Groaning, I turned my head on the pillow. I was exhausted. My whole body felt weird. My skin was prickly. I tried to recall why, but the more I try to think about it the more my headaches.
I needed water. My throat was so dry. I tried to open my eyes but my lids wouldn't budge. It felt like heavy logs were holding them down. I tried one more time and this time I was successful. I managed to open my eyes groaning all the way.
Vladimir. He was beside me holding my hands to his forehead. Why would he be in my room and touching me at that? Our relationship hasn't gotten there.
Our relationship hasn't gotten anywhere.
I closed my eyes trying to recall what had happened. And then it all came back to me in a rush.
We had gone to the pack house and when we came back.... heat.
I was on my heat last night and Vladimir wasn't there. The memory of the pain I had endured came rushing back.
That was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. It felt like my blood was boiling in my veins. I shivered. I had thought I was going to die, cause that's what it felt like.
Vladimir must have been lost in his thoughts as he hasn't noticed that I was awake.
I whispered his name, my voice sounding scratchy to my ears and he jerked up immediately. Standing up from the bed I could see that he was uncomfortable and did not know what to do. I was about to tell him that I needed water to break the awkward silence that we were in when he suddenly blurted that he was going to get me something to eat and left the room as fast as lightning.
It took longer than I had expected for him to come back with the food. He seemed nervous. Dropping the tray on the nightstand he dragged a chair over and sat down. Taking back the tray, he placed it on his lap.
This was the closest we have ever been to each other. I could feel the heat emanating from him and it warmed me up inside and I strangely felt better. The pounding in my head had drastically reduced.
I could see he was uncomfortable clearly from his body language. It was clear he did not know what to say. He just kept staring at me which made me feel all tingly inside.
"Are we eating or what", I said, again in a low voice. I guess my voice hasn't come back. From all the screaming I did yesterday night, it will be that way for a while.
"Yes of course. I don't think you are strong enough to eat by yourself yet, so if you don't mind me feeding you".
It was weird seeing Vladimir like this. On a normal day when he wasn't guilt-ridden his presence alone could command the room. But right now he seemed normal. He seemed like a normal person and not the ruthless Alpha that he is known to be or the cold aloof person he was to me. I didn't know what to think of it so I simply went with the flow.
I managed a small smile. "You really do not have to do that I can manage". I tried reaching for the tray but my hands felt so weak that they dropped without my consent.
"Let me do this, please". I could only nod seeing that I was stunned to see this side of him. I don't think I have heard him use that magic word since I met him.
I think I enjoyed the act of him feeding me more than the food. I mean it's not every day your gorgeous mate fed you. After the food, I felt more like myself, although I was not my usual self yet I felt a thousand times better than I had when I first woke up.
Vladimir dropped the empty tray on the nightstand and once again we lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
He cleared his throat. "Gianna, I would like to apologize to you. I am truly sorry for how things turned out last night". I looked down at my covered thighs not knowing what else to do.
I felt a hand on my chin and the familiar tingles that go with it. Lifting my chin so that I could see him. In his eyes, I could see the sincerity. He was sorry.
"I am so angry with myself because if I had been less of a coward you wouldn't be like this right now." I wanted to say something but he stopped me.
"Please know that it was never my intention to make you suffer like this. I also want to apologize for the things I said to you and how I've treated you since we first met. You don't deserve that". He paused "- It was wrong of me to treat you the way I did because of my issues and I'm sorry for that".
"It's alright," I said picking on the blanket on my lap because I didn't know what to do with my hands.
"It's not alright. Look", he looks directly into my eyes, and my breath hitches. "- I'm still not yet ready to welcome the mate bond, and that's because of my past and that has nothing to do with you or is it your fault, but I want us to be friends. We can start from there and see how things go".
Friends. Having my mate as my friend. It wasn't bad. Our relationship could grow from there.
"I'd really like that," I said with a small smile on my lips.
He nods standing to his feet, taking the tray along. "I'll excuse myself now, I'm sure your parents would like to see you". I nodded. And he left.
Not too long after he leaves my parents walk in and immediately they were all over me asking how I was doing and all that, but my mind wasn't fully here with them.
I kept thinking about Vladimir and the friendship he proposed.