In measured steps, Killan approached me again, paying no heed to Kenru's watchful gaze from the distance. The tension between the two of them seemed to simmer, unspoken feelings of disdain hanging in the air. Even without them exchanging words, their glances conveyed a deep-rooted animosity.
Once more, Killan's hands found their place on my shoulders. His touch was gentle, his thumb pressing lightly against my skin. His midnight eyes bore into mine, narrowing as a veil of pain gradually unfurled. "Idrish, my beloved wife. I know this isn't the ideal moment, but I need to say this. You are exceptional, whether there's a crowned prince by your side or not."
My lips parted in astonishment. His words were unexpected, their origin a mystery to me. I could sense an urgency in his delivery, as if he had something to convey before my departure from Mors. Was he saying goodbye?
"I'm grateful to have met you. Though our time together was brief, deep in my heart, I'm certain you're an extraordinary elf. In a different world, free from this war, we might have had a happy ending. It could have been us. I—I liked you from the moment I laid eyes on you. But beneath all I feel, there lies a weighty responsibility I must bear. This makes every glance at you feel like staring at a distant star—I can see you, yet I can't reach you."
My breath caught, his words resonating with the turmoil in his chest. His gaze bore testament to the truth of his claims. "Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye? W—will we not see each other again?"
"The Miss might end my life, but even so, I'd do it all over again to protect you and your family. I might survive and return to House Calore. You know, initially, the idea of our marriage repelled me. Yet as days turned into memories, because I met you, because I glimpsed the real you, that distaste transformed into something different. It became my daily wish—to see you. I wished to make our marriage real... B—but that's no longer a feasible reality."
His gaze remained fixed on me, his words ringing true and sincere. "Since I left, thoughts of you have occupied my mind. But I suspect they would be in vain to share now." Gathering every ounce of courage I had left, I met his gaze without wavering and asked, "A—are you marrying Princess Lanuza?"
Killan's gaze faltered. He stared at the ground, arms relinquishing their hold on my shoulders. His lips quivered, as if words struggled to escape. A heavy sigh seemed to ease some of the burden in his chest. "I've had to make crucial decisions, Idrish. Some of them come at the cost of our potential future. It's painful, but it's the only way I can safeguard the queen's legacy—you."
A warm glimmer formed at the corner of my eyes. His words hinted at a purpose, a direction he was steering towards. Perhaps this was the reason for his presence here, along with Princess Lanuza. They were allies against The Miss. But in return for the princess's assistance, an agreement was forged—a pact that might lead to my separation from Killan and their eventual union.
I longed to confess my feelings to him, to let him know that he had carved a place in my heart, however brief our time together was. Despite the brevity, he held significance for me. Maybe, just maybe, I already loved him. Loved him. The words teetered on the edge of my lips, but the harsh reality halted their release. "T—thank you for ensuring their safety."
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Yet in his eyes, a glint of sorrow shone through. "Life seldom unfolds as we envision. Saying goodbye to someone like you is difficult. You entered my life unexpectedly, the best unforeseen event that's happened to me. I wish we had more time."
"Yeah, I wish too." My voice wavered with sadness. I lowered my gaze, a feeble attempt to conceal the gathering tears.
"When you leave Mors, you'll encounter my trusted allies. That's when your new life will commence—far from this chaos, removed from my world." He let out another heavy sigh, his jaw tensing, and then his gaze once again met mine. His touch shifted, his palm pressing gently against mine. "Always remember, Idrish, between the moment we first met and this farewell, a unique feeling blossomed within me. I wish the stars to guide you and lend you the strength you've always exuded."
I managed a subdued smile, my eyes moistening with unshed tears. I never anticipated that this man could have such an impact on my life. "I will always treasure your kindness, Prince Killan."
He compressed his lips, concealing the fusion of tension and sorrow within him. A shimmer of sadness gathered in his eyes. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he pulled me into a tight embrace, his grip firm. I could hear his stifled sob, contained within his chest. "M—may we meet anew. Please live."
"Tha gaol agam ort," I whispered softly, meaning I love you. Yet I wasn't sure if he caught my words. I pressed my tear-streaked face against his broad chest, seizing the moment before we parted. A rush of cold air brushed between us.
His warm hands caressed my shoulders. No more words were necessary. Stepping away, he retreated, a weight settling heavily upon us both. Tears welled in my eyes, overflowing with sorrow as he turned his back and walked away. My tears trickled down my cheeks. I prayed to the stars, hoping he might look back, hoping he might return, hoping for an alternative. A way that would spare us both from pain.
"Coimhead air ais... Coimhead air ais," I murmured repeatedly in the ancient language of Springgan, imploring him to look back. I prayed in silence, eyes fixed on his diminishing figure.
Tha gaol agam ort. Coimhead air ais. My heart whispered, each phrase an ache. Yet he didn't glance back. He continued walking, fading into the cluster of flora.
The stifled sob I had been suppressing broke free. My chest felt like it might explode, my breath escaping in labored gasps. I caught my breath as my lungs threatened to give out. The melancholic breeze stirred around me.
Until...
A hand tapped my shoulder. Taps repeated, a rhythm I couldn't count. Kenru, the stoic warrior, tried to console me. "Embrace your pain, Idrish. Burn it. That's going to be your fuel for your meaningful journey."
I remained silent, his tapping continuing.
"I can't imagine what the princess must feel, left behind by her prince." He cleared his throat. I didn't turn to look at him, but I sensed his gaze on me. "We can either flee and surrender the base, or we can fight for victory."
His words halted my thoughts. I turned to face him. He awaited my understanding, a puzzle he wanted me to solve. I knew Kenru was no coward. He meant every word. "You want to fight to the end?"
"It's our purpose here. B—but I don't want to force that idea on you. If your mission involves finding the heirs of the season gauntlets, I can help you leave the arena, and we can strive to win against them. I don't want to plant an idea in your mind that you're reluctant to undertake."
I concurred in silence.
"We're living in a land where our ranks symbolize slavery, Idrish. I want choices to offer freedom. This game holds immense significance for us. Our victory could change Bonbon's fate, elevate Borracho and Rouma's status, and solidify my standing as the king's illegitimate son. We either triumph in the arena or risk our lives trying."
I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. Killan's and Kenru's voices warred in my mind.
Run or fight?