My story started when my parents divorced. I was born in the midst of a law-engaged war between consented adults that wouldn't give me attention. So, I often found myself looking at the wanness of life. Having no guidance as to what was normal, I forged my own personality based on Reality. "Hannah Montanna, Dora The Girl Explorer, Mickey Mouse, or Jimmy Neutron"--were never my pleasing love. I quickly alternated my stay at my papa's and mama's separated houses. Having two birthday's, two types of bed, two types of shitty fancy stories to sleep, always two of eveything.
At the age of 8, I transferred to another school that was closer to my mama's house. She had met a handsome man and decided to take me in. The Law house permitted her to have my guard as my papa was not that trustful. At that school, I was seen differently because of my colour. I was spoke to differently because I was alone. I was pointed for every cause of problems. And that went on for 2 years as my mama never cared for me.
I had seen on the net for a way to get an adult's attention and I tried it. Cutting my forearms with mama lover's gillette. Then again, she didn't spare me a look. It was as if I had no use real meaning to her eyes. My mother had always been silly but since the divorce, she had changed.
One night, she woke me up because her period was occurring and she was in so much pain that she started to beat me up. The next day, I was bruised and she had no souvenir of what had happened beforehand.
Hence, my life became pointless to the point, I tried to kill myself at one point.
But it didn't work and I was placed under the surveillance of my father.
I changed school and moved to my papa's place.
There, it was less fancy than in mama's place because papa was not working. She was oftenly using bad substance to deal with his sadness. And I got accustom to it, so much that I started to use what he used.
"Heroin, Meth, Xanax"---I'd gone through them till I got 15 years old. That's when a anonymous report the police trapped my dad. Still a minor, I was left on my own. But the state I was in couldn't allow that and sent me to an orphanage.
That's when I learnt that Reality was the best Instructor I could have.
During my stay at that orphanage, I met kids just like me. Left by their progenitors to deal with the world. As we spoke, I was taught that being 'silent' was the way to survive the place.
At night, as I was dealing with the cold, sleep wouldn't reach me. Taking slight looks around, I saw something I never thought was possible.
There was one of the old nun sitting by a kid's bed.
Using the kid's bed to touch herself, this went on for hours and the kid in question never rose an eyebrow ane that's how I understood what they meant to be 'Silent'.
That was my first lesson I leanrt to put to use. And so, at nights, that same old nun would use my virgin hands to her content.
Three years later, I had finally gained 18 years old.
Leaving the hell that was the orphanage, I was again left in the human world on my own.
Not my once did I thought of my progenitors because I was better off without them.
That same evening I was released, I made my way to a convenience store that was clearly never attended by any customer.
Having no money, I knew that to survive, I had to steal.
Being my first time, I was obviously not good at it and the nerdy guy at the story got me.
Speaking while the snot in his nose ran down, he told me this while locking me up in a room with only a mat and a clock at disposal.
"You funny looking girl has got gut but you funny girl will taste the power of karma soon."
Thinking that he was about to call the police, I was far from imagining that he was just the same as those old nuns.
And it happened every night at the same hour.
He would get himself naked and would force me into doing things I couldn't say 'no' to as he was obviouly stronger than me.
And each night, while my body was being used to that man's pleasure, I would think of my life before everything went wrong.
When mama and papa were lovers. When I had a single home. When I was happy...
"Ahh"
A moan of mine slipping as I accepted my situation.
"Ahh.. ah."
Acceptance of my situation whether I liked it. That was the sudden revelance that I had. In the past, I would keep----nah..
I didn't have to grieve of my situation anymore.
I was an adult.
I led a life of always letting others doing whatever they wanted to do with me.
That's when I decided who I wanted to be.
Growing up, I never had a guidance nor a parent to monitor my thoughts.
I grew up knowing very well the hardships of Reality.
That's right.
Reality was my instructor.
And I---
"Hey..."
Speaking while he was using me, he would continue without giving me much thought.
I thought to myself by then; "I guess that's my cue."
Moving my thumb to his asshole, I stroke it in, hard!
Screaming like a nerd he was, I grabbed his donger and tore it off.
As he ran off from fright, I got up slowly.
Enjoying that moment, I smiled from having taken over the Domination.
Picking up an orange flowery dress from the Clothes aisle of the store, I added in a yellow tennis that I found pretty.
A Beret for a bit of womanhood, I set off.
But before, there was still that nerdy guy, naked and pissing blood from where his donger was originally placed.
Looking at him, crawling for help and crying for help, I felt satisfaction I was going to put an end to a hopeless case.
"Your parents should thank me for freeing their mind of your presence, I should get paid for doing this, don't you agree?"
But all he replied was high-note screams and how unhinged I actually was.
He wasn't wrong.
The world decided to put in the world two incompetent adults that failed to take care of a simple-minded girl.
The world decided to put me through trials that no one should have gone through.
The world created meaning for people like me.
I am Arman Hosea.
And I am setting off to deliver a message to the world.
"You were mean to me, so, I guess I should be mean to you too."
[[To be continued.]]|||