After shaking his head, trying to put his near-death experience in the back of his mind and returning to the present, "You want me to make my clothes out of that? Although I have read about how to do it, reading about something and actually doing it are two completely different things. If you want me to do that you will need to guide me during the process." Havok looked at his teacher.
His teacher nodded, "Correct, although you will make pelts not clothes, this is also an important life lesson. Being self-reliant is important to a ranker. You won't always have somewhere to buy daily necessities from. You could be stranded in a forest just like this, injured with only yourself to rely on. I will teach you how to get the most out of your kills because beasts corpses benefit any ranker tremendously. Break off a piece of the antler and use that for your knife. It's strong enough to break the skin. Now, roll it on its side and position the antler. Down a little bit, right there now…"
The man continued to give step by step instructions on how to butcher the elk. Havok struggled at some points as he wasn't strong enough to move the knife through certain spots, so his teacher stepped in and taught him how to use his affinity to make it easier. "Butchering a mana beast is one of the best ways to increase your control of your mana. Try injecting your mana into that antler, that will make it sturdy enough to cut those difficult parts. Not too much though, just enough to fill the antler." The teacher paused as he watched Havok utilize his mana to fill the antler.
Havok got lost in the feeling of controlling his mana and forgot what he was doing as he just stared at the antler. Havok ended up losing control of the mana as this was his first time using it this way and…
Bang
The antler exploded as mana blasted out of it like a freed prisoner and started to gather around Havok's hands as he looked mesmerized.
"You need to focus, control it. Don't let the mana run wild. You need to control how fast you fill it up and not just recklessly inject mana into it. Luckily, we have a few pieces of the antler to experiment with. Keep going and I'll chime in when I think you need advice, but generally it's better to figure these things out yourself, as everyone is different." The man then stood there and watched Havok destroy several pieces of the antler in succession. Even when Havok managed to get the amount of mana correct, right when he tried to move it the antler would explode in his hand, blasting him with shards. This task was already hard enough and although the blast was not that powerful, getting blasted in the face with the antler shards annoyed him.
Havok finally lost it after being uncharacteristically calm throughout this whole process.
"Goddammit! Motherfucker! Ahhh!" Havok cursed and yelled with a look of rage on his face and his eyes slowly turned black. He lost control of his mana and darkness started to flow out of his body.
His teacher who had been watching on silently, he finally chimed in, "Every affinity is volatile if not controlled properly. Right now, you are being influenced by darkness. Killing and madness are generally associated with our affinity. You are experiencing it firsthand, as well as what it feels like to lose control. You need to regain control before you lose your mind." His teacher paused.
"When you feel darkness degrading your mind, I suggest you think about your dreams and goals or else you will head down a path you don't want. Now, take a few deep breaths and clear your mind of any distracting thoughts and focus on calming down." The man waited for Havok to do as he was told.
'What the hell was that? I've never lost control of my emotions like that. Darkness really is terrifying, if I was on my own, I probably would have lost my mind. Imagining not being able to achieve my goals due to losing my mind due to my affinity. That would truly be pathetic. Luckily, I have a teacher who has experience with darkness.' Havok thought to himself as he gradually calmed down and returned to normal.
His teacher nodded as he watched Havok regain control of his affinity. "Good, now that you have calmed yourself, try again. However, this time I want you to insert the smallest amount of mana you possibly can. Keep doing that until you have filled the entire antler. Take it slow. Just keep it at a small steady flow, do not rush, patience is key right now." The teacher stopped talking and just watched Havok follow his instructions.
Havok followed his teacher's directions. He noticed that it was easier to control mana if he just did one small continuous stream instead of letting it flow out of him at a rapid rate like he did before. Once he got the flow right, the next step was to not go over the limit the antler could handle. The antler exploded, but Havok didn't lose it this time because he was making progress.
Havok took a deep breath, picked up another piece and tried again. He managed to get it to fill the antler this time, but once he was about to cut the elk it cracked and fell to pieces. He wasn't deterred though because this time it didn't explode. It just fell apart. meaning that it was not overflowing with mana, it was just slightly over the amount that the antler could bear.
He knew that he was close and that was exciting for him, but he knew that he needed to remain calm. As he picked up the next piece of the antler which happened to be the last one that he had, making it truly his last chance to make some form of clothing. He focused and made it to the same point he did last time, but he got the exact right amount of mana this piece could handle and it didn't break. He waved the antler around laughing like a madman.
"Hahaha! Fuck yeah, look at this beauty! I am a genius! Hahaha! Fuck you elk! Hahaha!" He laughed with no care for his teacher standing right there. His teacher just smiled and let Havok celebrate his success. What Havok did was impressive, especially considering that it was done in such a short amount of time. The teacher only selected him because of his affinity, but Havok's natural talent was outstanding.
Havok calmed down after a few minutes. That was the most frustrating thing he had done in his life. Being patient and doing things slowly was not exactly a strong suit of his and after becoming a ranker with the darkness affinity his temper was even harder to control than usual. However, the payoff was massive, and it was going to help him reach his goals. Havok smiled as he looked at his teacher for instructions on what to do next.
"Congratulations on being able to control your mana, that is the second step after creating your mana core."
"Now that your control of mana has improved you should be able to speed up a bit, but don't go too fast because that can ruin the pelt, which you need. Unless you want to run around naked in the forest. Make sure that you don't mangle the meat either as it will be useful later." His teacher then proceeded to observe Havok butchering the elk and corrected any mistakes he saw Havok making. He also talked to him about killing, skinning, bleeding and butchering beasts.
When Havok finally finished, he was covered in sweat and the blood of the elk. He was breathing heavily, and he looked exhausted. This was his first-time controlling mana and he did it for an extended period of time. It was mentally draining and cutting through the skin, meat and bones was physically draining. He panted as he laid down on the ground, not worrying about the blood on him.
"Good job, from now on as long as the body of the beast is not too badly damaged, I want you to practice this on every beast you kill. Once you catch your breath, this next part will be done quickly then you go clean up and you'll eat after that."
Havok nodded while he was trying to catch his breath. A few minutes later he was feeling better and finished up. Once he was done, he went to clean up in the waterfall. He was still tired, so he sat down and let the water fall on him. Luckily for him it wasn't too high and felt more like an aggressive massage than feeling painful. The cold water was also relaxing and felt good on his worn-out muscles.
As he sat there relaxing, Havok gradually fell asleep. While he was sleeping Havok for the first time in his life had a dream. It was more like a fantasy for the current him, it was about how he envisioned his perfect life.
He created a small yet powerful organization with a few trusted subordinates. He only had to handle matters that felt important to him or things that only he was strong enough to deal with. Other than that, he got to travel and relax. Aside from being in the library, this was the first time he could imagine having fun and truly enjoying himself.
He only slept for a short while, but it was long enough to refresh him, and he felt a newfound resolve as he was able to visualize his goals.
Growl!
His stomach sounded like a starving animal for the first time since he absorbed mana. He was hungry and it was not just a normal hunger. He was hungrier than he had ever been before.