Pov 3 person
At the time when a serious storm , which eventually can turn the forces into a white fang , was preparing in Menagerie . A real hurricane was underway in Vale . The wind was strong and the rain fell so hard and thick that it practically became a wall of water . In the midst of all this , in one of the flooded streets of Vale , in the narrow alley lay a girl . Whose beautiful and wild beauty was destroyed by the rain that non-stop flooded her dirty body . Which was accurately illuminated by a single lamp hung on the wall of the alley .
Her coat was practically all ragged and in some places cut , her dress and body were soaked and worn . All the white parts of her clothing including her face and hair were discolored by a red color . And this was due to the blood that flowed from her body , giving the deep puddle in which she lay a faint red color . However, despite the amount of red, you could tell that it did not belong to her , as her body was nowhere visibly hurt .
Although a large amount of cold water was hitting her face , the girl seemed to be asleep and her long white hair ware floating in the puddle around her head , all the while being constantli hit by the rain . Her white wolf ears twitched from the rain and her eyelids moved restlessly as if she was dreaming . Her white wolf tail sticking out from between her legs did not move practically at all , when the girl in the middle of " sleep " began to growl revealing her sharp fangs when suddenly her movements completely stopped .
Opening her eyes abruptly , the girl sent a wave of silver light through the alley which, because of the rain creating a biutifule light show , which lit up the ally . Immediately after she blink the silver light dissipated , leaving only streaks of silver light streaming out of the girl's close eyes . When the girl opened her eyes again , the streaks of silver light stopped flowing out of her eyes , leaving them only their natural , beautiful and unprecedented , silver-blue color .
However, in spite of their beauty , the bored and distracted look in her eyes with wide-open pupils which in contact with light od the lamp on the wall suddenly exchanged with crazily contracted pupils . Were able to convey anyone wise , that this girl was not in the best mental state to appreciate her or even talk to her.
Those beautiful and crazy eyes were on her biutifule face , which was adorned with a single scar passing through her left eye . With a grimace of pain visible in her mad eyes , the girl propping herself up with her hands behind her back on the ground , rose to a sitting position . Which caused some of her wet hair to fall over her face covering it .
Her calm breathing , completely did not match the frantic pupils in her beautiful eyes . But still the girl , not caring about the sickness from the cold rain and beaing soaking wet , she continued to sit in the puddle .
Lappland pov
' For the first time ... I dreamed of that day . The day Balke chose him ... not me . It was the same as now , this wind and this rain . Even this dark overcast sky looks identical to the one , I saw then .... I was an idiot ..... '
Thinking about it , I notice that strangely enough , except for my own few straightforward thoughts in my head . There was complete void in my mind . No voices or whispers or images . I can not remember the last time I had such a calm as even the best drugs did not help me that well . Every thought I have , spreads through my empty head like an echo
Feeling this silence in my head , I use my hand from which the rain and puddles have already washed away all the blood , to wipe my face . Collecting in this way the remains of dust and dirt that has not been rinsed away by the rain . Finishing with that I raise my hand in front of my face to look at the slight redness on them . Which must have been caused by catching that smoke grenade .
' I don't know if it's because of the pain in my body and mind ... Or the realization that I can never really find happiness . It was always just this struggle that gave me meaning . Fighting others to achieve my goals or simply because they annoyed me . Even everyday life for me is a struggle , a struggle with the voices inside me , a struggle with my instincts , a struggle to stay afloat with this sinking ship , struggle with my inner consciousness . '
' But why do I fight with it ? It is the only think which wants my independence and freedom . I understand that following what she says will eventually kill me . However , is it worth it ? .... To live . Is the way of my existence . How I came into existence and how I lived . Is this a life or lie ? Am I a dog on a leash ? Do I wag my tail and eat out of their hand ? '
' Now that I am dying , does it matter if I go crazy ? Whether, in the end , will I be able ..... to do what I want without worrying about the consequences ? Have those consefecions ever existed ? After all, even when I fight for them all this time ..... Eventually I was still treated like a dog by them . However, I was the one who made the effort and expected nothing . I never expected anything from them ..... Betrayal always hurts . And no matter how many times I have felt it ... It hurts the same .
Thinking about it I look at my hand , on which in the outer as well as the inner part , I find many small , both old and new scars .
Lappland : " HaHaHAhAhaHAha !!!!! " .
I laughed , at my stupidity , naivety and submissiveness . I never wanted sympathy because it would weaken me , it would give me the feeling that . I could feel sorry for myself and give up in my fight . This would allow others to see my weak point . But I didn't even have to show anything of myself for someone to take advantage of my weakness , which from the start was Blake . Adama took advantage of it , even Blake herself did it . Although I also let it happen ... However ..... I .... I ..... I trusted her ..... I hoped she would be different ..... However , she is the same as others .
Thinking about this all , I raise my head to the sky , letting the cold rain wash my face . However , a sudden headache and neck pain interrupted this movement , forcing me to grab my head with my two hands . The sound of the rain was piercing to my ears , blocking out virtually every other sound creating a pure and unbearable noise . So was my sense of smell through which I could no longer smell the typical stench of the city that the rain had washed away . But the smell of the rain and its noise took my mind even further back to that day .
But no peace can last forever , suddenly I felt a vibration in the pocket of my soaking wet , tattered coat . I wanted to ignore it but after a while the vibration intensified . Out of anger I reached into my pocket where I continued to feel the wet box with the blood tester , then I pulled out the scroll and without looking at the person calling me I answered immediately , then waited for the person on the other end to speak first .
Blake " Hello ... Lappy ? Are you all right ? Where are you ? "
Balke's worried voice coming from the receiver of the scroll stimulated my brain to work , and with it came an indescribable conflict in my mind causing immense pain in my body as in my minde . Pain which I locked up in myself .
Lappland: " I will be at the hotel in a moment . "
I reply with reluctance , I have no desire to talk to her or look at her now . All I have in my mind now is this huge desire to kill her and at the same time another , a simple desire to get as far away from her as possible and never come back . And I honestly don't know if it's because I feel this hatred for her , but I don't want her death . Or I hate her but yet I still feel something and I don't want her to suffer after my death .
Blake : " Lappy , it's raining hard . Do you have an umbrella ? No , you certainly don't have it . Tell me where you are and I will go for you , you hide and wait ."
Says Balke with the care that she always surrounded me when we were little . But hearing her now made me want to laugh . And I don't know if out of sadness , anger or surprise at her attitude , which she changes so quickly . I know how she sees in me , I know what everyone sees . They showed it to me with the way they treated me ... A Monster ..... A rabid dog , that bites every hand that wants to touch it .
Lappland: " You don't have an umbrella yourself , stay at the hotel I'll be there in a minute . "
I answer calmly after which without waiting for Blake's answer I hung up . Feeling the emptiness inside me I put the scroll in my pocket , then with a huge burning pain in my hip , thigh and lower abdomen I stood up from the puddle , letting the cold rain water run off my body , while at the same time a new rain water was coating my whole body .
Feeling weak and tired I immediately leaned against the brick wall of the alley and then looked ahead . Everything was gray, the cursed white of the street lights and the black of the rest of the environment blurred together . But without thinking about it I slowly moved forward with the help of the wall. Everything in my eyes was the same , when the two thoughts that always fought in my head merged into one . The black of death and the white of life . The thought of destruction and the one of creation . Blake who lives and I who will die ..... Everything is in contradiction ..... everything is black and white .
This disorientation which reminds me so much of the time when I was still young fills me with anger . The noise in my ears and lack of smell combined with this cursed gray of interconnected black and white around me completely blocks my senses .
' Yet I know where to go . '
With that in mind I spit out the lingering in my mouth red blood and saliva into the street . However, immediately afterwards, a tremendous heat hit me . I could not breathe feeling my lungs burning . In a moment of weakness I leaned against the building next to me .
After several painful loud inhalations through my mouth , the feeling of heat in my body did not go away . I was not stupid and immediately thought about what the doctor told me . Putting my free hand to my belly I slowly moved it lower until my fingers touched the corner of my skirt . Putting my hand underneath I started to touch my thighs, I directed my fingers towards the most painful and at the same time hot spot. And according to my thoughts , where previously there was a dark spot on my skin , which now felt like I was touching heated metal which contrasted with my cold skin . I also did not feel the skin in that place , it was as if I touched a cristal.
However, unable to do anything about it . I simply leaned against the wall hoping that the rain would cool my burning body a little . In the meantime I looked at the window next to me . Window which because of being built deep into the building , was protected from rain and blurring , so I clud clearly see in its reflection this cursed blue in my eyes .
Clenching my teeth I turned my face to the sky . Through the cloudy sky I see glimpses of moonlight . It was always the sight of it , that did not let me forget about my past. It was the shattered moon that was the first thing I saw after regaining my freedom . The first thing I saw , and that was something other than that cold room . I liked to look at it but moon always reminded me of her and ... and ... It pushing me back into the same nightmare .
Clenching my teeth again , I slowly move ahead . I only thinking about returning to the Hotel . Without even looking at the road I was there after not even a whole minute . Looking at the building , through the lighted windows I see the reception desk and people moving around inside .
Without even thinking about my condition I entered through the main entrance , straight into the lobby where many employees looked at me in shock and panic , as did a great number of ordinary people standing around . People were getting out of my way , when instead of using the stairs I went directly into the elevator .
Paying no attention to the murmur of voices of the people around the elevator . I pressed the button for the second floor . Coming out of the elevator without looking at the guy standing in front of the dors I bumped him with my shoulder . The guy didn't even say anything when he fleetingly looked into my eyes . Walking up to the door of my room I pulled the handle and opened door without any problem . And then I saw her ... Blake was sitting on the bed looking at me .
She did not look great , however I know that I myself did not look great . Nevertheless wave of anger hit me again , thus puting me in a state of near fury . Not to mention the painful , heat I felt in my body all the time and everything that happened to me today . This humiliation and feeling of weakness , the news of my inevitable death ..... This realization that despite all the feelings I showed Blake , she trampled on them from the beginning .
??? : " After all, who accepts this kind of feelings from their dog ? To be perverted enough to have sex with a dog ? Yes , people like Blake would do it with their dog , in this case ... with you . For Blake she is the owner of the leash ... You are the dog tethered on it . When you are polite and submissive , you get a reward , and when you don't ... You go to the shelter and then to death . "
??? : " It's not worth it , let's just walk away from here . We can kill anyone involved , just not Blake . For the sake of Ms. Kali . Remember she is the one who has always been with you , never leaving you . Spare her the pain of losing Blake , and thus losing you . "
Suddenly a familiar voices appeared in my head again . The two voices began to cross , not allowing the other to clearly express an opinion . This changed the two voices into pure tangle of screams . Those screams in my head threw me off balance even more , but still I understood them . One wanted to kill Blake and the other wanted to leave and not come back . But seeing her , as she stood up to approach me with her hand outstretched , I saw her turn into an image of Adam .
??? : " They have always been the same . The same dream and desires , for which in their eyes you became nothing more than a tool . Adam knew everything and because of that he tried to use you and if Blake knew .... She would have done it too , she did it even without knowing who you were . Your thoughts and feelings for her , don't matter ... They never did .... this is the world you live in .... Get over it already and kill her ..... Start fighting for yourself ."
Hearing my own voice next to my ear , I feel as if physically someone is leaning on my shoulder to whisper these words to me . Seeing out of the corner of my eye a black shadow with blue eyes . I thought no more and angrily with a quick movement I slap Blake's outstretched hand , then catching her neck in my hands , I tightened my grip . Feeling my nails gently digging into her neck , I felt her warm blood gently run down my rain-cold hands and then I lost myself again , but now I saw only red . Red that consume my gray world .