*Delilah*
It was a cold and gloomy morning, I was hurriedly walking through the corridors of the convent, the daily prayer would begin in a few minutes and I could not be late. I entered the small chapel where the sisters were already positioned in their seats. The Mother Superior gave me her stern gaze, I just sat down and kept my head down. The priest began the prayer, pressed the rosary between his fingers and fervently repeated the mantras.
I am never late for prayers, I am always the first to wake up and I go to the kitchen to help prepare breakfast together with Sister Mary and Sister Magdalena, they are good and help me with everything I need, however, this morning, I ended up being late, I don't know what happened to me, but I slept too much. Of course, I know there will be consequences, but I'm hopeful the Mother Superior will not look at the fact that I was the last to come in but understand that I made it on time.
After the prayer, we all went to the dining room, a large area with a large table and several chairs around it. I got to my feet to help serve breakfast. The priest and mother sat at the head of the table. The sisters responsible for preparing the meal and I served the food. In the kitchen, Sister Mary whispered in my ear.
— Why were you late today?
— I don't know, I overslept.
— You never did this...
— I know, but it looks like I took some sleeping pills, I just passed out!
— I was going to wake you up, but the Mother Superior stopped me.
— Will I get punished?
— I think so, she seemed really mad.
I was sad, it was unfair, I just arrived at the last minute, I wasn't even late. But I couldn't do anything, I've lived in this convent for as long as I can remember, I've never had a family, I don't even know anything about the outside world, but to be honest I don't want to. In a few days, I will be 18 and I will tell Mother Superior that I want to become a novice, follow and live life to help people. My social work with orphaned children, like me, makes me very satisfied, I love helping them, teaching them, and taking care of them. I want to dedicate my life to it, becoming the bride of Jesus forever.
We finished serving breakfast and before we started to eat, all the nuns lined up and one by one, we kissed the priest's hand. When we were done, he said the prayer for the blessing of the food. In the end, we sat in our chairs and waited for the priest and Mother Superior to serve themselves first, so that we could start eating. As soon as they were finished, before I could take any food to my mouth, the Mother Superior spoke sternly.
— Delilah, get up and go to the punishment room, you will be fasting the entire morning thinking about your lateness today.
I got up and went where she said, I already knew the way, the punishment room is where I often stay, not because I'm disobedient or rebellious, on the contrary, I do everything I'm told, all the chores, I help where I am needed, I take care of the garden, the nuns' rooms, I even help in the convent secretariat organizing documents, but nothing I do is welcomed by the Mother Superior and some nuns. They find any reason to punish me. I walk steady to the room, holding back tears, crying is not allowed, this means weakness in faith, I need to stand firm and thank God for being punished, this means he is strengthening me for the hardships of life of total surrender. I entered the room and knelt on the hard, cold floor.
I stayed in that position all morning, praying and asking God for forgiveness. I was so hungry that I thought I was going to succumb, but I held on, it's been a long time, I don't know what time it is now, but it was probably close to lunchtime. The mother said I have to stay the entire morning. I hear the door opening so I intensify the prayer. I don't dare to move, my knees are hurting, but I don't dare get out of position. I listen to Mother's order.
—Stand up!
I obey immediately, standing up and keeping my head down as a sign of respect. Hands behind her back. She approaches me and holds my face, making me look at her.
—I hope you learned your lesson, Delilah. In this convent, there is no place for lazy women.
— Yes Ma'am, I learned.
—Did I order you to speak, you insolent girl?
She yelled and slapped me in the face. I just kept quiet, holding back the tears as long as I could. Wickedly, she picked at my hair and observed the natural kinky strands. She pulled them until the scalp was sore.
—You are the devil's temptation Delilah, your beauty should not be seen by anyone...
She looks me up and down and adds
—But what to expect with people of your race... the race of demons!
She pushed me and I hit the wall.
—You are released from punishment for today. There is work to be done.
—Yes ma'am!
—Now get out of my sight.
I ran out of the room. I don't understand why Mother Superior hates me so much, two years ago she took over the convent and has treated me this way ever since. Mother Superior Dulce, who preceded her, was an angel, treated me with affection and protected me from the evil of other inmates and even other sisters. Now there's no one to protect me from them. I really don't understand why all this hate on me.
In the hallway I met Sister Mary, she spoke quietly.
—Are you okay?
—Yea.
—I'm sorry, Delilah.
—It was my fault, there's no need to be sorry.
—Let's stop this talk girls.
—Delilah, there are chores, after finishing them, you can go to the school to help with the children.
One of the sisters spoke up, she was responsible for distributing the chores and always let me stay with the kids after the chores.
—Thank you, sister Jenny!
Before starting work, I ate a piece of bread, so I wouldn't have anything in my stomach. The rest of the day went by quickly, and I managed to do all the tasks assigned to me. We had lunch in the afternoon and Sister Jenny released me to stay with the kids. I arrived at the daycare and the little ones ran towards me.
—Delilah, Delilah, we missed you.
—Me too- I said euphorically.
—I'm glad you came, the kids didn't stop asking for you - the teacher said excitedly.
—They are sweethearts.
I spent the rest of the afternoon at the Creche. There was the place I liked to stay the most, I felt good, children always made me have a smile on my lips. The crèche was within the convent walls in a building away from the nuns' main house. It was a school maintained by the church, but the teachers were not part of the religious life.
—He's very good with children. - The teacher spoke.
—Yes, I want to dedicate my life to them.
— Do you intend to become a nun?
—Yea.
—But you're so young, it's a very important step.
—I know, but I'm ready.
—Aren't you curious to see the outside world? Meet guys.
—No!
—Have you ever seen a man other than a priest?
—No, and I don't even intend to.
—I'm going to ask you a question and I hope you don't get upset.
—You can do- I laughed shyly.
—Do you know what sex is?
I closed my smile and held up my crucifix.
—It's something a man and a woman do to procreate.
— Yes, Kind of. And have you ever thought that you will deprive yourself of having your own children?
—I don't think about it, taking care of these orphaned children already fills my whole being, I don't feel the need to have children of my own.
—I understand.
The teacher didn't talk about it anymore and I continued taking care of the little ones, that was my mission.