Ah, I feel warm. My body felt like it was floating, drifting through a field of flowers on a sunny day. I'm such an idiot aren't I? Thinking and thinking and thinking all the time, making myself have to worry about things. Seriously, I wish... life was like this all the time.
I smile. Alright! Where am I going to wake up this time? Maybe trapped under the gallows? Thrown into a moat of flesh eating fish? A noose tied around my neck? Maybe even buried underground, left to rot and wither away? The dream begins to fade away as I slowly return to reality, until I was fully awake. Like last time, I keep my eyes closed, hoping to keep the illusion going for a bit longer. I wait for the inevitable blow to the face, or something of the sort to rouse me awake.
...
It's not coming. Did they not notice?... Well, it doesn't really matter. I keep my eyes closed, relaxed and content with the way things are.
A few hours later I feel something lightly poke my cheek. "Still out cold huh? I guess I'll come back later." I heard a soft feminine whisper. A pleasant flowery scent tickling my nose. I then hear the steady thump of footsteps and a door close.
I open my eyes.
I was lying down on a soft mattress, my head laying on a pillow with a blanket over me. It's been almost a year since I've felt the comfort of a bed like this. I stretched my fingers, flexed my arms, tested my legs, took a deep breath in and out. Everything, my entire body had already totally recovered from the trauma it just went through. Which only means one thing.
Truly, Yesenia, you are a strange person. Only this world had people who had the power to speed up the healing process like this. So she had to have protected me when I passed out, then she must have gave the order to treat my wounds and a comfortable room.
"You're a royal, just like me, so who gave you the right to act like that?" I angrily murmured to myself. Yes, Yesenia was simply a kind person, and I couldn't accept it, so I made this whole fuss. I sigh, and then sit up straight. I even got a new change of clothes. I look out at the window. There were no bars or locks anywhere to be seen. If I wanted to, I could just fly away, just like that. That's how much blind trust that girl put into me.
I stare at the wall, lost in what I should do next. No... I know what I need to do next, there's one more person I need to talk to. I stare at the window, wind running through my body. Seconds pass, then they turn into minutes. I simply stare at it, my mind telling my body what to do, but it simply wasn't budging.
I can't get too friendly with these potential enemies. But... After being shown all this mercy. It could be that she's acting nice and being brave simply to get me on their side, but on the chance that she's genuine... She risked her life twice already.
Agh! Just leave already! Even if she's genuine, you're not the type of person who would repay a favor. You've already shown many times that you aren't the type of person to do that.
As my mind rolls around in turmoil the door suddenly clicks and opens. I swing my head violently towards the door, my eyes and mouth twisted in an expression of uncertainty. Our eyes finally meet for the first time. Her ashen colored eyes, stare firmly into mine. We stay like this for a brief period of time. Seemingly unrelenting, I finally break gaze as if I had lost some sort of battle.
"Don't try to act nice just to get me on your side. I already told you, I hate you, so this isn't going to change anything." I put up a tough front, hoping to make her crack even the slightest.
"You can hate me all you want, I don't think you're a bad person."
I wince; there's that phrase again.
I cover my eyes with my hand and shake my head. "This is screwed up, how did you even get those bastards to agree to this?"
Yesenia scoffs, "Anyone could tell what's going on with you after that scene you caused in the castle. You attacked me because you wanted to teach me a lesson about being too naive right? You intentionally held, Rainel immediately knew what was going on. Not to mention, breaking down like a frightened animal when I came close to you, what was with that pathetic display? I'm no warrior, I can't even beat a child if I tried my hardest. It took some convincing but after Hanafin saw that, even he eventually agreed to letting you stay, and Crux had figured it out from the very beginning. Look at you, your emotions are written all over yourself, you're just a bad actor. " She comes off much more aggressively than I thought someone like her would.
I couldn't say anything as Yesenia completely deconstructed all my actions.
"You're reading too deep into it." I said as my eyes slightly shift away.
Yesenia immediately adjusts her position, moving directly in front of my eyes. "Then tell me what I should be thinking." Yesenia was not backing down one bit, she leans in, grabs my palm and holds it against her face. I could feel her breath tickling my hand.
"Rainel noticed that you always released your fire from the hands. If you're really a bad person, then do it, burn me to a crisp."
I stare at my hand, and then suddenly blast an uncomfortable amount of heat straight into her face. No reaction, she doesn't even flinch. I keep my hand on her face for a couple more seconds.
I bring my hand down and sigh. "A bad actor huh?" I mumble, various thoughts running through my head. I throw my hands up in exasperation. "Alright, I give up."
"Wait what?"
"You got through to me. I no longer think I'm a bad person, that's what you wanted this entire time, cause you're so nice right?"
"No I just-"
"What? Out of words because you didn't expect me to turn this quickly? Putting yourself in harms way only works so many times you know."
"I..." Yesenia stammered.
Huh, it looks like she does have a weakness with words after all.
"I just... Came in here expecting to have a little bit more trouble that's all."
"Trouble with what? I thought you were doing this out of the kindness of your heart, you can't possibly be trying to turn me to your side right? " The tide of the conversation for the first time turned to my side.
Yesenia brings her head down and thinks quietly for a second.
"... Yes, it's true that my actions are partially motivated by greed. If you were to turn to the enemy there's no question that we would have no chance to win the war anymore, and I along my brother Hanafin would be executed." Yesenia admits to it. Of course, she can't be this flawless human that she presents herself as.
"But I will tell you this. I do fear death." She says.
I grimace, after putting herself a situation where I could decide to kill her or not 3 times, that just made her actions all the more annoying,
"Why do you want to look like the bad guy so much? I just don't get it." Yesenia said.
"What do you mean? I am bad, I killed that royal guy when I arrived here remember? Burned his skin off and everything. Didn't hold anything back." I said with a crooked smile.
"It couldn't be helped if he intended to kill you first."
"But easily could have held back and spared his life, like I did with you multiple times. Can you at least be consistent with your standards?"
"... I think you have a misconception about me." Yesenia tone shifts ever so slightly.
"After all... I hated that person. So I don't mind the fact that he died, in fact I'm a bit happy"
"Huh?!?!" What was this girl saying?
"Actually, I hate a lot of people, the royal guard are just a bunch of snobs who don't know anything about fighting and just throw their weight around even though they've never accomplished anything significant. The nobles who lost their lands to Oliviand, taking refuge in this city. It's so obvious that a majority of them only care about their own wellbeing, and yet I have to treat them with any sort of respect? Get out of here with that bullshit!"
Yesenia calms down and takes a deep breath.
"So I understand why you're doing what you're doing. I'm not a person who would extend their hand to anyone no matter what type of person they are. When we offered you riches and fame, if you ended up being a scumbag, our consensus was that we were going to kill you if that was the case. I would rather die than serve someone who didn't care for anyone. What you did instead was surprising and quite harmful, but it showed that you were someone with character. So that's why I'm extending my hand out to you. You got it?" She ends her long speech right there.
I begin trembling, my lip shudders, I look down at the ground.
"You don't know shit about me!" I smack the wall as hard as I could. My emotions were being brought to their boiling point, all this being different from other people, being special, being someone above the common person. I've heard it a million times, and all it did was blind me from who I really was.
"That person I killed? I'm infinitely more selfish, infinitely lesser, infinitely more rotten than that piece of garbage. I used to think that I was on the top of the world, the greatest there ever was, and I treated people that way too! When in reality I could not be further from what I thought I was! And do you think that you're an exception? Growing up sheltered, being given everything, earning nothing? You're the same as me, trash can't tell trash what to do. Only I'm much worse, Ohhhh... I'm bad alright, let me tell you who I was. I was once a prince of a country, I trampled on everyone I met, thought nothing of others, thought I was the greatest person ever, loved by everyone and everything. Killed a few people for some dumb reasons. I can't even remember their names! Then when I had my first real struggle, I cried and ran away! So if you ask me why I hate you, it's because you're just like me!" I begin heavily breathing, filled with anger, more so directed at myself than Yesenia.
Yesenia took off her jewel studded diadem, signifying her position as a royal.
"So this is the reason I can't get you to trust me huh? Simply because I'm a princess? Then the solution is simple."
"What are you-"
Yesenia casually opens the window, and then chucks it far into the sky.
I watch dumbfounded as it sails somewhere into the city, no way to recover it.
"I'll no longer be princess Yesenia, just Yesenia. I'll leave the castle and live by myself somewhere in the 3rd district. I won't step down as the current acting leader of Lyster, but I'll be nothing but the common person. How's that sound?"
I stare at her, no words to say.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought myself as solely the product of my environment. That if I had been raised as a regular person, without people telling me that I was great and special all the time, having to experience failures and setbacks, having to work hard for everything I had, that I wouldn't have turned out like this. That I would have been someone respectable, but here was someone who grew up the same way as me, and didn't share any of my traits.
Yes. I did not hate her because she was a royal. I hated her because she was a royal, and at the same time a decent person, something that my close mindedness could never admit. Despite all my self-loathing and hating, I never really blamed myself. I blamed everyone else for making me the way that I was.
I sigh. "Time to stop running away huh?" I speak to myself.
"Yesenia... I have a favor to ask of you." I finally say with resignation.
"Yes?"
"I need to go out into the city and find somebody. I want Hanafin, Rainel, and Crux, all three of them to follow me there armed and equipped , so we can finally end this. I'm… I'm going to find the assassin that invaded the palace on the day I was summoned."
"You know who the assassin is?" Yesenia says with surprise.
I nod my head.
It came as a surprise to me as well, but well… I guess it made sense after I thought about it for a while.
"Her name is Gleek." I say.