The guttural Australian voice came through loud as clear. "That's no ordinary rabbit! That's the foulest cruel and bad-tempered rodent your eyes could ever see!" And then it happened
Artoria's eyes were dull hollow pits as we watched the Rabbit of Caerbannog tear through the 'King Arthurs' knights.
And when that King Arthur got out of the battle and asked who they lost and stated they lost Gawain and our Artoria made a death rattling noise as she literally curled up into a ball beside me within the pillow fort/dragon nest. "The Rabbit of Caerbannog, the Boar of Tyrch... Why were all the animals so damned terrible and nightmarish!" She cried out holding head and the terrible memories within.
Then they decided to use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and Artoria literally flopped like a fucking fish in the bedding as she choked in denial before she roared. "We weren't even religious! We didn't pray before battle! Lancelot was born of a pagan being for pities sake!"
"So you guys didn't fight the French to steal their own Holy Grail?" I asked and I had to hold in a hysterical giggle as Artoria looked at me with murderous intentions and then with a flurry of movement, she had straddled me and was literally trying to strangle me with her hands around my neck while I finally just broke into power guffaw's of chest hurting full laughter.
"The damned French were not on my island when I was king!" She snarled hatefully while I just grinned looking up at her and just enjoying seeing so much emotion coming out of the normally so taciturn Artoria. And she herself knew I was getting a kick out of this as her golden eye's tightened into a slit at the laughter I got out of the situation and her reactions.
"Did you play this film merely to insult me?" She hissed and I felt the corrupted mana of her Excalibur Morgan coming to her hands and so did Tiamat and her doting smile disappeared as she was sitting out of the dragon nest allowing the young dragoness to play with her Master in her own words.
Before Artoria could freak out more, or... I don't know, attempt to lop off my head while her admittedly nice ass was pinning my chest to my bed. I was going to de-escalate the situation by saying something along the lines of 'This was a parody and tried to show the funny side of your rule not insult you.' But instead, Tiamat spoke as though encouraging me.
"Master, her dragon blood is reacting! Put her in a chokehold and impregnate her from behind to earn her love!" She cheered and we both in unison looked at her utter confusion.
I dryly retorted. "Just because you are the primordial milf who popped out dozens if not hundreds of kids don't mean the solution to everything is impregnation."
Tiamat tilted her head to the side and answered in seeming confusion while Artoria awkwardly climbed off of me after realizing her bouncing on me gave me an obvious reaction. "I only gave birth to two dozen beings though? And they in turn gave birth to all life on this world? So yes impregnation does fix everything as my husband only killed me after I finished giving birth... If I remained pregnant he wouldn't have killed me and who knows what may have happened." Tiamat answered with her warped logic and both Artoria and I shared a 'wtf' look before nodding as we both decided to forget everything Tiamat said.
"I apologize for my... Extreme action, that movie unsettled me and it was unbecoming of myself to react so hostile when we are to work together in saving the very world." Artoria said formally obviously trying to put her episode behind us and I nodded but just to be petty as Artoria turned around I got my swift and merciless revenge.
A loud cracking noise rang, as although Artoria in her alter form had a slightly larger bust than her normal form for whatever reason, Artoria never less had a fantastic peach-shaped tight ass that was an easy target for me to land an ear-popping smack across the ultra short skirt of her revealing dress.
Even as Artoria, flushed from her neck to the roots of her hair looked at me in betrayal and even some pain as I shook the sting out of my hands I merely winked and smiled as I used the other hand to slap the door controls which made my door hiss shut and lock... So after giving Artoria Alter a good slap in the ass for her tsundere/alter insanity I basically slammed the door in her face.
This was going to be an awesome couple of days until the next Singularity.
'I wonder how she will react when she realizes we are going to France to steal a Holy Grail... Can I gaslight her into thinking it's her fault with how Jeanne is kinda a Saber's face?' I thought evilly before shrugging the thought off as I felt Tiamat cross over the room and grab my arm with her deceptively strong grip.
"Master, are you ok?" Tiamat asked clearly concerned about something and I blinked clearing my troll thoughts away as I looked into Tiamat's pink eyes and white X-shaped pupils. "You didn't accept that dragonesses courting when she attempted to mount you and that's fine... Her small bust may not have interested you, but then you sent her away with your hand to her backside and you clearly enjoyed the intimate touch." Tiamat spoke and explained her issue with my actions.
I had to close to my eyes and take a breath to steady my heart at the innocent way Tiamat confusedly asked why I didn't just pin Artoria down... Or let her ravish me when she mounted me in her anger.
How in the hell do I explain modern courting and dancing around the subject to an ancient dragon mother goddess whose idea of consent probably went along the lines of, if she is wet it means she is ready... As was typical back in those days.
I finally just shrugged and said dully. "Its a human, thing don't worry about it Tiamamma." I said jokingly and she shivered at my affectionate nickname and then her head tilted downwards and saw my half chub.
"Do you wish for my assistance with that Master?" She asked laying her hand right on my stiffy and I froze. 'Oh, oh insane thirst servant has made her move, what does Blake do?' I thought mentally laughing as I could hear a small voice in the back of my head going. 'I am in danger.'