Chereads / IN THE FIRST DEGREE / Chapter 10 - CHAPTER EIGHT-REALITY CHECK

Chapter 10 - CHAPTER EIGHT-REALITY CHECK

After the local police once again tore up my home, took things that did not belong to them. Things of my parents, and things of mine and left things on the floor, Zander stayed to help me clean up. I was emotional and tired of the same routine. I the moment, I felt incredibly alone. I could feel my best friend slipping away and here we were, a stranger in my home helping me go through the trash and memories of my past, and no sign that anything was going to change. Nothing was going to be solved. Having him here made me feel content and vulnerable, almost grateful in a way, even being here with a stranger. From the hall closet, I grabbed the broom to sweep the broken glassware around my living room table. I sighed out of frustration as I fixed the pillows on the couch. I knew I would never get out of this nightmare and get the closure I deserved. Tears escaped my eyes as I swept the trash, broken glass, and feathers from the pillows into the dustpan and the trash. Bending down in front of my table, I saw a picture frame knocked underneath my couch. I pulled it out and sat down in front of the table. I recognized the photo immediately and covered my mouth, silencing my outburst of tears. The photo was of me and my parents in Hawaii two years ago during spring break. We were posing silly and were incredibly happy that day. With a sense of urgency, I gripped the frame tightly as the tears flowed hot down my face, holding it close to my heart and moving my head downward between my legs. 

We love you, sweetheart…You're so close…

My head shot up and whipped my head around the room. I could hear them. 

You know what happened to us, baby…Please set us free…

I was hearing things. I was imagining it. It wasn't real. I put the frame back on the shelf by the TV where it belonged. I finished the pile and threw the trash away as the pain in my head began to take over my body and I felt like I was shutting down. I cringed and screamed out loud in pain, bending over the kitchen sink. I couldn't breathe. Someone was cutting off my airflow. I felt like I needed to drink something to relax, I opened the bottle of pop Silas gave me and downed it in one gulp. I felt sick. My head started throbbing again and began coughing uncontrollably. 

Juniper spit that out! Don't drink it! It's been messed with! 

My head felt like it was being split into two. All I could hear was incessant chanting of my parents in my ears and I covered my ears to make it stop to drown out the noise. 

Don't trust him, baby…Silas cannot be trusted….

The room was filled with yelling and screaming, almost as if I was surrounded by people I didn't know. I was in a fetal position shaking back and forth as my fists pounded the floor beneath me as the pain in my head continued. My insides felt like they were being crushed and I could not breathe. I closed my eyes and screamed in agony as I heard footsteps coming near me and I moved away slowly. "No, Please go away! Stop!" 

"Juniper! Hey, Juniper, look at me! It's Zander. You're okay. It's okay." A booming voice pierced through the voices and silence. My body went limp for a moment and I slowly opened my eyes. I took a breath took the hand he held out and stood up, leaning against the sink, breathing rapidly. "I…heard….them…" 

Zander looked at me confused and concerned. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. "I'm alright. I'm sorry about this. I get like this from time to time and it only seems to happen when I see photos or touch the belongings of my parents, I just get this splitting headache and I start hearing voices. It's like a movie in a constant loop of flashbacks and visions of things that I didn't even know happened." I moved to the couch and sat down, still with shaky hands and he just sat and listened, hanging on to every word. For the moment, it seemed easy enough to talk to him. He didn't judge me or make me feel unsafe to talk to him. "Thank you, Zander." I laid my head on his and he wrapped his arms around me and held me at the waist. I felt safe and secure for the moment. I laid my head on his chest and heard his heart beat and was the sweetest thing I ever heard. I was not one to fall in love or let anyone in. I closed myself off the moment my parents disappeared. I took note of the way he smelled; a mix between a forest scent and aged black cherries. 

He smelled so good…

He ran his hand through my hair in a soothing manner, almost to remind me that I wasn't alone. "Whatever you need, Juniper. I am here for you." 

I smiled and pulled away from him, looking into his eyes to see the piercing blue eyes that attracted me to him in the beginning. Caught in the moment, I pressed my lips to his. A single tear ran down the right side of my face. I felt his lips part with mine as they did the song and dance of the century. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his lap. Straddling him, he moved his hands against my hips, grinding me on the bulge that was forming inside of his tight jeans and his mouth moved to the base of my neck. I let out a soft moan as my front door burst open. I turned around to see Silas standing in the doorway. I jumped off his lap, wiping my bottom lip and running my fingers through my hair to straighten myself out. 

Zander moved his arm across the back of the sofa. "'Sup?" 

Silas felt his face turn bright red and hot with anger as he pulled the prototype from his back pocket. "I could kill you in an instant, Zander. Did you forget that? Right here, right now. Dead. What the fuck were you thinking? I told you she was off-limits!"

Before I could mumble a word, Zander flew off the sofa and pushed him against the front door, holding him there by his throat. I could see the color on Silas's face change from bright red to pale white as he struggled to get out of his grasp, dropping the device in submission. I rushed to his aid as Zander turned, staring me down. I put up my hands and backed off as I could see him squeeze the life out of Silas. His words pierced deep into my heart and through my ears. 

"You do not ever fucking threaten me again. Do you forget where the fuck you belong?", he spat angrily, loosening his wrist before squeezing again. "This is the second time you have challenged me and I fucking do what I want, including fucking your friend and making her my pet if I so choose. Am I clear?" 

Silas nodded as Zander let his grip off his neck and threw him to the ground. Holding his throat and coughing aggressively. I walked over to him cautiously and lifted him by his arm before he pushed me aside. "You need to pick and choose a side, Juniper. I have spent way too fucking long trying to protect you, for you to be this stupid." With that, he grabbed the prototype, putting it into his back pocket before walking out the door; and slamming it behind him. 

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Okay, I'll admit, I was excited to go out with him. Was I crazy? Maybe so, but I wanted to see what was underneath the tough exterior he tried to hide behind and it was a much better alternative than sitting in front of the TV watching reruns of shows I have seen a million times over with a cold cup of noodles and a soft blanket. I felt a rush of excitement as we pulled up to a nice Italian restaurant just on the other side of town. He took my arm whilst I was lost in thought and led me inside. The atmosphere was calm and almost quiet, aside from the smooth jazz that was playing over the speakers above. I smiled over to the host as Zander took my head and walked me over to a small table in the back, lit by candles and surrounded by the smell of lavender from the candles surrounding it. He moved the chair so I could sit down and I looked up at him nervously. 

He whispered to the host before slipping something into his hand. He nodded to them before the host walked away with a smile. Zander sat cockily across from me, sliding off his blazer as a slim waitress with red hair and fiery red lips sat down two glasses, pouring clear Chanel into both glasses and placing a basket of warm breadsticks on the table. "Are we ready to order?", she said with a smile. Zander looked deep into my eyes. "What would you like, love?" I put my hands up in defeat and shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't good at this, obviously and he knew that. He went all out for me and here I was, just sitting like a moron. No words coming out at all. He smiled and spoke with a burst of laughter. "Just get two orders of the vegetarian lasagna and a side caesar salad for the lady please." 

I nervously took a sip of my wine and took note of him breaking apart the bread and spreading butter separately on each piece. I sat my glass down and cleared my throat, tracing my finger along the outside. "Thank you for taking me out tonight. My mother always told me I would be treated like a queen one day and I suppose today is that day." I smiled at the thought of my mother. She and I would go out to dinner now and then to have girl time, but I realized I had not been out since she went missing. He popped a piece of bread into his mouth before speaking. "It's no problem. I knew you needed to get out of the house and I wanted to vocally apologize for my behavior back at your home. That wasn't cool of me and I don't ever want to make you feel like I am this violent person all the time." He spoke gently before both of our plates landed in front of us. 

I took a whiff of the food and felt my mouth begin to water as I picked up my fork and took a bite before speaking. "I understand. Silas has been acting strangely since he got back home from his family camping trip. I guess I never saw a negative side until now." I began to stuff my face as I downed my Chanel. I was enjoying the moment, looking up his plate was nearly empty now. He poured more Chanel into my now empty glass, filling his own. I sat down with my fork and leaned forward a bit. "So, what's your story then?" 

He raised a brow. "Pardon?" 

"Do I need to repeat the question? What are you doing here? What's your story?" 

He smiled. "Well, what do you want to know? If I tell you everything now, we don't have anything to talk about later.", he said sarcastically. "I do understand where you are coming from about your mom and dad. My parents died when I was still young. Drunk driver." 

I felt my heart sink and took another sip of my wine. "I'm sorry to hear that. How did you manage?" 

"I didn't for a long time. I ended up throwing myself into studies because I wanted to be an astrologist. The night sky always fascinated me. Once I felt like I was ready, I joined an organization to help me grow. Somewhat like a military lifestyle. It worked for a long time up until recently. When I turned sixteen, I got an opportunity to study in Egypt and I thought it would have been a great starting point to move on with my life." 

I finished my glass, fighting back tears. I was amazed at his background. "So, why do you have a British accent if you lived in Egypt?", I asked curiously. 

"I grew up in the UK and I suppose the accent just stuck with me. I believe your father was stationed out that way, too wasn't he?" 

I swallowed hard. "I think so. I knew my Dad was in the Navy, but he never really told anyone where he was stationed half the time. He liked to keep that life separate from his home life with the family, I guess." 

I leaned back in my chair for a moment, glazing over him. he had a look of innocence I had seen once before, at our first meeting. He was just as lone in this world as I was, maybe a bit more. If anyone could understand me at that moment, I was glad it was him. "Both of my parents were in the Navy. That's how they met. The story will amaze anyone who would listen. I wish I could remember it, especially since I have heard it over a dozen times.", I said with a smile wiping a tear from my eye. 

Zander moved his plate aside and reached for my hand, squeezing it and smiling in gesture. "That must be so hard for you. To never know what happened to them?" 

I shook my head. "I have no idea. I came home from school one day and they were gone. There were signs of a break-in because the back door's glass was broken and looked like they knocked out the glass to turn the knob. There was blood from the door and into the kitchen, but nothing too severe. I have been getting flashes now and then of something different happening, though. Almost like an alternate universe of what could have happened to them, but I don't know what's real. It's been hard to make out. It's all just a little too confusing." 

He cocked his head to one side, letting go of my hand, pouring us the last of the wine. "Did you tell the cops what you saw in these flashbacks? Are they dead or are they missing?" He spoke urgently as he passed me my glass. 

I shrugged, "I have no idea. I wish I knew. Silas isn't helping either. He has been my best friend since we were in the sandbox and diapers. The moment school began he has been so aloof, disappearing at odd hours, coming over when I don't know it and I don't even remember going to school the first few days, almost like I have gaps in my memories these days. It could just be stress." 

I downed the last glass and sat it down, looking across to him, taking note of the concern on his face. "That's not good, love. We need to look into that and find out what's going on there. It could just be stress, or something bigger could be happening here." He signaled for the waitress as I moved a hand across from my flushed face. "Check, please." He leaned forward and stared deep into my eyes. "I am going to help you, but I need you to trust me. I enjoyed dinner with you, Juniper. You're quite the catch." 

I blushed and stumbled upon my words. "Thanks. I guess. You may have to drive, though." He laughed out loud as he gave his credit card to the waitress as he signed the paid receipt. "Thank you very much. You have a great night." He nodded to the waitress and helped me out of my chair. I was not usually a drunk. Normally I would settle for one beer and be okay, but tonight opened my eyes to many possibilities, and letting go seemed to help, even if it was just for the moment. He pulled me up from the chair and walked me out toward the car. I felt a vibration coming from my purse and looked over to him. He plucked it out and hit the answer button as he leaned me against the passenger door to help sturdy me. 

He winked at me and put the phone to his ear, "Juniper's phone." He looked straight ahead, not saying a word. just nods of "yes" without context. My hands were waving in front of his face before he looked down at me, frowning. "I understand. We'll be right there." He ended the call and put the phone back into my purse, opening the door and helping me inside. 

"Zander, what is it? What's going on?" 

He shut my door and plopped into the driver's seat, turning the keys over with a sigh. He punched the steering wheel and mumbled under his breath. 

"Zander, what is it? Is it Silas?" I could see his body shift before putting the car in drive.

"That was Lieutenant Cooper. You were right. They just found your parents."