Chereads / I will disappear, Grand Duke. / Chapter 46 - Episode 45

Chapter 46 - Episode 45

Julia's smile continued to appear in his vision, which began to shake slightly.

For some reason, at this moment, his feet did not move as if they were tied to the ground.

Fernando didn't even think to get closer to her, just stared at her for a while.

Eventually, Julia got up from her seat and started taking care of the children next to me.

And a man helped her to hold the children in a flash. Until now, it was the priest that Fernando had been following.

With a cheerful and happy face, she wandered the festival streets for a long time.

Fernando just followed her from a distance, like someone out of his mind.

She occasionally bent her knees and looked at the children. Whispering with a friendly gaze.

And a few times, I looked up at the priest next to me, and burst out laughing in the conversation.

Capturing the whole scene, Fernando felt as if someone was squeezing my heart several times.

All in all, it was the first time I saw it. He was such a face he had never shown him.

Even after drawing Julia thousands of times, the only thing that comes to mind is a hurt and weeping face.

Just an ordinary, happy woman.

'There was only one thing Julia-sama wanted. To get out of misery, to be happy.'

At that moment, someone's shapeless voice tapped in his ear. Fernan's steps stopped.

Following that voice, the last figure of Julia in his memory was drawn in front of his eyes.

'… Unfortunately, what I've been through so far is enough.'

Standing at the edge of the cliff and muttering, her gentle words that she had remembered thousands of times before began to weigh him down again at this moment.

Fernan, who lowered his head as if torn apart, clasped his trembling hand tightly. Blood began to ooze from the palm of his hand, which had been digging into a strong force.

Fernan, who slowly raised his head in that state, looked at Julia again.

She was now looking up at the night sky.

A flash of fire spread across the sky. Yulia looked at the scene with her eyes shining like her child.

She was a woman who rejoiced over even such a small thing and smiled. That fact, he only now knew.

In front of Julia, who was completely assimilated into the peaceful scene, an invisible wall was erected.

It was a strong wall that he couldn't break or break.

Little by little, a sense of reality began to appear on Fernan's half-conscious face.

Initially… what were you trying to do

Yes, the first thing I did when I met Julia was to ask for forgiveness.

I tried to promise never to hurt you again. And she tried to give her all the precious and good things she had never given before.

I wanted to untie the complicated knot and re-tie my relationship with her.

So I'm going to start all over again... .

Fernan lowered the hand that was covering the corner of his mouth. His lips trembled relentlessly.

Funny enough, I couldn't think of a single thing while thinking such a good idea.

That Julia is living happily after forgetting everything.

All elements of misfortune, including him, were buried, and that he might be with new people.

The night of the festival street is slowly coming to an end.

Until the people started to leave, one by one, Fernando just stood still there.

When Yulia, who was mixed with the crowd, started to disappear, a small voice that seemed to fade away fell on the floor.

"How can I… ."

how to catch How can you bring me back again

For Julia, he was the end of misfortune. It was her who drove her to the edge of her precipice until the very end of her end.

gave nothing never made me laugh It didn't even make me feel comfortable.

All he gave to Julia was wounds and pain.

But now, how and how can she break her composure?

Fernando lost the light and closed his darkened eyes. Soon the knights approached him.

Looking at the master with a precarious face, the knights could not easily open their mouths.

Fernando slowly opened his mouth in a voice that didn't even know what emotions he contained.

"… Stop the search."

This short order was the end of a long time spent frantically searching for Julia.

* * *

It had been about a fortnight since the Archduke returned to the castle.

It was a return after a full half year, but the Archduke went to my office without paying any attention to anyone.

He didn't talk to anyone. A butler who recommends a meal, a deputy handing out documents, and a servant who comes to deliver the letters accumulated over the years.

I just dealt with the government affairs that had been abandoned one by one.

He forcibly shoved only the contents of government affairs in his head, scribbled quills like a machine and handed over the documents.

It was a month for that.

"Sir, this is Lloyd. I will go in for a moment."

Lloyd came in with the door open, revealing a slightly dark expression on his face.

Fernando was reviewing the documents in the same posture as he saw yesterday.

He didn't even know if he was sleeping or what he was eating.

His eyes were dark and his complexion was paler than before. His body still felt intimidating, but his jawline was noticeably dry.

Lloyd carefully reached out the letter in his hand.

"As you commanded, the knight came to inspect the abode of His Majesty the Bishop."

Fernan's hand holding the quill stopped for a moment. Slowly, emotions began to appear on his expressionless face.

Without even looking at the lieutenant, Fernando accepted the letter.

My eyes widened slightly as I read the contents.

In the letter, the details of Julia's life were written.

She said that she was staying at a monastery in a small town.

There, she took care of the children and fully established herself as a member of the monastery.

"… What is the size of the monastery?"

"It's not a big one. It's a monastery in a very small town, so there aren't many people."

Fernando half lowered his eyelids. His golden eyes were silent as if thinking about something.

Then he looked up and opened his mouth again.

"Just a little longer, let's watch."

"… … ."

"… Yes, just a little more."

If it was stupid, it was stupid. It's also a terribly obscene affair.

Now I know that Yulia doesn't need me.

But, maybe, there might be something in her life that needs me... .

A pitiful desire to be included in her life, even if it was a small part, filled a part of his heart.

"I will. So, my lord… ."

Lloyd, who was about to tell him to take a break, as usual, shut his mouth.

Because he knew well that he wasn't the kind of person who would hear him say it a thousand times.

It might be better to just cling to government affairs to somehow kill emotions like this now.

"Then, I'll just leave."

Lloyd let out a small sigh and turned around.

Tak, the door closed, and silence entered the office again.

* * *

Shin Sung-guk quickly faced winter.

With the seasons passing quickly, several changes took place in the monastery.

Last fall, an unidentified benefactor made a huge donation to the monastery.

As a result, the monastery spent three months of busy days.

The interior facilities have been refurbished, and the old exterior has been neatly arranged.

The finances of the monastery, which were difficult to be considered affluent, now have more room to bear.

Thanks to this, I have been able to live a more convenient life in many ways.

'He said he didn't reveal his identity, age, or anything. It's frustrating because I can't even say thanks.'

Julia squatted in front of the fireplace and remembered what Gabriel had said.

Most of the places where the wealthy or aristocrats made donations were the high-ranking Daejinjeon.

Also, he tried to put his family and name on the line, and there were not many cases where he hid it so tightly.

I knew it well because I had seen the Marquis of Elodi making a lot of noise and donating money to the Great Temple when I was young.

How did the patron come to know and support this small monastery? There was a slight curiosity.

The sound of crackling, burning wood filled the bedroom.

Julia put the book she had brought from the library on her lap a while ago.

While the interior was being renovated, a study was installed at the end of the first floor.

So these days, I used to sit in front of the fireplace and read a book before going to sleep.

My body melted in the cozy and comfortable warmth. Julia leaned her lips slightly and turned over one of her books.