It was eventually time to celebrate Jacob's late birthday. Jacob invited David, Mrs. Baker, and Mrs. Joanna to his party. I was in the kitchen lighting up the candles and I shouted at everyone to sing happy birthday to Jacob. As soon as I laid the birthday cake in front of Jacob, chocolate was the flavor Jacob wanted. Jacob made a wish and blew out all the fifteen candles.
David, Mrs. Baker, Mrs. Joanna and I applauded. Jacob was smiling. I grabbed the knife to cut the cake into eight slices. I was sitting outside on the porch along with Mrs.Baker and Mrs. Joanna, David and Jacob. All of us were talking about how Jacob grew up really fast and Mrs. Joanna remembered when she first met Jacob.
"You're growing up too fast, Jacob," Mrs. Joanna said.
"I know, Mrs. Joanna, I know," Jacob answered back.
Mrs. Joanna smiled, and she continued to eat her cake. I was mainly playing with my cake. I kept thinking about Jacob's trial. I can picture Jacob in my head being sent to prison. I had a flashback of Hannah going to prison.
"Ryan?" Mrs. Baker asked.
"Hm?" I said.
"Are you okay, you spaced out a little bit," Mrs. Baker said. "Oh, I am sorry, I have a lot on my mind," I answered back.
Mrs. Baker sighed, and Mrs. Joanna could tell something was off about me. Mrs. Joanna doesn't know about Jacob being accused of being a criminal. Mrs. Joanna sighed. I excused myself and stood from my chair. It's true.
It's true about Mrs. Joanna, (even though Mrs. Baker is the only one that knows about Jacob's trial), Mrs. Joanna doesn't know about what's happening with Jacob.
I feel bad for Jacob.
I felt like I was being a little too aggressive with Jacob's trial. I was taking it seriously. Mrs. Joanna saw me sitting on the living room couch alone.
I was rubbing my eyes with my fingers, and Mrs. Joanna was standing behind me, and walked up to me after she noticed I was sitting down.
"Are you okay?" Mrs. Joanna asked.
"Yeah," I answered back, sighing.
Mrs. Joanna explained to me about how she already knew about Jacob's trial. "Oh, so do you know?" I asked.
"Yeah," Mrs. Joanna sat down on the recliner across from my couch, "You know I don't mind being there for you and Jacob, you two are like family to me," Mrs. Joanna said.
I understood, shaking my head, smiling softly, "I just don't want you nor Mrs. Baker to feel like you are a part of this mess," I said to Mrs. Joanna.
"Honey, you do understand that Mrs. Baker and I are both on your side. You are always so thoughtful, to me and to Mrs. Baker, you and Jacob are important to us," Mrs. Joanna said, sighing. I shook my head no. "I just feel like I am being treated like a fool.
I mean everyone in town stares at me and Jacob, and I can't even go a day without being treated badly," I said.
"I understand, I am so sorry for what you're going through," Mrs. Joanna explained.
"I appreciate you being so supportive, and for everything you're doing for Jacob, and I. Mrs. Joanna, I just feel so lost, how am I supposed to move if Jacob is found guilty?"
Mrs. Joanna sighed, and she was looking at me with a sad look. "I'm sorry, I just- I just can't help myself, sometimes. I am so worried about my own brother. Jacob has autism for goodness sake," I said, frustrated.
Jacob seems like he's handling the situation pretty well," Mrs. Joanna said.I sighed, stroking my short sided hair out of my face.
"Mrs. Baker and I will be thinking about you and Jacob during this difficult time," Mrs. Joanna said.
"I appreciate it very much, I don't know what else to do with Jacob,, I am doing my best to just be there for him," I said.
"I know, I can see you are," Mrs. Joanna answered back. "You have a lot on your plate," Mrs. Joanna thought of Jacob remembering Jacob first time meeting Mrs. Joanna.
Jacob and Mrs. Joanna have a pretty special relationship. Mrs. Joanna treats Jacob like he is Mrs. Joanna's own son.
Jacob was asleep.
I then heard a sound coming from Jacob's bedroom. Jacob was calling out to me, and I left my bedroom after standing up from my bed, and I went to see what was going on with Jacob. Jacob was having a bad dream.
I called out Jacob's name after walking into his bedroom, and Jacob was talking in his sleep.
"Mommm!" Jacob shouted.
I sat on Jacob's bed, and I began rubbing his face gently and Jacob opened his eyes, trying to catch his breath.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
Jacob nodded and told me he wasn't, "I had a dream about mom and dad," Jacob said. I sighed, rubbing Jacob's arm this time. I looked at Jacob like I knew how I felt about him.
"I miss my mom," Jacob said. Jacob looked like he was about to cry, "I know. I miss them, too," I softly answered back to Jacob.
"I want to be there with them, in heaven," Jacob said.
Is Jacob feeling suicidal? I sighed, and I understood Jacob. Jacob sighed, and I continued to comfort Jacob so he could go back to sleep.
I didn't want Jacob to feel so down. I miss the days when Jacob was happy when our parents were still alive.
I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be in a prison, especially for a person who has a disability. Jacob's life is turned around, and I don't know how I am supposed to survive if Jacob is possibly going to prison.
I love Jacob, so much. I will have to slave (away) for Jacob, to fight for justice. Jacob is only fifteen. Jacob is just a baby.