STRANGE how calm she felt the next morning after Johnny had left her to go to his own room, mindful of the untimely aspect of their intimacy if it were known. It had been a very private interlude, just between them, and they'd agreed it should stay private. Especially since he was leaving today.
Megan wryly wondered if she had finally grown up, accepting what couldn't be changed, respecting what should be respected. The rebellious turmoil incited by her father's will was gone. The bitter scorn she'd nurtured towards Johnny and his career had been ill-founded, fed by her own self-absorbed needs and totally unfair. It, too, was gone. In its place was a far more sympathetic appreciation of the person Johnny was and what drove him.
She still wanted him. More than ever after last night. But she knew she had to let him go, release him from any sense of responsibility towards her. What had happened between them had been more her doing than his. She'd made the decisions, pushing him into giving her a very real taste of the man he was.
A generous lover…a generous person in every sense… and it was time for her to be generous to him. No snipes. No clinging. Just let him go to be whatever he wanted— needed—to be.
She put the pearl necklace back in its jewellery box, then washed and dressed in her usual shirt and jeans, conscious of feeling no need to be aggressive or provocative about anything today. The sense of putting away her life to this point before embarking on the next phase was very strong.
Her father would not be with her anymore. Johnny was going this morning. Mitch, Ric, their wives, her sisters and their husbands…they were all flying out, as well. She would be left to get on with the task of managing Gundamurra as best she could, with the financial backing Johnny had set up and put at her disposal. This was what all her life had been building towards…following in her father's footsteps. It was time to take it on now and make a success of it.
Everyone came to the dining room for breakfast, probably conscious of its being their last meal in each other's company for a while. Possibly a long while. Megan wondered if Mitch and Ric would ever return to Gundamurra, now that her father was gone, though both of them were very solicitous towards her.
'If any problem arises that I can deal with, call me,' Mitch urged earnestly. 'No hesitation, Megan. Just call me. Okay? Any legal thing you want explained, or you're worried about, or something you want cleared with Johnny…'
The message was loud and clear. He was there for her.
As her father had been for him.
It was the same with Ric, though his concern was more personal, taking the chair beside her at the table to speak privately. 'Megan, if Johnny starts treading on your toes, taking over what he should leave to you, let me know and I'll talk to him. I have no doubt he'd mean well, but Patrick made you the boss here and that's how it should be. So any time you need a mediator, I know Johnny will listen to me.
Just lay it out and I'll handle it. Okay?'
All three of them, determined on giving support—her father's boys. And although there was no blood relationship between them, they truly were a band of brothers, Megan thought, probably closer than real family in their knowledge and understanding of each other.
They were her father's legacy, too, she realised, not just Gundamurra. Stepping in as brothers to her, as well, except she'd never wanted Johnny as a brother. Had her father known that? Had he written his will with the deliberate intent of forcing both of them to deal with each other, hoping for an outcome that would at least sort out her feelings, one way or another?
He'd known far more of Johnny than she had.
Maybe he'd simply aimed for her to learn who Johnny was—the real person behind the image. A major lesson about making judgements, not letting emotions rule, standing back and using informed reason, putting herself in another's shoes, treading gently instead of blindly stomping. Being worthy of her father…Mitch's words… finally struck home to her.
Johnny had seated himself directly across the table and she was acutely aware of him watching her over breakfast
—concern in his eyes, too. 'I'd like a private chat with you before I go, Megan,' he pressed.
'Sure, Johnny.' Her smile was to show everyone they were friends now, no acrimony souring the partnership they had to have. 'Let's walk down to the airstrip together. Mitch can take the Land Rover to carry the luggage and everyone else. I'll see you all fly off in the plane, then drive back to the homestead.'
There was a hard moment, filled with the nervous tension of wanting him to understand it was better to skip past the physical intimacy they'd shared, just leave it behind them.
Meeting in a room would make that difficult for her. His attraction was too strong, the sexual memories too fresh.
His eyes searched hers with a sharp intensity that suggested he wanted to fight this arrangement, seek a more exclusive time of closure with her. It was a huge relief when he nodded, conceding to what would be a far less fraught situation for her, being out in the open with the evidence of the drought all around them, a pertinent reminder of what their partnership was essentially about— rescuing Gundamurra.
Thankfully Evelyn provided some distraction, coming in to fuss over him, as usual, ensuring he was served with the crispy bacon he liked. For once, Megan could smile at the housekeeper's desire to indulge his preferences. How many people did care about Johnny Ellis at such a basic level, expecting nothing back except the pleasure of giving him pleasure? He'd never had loving parents. It was good that Evelyn added to his sense of being home here at Gundamurra.
Megan wanted him to come back. He'd said he would.
She hoped her blatantly wanton behaviour last night would not cause him to reconsider. If he thought she expected a continuing affair with him…
The bottom-line truth was she did want it. But did he?
Somehow she had to make him feel free to choose. Her heart cringed at the thought of him nursing any sense of obligation towards her, especially in a sexual sense.
This was very much on her mind when the time of departure came. Jessie and Emily weren't leaving until after lunch, so they and their husbands had joined her on the front verandah to say their farewells to the others.
Everyone hugged and kissed. The Land Rover set off for the airstrip where Johnny's Cessna was waiting for them, ready to fly them back to Sydney. Megan waited for the dust to settle in the vehicle's wake before setting off with Johnny, who seemed perfectly relaxed, amiably chatting to her sisters.
Charm, she thought, wishing she knew what it was papering over today.
'Time to go,' he finally said, shook hands with the men, kissed her sisters' cheeks, then caught Megan's hand to lead her down the steps.
He kept possession of it, his strong fingers tightly enveloping hers as they began their walk together. Megan made no attempt to extract them from his hold. She didn't even care if it was a big-brotherly link. It was good to feel his touch again, good that he wanted to touch her.
What she had to project now was dignity and grace.