way to tone it down." Inari arises from my pocket as we reach the treeline. Somehow she has even more lint on her than she did last time.
"See! How could you have more on you now than you did last time?!" I yell as I empty the contents of my bag onto the ground.
"I may have been sneaking lint into your pocket," Inari admits.
"Ha! I knew it! You have slandered my name, and I demand compensation!"
"Oh? You're making demands of me?" Inari brushes off the lint as she looks at me. She smirks, and her eyes narrow menacingly.
"Well, it's more just asking nicely, you know, since we're such good friends and all." I laugh nervously as she floats toward me.
"That's too bad. Unfortunately, as fairies, we don't have anything that could be used as recompense."
"Um, that's alright. I'll just take an apology. Or better yet, a firm handshake. I mean, it's really not a big deal or anything." I realize all too late that I've made a mistake.
"No, a crime as cruel as slander deserves harsh retribution. Whatever will I do?"
"I really don't like where this is going."
"All I can give you is my body." Inari tugs at her clothes, revealing her pale shoulder. She turns to peek over her shoulder at me like a predator preparing to pounce upon her prey. I start babbling in a panic to fend her off.
"No, I mean, it's really not a big deal. I mean, people make mistakes all the time. What kind of person would I be if I couldn't take a joke? I mean, we both know it was just a joke, right? There's no reason to take things too far. We're all just kidding, and we're all just friends here, all just joking around." I'm backpedaling away with my hands out in front of me, but she continues to get closer. A mischievous glint reflects from her eyes.
"Oh, am I too old? Maybe you want someone younger? I know you've taken a liking to Woohee."
"Okay, I'm sorry! Please stop! I swear I won't do it again!"
"Careful what you ask for." Inari scoffs and flies away. I remain frozen until she disappears into the woods.
"See you tomorrow, I guess...." My voice trails off near the end of my sentence. I feel like I just dodged a train. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and my palms are covered in sweat. I have a feeling that things would have taken a very violent turn if I didn't respond properly. "How do I keep getting myself in these spots?"
I begin the slow walk back to town as I rethink my life. All the excitement of the night has been drained from my body. The gate guards have long since abandoned their posts due to the multiple fires raging inside the walls, so I easily slip inside. It's just a matter of time until the fluid kinetic mages show up to put out the fire, so I'm not concerned about it spreading. There shouldn't be any casualties either because both buildings were deserted. I eventually end up back at our house and head down to the basement. I know I told Shinobu I was going to my parent's house today, but this is much closer, and I just want to go to bed. I crawl under my sheets and brace myself for the chaos sure to unfold come morning.
"It's worse than I thought." I cringe at the absolute pandemonium that's broken out around town. Townspeople are running through the streets only to be pulled aside and questioned by patrolling soldiers. The air is thick with panic and the sound of crying children. I can see people shouting at each other while waving their arms about. It's hard to believe our little operation had such an effect, but I can't deny what I'm seeing.
[Why is everyone so freaked out?]
A cart passes in front of me, which kicks a piece of paper up into the air. I snatch it as it floats around me. The texture is much smoother than parchment.
[I didn't think anyone had invented paper yet.]
What's even more shocking is the contents written upon it.
'THE FOREST STRIKES BACK!
Late last night, two buildings were set on fire. While the flames did not spread to any surrounding buildings, despite their close proximity, mages on the scene have attributed the attack to the fairies. Both buildings have recently been seized by the Duke's forces, and given that the fairies have never attacked the town before, it's assumed this was done intentionally to reduce their supplies. We caution all citizens to remain calm as the fairies pose no threat to any neutral parties. If the fairies had wanted to damage our town at any point, they certainly wouldn't have waited until an army arrived. The magic at the scene was very difficult to control in spite of the large number of mages working to control the blaze. The fact that the fires were made to be hard to extinguish but not spread shows the power and care the fairies went to harm the Duke's forces without damaging the town proper. It can also be…'