The field spread as far as eyes could reach. A beautiful, saturated green filled the ground, mixed with the various distinct colors of flowers, which gently swayed in the wind. The sun shone directly over it, with only a few, white clouds hovering over the landscape. It was warm. Not a humid, unpleasant warmth, but a kind and gentle warmth that one could feel on one's skin, which was only supported by the occasional spring breeze.
In the middle of that field stood a girl. Her dark hair, which normally just reached over her shoulders, was tied into a ponytail, which in turn was hidden by the hood attacked to her jacket. Her gaze was set on the horizon, yet it wasn't focused. She just mindlessly stared into the distance, not moving an inch. How long had she been standing here? She didn't know. It felt like she had been walking on a path before, and before she knew it, she had arrived at this place. Even if she looked back, there was no path. Just more of the field. More soft grass. More colorful flowers.
This view was so stunning, yet the girl was unsure how she felt about it. Did she like it? Did she hate it? Did she have any feelings about it at all? Who knows. It didn't really matter.
After all, Kozaki Reina from Class 1-B was stuck here. There was no path forward, no path backwards. There was nowhere to go, and so Reina had no choice but to stand still.
She still remembered back when she just had a single path. Back when that was all she was used to. After all, the path had been paved for her. She went to Kindergarten, that was just decided for her. Then Primary School - she also had no say in there. Middle School was the same. And then... she came here. She could've gone to a higher school. She could've directly gone and taken a job. And yet she landed here, at the Kaizen Military and Government Academy. Why? Well, that should be quite obvious by now. It was decided for her.
"You need to decide on what you want. If you wait too long, the best opportunities will have passed. We don't expect much of you, but you need to think about your future," her parents had told her. What she wanted? That had made her chuckle. How the hell was she supposed to know what she wanted? What she wanted was to stay at home, to play online video games and to watch her favorite series and movies. And yet it was clear that wasn't a realistic option, at least that's what everyone had told her. That she 'needed to grow up and think realistically'. To 'start thinking like a proper adult'. The hell does that even mean? What does it mean to grow up? What does it mean to be an adult? Is it to know exactly what you're doing? To know what's right? To know how the world works?
If that was the case, then it should've been obvious to everyone that Reina was a failure of an adult.
"If you won't decide, we will," they said, showing her the digital recruiting poster of the Kaizen Academy. "We'll apply you here. If you can't find anything by the end of your middle school, you'll attend this military school, understood?"
Back then she had thought it was an empty threat. First of all, there was absolutely no way they'd accept her. She was a relatively unathletic, asocial girl with no useful skills. Second of all, Reina herself could veto the decision at any point.
And so the time went on. Reina didn't do anything. She thought about applying to the same schools as her classmates, yet she didn't. After all, it was a lot of work. And how would she know if a school was the right one for her? How would she know she was making the right decision? And so instead, she didn't make any decision at all.
And to her and her family's surprise, she got accepted. Were there maybe almost no other applicants, or was the person who had made these decisions just drunk?
Reina was scared. She was so anxious. Her, in a military based academy? Never. She can't imagine it. With every day that passed, she freaked out more. She didn't want to go. She also didn't want to go to a different school, or to get a job. Why couldn't time just stand still? Why couldn't she just stand still? She didn't want to make decisions. She didn't want things to change.
And so what did Kozaki Reina do to stop it? Nothing. Nothing at all. She just let it happen, and she herself didn't even know why.
Now she was here. In this place where she didn't belong. They seriously expect her to make it through these three years? To end up as a 'soldier' and 'leader'? Hilarious, truly hilarious. That didn't fit her at all. But then again, what did? She can't imagine herself holding any other job. Or to go to university. Her family was even pestering her about finding a partner and getting married. Ugh, that's the last thing she could imagine, it was bad enough to give her goosebumps. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that no future version of herself seemed realistic. Did she even have a future? Would she just change naturally, or was she supposed to 'grow up' through active effort, as her parents would say? The future made her so anxious, that she felt like giving up on it might be the best option. After all, there was no need to actively strive for a goal. To have a meaningful path in her life. All she had to do was to live for about eighty years or so, and try to not mess up majorly. Sure, it might not be the happiest or most fulfilling life, but that was fine. She had managed to get by day by day so far, so she was sure she would be able to do the same from here on. And if she couldn't, if she truly felt like she wasn't able to get through a day, then there was also no need to do so. She could simply take the easy shortcut to the end of her life.
Well, guess she won't find herself at an old age in her death bed, surrounded by her own loving family and friends, all crying as they wished her goodbye, reminiscing in all the amazing things she had experienced in her life. Another imagination that didn't fit her at all. Wow, even she was surprised at how cruel her brain was for coming up with that.
Reina sat in the classroom, chuckling to herself at her overly dark thoughts. It was the day after that horrible tournament. The class was discussing their experiences, and as usual, Reina was barely participating. That said, it wasn't like she wasn't thinking along. She had a lot of strong feelings about the topic. After all, she HATED it. When it was explained that it would be a physical fighting tournament, she had just wanted to run away, especially after seeing the two boys beating each other bloody. And so, when it was her turn, it was nothing other than humiliating and embarrassing. She would think back of her nervously stumbling out the words "I give up" and would get the immeasurable urge to crawl out of her skin. Turns out her fear of getting punched in the face was still bigger than her fear of speaking up, which is probably a great sign.
"Well done Reina, you still have some common sense, be proud," she thought to herself.
But it's not her fault! She didn't know what the secret test in the simulation would be, and even though she was scared of the unknown, Class B had come together to agree that they would all participate, so Reina was eventually pressured into it as well. And because of that everyone now knows that she really shouldn't be here. They're all probably thinking "Why is she even here?" at this point.
"What did you think, Reina? Do you have any take-aways that you'd like to share?" A gentle voice yanked her out of her depressive daydreaming, reminding her that she was currently in the classroom and actually not a dying grandmom. Take-aways, huh? Yeah, she realized that she'd rather stay jobless for the rest of her life than step into that simulation ever again, but she couldn't really say that.
"Ummm, no, not really," she eventually answered. What a great answer. Truly inspiring.
Akata looked at her with an understanding, almost pitying, smile. He was standing in the front of the class, writing down the points on the monitor in the front. They'd often have these class meetings in between classes, and they were always led by Akata Yashiro.
"No problem, then let's move on to the next topic; the upcoming class battles. I assume all of you have already gotten the message this morning, but the dates and detailed information of the class battles, which were previously mentioned by Director Mazato, have been sent to each student's phone. To recap, each class will fight against each other. That means that we will have to face off against Class A, C and D," Akata explained with an uncomfortable frown. It seems he didn't the idea of fighting against the other classes - Reina couldn't agree more. "A match will be a simple death match. Each class will get a predefined amount of points, with which they'll be able to buy gear from the catalogue. The match ends once all members of Class are 'dead' or once a class declares their defeat. Surrendering can only be done if every living member of a class agrees. There are some other, finer rules, so please read through the message by yourself," he continued the explanation. The word 'dead' made Reina shudder. Dying really didn't seem any fun. She wasn't able to complete the first task, where they had to take their own life, so the consequence was that the staff had eventually killed the remaining students themselves. Getting shot wasn't fun. It was horrible and painful. Back then, the only thing that had shot through Reina's mind was the hope that the pain would soon end. And yet she had woken up in a chair in the next moment. She didn't want to go through that again. Not to mention the way Hyoudo had died...
If she didn't want to go through that again, she'd have to win. But was that enough motivation to change her ways and finally be proactive? No, of course not. Reina was still Reina after all.
"Together with those rules, we also received the list of the matches," Akata continued, with a list showing up on the monitor behind him.
5th of September - Class A vs Class D
8th of September - Class B vs Class D
13th of September - Class B vs Class C
17th of September - Class C vs Class D
22nd of September - Class A vs Class B
26th of September - Class A vs Class C
Reina was glad that her class wouldn't have to go first, but still, they'd have two matches back to back. Just thinking about fighting the other classes made her want to lock herself up in a toilet stall - all of them were so scary!
"I dislike the idea of having to go into a cruel fight against our grade, but let's do our best! We still have a little over a month of time to prepare, so we'll have to use our time efficiently."
'Do our best', huh? Reina looked away, staring out of the window, until it was finally time for another class, and the students began to leave the room. And yet, when Reina followed suit, she was stopped.
"Sorry, Kozaki, I wanted to talk to you about something..." Akata started in the conversation as Reina was already in the doorframe. Uh oh.
"It's nothing serious, I just wanted to ask if you're feeling okay? It feels like you're being-"
At the threat of a social interaction, Reina's brain began to work twice as fast as it has before. There was only one way this conversation would go, or rather, only one thing Akata wanted to tell her. To show more effort. To actively participate in the class. He'd ask her if she was already giving her best, and if not, why?
Two giant buttons appeared in Reina's mind. To tell the truth or to lie. To admit that she wasn't motivated or to act clueless. Either way she'd feel like shit, wouldn't she? After all, everyone else was giving it their best, and yet here she was, holding them back simply because she was too incompetent to make decent life decisions.
So, everyone, which option will it be? It should be obvious by now.
"Sorry," she cut him off, "I have to go somewhere. Talk to you... some other time..." she said, before immediately leaving the room. The third option; to run away. Like she always did. Because Reina despised decisions. She didn't want to pick a path. Instead, she'll just stay on this field of beautiful flowers. Was she happy here? Who knows. But it was still better than walking on the wrong path.
After all, her parents had said it best.
'We don't expect much of you'. Exactly. Kozaki Reina was a failure, someone predestined to fail at everything she tried. It has always been like that and it always will be. So if she was going to fail either way, why would she suffer unnecessarily? She was just going to choose whatever option is the best for her current self, and whatever happens in the future doesn't matter. There was no need to actively strive for happiness. It wasn't worth going through a treacherous journey of the unknown, filled with fear, effort and failure, if all that was promised was a small chance at some kind of happiness that might not even last.
Reina walked through the hallway, not looking at anyone. She was going to her dorm, where she'd lie in her bed and play games on her phone. She'd do that every day, and eventually, the three years will have passed before she'd know it. Will she have changed in three years? Or will she still be standing on the same spot, feeling the same breeze while looking at the same flowers? Well, for now, that didn't matter.
The future is dark and unknown, so for now, all she wanted was to be all right in the moment. As long as she kept that up, she'd be fine.
There was no need to pave a path. There was no need to move. There was no need to change.