I sat in Principal Malcolm's office with my fists folded on my lap as I tried my very hardest to not bite my finger nails while my mother yelled heaven and hell on him. My eyes were shut tight as I attempted to count to a hundred, praying silently that when I was done counting it'll all be over.
My eyes flew open at the sound of something crashing on the rugged floors. My mother's green eyes were blazing and Principal Malcolm looked like a frightened cat.
"You're not expelling her," my mother shouted. "I'm withdrawing her!"
And there it was. I knew from the moment my mom walked into my room this morning with her favourite red dress on and her ridiculously red high heels that she was going to take me away from this school. What I didn't expect though was the fact that Principal Malcolm wanted to expel me.
"God bless your soul Malcolm that I didn't bring my lawyer and the rest of the police force to back me up today. How dare you say Amanda will be expelled? After everything she's been through."
Principal Malcolm put his hand out in a lame attempt to calm my mother down. She didn't appreciate the gesture anymore than she appreciated his earlier suggestion.
"Mrs. Jackson, try to understand from my po–"
"Understand what?"
If nobody heard their earlier conversations, they most definitely heard my mother scream that.
"My daughter is the fucking victim!"
I winced when she said the 'f' word. I hated it when she swore. It made her sound undignified and my mother was far from that.
Principal Malcolm turned to face me since it seemed like talking to my mother was useless.
"Amanda, do you want to stay here?"
I looked at my mother for a brief second and I didn't miss the irritated frown lines that appeared on her forehead. She looked about ready to burst.
"Why are you asking her that question, Malcolm? You're the one who wanted to expel her."
Principal Malcom ignored her and probed me to answer by raising his brows.
With my eyes staring straight into his unyielding black ones, I replied stoically:
"I don't want to stay here anymore, Principal Malcolm. I hate it here. The fact that I am being hated and punished when I am the victim is a real deal breaker. Like my mother said, I will be withdrawing from here."
I could feel my mother smiling from behind me. I was certain that her dimples were showing and if she weren't pissed off, she would have been tearing up from how proud she was of me for saying that.
I, on the other hand, didn't feel as confident as I sounded. The only reason I was able to say what I said to principal Malcolm was because my mom was standing behind me ready to back me up if worse came to worst.
Principal Malcom stared at me unflinchingly and it took a great deal of willpower to not shy away from his intense gaze.
The back of my chair was gripped tightly and I just knew my mother wanted so badly to slap his pale, lifeless cheeks.
"I'll be back tomorrow for her discharge papers and when I come back they better be ready or else…"
There was no need for her to complete that sentence. She was sure that Principal Malcolm got the message.
Outside was moist and the irritating glare of the sun added to my already agitated state. My mom squeezed my hand lightly and smiled at me.
"Everything's gonna be alright Amanda. You'll see."
I so badly wished I had my mom's confidence and optimistic mind but I didn't.
I couldn't for one second believe that I would get accepted into another school with what happened to me at my old one.
I couldn't believe that everything would be alright and I would stop having nightmares about being unconscious in a dark, moist and smelly building.
Worst of all, I couldn't believe that I was indeed the victim.
No matter how many times my mom, lawyer and social care workers sang it in my ears, what the people at East Valley High said kept ringing in my head and I was convinced that everything was my fault and that I caused what happened.
I was a home wrecker and I was the reason why everyone's favourite teacher was arrested. It was all my fault.
When we got home I went straight to my bedroom. I heard my mom call me a couple of times but I ignored her. I wasn't really in the mood to talk about potential schools with her.
A poster of the front view of Carlisle's Academy for the Gifted stared back at me on my bed and I sighed.
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to go there. It was the Harvard of high schools and the only place I felt was worthy of my great abilities.
The only problem was it was crazy expensive and scholarships were hard to get.
I never applied for a scholarship mostly because I was scared of finding out that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. So much for my 'great abilities.'
Laying on my bed and thinking of what I had already gone through and what other terrible things might happen in the future, I decided that maybe applying now and not getting in wouldn't be the end of the world.
The only person I knew who could give me the confidence boost that I so badly needed then was ten blocks away from me and outside was freaking cold. I didn't know how to drive and I was damned to ride my bike again in the rain after what happened the last time.
Not really having a choice in the matter, I grabbed my jacket and raincoat and made for my bedroom door. I was down the stairs and on the slippery road in record time.
When I finally got to the bookstore, I was panting like a dog in heat. Man, I hated running!
The store was almost empty like it usually was and so it was easy to spot Jerry by his favorite ailse staring wistfully at all the action novels on the shelf.
As I was about to approach him, I tripped on a stray cable.
My eyes were shut close in anticipation of the fall that was to come, but after a couple of seconds passed without any deep impact that would cause me pain and possibly bodily harm, I slowly opened my eyes.
I had not fallen on the floor but somehow managed to fall into the arms of someone. Lucky me.
"Jerry's trying to fix the TV on aisle six. For some reason he thinks keeping all these wires on the floor would make it look like he is doing a full blown renovation on the place. Try not to trip on any of them, would ya?"
No sound came out of my mouth as I stared at the person in front of me. I was busy trying to figure out where he came from because I didn't remember seeing anyone near me when I walked in through the front door.
Jerry spotted me and gestured to me to come over before I could say anything smart and audible and I was glad because I probably looked like an idiot to the guy that saved me with my not-thanking him and just staring.
"What a pleasant surprise. I thought I wouldn't see you for like a very long time."
The way Jerry smiled at me just made me smile back. I was so happy to see him after everything that happened.
"Even if I don't talk to other people, Jer, I'll still talk to you," I said and walked over to his desk while he tailed me. Then I pulled closer a chair that was sitting next to his desk so we could talk without having anyone – even though the store was practically empty – hear us.
The fact that he owned the bookstore but still acted like a customer never ceases to surprise me every time I saw him standing by the action novels ailse.
Jerry was staring at me intently while he played with his fingers and I knew he had a lot of questions to ask me. My right hand immediately moved up and stopped right in front of my mouth and in recorde time, the nail of my index finger was being chewed away happily.
"Jerry…" He interrupted me before I could get the words out.
"I gotta ask…"
"I don't wanna talk about it Jerry," I said resignedly.
He didn't say anything and just looked at me with pity and some other barf-worthy emotion. I hated it when people looked at me like that.
"They are all idiots and you deserve better," he said finally.
I smiled at him and finally put my hand down. My nail was almost completely gone but at least I wasn't feeling the need to run out of the store screaming my lungs out while pulling out my curls.
"I actually came here to discuss something really important with you," I said and drummed my fingers on his desk. He pouted and bent his head like a dejected person.
"And here I was thinking you came over to see me."
I playfully rolled my eyes at him and tapped his hand lightly.
"I did miss you a lot but this is really important. I want to attend CAG."
Jerry didn't move. For a moment I thought he was having a stroke but then the lines on his face started to twitch until his lips were spread out in a full blown smile. Then he shouted.
"I cannot believe this! You are finally coming to your senses and realizing your full potential. Oh my God!"
His excitement was infectious and I soon found myself smiling too.
His computer was put on and just as he was about to type something in, the smile on his face faded and was replaced with a confused scowl.
"What about EVH?"
I huffed in annoyance and adjusted my sitting position.
"Principal Malcom wanted to expel me so my mom decided to withdraw me."
"That racist piece of shit!" Jerry exclaimed disgustedly. I was surprised by his outburst but at the same time amused by it and the corner of my mouth twitched to prove that.
"I don't think it was a race thing."
I don't know why I was even defending Principal Malcom. I hated the guy.
"It was most definitely a race thing. It's Principal Malcom we're talking about here."
I knew for a fact that Jerry hated Principal Malcom and the older man felt the same way. I guess it was because when Jerry attended the school, Malcom was always on his case while Jerry was always getting in some kind of trouble.
He went back to typing away at his keyboard while I shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know if it was a race thing and I don't care to know. All I know is I am no longer a student of EVH, I will most definitely be spending the rest of my junior year being home schooled, but my senior year will be done at CAG."
I could not believe how confident I sounded when I said that last part. Even Jerry was amazed by it and gave me two thumbs up.
"Why don't you come over here and check out their website while I attend to my customers?"
I stood up from where I was sitting on the opposite side of his desk and walked over to the now vacant swivel chair and settled down.
"You don't have any customers, Jer," I said and smirked.
"Well there's one approaching right now so jokes on you."
He turned around to face his customer while I went through CAG's website.
"You come here every single time. Don't you have some where else to be or something you'd rather be doing?" I heard Jerry ask.
"If I didn't come here everytime, you'd be out of business by now."
My head was rocketed upwards at the sound of the familiar voice.
"Why the hell are the both of you saying such mean things to me?" Jerry asked sulkily while pointing an accusing finger at me and the boy in front of him.
On cue, the boy turned to face me while I stared back at him. He was the same person who kept me from falling on my face earlier.
"I guess she's also smart," he said without breaking eye contact with me. That statement he made brought a smile to my lips and a blush to my cheeks. Thank God for my slightly darker skin.
Jerry muttered something and handed him his newly purchased book.
"If you were smart you'd stay in school like the rest of your peers."
The boy snatched the book from Jerry and stared at him coldly.
"If you were smart you wouldn't chase away your only customer by saying things they don't like."
A chortle escaped my lips and the boy turned to face me. I held my breath as his gaze pierced through me.
I thought for a second that he was going to lash at me the way he did Jerry but he didn't. Instead he gave me a half smile before turning around and walking towards the exit.
"See you later, Jer," he said over his shoulder before disappearing through the door.
"You know even after everything that boy has said to me, I still love him so damn much."
I shook my head at how silly he looked proclaiming his love for the guy that just left and pulled his attention back to my issue.
Jerry was talking me through how to apply for the scholarship and giving me a pep talk but I wasn't listening to him. I was too busy thinking about whether I should ask him for the name of the guy who just bought my favorite novel or not.
Frown lines started to appear on my forehead as I thought intently about this. My pinky was stuck between my teeth and my legs slowly started to jounce.
"Hey, hey, hey," Jerry said, taking my finger out of my mouth and putting an end to the movement of my legs.
"You don't have to be nervous about anything. You'll most definitely get into CAG. You are the smartest person I know and no one deserves to go there as much as you do."
I didn't know if I should feel touched about how he cared about me or call him out for being so clueless as to think that I was worried about getting into CAG. Of course I was worried, but that wasn't what was on my mind at that moment.
Not doing either of the options mentioned, I nodded and turned my attention back to his computer, this time though all thoughts of the boy from earlier were gone and I was once again plagued by my insecurities.