"So, you want us to help you prepare for war against humanity?" I cut to the chase, addressing Inari.
""What?"" Sakura and Shinobu are shocked by my accusation.
"I ask you for a little help, and this is the conclusion you jump to?" Inari waves her hand about in an aloof manner.
"I was pretty sure before, but now I'm certain."
"How do you know I'm not preparing for battle against the guardian of the forest?"
"Based on how hopeless you seemed when we first talked, it's safe to assume that the guardian is a problem you've had to deal with for quite a while now. Given that, it's unlikely that you suddenly changed your mind when your situation hasn't dramatically improved."
"How do you know it's not something else in the forest?" The more Inari asks these kinds of questions, the more I'm sure of my assumption. She wouldn't bother playing these games if I was wrong.
"If there was something in the forest stronger than the guardian, then there's nothing you can do but run away. If it's weaker than the guardian, then the guardian will likely eliminate it to protect its territory. I'm assuming that's also the reason there aren't very many strong monsters in the area."
'Tch'
Inari clicks her tongue. She drops her aloof attitude and folds her arms.
"Is Nick right?" Shinobu asks nervously. She may feel partly responsible for this series of events, so I'll need to tread carefully.
"Of course, he's right. I wanted to wait until things played out more before I brought it up."
"Waiting will only leave us less prepared when the time comes. Also, we may unwittingly put ourselves on one side or the other based on our current behavior. I'm sure there are plenty of suspicious people in town right now," I say. Inari stares at me, her lips forming a thin line.
"What are we going to do?" Shinobu looks frantically around at the people in the room.
"I'm not sure. I was hoping to see what you all thought." While I understand the situation, I can't think of any good solutions. I look around at the kids to gauge their reactions, noticing that Josh's expression hasn't changed since I started talking. This could mean he's either deep in thought or not paying attention.
"Who is fighting the fairies?" he asks after a moment's pause.
"I don't know." I glance at Inari to try and pull any information out of her, but she ignores me.
"How are we supposed to make a decision without knowing who our opponent is?" Sakura grabs the line Josh left and pulls.
"Great point. We should gather information in town before we make a decision."
"I know someone who could..." Shinobu's voice trails off halfway through her sentence. I want to say, 'it's too risky to bring you into town,' but I'm concerned my actions may have put everyone's lives at stake, so I keep my mouth shut. I turn to Sakura and Josh, but they don't have anything to say.
"Who is this person?" I ask with a sigh. I have a feeling I know who they might be.
"To think that the rising star of the Adventurer's Guild would come to me for help."
"I can't express in words how much I hate that this is happening right now." I try to avoid eye contact with Tyrion as he talks down to me. I was hoping Shinobu would have better contacts, but at this point, I'll take what I can get. It's already the next morning, and light snow is falling from the sky. The suns shine valiantly through the clouds, but the town still feels dreary.
"You're the one who came to me, so don't be giving me any lip." Tyrion jabs my shoulder with his finger as he speaks. My muscles are so sore that even a poke is enough to make me wince in pain. The combination of training with Jezabel, touring the dungeon, and finishing the day with a workout have left my body ravaged. I was pretty worked up after Sakura and Josh left for town, so I lifted for a couple of hours until I felt better. Little did I know how sore I would be the next day. "If you want me to do a favor from you, I'll need you to do a favor for me."
"What, do you want me to suck your dick?"
"What? No. Of course not." I've found that I can turn situations around when I'm at a disadvantage by saying something overtly homosexual. Obviously, this tactic only works when you're dealing with someone of the same gender, but it can be very effective in giving you the upper hand in a conversation. It's important not to use this tactic on someone who might fancy the idea, or you may wind up in a sticky situation. I think of it as high risk, high reward.
Tyrion is so put off by what I said that he takes a step back. Conceding physical ground can be seen as conceding ground in the conversation, so I move forward to keep up the pressure.
"Perfect. I mean, I'm really not asking a lot of you, so I can't imagine you'll ask that much of me, right?" Saying this pressures him into reducing his demands because if he disagrees, he's essentially asking for a blowjob.
"Alright, alright, I just want to talk to Shinobu, okay?"
"Oh, that's fine. Why didn't you say something sooner?" I ask, feigning innocence. Tyrion just glares at me silently. "Come to the forest tonight. How's that sound? You can just tell everything to her if that will make you feel better."
"Fine." Tyrion quickly composes himself and waltzes away. After he's gone, I find myself alone in the alley behind the Guild hall. All the stress from the last few days falls on me as I wander back into the guild. I find myself feeling detached and aloof for the first time since Ashley's death. I sit down at my usual table and order a pint of beer. I have yet to drink in this body, and I'll have to be careful to avoid getting sick as my alcohol tolerance is likely very low. I tip my waiter even though I'm not supposed to and take a swig of my drink. The cool bitter liquid pours down my throat.
[Since alcohol is technically a poison, will drinking a lot give me poison resistance? Is this a common problem where heavy drinkers slowly lose the ability to get drunk? Also, how is this glass cold? Are they using saltpeter to create ice, or is there a mage specializing in thermodynamics that cools it down? How much has magic taken the place of technology for providing basic conveniences?]
I allow my mind to wander as a familiar haze descends on my consciousness. People come and go through the doors of the guild, some happy, some sad. I try to put myself in their positions to imagine working as a normal adventurer. Every day must be a struggle. The wealth trapped in the forest is a siren song that leads so many to their end. One party walks up to the counter with an Equuinoid, full of smiles. It must be a big haul for them. I smile as I watch the party leader congratulate his teammates and divvy up the spoils. Another group silently waits in line, dejected expressions painted on their faces. One member holds a crumpled-up piece of paper which is presumably a quest form.
[Why would they be upset when taking a job? Was there a fight? Did they fail a mission, and this is the backup?]