Long chapter. Enjoy! Don't forget to vote and comment!
He didn't for once think that he would be this depressed in his life. The frustration that kept building up in his system day by day was becoming too much to bear. He needed a way to end it, and he needed to figure out what that way was and fast.
Orion moved about on his bed. It was graduation day and instead of him to be receiving his certificate with his cap and gown that Miley made matching with hers, he was busy lying on his bed, moping at his ceiling, thinking fervently of a way to get on Farik's good side again. He didn't come up with a solid plan though.
His mom had come into his room a little past nine just to see him still in his pajamas. His suit was hanging on his door next to his graduation gown. At first she was pissed, but when she saw the disgruntled look on her son's face, she decided to just let him be. It wasn't like he was graduating from college or anything. He was gonna wear it some other time.
The little note book in his hand that was once a bright pink but now faded and pale looking kept staring back at him, making the guilt gnaw at him. He didn't want to keep it, but for some reason he couldn't throw it away either. How could he when it was the only thing he had left of her? He had gotten rid of all the things they collected when he started hanging with the popular crowd. The only reason why this book was even still with him was because he had forgotten it under a pile of old clothes in his closet and had only found it in ninth grade when his mom forced him to clean it out. That day was just mixed for him.
"I shouldn't have done that," he muttered to himself as he stared at the book. No matter how hard he thought of it, he knew that Farik would never forgive him, but he didn't want to accept that fact either. He missed her. He regrets what he did. He wished he never met Miley. He wished he hadn't started maturing earlier than his peers. He wished he wasn't weak minded. There was a lot of things that Orion wished, all of which he can't change now. Well, all except one. He just wanted her to talk to him again.
His phone kept ringing for the rest of the day and he kept on ignoring it. Miley, Miranda, Suzanne, some guy he didn't even know he had his number. All of them were calling him to find out why he didn't show up for the ceremony. Miley had planned a huge sendoff party at the end of it for the two of them. It was obvious why she was calling him. She hated being ignored and embarrassed.
His mom came in at some time around noon and dropped off his lunch on his bed side table. He hadn't touched the breakfast that she brought and he was certain he wouldn't touch the lunch either. He didn't have the heart to eat even though his stomach was begging for food.
After viewing the few pictures he had snagged of Farik over the years, crying his heart out and then going on to punch his wall, leaving him with a slightly broken wrist, he decided to leave his room and then the house too. He figured he wouldn't get Farik if he sat in his room all day thinking about the years he wasted not being with her and trying to fit in a circle he most definitely didn't belong in.
Luckily for him, his mom wasn't in the living room, so he was able to sneak out of the house without her screaming and asking him what happened to his hand. He wasn't in the mood for his mother's overdramatic-ness.
He walked and walked until his legs ached. He didn't exactly know where he was going but he kept moving. Outside was already getting late and by the time the sun had almost set completely, he found himself standing in the middle of a park. The same park he and Farik used to go to together when they were little kids and still friends.
He wandered into the park until he got to the forest where he and Farik would run off to when they didn't want to go home. They had spent a good part of their childhood playing in that forest and so they knew every bit of it by touch. A little smile came to his lips when he saw the tree that they had carved out their initials on. But that smile soon disappeared when he found out that it had been scraped off.
Orion moved his hand slowly over it, all the hate and resentment he felt towards himself slowly seeping in. He tightened his fist until his knuckles turned white.
"I really shouldn't have done that," he whispered against the tree.
He stood leaning against the tree for a while. The sky was already dark but it wasn't so dark that he couldn't see where he was going. Even if it became that, he was sure he could find his way out. The forest was like his second home.
One that I haven't been to in like forever.
He moved further into the forest, praying that he still remembered the way out. It had seemed all so familiar when there was still a little light left but now that it was dark, he didn't quite remember it. To make matters worse, he had forgotten to grab his phone while he left his house angrily so he didn't have a torch light or a means of calling anybody just in case something were to happen.
Just as he had neared the bank of a little river that flowed by there, he heard grunting noises from beside him. Frozen like a deer caught in headlights, he stood and listened to be sure of what he heard. The sound of the river flowing gently was making it a little difficult to hear but after a while, he heard it again. Slowly, he turned around. He couldn't see anything. His heart rate increased as he heard the sound again, and this time the grunting was accompanied by another sound. It was like someone was hitting a tree stump or digging.
Without thinking, Orion made his way towards the sound. His entire body screamed for him to turn around and run for his dear life, but curiosity got the better of him. With shaky legs and a terrified mind, he sauntered gently towards the source of his apprehension.
The first thing that he saw stopped him in his track. Lying on the ground was something that looked like a body bag. Hovering over the bag, next to a huge tree, beside a hole in the ground was a figure clad in a black raincoat. They had in their hands a shovel. Orion's heart rate skyrocketed then. His eyes were widened and they stung a little. His mouth opened up but no words came out. He wanted to run but he couldn't. It was like his legs got attached to the earth beneath him.
Suddenly, the person stopped digging and looked up at him. Orion forgot how to breathe then. The person kept staring at him, moving their head from side to side. Orion's eyes moved a little south-west where the person held the shovel. As the dark figure took a step forward, Orion found himself taking half of that backwards. He was still shaken up about what he saw and instead of his mind to think up ways to escape, it was thinking, "Did I just witness a murder? Is that man burying somebody? Am I next?"
The person in the black rain coat put down the hood of the coat. Even at that, Orion couldn't see their face well. In fact, he didn't want to see whose face that was. That could put him in even bigger trouble.
He took a bold step back this time around when the shovel handler took three forward. The person stopped suddenly and after eyeing Orion from head to toe, lifted the shovel and made to strike him. Even though he was a little distance away from how far the shovel could go, he still did what any other person in a similar situation might do: he raised his arms over his head protectively.
"Is this it? Is this how I'm going to die? In the middle of the forest where no one is? No one would know that I'm gone."
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't bury you right now?"
Orion froze when he heard that. The voice was just so familiar. The same voice that he says even if he becomes deaf, he'd still be hearing.
He put his hand down and looked up slowly at the person.
"Farik?" he asked moving forward. She swung the shovel making him to stumble back a bit.
"Don't come any closer," she said threateningly. Through the small light of the moon, he could see the hate that was emitting from her eyes and he knew that if he disobeyed, she wouldn't hesitate to make this his final resting place.
"Farik, I…"
"Did you follow me here?" Her voice was as low and monotonous as ever. Orion would usually love to hear it, but in this situation, it sounded murderous and it sent a shiver down his spine.
"Uh…no. I…I didn't follow you here," he stammered in reply. Farik glared at him for a few more moments before she slowly put down the shovel. Orion's eyes moved to the body bag and the opened earth behind her but before he could ask anything, she beat him to it.
"What are you doing here, Orion? You never came here before." She didn't necessarily wait for a reply from him before she turned around and started walking back to the tree and hole, dragging the shovel behind her. Orion stared at it warily before following her, but making sure to keep a good distance between them.
"I…I…" he stopped, not knowing what to say. He didn't know why he came here. He didn't even know that he came here until he got here.
"I guess thinking about you too much just led me here." Farik snickered before continuing her digging. Orion stood silently watching her dig. She did it so effortlessly that he was tempted to ask her just how many times she had dug a body hole to be able to do it now without stressing.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
Of course, Farik didn't answer him. That didn't stop him from asking the next question though.
"Wh-What's the hole for?"
"You," she replied. He stumbled back and stared at it before looking at her. He didn't know if he saw right or if it was a trick of the moon light, but he saw the corners of her lips move up a bit.
"It's been so long since she smiled; I've forgotten what it looked like," he thought to himself.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I was actually about to bury you." She dropped the shovel and moved to the bag.
Orion didn't think she meant that. Like, how was she about to bury him when he was at home and just arrived in the forest? She was already digging by the time he got to her. How did she know that he was gonna be there?
He got his answers when she pulled out a slightly big cardboard box from the bag. He recognized the box instantly.
"Farik, wait!" he said stopping her from lowering the box into the grave. She took one look at him before dropping the box unceremoniously into the hole. Then she picked up the shovel.
"Farik…"
"I was joking about burying you earlier, but if you push me, I just might do it. I don't mind digging some more just to make sure your body fits perfectly." He ignored her death threats and moved closer to her.
"I was wrong, okay? I was stupid and an idiot for doing that to you. I know I don't have the right to ask this, but please, please, Farik, I am begging you, just don't hate me anymore."
Farik looked up at him without any emotion in her eyes. "Don't you think that's a bit unfair?"
He looked back at her in confusion. "What?"
"I mean, it's not that I hate Miley or anything-all that emotion was targeted towards you seeing that you're the reason I feel this way- it's just, if I stop not liking you, don't you think it'll be unfair to my other tormentors especially since you're the ring leader?"
Orion was confused about what she was saying.
"How would it be unfair? They didn't apologize to you like I'm doing right now." His frustration was building up. If Farik didn't forgive him, he didn't know what else he would do. He can't continue to live with her hating him like this.
"True. That's true, but…" she switched the position of the shovel to her left hand so she could scratch her forehead with her right. It slipped out of her hand and landed on the soft earth with a light thud.
"But, still. I hate you Orion…" Her words stung him like poison darts. "I hate you so much, it hurts me both physically and psychologically. That's why I can't forgive you. Anything that causes you great pain doesn't deserve to be in your life."
"Farik…"
"You were the only person I trusted in this world and you just…did that to me. I see the world as a bunch of lowly untrustworthy creatures roaming about it. I can't think straight anymore, Orion. I might be…might be a little unstable, mentally. I wouldn't like to call myself crazy but…"
"You're not crazy," he cut in sharply. "It's normal for you to feel that way. What I and Miley and the rest of the school did to you was…inhumane. I'm honestly surprised you're still intact. Most people wouldn't have been able to handle it well. You're not crazy, Farik."
"Thanks, but I can't believe a single word you say. For all I know, you might be saying all those things just so I'd forgive you. It's already late, Orion. I need to cover up this hole and head home. I have things to take care of."
She moved around him and made to pick up the shovel to continue her work. Orion stepped on the shovel before she could fully grab it and she let out a frustrated groan.
"Orion!"
"Please don't bury our memories," he pleaded. He was one to talk considering he did that a long time ago.
Farik sighed and jumped inside the hole that she had dug. Orion stared at her puzzled as she shuffled about before opening the box. It was too dark to see what was in it and he couldn't even make out the shape of most of the items.
"These are painful memories that I want to get rid of. These are lies. Lies that the world is a beautiful place. Lies that people do care for each other and are willing to do anything for them. Lies that friends are the most important people in your life and that you can trust them with everything. I don't wanna keep living a lie, Rio. Let go of my shovel."
Orion's eyes glimmered and his heart leapt when he heard her call him by his nickname. She used to call him that when they were still friends. She was actually the first person to call him that and he liked it. When Miley called him Rio at school, he felt like choking her out.
For Farik to call him that now made him believe that he had a little chance at being forgiven. He was damned if he was going to let that chance go.
"Farik…" he called again.
"Karma is coming for you whether you like it or not. Asking for my forgiveness is not gonna change that."
"I don't care about that stupid karma shit, Farik," he screamed. "I don't care whatever happens. I just want you to forgive me. I want you to stop hating me and to talk to me like you used to. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything that happened to you. Just…please don't hate me anymore."
Orion didn't know when he broke down. He bent down and leaned against the trunk of the tree, crying silently.
Farik watched him cry. She wasn't moved by the tears though. She was just waiting for him to stop crying so she could speak without being interrupted. Her mind was already made up: she was getting rid of everything connecting her to her high school and that included Orion, whether he liked it or not. As he moved his hand over his face, that was when she noticed the blood stain on his right wrist and how red it was. She wanted to call him out on it but remembered she didn't care about him and then just waved it off.
"Just tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what I should do for you to forgive me." Farik wanted to tell him to get lost, to never show his face around her again, but she knew he wouldn't listen. And she didn't want to watch him cry some more. It was pathetic to her.
"I just want Miley Sanderson and her crew to disappear," she said quietly. Orion heard her though, and even though he was part of the people she was referring to, he still had to ask: "Would you be happy if Miley and her crew died?"
A quarter of a quarter smile appeared on her face. After thinking for a while, she replied, "No. It'd make me madder than I am right now, actually. And I might even start hating her."
Orion hardly ever got confused, but he's been more confused than he's ever been in his life since he started this conversation with her this night.
"But you said you wanted her to disappear?"
"True. But if she died with nothing bad happening to her, it'd suck bad. She can't just leave this world peacefully after everything she did to me. I might just go crazy then.
"If she fell from a plane or a skyscraper or if she got kidnapped and then butchered, I might not be so mad." She chuckled and placed her hands on the box, drumming on it with her fingers. She imagined Miley to be one of those girls she usually watched on her murder documentaries and that brought a smile to her lips.
Orion smiled as he watched her. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her smile, not to talk of hear her laugh. It made him almost forget that he was on her most hated list, being the number one person at that.
"If she died horribly, I'd be happy. Call me a sadist if you may, I think I deserve this happiness though." As she said that, there was a tiny part of Orion that agreed with her. And as that tiny bit of himself said the exact same thing she said, he felt cold inside. He quickly shook that thought away.
"Since you've decided to hinder my burying of the past, I'll call it quits for today. I already buried Miley and her stupid twin anyways. I'd just come back later for you."
She came out of the grave and Orion quickly stood up from where he was sitting. He had dried his tears already and as he watched Farik silently pack up her shovel and bring out a torch light, he hoped he wouldn't have to cry again this night before he slept.
"You carry the bag," Farik said dropping it in front of him. Without wasting anytime, he bent to retrieve it. For her to want him to touch one of her properties made him feel like he had made progress.
"Just so you know, I haven't forgiven you yet. I'm just using the fact that you want that to my own advantage by turning you into my slave-for now. Don't get any ideas."
She started walking ahead of him, leading them both out of the dark, dense forest. He smiled as he watched her from behind. It has been a very long time since he was this close to her for more than one minute. He was really glad he came outside today.
As they got to the entrance of the park, Orion suddenly felt that overwhelming urge to never leave her side. He resolved in his mind there and then that he'll do whatever it takes to get in her good books again. Whatever it takes.