"I can't wait to show you all the flowers." Sakura fawns while dangling from Josh's arm.
"I like flowers."
"The Vibrant Tulips are my favorite. They hang off the vines just above the fungal layer. I've never seen any myself, but my mom always used to talk about them. She said they would light up any room they were in."
"That sounds nice."
"The leaves are so beautiful this time of year."
"They're rainbow-colored," Josh replies. I look up at the Mammoth trees before entering the forest and see the leaves changing color. From what I've read, most of the leaves stay on the trees year-round, and only part of each leaf turns a different shade. As this process transpires, the looming forest gains a psychedelic spin. While each leaf has a gradient from green to red, blue, brown, or yellow, the forest at large becomes a chaotic orchestra of competing hues. We all stop and admire the intense view in front of us.
"It's important to enjoy the little things." The kids nod at my comment, and we continue walking into the woods.
"Fairy!" I call out to Woohee, knowing full well how she'll respond. Interestingly enough, Inari appears first. Confused, I shoot a question her way. "Hey, where's Woohee?"
"Are you unhappy to see me?" Inari teases.
"No, but I would be happier to see Woohee." I ignore her manipulative jab and turn it on her.
"Fufufu, you're going to hurt my feelings."
"And you call me a bad liar."
"Maybe so."
"Is she not coming today?"
"No, I'm having her run some... errands."
"What! Did you kill her!?"
"Of course not," she says while smiling at me mischievously. I can tell she's toying with me, but I don't know how to throw her off, given that she didn't even flinch at my wild accusation.
"Well, she certainly isn't running any errands, based on how you paused."
"It is the job of each fairy to help provide for the village. That's why she was so far away when you first met her. Woohee is still young for a fairy and tends to make mistakes. She was late, coming back to the village, so I went looking for her. I arrived at her location shortly before you found her."
"I thought you said you were with her the whole time?"
"I told her I was with her the whole time. It's important for fairies to feel safe for them to act freely." I feel like she is screwing with my head, but I don't know why she would lie about something like this. I decide to drop the issue and dig for information.
"What kinds of things do fairies need?"
"Well, food for one. We do need to eat. On top of that, we also make sure to keep the fungus under control and gather ingredients to produce more fairies."
"Wait, you can just make more fairies?"
"Did you think we just popped into existence?"
"I thought there was a birthing process of some sort?"
"Do you think Woohee, or any other fairies for that matter, know anything about sex?"
"I don't know! I've never really thought about it! How do you reproduce?"
"Fufufu, wouldn't you like to know?"
"I would, but I understand why you wouldn't want me to know about it."
"Fufu, you're interesting." Inari looks at me with a seductive expression.
"Are you coming on to me?"
"I just explained why I can't 'come on' to you," she says dismissively. My attempt to force a reaction to gain some control of the conversation is crushed. She manages to maintain the flow with ease. I pause for a moment to think before responding.
"That's fair. You got me."
"Let's go for a walk."
"You're not going to make me run 'errands,' are you?"
"You make it sound like you don't trust me."
"Sure, I do. I trust you to mess with my head." Inari doesn't say anything more and slowly flies into the forest. It seems she got tired of playing our dumb little game. I tell the kids to head down to the den and get started before following after her. The dense foliage slows down my pursuit, but I do my best to catch up to her as quickly as possible. Surprisingly, she doesn't say anything. There's no doubt that she knows I'm here, so she must be leading me somewhere. I decide to trust her and allow myself to be guided silently into the forest.
As we walk, the forest becomes darker. It's still early in the afternoon, so the dimming light isn't due to the suns going down. I notice the vegetation becoming denser, and I'm having difficulty keeping up. I'm doomed if I lose track of her, so I steady my breathing, remain calm, and quickly squeeze through the gaps in the undergrowth. The tight spaces seem to discourage fungal growth as those glowing organisms are also becoming more sparse. Eerie darkness floods my surroundings. Just as it seems that I'm losing sight of Inari, I notice light burgeoning out between the close-knit leaves. We move into a more thinly distributed part of the woods filled with the warm glow of the fungus that was suspiciously absent from our journey. The fungal layer is even brighter here due to numerous glowing slugs wrapped around the trunks. The neon light of the slimy creatures is so uncomfortable that I start getting nauseous.
"I'm sure you're wondering what we're doing here?"
"No, I'm just wondering when I can leave," I say as I grab my uneasy stomach.
"Fufufu, I think a change of scenery is good for the senses."
"Well, it's not good for my stomach, so can we hurry this up?" Inari circles around me, and I close my eyes to prevent my breakfast from viewing the scenery. Her voice is close—each word spinning around me as she continues her circumnavigations of my skull.
"I've been thinking about what you said yesterday."
"I figured you would." I squint my already closed eyes. Given how smart she is, I'm sure she'll have some pretty interesting insights to share.
"If humans behave in such a categorical way, can it be said that they are truly free? Fairies don't have such a narrow view of the world. Our behavior can't be broken down into easily classified paths. How can any of you claim to be free with such limited options?"
[A good old free will debate, huh?]
"Humans are limited by their reason. It's easy to believe you have more freedom when you aren't thinking through every option. You may envy the freedom of your companions, but without reason, their actions can't be considered meaningful."
"Aren't you the one who said it was rude to read others' minds?"
"I'm just trying to figure out why you would posit a question to which you already know the answer."
"Are you saying I'm insecure?"
"I have no idea, but I think it's easy to see the grass as greener on the other side." I get the feeling that I know where she is going with this, so I decide to humor her.
"With thought comes doubt," she claims.
"With doubt comes fear," I respond.
"Our lack of forward-thinking is what allows us to live so freely."
"I think it's hard to see the world as an adult and not envy a child's view. Whatever free will is, it's undoubtedly limited by our fears and responsibilities."
"I certainly don't envy the lives of men."
"And I don't wish for the life of a fairy."
"Humans are miserable creatures."
"You hate that you're so similar to us."
"…" Her silence tells me that our arbitrary diatribe has ended.
"Did I pass?" I ask with a smile.
"You didn't fail." I hear the light flapping of her wings become more distant. It's easier to assume that she has already thought through all of my possible answers, so I just respond without thinking. I still don't know her purpose in bringing me here, but I suspect that it's just lonely for her at the top. How can you not feel isolated when you're always looking down on those around you? I hope I managed to give her something worth listening to. "It's nice talking to someone who can think through their answer. The fairies tend to take my word as law."
"It's nice talking to someone who cares what I have to say." My eyes are still closed, but I know she smiled at that. "Can we leave now? I'm getting woozy."
"You humans are so pathetic. How can you not enjoy the brilliant majesty of our forest?"
"I'd love to if it wasn't forcing its majesty down my throat."
"I was hoping you could stand a little higher than this."
"If you expect me to fill that void you feel, you're sorely mistaken. Being a god is the loneliest job in the world."
"Who says I need that?"
"Well, you dragged me out into the woods just to chat, so you were clearly looking for something. Or maybe you were just tired of hearing your own voice."
"Fufufu, you choose to be a child all the way to the end."
"Isn't that what you wanted?" Her emotions are vague and disconnected. I know she's looking for some form of companionship, but in the end, I'm just a child compared to her. There's no way to bridge her thousands of years of experience, and I'll never be her equal. It really is lonely at the top. All I can do is pity and try to play along.
"You dare pity a god?"
"You're a poor excuse for a god, but I pity you nonetheless. Even false deities are deserving of our compassion."
"Hmm… We're heading back."
"Thank God!"
"You're welcome."
"Not you!" I act frustrated to maintain the bit, and we continue our not-so-witty banter as we walk away from the phantasmagoric arena. She guides me back to the den, and I get a quick workout with what's left of the day. We skip collecting any fungi and make our way home before dark. I'm struck with a strange swirl of emotions. I lie awake in bed and think about what it would take to be friends with a god.