Still out in the cold, Tamara remained stood by one of the pillars of the marble stairs. All the feelings that churned within her stomach, they made her disregard the winter cold that hugged her body.
The thought of Theodore made her chest ache. She hated the sensation, especially after the conversation she had with Elisabeth. The cruel words that Victoria spoke out still lurked in her mind. They reminded her that she wasn't good enough to have a man like him.
She let out a melancholic laugh at such a thought. And with that, she looked up at the sky.
For the first time since she walked out the door, she let her attention encompass the nature around her.
'There's more to beauty than the eye can see...' Tamara thought to herself. She recited a line from one of Matthew's - Theodore's - books.
Before another thought could enter her mind, the main door of the residency opened wide. Immediately, Tamara turned her attention back to the house. There, her gaze was met with Pavel.
It took him a second to notice Tamara by the last step, and when he did, he furrowed his brows ever so slightly. Closing the door behind him, he advanced down the steps to Tamara.
"Ms Tamara..." he began. "What brings you out here in the cold?".
"Fresh air..." Tamara responded before pausing for a moment. When she realised she didn't greet him with a curtsey, she did just that.
In response, Pavel let out a slight chuckle. "I came out for the same reason too.".
Upon a closer look at her face, Pavel noticed Tamara's reddened cheeks and the tip of her nose, indicating that she's been out here for longer than just a breather. "You look like you're freezing, Ms Tamara. Your cheeks and nose... I think we should get going inside-".
"I, no... please no..." Tamara began. "I'd like to stay out here for a little bit more. I'd like to go for a short walk.".
"Then let me accompany you, Ms Tamara.".
She was just about to retort but decided against doing as such. Instead, she let a mere smile grow on her lips. "I'd highly appreciate that...".
Pavel's face softened ever so slightly, as a small smile made its way to his lips too. "Where shall we walk to then?...".
"I'd like to stay close to the light, otherwise we'd get lost in that dark," Tamara responded. And with that, they both set off.
The first few moments of their walk were filled with silence, Pavel decided to shatter the muteness. "You know, Ms Tamara... I've mentioned before that I wanted to get to know you more, and since then I've done everything but that.". To that, they both broke into slight giggles, their warm breaths condensing into the mere fog from the cold.
"You know my name, full name as a matter of fact, you also know what I do, what I read. Who I read...". Mentioning such, she went silent for a brief moment. She didn't get over the fact that her favourite author turned out to be a man she had to stay away from. Noticing her silence, she quickly cleared her throat before continuing, "What more would one want to know?".
"There's much more to a person than that, Ms Tamara," Pavel began. "That's what I want to know. What makes the rest of your personality. For example, what's your most awkward, or most successful moment in your life? Or is there something in a person you hate?".
"Something I hate in a person?..." Tamara repeated his question before she began to think to herself. "I don't think I'm able to hate. It's not in my nature. Be it a person or part of their personality. Because it's that part of them that makes up who they are, and I wouldn't want to put myself in between that.". She paused for a mere second, another brief period of silence taking place between Pavel and Tamara. "However, I can dislike. And when I do, I make it my business to stay away.".
And to that, in an understanding manner, Pavel nodded his head to her words. "You know, Ms Tamara. I don't think a lot of women I've met would have given me a response like you have to such a question of mine. It separates you from the crowd...".
"What? Because I'm being myself, Mr Pavel?" Tamara suggested as such when she heard his words, with another smile spreading across her lips.
"Truthfully, there's nothing more attractive in a person who's simply being themself, Ms Tamara," Pavel replied to her question.
His answer took her off guard. But they were laced with a sense of heaviness. For some reason, she expected those words to come through the lips of a man other than Pavel.
A mere breeze blew past both Pavel and Tamara, it caused her to let out a slight gasp to the cold the breeze carried. It acted as sort of a reminder of how cold it was and the fact she felt she'd turn into ice if she stayed outside for much longer. So, to that - with Tamara being a step or two ahead of Pavel, she turned back and faced him. "Do you mind if we start heading back?".
"Of course, of course.". And with no further ado, they began heading back to the illuminated entrance of the residency.
---
Not long passed before the party concluded to an end. With families beginning their way back home, the exhausted Clarke sisters waited for Elisabeth and Diana to say their goodbyes.
When they finally headed out the door, Tamara still couldn't shake off the cold from her earlier walk with Pavel. Furthermore, thinking she was imagining, it felt as though it became colder with the running of the time into the late night and early morning.
Just like their inbound journey, Theodore did not give them company. Unbeknownst to Tamara - and Elisabeth, Theodore left a little bit after they split from their dance.
With the women taking their places in the cold carriage, they set off home a few moments later. The sky above them was still as clear as ever. It, once again, caught the attention of both Tamara and Elisabeth, who were in parallel on the opposite ends of the carriage, their gazes pointing up at the vast sky.
After a while, when the carriage settled to nothing more than loud sighs that came in long intervals from the sleeping women, Tamara managed to find her peace too as her tiredness succumbed to her. Letting her head lay on the headrest behind her, she let her eyes close before she drifted to sleep.
Now, Elisabeth was the only woman awake in the carriage. She still had her eyes out the window, but very soon, she turned her head and looked over the women that made up the other passengers of the carriage. Moments later, her gaze landed on Tamara. She had a coat over herself, acting as a blanket.
The more Elisabeth had her gaze on Tamara, the more she began to wonder why she piqued Theodore's interest. What was it about Tamara Clarke that made Elisabeth's man, Theodore Baraville, slowly drift away from her?
Was it the obvious?... Tamara looked beautiful, truly in every sense of the word. But so did Elisabeth, or that was at least what she thought. What else was it that pulled Theodore away from Elisabeth's possession? She had no answer to such a question... yet. She knew she had to get a better understanding of who Tamara was as a person. But after their conversation, a little while back, Elisabeth deemed such a task to be that bit harder.
She told Tamara to stay away from Theodore. But her words had a sense of futility. A lump began to form in her throat. When she had enough, she turned her gaze out the window before she allowed her head to rest back.
A minute was too long before Elisabeth, herself, began to slowly drift to sleep.
---
The first stop they made was the Clarke residency. Tamara was awake even before they arrived, Eileen too. So with both Tamara and Eileen waking up the rest of the Clarke sisters, the sisters all stepped out of the carriage before sending their farewell for the night to both Diana and half-asleep Elisabeth who stayed in the carriage.
With the Clarke sisters beginning their way to their house, where they spotted the light illuminating their parent's room, Elisabeth and Diana began their way home toward the Oxford residency.
Exiting the front yard and heading down the dirt road, it took a mere minute for the carriage to settle back down.
With Diana resting her head back against the headrest of her seat, and Elisabeth trying to do the same, the silence that lingered between the two women was broken with a question. "What do you see in Tamara and the other Clarke sisters, Diana?... Why do you associate yourself with them?" Elisabeth asked. But rehearsing what she said and noting how rough her questions sounded, she immediately cleared her throat. "I don't mean any offence with what I asked, I'm just curious to know why.".
"You asked me such a question before... haven't you?" Diana began, opening her eyes up.
"Perhaps... but I don't recall," Elisabeth responded.
With a small smile taking place on Diana's lips, she began, "They are true to themselves... Quite frankly, I don't like the whole division between the higher and lower class. It shouldn't be like that. The lower class, to me, is more humane than the higher. The snobby, city persons. I'm glad Theodore told me things in the city are slowly changing but for the better.".
"Changing for the better?" Elisabeth asked.
And to that, Diana affirmed with repeating "Changing for the better. The snobbery is becoming less of an issue.".
"But..." Elisabeth began. "If I were to marry some person on the street... What about my wealth? My status?".
"But what if you fell in love with that man?" Diana inquired.
"What about it?" Elisabeth couldn't help but let out a laugh at such a question of Diana's.
"Would you rather spend the rest of your life with a man because you love him, or because he is in the same class as you?" Diana inquired about another question.
Silence ruled the carriage for a moment or two before Elisabeth made any verbal response. "A bit of both, I suppose...".
"Okay..." Elisabeth began. "But if you were to choose only one of them, which one would it be?".
Once more, Elisabeth let out a string of laughter following Diana's question. "Is this a game you play with Theodore and others while I'm in Veursau?".
"It might be games to you, but it's a matter of reality to me, Elisabeth," Diana began. "Because some people, especially from this part of the country, don't have the privilege to choose both like you said you would...".
"But to survive, they must go for wealth," Elisabeth spoke out. "And that's what I would choose also. Love can't make you homeless, but living in poverty sure can.".
"I understand that completely... but now, to answer what I see in Tamara Clarke... and the rest of the Clarke sisters as a matter of fact, but I'm the most acquainted with Tamara Clarke.". Diana took a brief break to take a deep breath before continuing. "I know that if I was to have asked her the exact same question, she would have chosen the first option.".
"She would choose love? Love over wealth?" Elisabeth asked, slightly astounded.
"I'm completely sure of it..." Diana affirmed. "And that's why I correlate myself with Tamara and the rest of the Clarke sisters. Thankfully, they are in a middle-class family, so they have just enough wealth to get them by.".
"You've worded that as though you haven't asked her such a question before...".
"That's correct, I have not," Diana responded.
"Then..." Elisabeth started. "Then how can you be so sure what she'd choose?".
"I know Tamara. I told you I'm the most acquainted with her...". Diana paused before she thought back to a moment she shared with Tamara. It was right before Gertrude's wedding when she gave Tamara her dress. "She's generous, hesitant of acceptance when given things, but eager to help out in any way possible. She doesn't make money an issue when someone is in her debt. But when she owes someone something, she'll make damn sure she repays what she's due. In full.". But then, with another smile breaking its way to her lips just as she looked toward Elisabeth, that was when she continued. "I also don't think Tamara is the type of woman who'd suck it up to live in misery just because of good money... There must be love in there for her to agree to it.".