The following afternoon, Ali stood in the doorway at Rive Gauche. Bartenders in crisp white shirts flitted around pouring drinks and cleaning glasses. A waitress rushed past with a tureen of rich-smelling fondue. A few girls from school were sitting in a booth, including Melissa Hastings, who had already noticed Ali and was glowering Ali craned her neck, looking around for Nick—he was working today and had asked if she'd stop by during his break—but she didn't see him anywhere.
She was so happy he'd texted. In some ways, she needed to see him, needed to confirm to the world that she liked a guy. Finding that heart on Emily's notebook had shaken her to her core—she'd dropped the notebook and run out of the bathroom as fast as she could, mumbling a lame excuse and the others and begging Jason to come pick her up right away. How had she not sensed Emily's feelings? All those times Emily had defended her, all those compliments she gave. Even yesterday, Emily had been content just sitting on the couch in the dressing area watching Ali model the jeans in front of the three-way mirror. Ali had changed in front of her a zillion times, thinking nothing of it. This totally explained why Emily had watched Ali so closely when she did that sexy dance to the Justin Timberlake album a few weekends ago. And she'd made a contented little sigh when Ali was finished, like she'd dream about Ali later that night...
Ali wasn't sure how she was supposed to handle it. It was clear Emily was terrified to tell Ali her feelings. She probably knew Ali would tell her she didn't feel the same way and that their friendship would crumble. Emily was too valuable of a friend for that, though—she was so easy to talk to and, more than that, so controllable. She did anything Ali asked—Ali would never find a sidekick like that again.
"Earth to Alison?"
Ali looked up and saw Nick in the doorway, dressed in Rive Gauche's white shirt and black pants. "Hey," she said with a big smile. Just being with him again made her suddenly feel so relaxed, as though she'd slipped into a warm bath.
A beep sounded, and Nick glanced down at his phone. After staring at the screen for a moment, he dropped it in his pants pocket. "So," he said, grinning at her, his blue eyes bright and clear. "Do you want to go on the merry-go-round with me?"
Ali almost burst out laughing. "Are you serious? The one in the kiddie playland down the hall?"
Nick smirked. "Why? Are you too cool to go on a merry-go-round?"
Normally, Ali would have said yes, but something about riding a merry-go-round with Nick seemed kind of fun. "I'll go if you go," she challenged.
"You're on." Tingles shot up Ali's spine as he grabbed her hand. Together, they walked out of the restaurant and down the long corridor, passing a cluster of stores, including Woof, the luxury pet store. When she'd first taken his sister's place in Rosewood, she'd spent hours in there, admiring the cashmere blankets, leather pet clothes, and organic treats even though her family didn't have a pet. This is a place where even dogs have to wear the right clothes, she'd thought.
Nick looked at the store. "Are you a dog or a cat person?"
"A gerbil person, remember?" Ali teased. "But I guess I'd pick cats over dogs."
"That means you're aloof and mysterious," Nick said.
"Or that I don't like dog slobber," Ali pointed out.
"Or that you don't like watching dogs hump everything that moves."
Ali burst out laughing.
They passed Chanel, Bloomingdale's, and a high-end kids' store, chatting about school, homework, and Nick's new job—he'd already had a woman who could've been his mother hit on him today. "It was totally weird," he admitted. Then he looked at her. "Have you ever gone out with anyone older?"
Ali thought of Ian, then of her and Spencer's game to kiss as many older boys as they could. She'd made out with a few eighth graders, and once even a ninth grader, but they'd just been simple kisses, nothing more. "Not really," she admitted. "Have you?"
Nick ducked his head. "To be honest, I haven't gone out with very many people. I've only had one girlfriend, and she..." He trailed off. "It didn't work out."
"You're kidding," Ali blurted out. "I thought girls would be all over you."
"I haven't found the right girl, I guess." He turned his liquid-blue eyes to Ali and looked like he was going to say something else, but then he shut his mouth.
"What?" Ali asked, her heart pounding hard.
A blush rose up Nick's neck. Ali waited, a fizzy feeling of anticipation mixed with excitement swirling in her stomach. But then someone bumped her bag, and some of her Polaroids, which she kept in the front pocket, fluttered out to the floor. Ali looked up and saw a girl with short blond hair striding away. It was Spencer's sister. Ali glared at her. Had she bumped into Ali on purpose?
"Wow, cool," Nick said as he bent down to help her pick them up. "What are these?"
He held up one of Ali and Aria in art class. They'd positioned their big, bushy paintbrushes under their noses to look like mustaches. Then he looked at one of Jason lounging on the couch, a cheese curl hanging out of his mouth. She'd taken it on the sly yesterday and planned to use it as blackmail later.
"Oh, just something I do," Ali said. She rummaged through the photos. "I have one of you from the day we re-met." She found it and held it up.
"You carry around a picture of me?" Nick looked touched.
Ali leafed through the photos and found one that Spencer had taken of her outside Rosewood Day. Her blond hair gleamed in the sunlight. Her smile was wide and sly, like she had a secret she wasn't telling. "Here you go," she said shyly, passing it to him. It felt significant to exchange photographs with a boy. Almost as big as friends exchanging half-heart necklaces or friendship rings.
They rounded the corner and the merry-go-round materialized, its calliope playing a circusy song. The wooden, elaborately painted horses bobbed up and down. A kid rose in the little sled behind the horses, and a father stood next to a young boy on a roaring lion.
Nick grabbed her hand. "Want to go on?"
"Sure," Ali said, not even bothering to look around to see who might be watching. Normally, a girl like her would never rise the merry-go-round. But with Nick these sorts of things were cool.
They paid for tickets, and when the carousel stopped, the attendant lifted the chain and let them select horses. They chose two white ponies next to each other and climbed on. As Ali put her feet on the straps, she was suddenly flooded with nostalgia and sadness. A memory flashed into her mind of the last time she'd been on a merry-go-round. It was back when she and her sister were friends, before anything terrible happened. The two of them had been dressed in identical pink skirts and white tops; they'd both asked for pink balloons from the balloon cart. The horses were so tall that their father had to boost them up, and they'd sat side by side, just as she and Nick were doing now. As the music started, they both squealed and grabbed hands across the aisle.
What had made her sister change? Why, suddenly, was she so jealous, so desperate to be the only girl in the house? It was probably an answer Ali would never know.
As she ran her fingers over the horse's molded mane, a surprising thought struck her: She missed her sister. Not the crazy person she'd become, not the threatening presence in the bathroom, but that little girl she once was, her old best friend. Sometimes, in the middle of the night at the Radley and even now, she found herself reaching for something in the darkness. She'd wondered more than once if not was her sister's hand.
The music started up, and the carousel began to turn. Ali smiled at Nick, wiping the thoughts from her mind. Nick gripped the pole with one hand and held her hand with the other. He didn't take his eyes off her the whole time. Ali's heart beat along with the bass drum that accompanied the carousel's old-timey song.
The merry-go-round rotated several full turns before either of them looked away from the other. As the side slowed, Nick's phone chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket and started texting.
"Who are you writing to?" Ali blurted, then wanted to clap a hand over her mouth. She wasn't supposed to care who he was texting. She was supposed to act cool and aloof. Guys couldn't stand girls who wanted to know every detail of their lives.
But Nick turned the phone screen around so Ali could see. "My buddy Jeff." He pointed to the text-message thread. A guy named Jeff G. asked him what he was up to, and he'd replied, I'm hanging out with my new crush, Alison.
Ali's mouth dropped open. "I'm your new crush, huh?" she said, trying to sound untouchable and apathetic. But her voice was too full of joy for that. Her fingers were shaking. There was a voice inside her screaming, Yes!
"I hope you are," Nick said, helping her off the horse and walking her out of the little fence that surrounded the carousel. "I want to know everything about you, Ali." he laced his fingers through hers. "I like you a lot."
"I-I like you, too," Ali heard herself saying, her voice small and nervous—and thrilled.
"Good," Nick said, leaning in close. And there, beside the pipe organ and the screaming kids waiting in line and the cotton-candy kiosk, which smelled nauseatingly sugary, he edges close and touched his lips to Ali's. It was over in an instant, but Ali knew she'd remember the feeling of the kiss for a long, long time.
They smiled giddily at each other for a few seconds, but suddenly something behind Nick caught Ali's eye. A familiar figure stood just inside one of the little mall hallways that led to the bathrooms and the staff offices. Was that her mom?
She squinted, at first annoyed that her mom was spying. But then she saw the second figure standing next to her. A man in shadow placed his hand on Mrs. DiLaurentis's arm, talking urgently about something. It wasn't Ali's father.
Acid rose in her stomach. She breathed in sharply and pulled away from Nick. His brow furrowed. "What's the matter?"
"I..." Ali's gaze remained on her mother and the man. He turned and touched the side of her face in a gesture so tender it made Ali curl up inside.
"Ali?" Nick's voice was soothing, but it seemed so far away. "Are you okay?"
"No," Ali whispered, backing away. Part of her wanted to see who the man was, but another part of her was terrified to find out. Instead, she turned and sprinted toward the exit, running faster and faster until her legs ached and her lungs burned.