Tara POV
“This isn’t real…” I murmured. “I must be dreaming."
It couldn’t be true. I was not a monster. My mother was not a monster. This was a terrible dream and I needed to just wake up.
My mother came towards me and I stepped back. She halted as a pained look crossed her face.
“Honey, it is all real and if you give me a moment I will explain.”
Shaking my head, I shut my eyes tight and walked backwards. “Wake up… Wake up… Wake up… Wake up.” My back hit the wall and I felt the coolness of its surface sink through my shirt to my skin.
Not a dream. My mouth went dry as my legs grew weak and I sank to the floor.
My mother’s cool hand cupped my cheek and I opened my eyes.
“It’s not a dream, honey, we are werewolves,” she confirmed. I looked up into the eyes of my mother so full of concern and placed my hand over hers knowing her touch was real. She helped me back up to my feet. But I stepped back from her warily.
“I know you have so many questions and I will answer all of them but I need you to trust me.”
I lost my speech. What was I supposed to say? Why did she hide this from me? All I could do was stare at her.
“I understand how you must feel.” She nodded with a pleading look in her eyes. “I am still your mother, Tara, and I love you. I would have never hid any of this if I didn’t think it was for your own benefit.”
I shook my head, “But I think I would know if I carried some mythical wolf gene.”
“Your wolf may be dormant for now, but that’s because you haven’t been in touch with her; her subtle power is there. I know this is a lot to take in and you will need time to digest. So I will give you all the time you need.”
I tried to comprehend and be understanding of what she said, but it was easier said than done. “This…is too much. How could you hide something like this from me?”
“Because I thought it would be easier for you, and I thought you would be safe here with me! But I realized I let things go on for far too long… today is the anniversary of his daughter’s murder…”
“Murder? I thought she was killed in an accident.”
She looked over at Tim’s unconscious body. “I’m so sorry I brought him into your life. His daughter was killed by werewolves years before we met. I didn't know that and he didn't know I was a wolf until it was too late.”
What did she mean it was too late?
Mom took a pause and she sighed, “The mate bond pulled us together… Tim and I can’t leave each other because we’re bonded. And I can see it’s not safe here for you any more.”
It took me a few seconds to understand what she was implying.
“Mom, are you telling me to leave?!” I searched her face desperately for reassurance but found none. I felt a panic rise in me at the thought of my mother putting me out.
I was only 17. Where was I supposed to go?
“So many died and suffered. When your…our Alpha fell, all hope was lost. We knew the Luna would soon follow because of the mate bond.”
What was she talking about? Alpha? Luna? Mate bond?
She put a calming hand on my shoulder.
“The Alpha was the leader of our pack and the Luna was his mate. They shared a beautiful mate bond that held them to each other in life and in death.”
“So, is that what Tim is to you? He is your mate?”
My mother looked away for a moment before nodding. “When I met him, I thought I was the luckiest woman on earth. He was a dream come true. I knew he lost his daughter. We used to visit her grave every year on her birthday…”
She wiped at the tears spilling on her cheek.
“We were hiking a few years ago and he was in trouble. I had to shift to save him, but ever since then…”
“Why didn’t you just leave him?”
“Because, I can’t. You may never understand until you find your own mate one day. It’s like this pull that you are a slave to.”
I bit my tongue. She called the mate bond beautiful, but how could this mate thing be good if you were a slave to it?
“I should rephrase that. It’s a pull that cannot be ignored. Once mates claim each other it’s a bond that can not be broken, not even in death.” She shook her head with a sad smile on her lips. “I can’t leave him.”
My heart cracked at her words. She couldn’t leave him but she was willing to lose me? Was this really the same woman that raised me? Once upon a time I remembered being her whole world. She had told me enough times for me to believe it.
I was her daughter after all. I should have been the number one priority in her life, not him.
I grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes begging her. “Mom, we can leave together. We can vanish and he will never have to find out where we went. I am tired of living in this nightmare and I know you are too. Mom, please. Come with me.”
She opened her mouth and then closed it almost immediately. That’s when I knew her answer.
“I know you want me to leave with you, but it’s not that easy for me, Tara. He is my mate and I love him with everything I have in me.” The way she said love was almost like she regretted it. Whatever they shared wasn’t love, it was bondage.
If this was the so-called mate bond, I wanted nothing to do with it!
“And I am your daughter!” I screamed.
She hesitated.
With tears brimming my eyes I stared at my mother like I hardly recognized her, because I didn’t. I had always been told that a mother’s love for her child was unlike any other. That a kind of love like that could never be broken, but yet here I stood.
The love my mother had for Tim was stronger than the love she had for me.
“Where am I supposed to go? How am I supposed to survive on my own?”
“I wondered the very same thing when I brought you here with me. I wasn't much older than you are now. We come from a very strong pack nestled in the forest lands between New York and the Canadian border. We were part of the First Moon Pack and our Alpha was a strong leader…”
I could see that it pained her to remember.
“You have the blood of warriors in your veins, Tara. I promise you that you are much stronger now than I ever was. I came here to hide. I thought we could just remain human and leave it all behind us…
“Another Alpha and Luna took over the pack after I left. I remember both of them being good people from good families. They had two sons that would be about your age. I remember you and their youngest were born the same year. They were even there for…”
She trailed off and took in a deep breath. She gave me a strange look and lifted her hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. I could tell she was holding something back.
“There for what?” I asked.
She shook her head as if shaking away the subject.
“If you decide to look for them, start in Forest Bend and work your way to the border. It will take some time to get used to pack life. You didn’t grow up there, so you may feel like an outsider. But never forget that you are just as good as anyone there.”
I sniffed, she was letting me go. The fact tore at my heart.
I stared at her for a few moments. Finally, I took a deep breath and croaked, “Okay, mom, I’ll go."
She squeezed my hand, staring into my face as if she were trying to memorize it.
I could see the sadness swimming in her irises. But, I couldn't empathize with her. I was too overwhelmed by the hurt and betrayal I felt as it all truly sank in.