What is a mystery? Is it an axiom representing what is not perceptible and understandable? Is it the unfathomable, incomprehensible no matter how people try to make it specious? No, it isn't that. The definition of mystery is only what people can conceive, a specious fact with loopholes. People believe what they believe to be true and sadly, it has plunged them to the endless gore of ignorance.
Mysteries aren't what we don't understand or what we can't comprehend. Mysteries aren't what remain hidden, taciturn to the ever yearning ears of people. Mysteries aren't the supernatural laws which can't be explained or fathomed. No, the definition of 'mysteries' is beyond that.
Mysteries are what can't be reached no matter how we try to reach them. It isn't what can't be comprehended. Rather, it's what can't be reached. They are endless gores, immersed into the abyssal chasm of infinities. Mysteries are a state of endlessness and boundlessness, incomprehensible and unfathomable. Yes, that's what mysteries are. Cyclopean and grosteque phantasm is what a mystery should be called. A mystery transcends the feebleness and lumbering states of concepts, going on and on for eternity. Hence, a mystery is the same as infinity and infinity the same as a mystery. A mystery is infinite and infinity is mysterious—both are like a symphony, intertwined with each other making them chalcenterous and existing in oneness. To understand a mystery, you need to be boundless and infinite, transcending all possible concepts and impossible concepts, all possible 'non-concepts' and all impossible 'non-concepts'. Mysteries are beyond conception as well as non-conception. They are mysteries, boundless and infinite! They are stacked upon each other in a terracing manner, shrouded in the prodigious paradigm of infinity, going on and on till infinity!
My name is Cassio Damien Hastle, a Sefirah shrouded in mysteries and this is an account of my story.
~
He stood in the foggy sky, staring at the illusory buildings around him. They were infinite, stretching across the boundless sky like abyssal chasms. He couldn't see their tops or bottom, neither could he see the end of their lengths, widths nor breadths. Countless of these buildings dotted the sky, furrowing through the boundlessness and the infiniteness. These buildings were painted with grostequeness, lacking definite appearances and descriptions. They were unfathomable and incomprehensible as if whoever sculptured them made that achievement by a mysterious effort—as if whoever did that was beyond the mysterious buildings themselves!
He stared at the tiny dots which he knew to be also the buildings and stared back at the ones around him, immersed in perplexity and curiosity. He couldn't even begin to describe them if he wanted to! He tried moving and felt himself pulled into one of the buildings with a force he couldn't also describe. The force which pulled him was powerful and as well not powerful, it was strong and as well not strong! The force which pulled him was mysterious, shrouded in the unknown!
He didn't know how long it was or when he arrived in the building but he knew it took him infinity to reach the building. He transversed through the illusory building and arrived in the interior. It looked like an endless hall, stretching boundlessly till infinity. This hall was surreal and mysterious that he couldn't even begin to describe it. In the hall were cabinets which were arranged across the boundless hall, going on till infinity. Even the word, 'infinity' couldn't describe how infinite and endless the cabinets were. These cabinets exuded a faint lambency, painting them in luminous azures.
He was very curious about what lay inside the cabinets. Although he couldn't fathom what were inside, he could feel their boundlessness which beclouded him with a pronounced dizziness. He wanted to explore them, to delve into the truth behind them. But at that very moment, he heard whispers which furrowed into his mind.
"Cassio," the voice seemed hypnotic, drowning him in the ocean of hypnosis. For some time, he was lost in the whispers which exuded geniality. Then he felt himself sink out of the hall, falling at a pace which nothing could describe—inexplicable and unfathomable speed. He descended for eternity, closing his eyes as the unknown force bore him down.
~
"Cassio!"
His eyes quivered open as he jerked his head off the desk. His dull eyes met the gazes of everyone in class but none was as fierce as that of Mrs. Patricia, the Chemistry teacher. He stood up slowly, swallowing nervously as he wasn't used to getting so much attention. A 15-year old introvertive and taciturn kid like him always kept to himself, drowning in the ocean of reticence.
Auburn hair, average height, sea blue eyes, and beautiful lips all attributed to the handsomeness of Cassio. But then, apart from his facial attributes, there was nothing special about him. He was always average in everything, only a little higher than failure. Of all the Grade 10 students, he was the only one seen as a pain in the neck and detested—not even the 'D' students and bullies were much detested. Even his classmates viewed him with disdain and kept far off from him as possible for most times, he behaved queer. When he was walking, he always muttered words such as, 'infinity', 'boundlessness', 'endlessness and 'mystery'. He never talked and kept to himself, always lost in his wild imaginations. When he was not lost, he would be sleeping muttering those weird words in his sleep. Even when people talked to him, he found it difficult to even speak! He had been sent to the school's clinic for checkup but came out perfectly fine—the doctors said he was perfectly fine!
The news about Cassio was not only known to Littleton High School but to everyone who knew him in the whole of Alexander Street, Whitehorse! Rumours had also begun circulating that he was possessed by some demon which always seized control of his mind, plunging him into a state of loss. "And that's why he's always a little higher than failure!" people who knew him would say with scoffs, viewing him with disgust. They even suggested among themselves that he should be sent to the Methodist Cathedral or Catholic Church for fervent prayers by the priests.
Mrs. Patricia sized Cassio up and down, having a pang of contempt for the seemingly dull kid. He never paid attention in her class and was either lost in thought or dreaming. And of course, today he had been muttering weird words which no one understood the reason he muttered them.
"What was I saying about organic chemistry?" Mrs. Patricia asked with piercing eyes. If eyes were knives, hers would have cut Cassio in halves!
Cassio watched her red, glossy lips move in a random manner. He watched her black eyes bore into his feeble mind. He watched her face become pale and her brown, curly hair dance elegantly to the ceiling fans which whirled in the large classroom with students numbering up to 50. But then, he wasn't listening. His mind was elsewhere, pondering on the dream he had been rudely woken from. This recurring dream of a foggy sky, boundless buildings, halls and cabinets drowned him in the ocean of thoughts as he wondered the reason he had them. Ever since he was 10, he had been having such dreams of an unknown, incomprehensible and unfathomable place which didn't suit any human description or comprehension. He wondered why the cabinets were basked in hues of azure and why they exuded faint lambency.
"Cassio!" Mrs. Patricia screamed her head out, her eyes glaring at Cassio who was becoming lost to the world again. Has this kid gone bonkers or what?
"Ma'am?" Cassio replied rather silently, his voice only faintly being heard by the Chemistry teacher.
"You definitely have a problem," Mrs. Patricia said coldly, sizing Cassio up with disdain. Of course, Cassio didn't care. Ever since he was born, he had never felt what love truly was. He was hated, despised and scorned by everyone around him. Even his parents hated him—they hated him more than outsiders did. Of course, he was not their real son but an adopted outsider brought into the shelter of the Humphrey family. He regretted why he was adopted from the orphanage and why he didn't die at birth. He regretted why his real mother left him for good and why she didn't abort him instead of dumping him.
Mr. Humphrey, his stepfather, was the worst among them. He was an ex basketball player who retired for an unknown reason even though he was just 40 of age. He always sat in the sitting room, drinking beer and watching CNN day-to-day. Cassio never saw when he came to the sitting room or when he left. And that was where Mr. Humphrey would summon Cassio, maltreating him for no reason.
Mrs. Humphrey, his stepmother was another case. She wouldn't let go of the chance to insult and humiliate him. She would shout words like, 'Wilburn Home orphan', 'muddy vagabond' and 'little demonic thing.' His stepbrother was another case he didn't want to revisit.
And that was how Cassio knew the name of the orphanage he had been adopted from. He was a muddy vagabond and little demonic thing from Wilburn Home Orphanage! Many times, he tried reporting to the cops about how he was maltreated but he was always treated with contempt by even the cops who didn't believe him for once! Of course, his stepparents denied maltreating him and complained that he was always delusional. The cops didn't have to hear it for they saw for themselves that he was queer looking and always lost in his thoughts, muttering the strange words.
So, whatever hatred people showed him, he didn't care at all. He was an introvert, indifferent to all of them and only found solace in himself, having no friend but several foes!
And when Mrs. Patricia told him that he had a problem he didn't even frown. He just kept his usual serious expression, staring at nothing in particular. He wasn't even staring at her! He only tugged at his white hoodies, patted imaginary dusts off his blue jeans and then looked down at his white hike boots. That was the perfect thing to do in such a circumstance.
Mrs. Patricia fumed and fumed but that didn't change Cassio's expression and in the end, he was asked to leave the class till it was over. The whole class giggled as they watched him walk out of the class, dragging his feet slowly across the marble floor which reflected rays of light from the florescent bulbs.
When Cassio got outside, he sighed and rested against the wall which was made of concrete red bricks. He stared into the sky, watching the birds flying freely without the slightest bit of restraint. He heard them chirp as they flew around, landing on and taking off trees. Seeing how free they were, he couldn't help but sigh again.
"The sky is boundless and endless and the birds are free to roam about in the azure," he said quietly. "They have no worries, no pains and no troubles. They just fly."
He chuckled dryly and then said, "I wish I was like 'em birds, flying here and there without constraint. I would be free to roam the endless sky and wouldn't be despised at all!"
One of Cassio's wonts was always staring at birds or other animals, watching them go about their daily lives. Being someone who seemed to have an affinity with nature, he loved animals deeply. Back at home, he had a golden retriever as a pet. This beautiful thing had been discovered lying in the alley behind their house one early morning, shivering from the cold wind. Cassio had secretly tolled the stray thing and hidden it in his room, feeding it. He didn't want his jobless stepfather to seize the poor creature from him and toss it outside or his stepmother to nag about how demonic he was, going about with demonic things. Of course, the golden retriever became familiar with him—it loved its master deeply.
Cassio's thoughts continued wandering till he was drowned in the sea of thoughts and didn't know when he fell asleep again. And then he dreamt of the foggy sky, boundless buildings, halls and cabinets drowned in luminous azure.