"Why the long face?" I look up at Travis, who's smiling at me. His expression seems slightly exaggerated, probably because he's trying to cheer me up.
"I'm fine." I lie while forcing a smile. He clearly knows I'm faking it and chooses not to dig any further.
"Perfect! Now's no time to be sad! We're conquering a dungeon today! This is what it means to be an Adventurer!" His enthusiastic shouts pull a small grin out of me. I feel the knot in my chest loosen despite myself.
"Yay!" Sakura jumps around excitedly. The air is electric with heated anticipation, and even Josh is smiling. Not wanting to sour the mood, I take a breath to relax my shoulders and throw on my most convincing smile.
"I've heard so many stories about adventurers braving the depths of the deepest dungeons while living with my Mom. Fighting giant monsters, exploring forgotten caverns, finding secret treasure; I can't wait!" Shinobu's eye's light up as she imagines our upcoming quest.
"Alright, I know we're excited, but let's focus on ensuring we've got everything we need," I say as I try to rein the kids in."
"Pfft, I remember my first dungeon conquest." Yuki scoffs. "Act like you've been there before; it's embarrassing."
"But we haven't been there before," I shoot back.
"Still, you should act more composed. I didn't lose my mind the first time I conquered a dungeon," she says as she folds her arm across her chest.
"Well, I'm sorry we don't live our lives like the emotional brick you claim to be. And the fact that you need to shame children into boosting your own ego is pathetic. You need to rethink your life."
"What?!" Her face turns red as I berate her.
"Oh, are you going to beat me up now? I'm sure that will fill the empty hole in your chest for a few minutes. In fact, why don't you just go around beating up all the kids in town? Or are you going to act like you've already done that too?" I lose my temper and lay into the woman in front of me. Fortunately, if she does beat me up, she'll just be proving my point, so I should be safe for the time being. Yuki doesn't seem like the kind of person that likes being told what to do. Her fist clenches on her one remaining arm. I can see a vein pulsing in her forehead as she works through the multi-layered insults poured down upon her.
"I told you not to talk to him." Travis chuckles. "Now, let's all take a deep breath and get ready to depart."
"You're right. I'm sorry for losing my cool there, Yuki. I'm quick to anger when people insult my friends." She glares at me momentarily before walking out of the room. I ignore her continued provocations and turn back to the children. Much to my dismay, the energy that filled the room just moments ago has evaporated.
"Sorry for getting excited," Shinobu mumbles. Her words are like a knife through my already fragile heart.
"You have nothing to apologize for. It's important to feel happy and excited about big achievements in your life. Her inability to celebrate her own successes will only make her miserable in the long run."
"Why would people choose to be miserable?" Sakura asks, clearly perplexed.
"That's an interesting question, Sakura. I'm not entirely sure myself. In all likelihood, it's a defense mechanism they developed to avoid disappointment. If they never feel excited about anything, then they never feel let down. Another option would be a misguided sense of self-superiority. Everyone feels like they're better than the people around them at one thing or another. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it's healthy to have something to hang your hat on, no matter how small it may be. Having some sense of self-superiority allows us to value ourselves and construct our own identity. The problem is if you achieve your sense of self-superiority by putting others down. That's not healthy."
"I think I get it…." Sakura looks up at the ceiling, lost in thought. "Am I better at anything than the people around me?"
She puts a finger on her chin and tilts her head to the side, which makes her look even more adorable than normal. I bite my lips to hold back the stupid grin threatening to engulf my face.
"What do you think?" I ask, mostly just to buy me some time to compose myself.
"I don't know… I like flowers, I guess," she ponders.
"I'd say you're more knowledgeable about flowers than pretty much anyone in the city."
"I don't know as much as my dad. He knows everything."
"I bet he does, but he's not as strong as you. You're a much more talented adventurer than he ever was."
"But I'll never be the best at that either. Some of the high-ranking adventurers are stronger than dragons!" she exclaims.
"Constructing your own identity isn't about being the best at something. Well, I'm sure it is for some people. What's important is to understand your own unique skill set and the value you bring to the table. Your combination of skills and how you apply them are what make you special," I elaborate.
"Oh, okay!" Sakura says with a smile. I'm not sure if she understands what I'm saying or is just happy about being called special, but I take it as a win either way. This conversation feels like another step forward in repairing our complicated relationship.
"Now, let's check our gear." I take this opportunity to change the subject back to checking our load out. Since I'm already standing in front of Sakura, I decide to check her gear first. All of our things are in neat piles along the wall. "Alright, show me what you've got."
"Okay, here's my belt." She picks her belt up off the floor and hands it to me. I confirm that she has the two Health Potions, two Stamina Potions, one Speed Potion, one Strengthening Potion, one Ghost Walk Potion, and an Ice Rod. Being able to launch powerful Ice spears is a good addition to her long-range arsenal. I hand her belt back and continue my inspection.
"That looks good. What's next?"
"Here's my leg pouch." I grab the small bag that can be attached to ones thigh and look inside. It holds a small knife and four magic grenades with an effective blast radius of about five meters. Unlike modern grenades, which release deadly shrapnel, magic grenades are modified monster cores that only produce a small explosion. The concussive force can still do some damage, but these single-use items are more commonly used as a distraction than damage-dealing weapons.
"Next."
"My quivers." Sakura has recently purchased a second quiver which is specially designed to carry magic arrows. While her standard quiver can comfortably hold up to thirty arrows, the new one can only hold ten. Magic arrows contain monster cores that have runes transcribed upon them and are exceedingly volatile. While the magic grenades have casings that prevent the cores from touching, the magic arrows have no such safety measures. Therefore, the specialized quiver has to have a separate compartment for each individual arrow with some space between them. I am worried she might have some difficulty maneuvering with two quivers on her back, but my concerns proved unfounded as she hardly seems bothered by them at all.
"Anything else?"