I run out of the room before they have a chance to change my mind. The cold winter wind bites at my exposed skin. I pull my jacket tight around my chest and head to the market square. I buy enough food for a couple of days and move to the forest.
[The fact that I'm making other people anxious is really weighing on my mind. I don't know what else to do; lives are at stake, so I have to play everything close to the chest. The best thing I can do is stay safe. I should talk to Sakura about getting more potions once we save up some money.]
I run through the forest and get to the den as fast as I can.
"Hi, Nick!" Shinobu appears at the top of the cave to greet me. She's doubled over with her hand on her knees to catch her breath.
"Hey, are you alright?"
"Yeah… I'm just… doing some laps," she explains to me between breaths.
"Perfect. Are the kids down there?"
"Kids? Aren't we all kids?"
"Yes, well, I just always call them that."
"You're weird." She recovers enough to laugh at me a bit. "They're working out right now."
"Thanks." I walk past her and head into the den. Sakura is spotting Josh while he benches.
"One more, you can do it!" Josh takes a breath and lowers the bar to his chest. His arms are shaking slightly from the strain. It looks like he's about to miss the rep as the bar has stopped moving. "Come on, Josh, push!"
Sakura shouts to encourage him. The bar slowly begins to rise, and he fully extends his arms.
"Ahh!" With a yell, Josh racks the weight and jumps off the bench.
"Great job, Josh!" Sakura excitedly congratulates him.
"Thanks!" I can tell how happy he is by his big goofy smile. I don't know how many reps he did, but the bar has two hundred fifty pounds on it, so it's impressive either way.
"That's really amazing, Josh. It's hard to believe we started working out a few months ago. Good job."
"Thanks."
"Josh is the best!" Sakura swoons over the boy, so I change the topic.
"By the way, do you want to go hunting today?"
"Sure."
"I don't see why not; we just need to finish working out first." Sakura jumps in to speak for Josh, who just nods along.
"Sounds good. I'll join you." I focus on some ancillary exercises for the next hour or so until the kids are done. We equip our gear and grab Shinobu on our way out.
"I've got a question." Inari appears behind me. I'm so used to it at this point that I'm not even surprised. "What keeps you coming back here every day? I only see you suffering, yet you seem increasingly motivated as time goes on. I don't just mean you either; your party behaves the same."
"I like seeing the numbers go up." Josh folds his arms and nods as if it was a reasonable explanation.
"I like it out here; everything is so pretty. Also, I need to get stronger so I can protect Josh." Sakura spins around in a circle as she gestures broadly to the forest.
"You're willing to suffer that much for such things?" Inari asks, pushing for a better explanation.
"I think the biggest thing to remember is that we derive meaning from suffering for a purpose. Plenty of people try to live pleasurable lives, but they often still feel miserable. Pleasure without purpose is just as meaningless as suffering for no reason. At the end of the day, it is working steadily towards a goal, particularly a common goal, that drives people. Our brains almost seem to be designed to work this way. I think that is why most people struggle. We are taught to seek pleasure, but it just ends up making us feel guilty if there isn't anything more to it. Maybe I could have been doing more. Maybe things could have gone differently. These are all thoughts that will haunt us for not suffering properly."
"So, there is a right and wrong way to suffer?" Inari eyes me suspiciously as I finish my statement.
"I don't know about a right way, but there is certainly a wrong way. In fact, I'd say most people suffer the wrong way."
"Those are big words. Are you saying everyone should do it your way?"
"Of course not. I think I often fall into the same traps as everyone else. The important thing is to keep these things in mind and try not to act only upon your appetites."
"Appetites?"
"The appetites are essentially the basic pleasures. Things like food, sex, and drugs prevent us from focusing on working towards our goals by providing an easy way out to block out the suffering. We all have a hole that needs to be filled with something. These appetites bypass our rationality by giving us a way to fill that hole temporarily."
"Humans are born incomplete?"
"If there is any objective evil in the world, I think it's that we're born craving something that may not even exist."
"Ha, how pathetic."
"Maybe so, but that hole is what creates the drive to strive for something great. That hole is what you are afraid of."
"Whatever, do you want to meditate or just plan on blathering all day?"
"I think we're all ready for some meditation. Oh, and you started this, so don't act like I was just talking just to hear the sound of my voice."
"And yet you're still talking." Inari flies over to the fort to end the conversation.
"Don't deflect; I'm trying to help." I chase after the sulking fairy, and the rest of my party follows. Inari ignores my complaints and starts the meditation. I follow suit. I can't push back too much; Inari is going pretty far out of her way for us. She guides us through the many sounds and sensations of the forest. We meditate for about an hour, giving us time to recover. What's most amazing about the seal is how quickly one can recover. It's like being on super steroids, where you can work yourself to the bone every day and still get results. Back on earth, working out too often was detrimental, but that's not the case here. I stand up, stretch my stiff muscles, and then check on how everyone else is doing. I can tell that Josh and Sakura have gotten used to the routine by how quick they are to get up and chat. Shinobu, on the other hand, has given up on standing while lying face-up on the ground. I smile at the rather pitiful look on her face.
"Why don't you rest here for a bit? We're not in a hurry. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, just a little tired," she responds with a sigh.
"That's understandable. This is only your second day, so I'm sure you're pretty beat. That being said, you will get used to it, so you'll need to keep seeking this sensation if you want to get stronger. Our bodies acclimate quickly to new exercises. Being sore is the only reliable metric for ensuring improvement."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Alright, the plan was to go hunting, so let's take a quick break and then get ready."
"Okay." We make some last-minute adjustments before heading deeper into the woods. Eventually, we come upon a clearing with three Equuinoids.
"I figured it was time to take on some bigger prey." Inari has a smug smile on her face as she unveils her plan.
"But, they're small," Josh points out.
"… I didn't mean literally bigger; I just meant more of a challenge."
"Then why didn't you just say that?" Sakura raises her arm in the air as she asks her question. Inari ignores the kids and continues her explanation.
"… Anyway, these creatures should be more of a challenge than those Punctastars that you've been fighting recently. Additionally, I'll be here to help if things get out of hand."
"Thanks; what do you call these creatures? I'm just curious." A smirk climbs the right side of my face. I love hearing the ridiculous names that the fairies have come up with. Inari's eyes narrow as she picks up on my teasing.
"We'll be calling them Equuinoids for today so you dumb children don't get confused." Inari skirts my prodding with ease. I click my tongue in annoyance.
[Damn, I was sure I had her.]
"Are you all done screwing around? I'm going to leave if you keep wasting my time," Inari threatens.
"Sorry, sorry, we're done."
"Very well. I think this is a good intermediate step before fighting real prey."
"What do you all want to do?"
"Let's go get 'em!" Sakura is surprisingly gung-ho. It may be that she wants to impress Josh a little bit. Josh nods his head which only adds to her enthusiasm.
"Well, I guess I don't have much of a choice." Shinobu is unsurprisingly rather reluctant. The last battle she fought almost ended with her death.
"You can sit this one out if you want. Inari said she'll back us up, so you don't need to worry about anything."
"No! I have to do something. You've done so much for me that I can't just sit back and watch," Her voice is desperate.
"That's fine. You stay back with Sakura; Josh and I will take the vanguard position.
"Okay." Shinobu pumps her fists to raise her spirits.
"Josh, there are three of them. What do you want to do?"
"I'll defend while you attack from behind me." Somehow, Josh looks even more serious than usual.
"Can you handle all of that?"
"Yes." He stares me dead in the eye, so I don't have much choice but to go with it. I turn back to the girls to talk it through with them.
"Josh wants to take on all three at the same time. I'll back him up, but I need the two of you to run around and attack them from the side. Wait until Josh has their attention. We should be able to take one each if they don't all move simultaneously. The worst-case scenario is that they go after you two, so don't move too quickly."
"Right."
"Got it." Once they agree, I head back over to Josh.
"Are you ready?"
"Okay."