Waking up was not pleasant. That's an understatement.
I woke up from nothingness. Before I had time to orient myself, I was pulled somewhere. Then I felt a shock that reverberated through my whole body. I was in my back, but I couldn't quite make it out. I tried to resent it, but the pain burned my throat and lungs. I cried. Almost immediately after this unworthy act of a real MAN, I was wrapped in a soft cloth and placed somewhere.
I tried to open my eyes. At the fourth attempt I succeeded, but everything was blurred in front of me. I could not recognize anything in this haze. My hearing was also useless: the sounds mingled into a cacophony without any chance of catching or understanding anything concrete.
I spat on the futile attempts of the researcher, relaxed and thought about the situation. The conclusions were driving me into sadness: according to current events, I was an infant a few minutes from birth.
No, of course, I am very glad to be alive again! The initial joy was overshadowed by a mismatch: the body of a newborn was a poor match for my adult consciousness. As soon as the storm of indignation subsided, I remembered who the body originally belonged to. My mood dropped below the plinth level altogether.
I was pulled insistently out of my depression.
Something picked me up from my cozy, warm place. It was something black with red speckles that lifted me up and began to shake me gently. An unstoppable, energetic noise indicated that it was probably talking to me.
Much later I realized that it was Toby. I was exhausted in body (yep, just born) and soul ("What the hell is going on here?!") at the moment of this squeezing. My only wish was to forget myself to sleep. The ride that began abruptly cheered me up. I remembered the violent jolting, flickering, and series of loud noises.
As time passed, I deciphered it as juggling me, acrobatic stunts, and active attempts to rattle anyone nearby.
The last of my strength was spent. I fell into darkness.
The next awakening was marked by a significant improvement in my vision. I could see everything in spots, but the figures in front of me looked like people instead of blurry blobs of color. The woman with the red (no, blood-red) hair had a quiet, melodious voice. Kushina Uzumaki. Behind her stood a blond man. Minato Namikaze. Behind them was something red, like a mountain. They were saying something to me. Unfortunately, I didn't understand anything. They fell silent, the Fourth said something. The whole redheaded mountain, growling frantically (something obscene and not lower than the tenth floor), came at me, or rather, at the seal on my stomach. It was a scary sight. I felt as if I was both in boiling water and shackled in ice at the same time. I lost consciousness. This was my second trip into the darkness on my birthday.
Just as I tuned in to enjoy unconsciousness, the system announced itself.
Param-pam-pam!
The system "Player. Version T.-3000" welcomes the user "Player.
Begin system activation?
Begin setting up basic abilities?
Yes / Sure, yes / YES
- I have a feeling I should have taken the "Version +" system. Okay, we select the "YES" button.
The basic abilities installation process is started:
1%
16%
39%
68%
89%
99%
100%
- The installation was successfully completed.
The process was by no means instantaneous. It stretched out in time with a distinctive beeping sound so much that I was fully immersed in memories. It was like I was installing something on my first computer.
Congratulations!
You are the first user to activate the "Player. Version T.-3000"!
Reward: an upgrade to the player's basic abilities.
"Player Body" is a passive skill.
The user's body takes on the body of the character. Taking any damage takes away HP (HP - heal point - unit of health). As long as the user has at least 1 HP, the body's health reserve can be restored.
Extras:
The maximum single damage is [Available health reserve - 1 HP].
Even a head chopped off with a single sword strike will not kill you, saving 1 HP.
Minimum damage is 1 HP. Any damage cannot be less than 1 HP.
Beware of large swarms of mosquitoes.
"Player Mind" is a passive skill.
The user's mind keeps calm in any situation.
Immune to mental attacks.
Extras:
The energy of the interworld has affected your cockroaches.
Cockroaches of your mind mutated into Xenomorphs.
Activity Stage: Active repopulation of your subconscious, combined with the Seal space.
P.S.
Kubi recalls with nostalgia the living conditions in Uzumaki Kushina's Seal. He thanks the shinigami and the Fourth for installing the sturdy grid. He curses the current host of the Seal.
The remaining functions of the system are not available.
Completion of system calibration is required.
Timer: 3 years, 364 days, 11 hours, 06 minutes
System "Player. Version T.-3000."
sends its deepest apologies
for the inconvenience caused.
The system temporarily says goodbye to you.
And what was that all about now?! What the fuck is a four-year calibration?!
All right... Get a grip...
A cyborg on jam traction used to say, "Calm down. Only calm."
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...
That's it. I think I'm relieved.
Now it was time to deal with the opportunities that came with it.
The basic parameters of body and mind were clear. The descriptions of the additional features raise more questions than answers. One thing is for sure imba: I can survive decapitation. I can survive a beheading. My body lies on the sidelines, regenerates my HP, and leaps onto the executioner from the back. Plus the psychological trauma of a headless corpse getting revenge!
Just don't get too excited. There's an untested "but": a severed head, falling to the ground, gets a fatal 1 HP? If so, I actually survive the execution, but I die from my forehead colliding with the floor. If that's the case, then there's no use for this reader.
And it's a shame.
Karma I have. And it seems that it is clearly bad: stupidly died once, and there are all the prerequisites. One warning about mosquitoes worth. Die from their bites can also pull on a repeat achievement "Laughing Gods.
Cockroaches... Great defense against intruders. I even feel sorry for the unfortunate ones who try to get inside my head.
If my memory serves me correctly, at the beginning of season 2 Sasuke reached into Narik's subconscious. There he saw Fox. Now, such a feat could ennoble the world: one less Uchiha.
Now for the obvious flaws. For one thing, I don't know how I'm going to get along with Kyubey. He's sure to tell me to go fuck myself. And I agree with him with all these neighbors. Secondly, wouldn't those things eat me if I went into my subconscious?
The player's mind I've already appreciated: the hysteria subsides faster. Immunity to other people's mental influences was the main patch on Narik's hole-in-the-wall head. It was his main vulnerability. Now I don't care about all sullen red-eyes or the clan of white-haired brainiacs.
The calibration will last four years... Well, the hell with it! What quests for a toddler? But still, the buns were waved and put on a higher shelf. It's not as bad as it seemed in the beginning. But a lingering feeling of uppity didn't let go.
Remaining in my thoughts, I missed the appearance of new actors. A squad (a crowd? a group? I don't know how many) of NSAU led by the Third Hokage arrived at the site of Fox's canning. I recognized him by the darker blur. Hmm, my eyesight is clearly making progress, which is nice. The image of a black jumpsuit like the battle in the canon with Orochimaru came to mind. Whether the old man was wearing the same outfit, I can't be sure. He was the only one who stood out among the identical ANBU.
The ANBU scattered swiftly around the area. Hiruzen and one ninja stayed beside me. One or the other occasionally ran up to the chief with a report. When I was alone, Old Macaque was talking to a subordinate in the mask of some bird (either a sparrow or a heron). This same bird was examining my Seal and commented very emotionally.
It is not so offensive that these figures first of all checked the Seal, but not the state of health of the infant lying under the open sky. It is more offensive that I did not understand a word they were saying. My fate was being decided here, and I had no idea! Maybe now Macac has relaxed and in the circle of loyal people gives out his terribly secret and insidious plans.
Where is the justice...?
Why can't I speak the local language? All popadanians speak the local language as well as the mighty, no matter where the hell they end up. I'm the only one who's unlucky and wrong.
Boo-hoo.
- System, where's my language skills? Ow! I'm asking you!
- ...
- Oh, yeah... You're in the boot.
I'm relieved that I'm hysterical again. The Player's Mind ability is great, after all.
Calm is expensive, but not now. Hiruzen began to look at me unkindly, with extreme suspicion. Why? There's a newborn baby frozen on a cold rock, silent, just staring intently at your face. It is quite strange. When you consider that a nine-tailed fox demon had just been sealed into this very child, it's triply suspicious.
It was at this point that I let go of the steel control and let the remnants of my hysteria run free. My crying and twitching deflected the suspicion that the fox had taken over control of my body. At least that's what I thought, because I was approached by a summoned medic, not a team of sealing specialists.
He spent about ten minutes with his green glowing hands over me. I was fascinated. It looked so fucking cool! I want to do that, too! When the system returns, I'll run to the hospital to sign up for a course.
Yeah... "The player's mind is not such a useful thing when you first look at it. The skill dampens strong emotions, both negative and positive. Although the idea of learning to be a yiryonin is a smart one. Only with Naruto's reputation and the general mood of the village against him I won't have to run to the hospital. That's how the mortal carcass will be carried.
I was interrupted in my gloomy musings by an Iryonin (the same one or the other - I don't know). He continued to light me up with his palms and move them to my face. I drifted off to sleep and passed out.
****
In the underground room, at a large wooden table littered with various folders and scrolls, sat an old man of thin build and average height. His face was slightly oval, riddled with wrinkles and battle scars. His nose was slightly convex. His lips are pursed. His right eye and forehead are wrapped in a white bandage. Black, greasy strands of hair stuck out at the top of his head. There was a scar in the shape of a cross on his chin. He was distracted from scrutinizing his papers by a ninja in an ANBU uniform who appeared in front of his desk. With a faceless mask attached.
- Report," Shimura ordered briefly.
- Yes, Danzo-sama. Despite the heavy losses, we managed to place the tabs on the nine-tailed vessel," the subordinate bowed in a deep bow.
- What were the losses and the reason for them?
- Four mentalists. The cause was an unknown defense. We assume it was the work of Koushina Uzumaki. The mind of the first mentalist to make contact with the vessel was destroyed after seven seconds. The next attempt was made by a group of three more experienced specialists. The minds of the second and third were destroyed 32 and 49 seconds after contact began. The group commander was able to break contact with the object. He managed to report on the success of the operation and then fell into insanity.
- Return the vessel to its original location. Provide examination reports on the bodies of the dead and the survivor's mind.
Shimura thought hard. What had that bijou Uzumaki done that a team of elite mentalists in a prepared lab and no resistance from the subject was able to accomplish the task at the cost of their lives? We should definitely get to the tech scrolls before Hiruzen's men do.
****
Looking over the huge mountain of documents on the table, Sarutobi Hiruzen was no longer happy about his reinstatement as Kage. The general meeting had gone too hard. The main tension was over the question of what to do with the new ninotail jinchuriki. Danzo was off the chain, wanting to take him to the Root. The elders supported the Root leader, but the clan heads and many jounin were strongly against it.
Among the clans, there were quite a few willing to shelter the orphan jinchuuriki. That's when their unanimity came to an end. Each nominated his own candidate and rejected the others. In the end, Hiruzen had to intervene. After much debate, it was decided that everyone should not interfere in the life of the jinchuuriki and that information about him should be kept secret.
Hiruzen was no less concerned about the jinchuuriki himself than Danzo's strange rummaging around, if not more. The infant looked at him too understandingly and studyingly at the time. How not to get another coming of the Fox. That's why he asked Inoichi Yamanaka to check Naruto's mind for the nine-tailed influence, well a couple of bookmarks to put in just in case.
A few hours later Inoichi Yamanaka entered the hokage's office, knocking quietly. At the sight of him Sarutobi choked on smoke.
- What happened? - The hokage couldn't contain his excitement.
Inoichi looked up at him with an exhausted look. Hiruzen had often seen this look in wartime fighters who had miraculously escaped from some bloody meat grinder. Only now did Hokage notice glimmers of gray in Yamanaka's hair and a general pallor. As he squinted, he also noted the severe chakroids.
- I've completed Naruto's inspection at your request," Inoichi replied in a quiet, monotone voice.
- And what did you find out? - Hiruzen tensed heavily, expecting the worst.
- The check revealed no, not even minimal, influence of the Kyubi chakra on Naruto's mind. There was no sign of any other interference with his mind. At the same time, it turned out that Uzumaki had an unknown mind defense that could not be overcome.
- What about an extra errand? - Hokage asked calmly and relaxed.
- That's impossible! I won't go there again! - Yamanaka almost jumped up from the couch screaming.
Having sent Inoichi home with a week's leave, Hiruzen thought hard about the current situation with Naruto.
It was a good thing that the boy's mind was not affected by Fox. That's where the good news ends. Naruto's impenetrable defenses require time to investigate, and there is no time. Danzo has already sniffed it out, now it's up to him to fight off his pesky interest.
The village is in ruins. The first tasks are to restore the village's defenses and restore the economy associated with the missions. A battle is a battle, but losing the trust of wealthy regulars will cost Konoha dearly. A sea of other matters also requires close attention.
Hiruzen reasoned sensibly that solving pressing matters is more important, and Naruto isn't going anywhere. It would be enough to temporarily assign a guard to him. So the matter of the last Uzumaki was postponed until better times.