*Tia*
Phone ringing
Me (annoyed): Cinthya, your phone dude!
Cinthya (picking up): Yes man! (Speakerphone) In the morning like this, don't you know I'm sleeping?
Me: But take the speaker off (growling) You're wasting my sleep.
Cinthya (to me): Move! (To the person on the other end of the phone) Yes I am listening!
She: Well, there's an outing planned in Cape Town, a little picnic just with the team from yesterday!
Cinthya: I'm always up for a party sista! The membership fee?
Her: Just buy the drink, you're 5 there right?
Cinthya: Yes
Her: Get enough drink anyway! I'll pick you up with the old lady's double booth at 1pm! Click
Cinthya (rushing me): Kid, wake up, we have to go out! Guys, get up, there's still a party going on!
Her cousins: Always up for it, sister!
The other girl: Of course!
Me: Hmm.
When we wake up well, I'm going to see Cinthya so I can decline the invitation.
Me: You know that right now I already spent 15,000 yesterday, so I'd rather go home.
Cinthya: Rooooh you're making me tired Tia! Did I ask you for your share? I know you've already spent too much. I'll chip in for you! You need to relax a bit, I know you're going to have your vacation job soon and it's going to take up a lot of your time, so if I can help you relax a bit, I don't mind! You are my friend Tia, even if I don't know if you consider me as much in return, I appreciate you a lot especially because you have a lot of values and principles, not like me who is only a good boro (laughs).
*Boro (Gabonese slang) = Bordelle, girl who likes men too much.
What she says touches me because I realize that in spite of her crazy side, her men's business and her few blunders, Cinthya has always wanted to help me! She always wanted to help me, even if it was by offering me weird stuff, she was always there!
Me: Man, you know you are my good buddy too and I like you, except when you want to associate me with men. I don't want that anymore, understand?
She: Yes I got it Mrs. Lioness, put your claws away, I'm not a man! I have a kekette!
We burst out laughing! She is crazy this girl.
Since I had not taken along outfits for the beach, I make a fast turn at my new home.
Me (entering): Hello darling!
Her : Hello Tia, how are you ?
Me : Yes yes, well I'm doing a quick tour, I have to go out again to go to the beach.
Her: Ok oh, easy there oh, people often die at the beach, um be careful oh!
Me: Don't worry!
It takes me a good hour before I meet the girls at Cinthya's entrance at 1pm, her cousin parks and we leave for Cape Town.
We settle down on mats, loincloths and we make our picnic.
I am sitting quietly when I see the two cousins of yesterday getting excited.
Cousin 1: Mani Mani, the sugar in sight!
Cousin 2: It's now or never.
I look up and catch his insistent gaze on me, I stare back at him and look away.
Cousin 2: Oh shit, his go is here!
Cousin 1: What the hell do I care! Today, her guy is going to leave her!
Cinthya (to cousin 1): You're always like that! Not even that the girl there hits you a little!
Cousin 1: My dear, in war as in war! Power is snatched away!
My ears are burning from so much stupidity but I'm not saying anything!
I get into my swimsuit and put a sarong over it, I lay close to Cinthya and she tells me about her many adventures.
Cinthya (looking at me): What's that girl doing like that? Mameeeh
Me: All this for a person who doesn't pay attention to you!
In fact Cinthya's cousin (well, I'll give you her first name anyway: Elsa) is seriously twerking in the field of vision of the famous Neal Stone.
She is twerking and swaying like never before. Except that um, this is where the palaver starts !
Cinthya: Tia, I think the guy wants you! Ever since his go in the water, he's been staring at you!
Me: I don't give a shit!
Cinthya: Problem in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!
Elsa (coming towards us): Tia, can you explain to me why he stares at you so much? (Frustrated)
Me (not really looking): Go ask him!
Elsa (yelling): Cinthya frankly you're supposed to support me in my endeavor because I'm your sister, but you'd rather stay with your buddy, draw my Peter's eye to her?
Dzidzi, with "my Peter"! Jesus my father!
Cinthya: The hemp you smoke, you have to dry it. Thank you very much! And you change your tone with me!
Elsa: I don't even know why he's looking at you, you don't even have anything compared to m...
Me (cutting her off): Elsa, you've been busting my balls since yesterday! Do you want him? Go ahead and seduce him, I don't give a shit! Unlike you, I don't look for men, I don't give a damn! He looks at me, that's his problem. If you want to chase after a man who doesn't even look at you despite your Kim Kardashian size, that's your problem. But please shut up in front of me and let me enjoy my afternoon! The next sentence I find inappropriate is my hand in your face.
They were all stunned because they didn't expect it!
I hate it when people give me a hard time, especially for trivial things.
First of all, your Peter Neal, I'm going to say two words to him, it seems that he didn't understand well.
I get up and I go straight to him, I don't give a damn that he is with his girlfriend here, it's good timing, I'll tell him to calm down his boyfriend's ardor.
Me (facing him): I thought the message got through but apparently not! I want you to stop staring at me like that. I'm not interested in you, go back to the women you like. See that girl over there? (pointing to Elsa) She's the kind who's after you, otherwise you'll leave me at 37. Besides, don't you have a girlfriend? Pfff, I see the kind of man you are! (Staring at him) It annoys me that you're looking at me and you stop it right away.
Him: Good evening first Tia!
Me (pawing): I'm not here for goodies, you stop it and that's it! Bullshit!
I turn around and run into Nala.
She: What did he do to you again?
Me: Tell your brother to stay focused on his girlfriend. Because if he keeps on me, it's not his hand that's going to go, but his balls that I'm going to hit.
Her: Lol, then you'll have to go over my body!
We gauge each other with our eyes!
Me: I already warned, and I don't talk twice! Have a nice day!
Her: I only have one word too! But you'll even end up being in love with my brother, LOL! Ciao
I go on my way, pfff I want to punch her brother, and her, I want to press her mouth!
I sit down and tell Cinthya when I see 3 girls appear in front of me.
The middle one: Can I know what you were doing with MY guy?
Wèhèèèèè it's my day or what?
I got up and grabbed her hand and pulled her over to her guy's house.
Me: There's your guy, you have to ask him the question. And also, first and last time you come and stand in front of me!
Her: Because who are you?
Me: Ask YOUR guy! Bullshit.
I turn on my heels.
Pissing myself off because of someone I don't even know or calculate.
Cinthya (laughing): You're in the mood to punch someone, huh?
Me: I'm always in the mood to punch! She shows up in front of me again and I will seriously hit her. If she thinks my thin body means lack of strength, then she will be surprised.
Me I hit oh, so tell the Stone-Neal fanatics to cool their heels with me!
***Neal***
Melvina (annoyed): Who is that bitch Neal? Who's that bitch?
Me: Nobody!
Her: Nobody? Nobody? And she tells me to ask you? Who are you kidding? Who are you kidding, Neal?
Me (serene): I said she's nobody! Except for a stranger that I stared at and...
Her (flipping out): ARE YOU MOCKING ME Neal? So I turn my back and you look the other way, you're just a BIG DOG! A big dog, asshole.
Me: You're changing your tune with me Melvina!
Her: I don't change anything, you're a dog, I thought you were different from other men but no, I turn my back 30 seconds and you look at another.
Nala (behind me): Because what are you? If not a big dog! Look at a crazy woman like that!
Melvina: You shut up Nala, don't push me around!
Nala: Wèhèèèè, Melvina, are you ignoring me or how is it?
I'm listening to them argue, I'm not intervening because my heart's on fire and my head is pounding from what Nala just told me!
In fact, when Melvina went to see Tia with her friend and her cousin, Nala came to show me some elements that prove that Melvina has STILL done wrong and it's been a year and a half that this girl takes me for a fool.
I let them bicker and I go back to the villa where I find Auntie Neïla, Alia, Ya Liyanah and her husband.
Alia: How is it that you look so strange?
Me: I'll explain you after Alia!
Auntie Neïla: Where are the girls?
Me: Fighting on the beach.
Her: Who provoked who again? We said relax!
Me: I have a headache auntie, I'm going upstairs to rest for a while!
She : Ok oh, but your girlfriend, you have to tell her to calm down.
We only see Nala coming in furious
Her (speaking quickly): Neal, you get this girl out of your life! I swear, if you don't, I won't say another word to you.
Me: Breathe!
She only taloned me and went upstairs.
The others only burst out laughing, she doesn't like to be told that, especially when she's angry.
Melvina arrives in her turn with her torn paréo, her partners are not better than her.
Auntie Neïla: So the big mouth and it is Nala who hits you three?
Melvina: I'm out of here!
Alia (delighted): Good luck! But you're not getting into Dad's car! You want to be cheeky, you'll use your feet to get home.
Me: I'm just warning you Melvina, you're breaking something in my mother's house, it's your parents that I'm going to go to see to pay for it.
Auntie Neïla: Let her only dare!
Melvina is the kind who, when she is angry, she has to break something.
She calmed down her ardour because even in the greatest of madnesses, you know yourself that you cannot break Mrs. MAYE's decoration which contains only unique pieces.
Me (knocking): Can I come in?
Nala: No, get out of here Neal!
Me: Open it first!
She lasted to open, she likes to sulk too much this girl.
Me (lying down): Do you want to go home or sleep here?
Nala: Go home and talk to my mom!
Me: What a big baby, you don't even have any shame.
Nala (angry): Talking about your stories, about your girlfriend cheating on you and disrespecting you, I'm going to tell her everything since you don't want to kick her out of your life.
Me: Nala, do you really think I will forgive that?
Nala: I don't give a damn. I'm going to tell Mom!
Me: She and I ended the moment you spoke. I'm angry Nala, but I can't let myself explode, I need to go home and settle down.
She comes and lies down beside me.
Nala (huffing): I will find you a girl who deserves your kindness, your big heart, your loyalty, don't worry, Nala always has the solution.
Me: But less invasive than you!
Nala: Ah move! You're my twin, so I have to stick with you.
Being in a relationship for 4 years and realizing you've been cheated on for more than ¾ of it, nothing worse.
To be continued....